Chapter 63

The Taste of the Blade

In the Central Plains, there is something called a xiehouyu (歇后语).

It is one of the four major idioms in the Chinese language, which began during the Tang Dynasty.

You can think of it as a form of wordplay created in daily life, often containing humorous content.

And if I were to describe this absurd situation with an appropriate xiehouyu,

it would be "Zhu Bajie eating the ginseng fruit, not knowing its taste at all" (豬八戒吃人參果, 全不知滋味).

A literal translation would be "Zhu Bajie ate the ginseng fruit without tasting it."

It's a phrase that conveys a feeling like "pearls before swine," you might say?

This xiehouyu originates from the story in "Journey to the West" where Zhu Bajie, without tasting it, swallowed the ginseng fruit that he had taken from Sun Wukong. It's a fitting description of the actions of these beggars now.

Zhu Bajie swallowed the precious ginseng fruit without even tasting it, but these beggars were smearing my stir-fried vegetables onto the finely shredded steamed buns made of flour, shoving them into their mouths in large chunks.

I should have expected this when I thought about the beggars evaluating my food. Enjoying food is something that only those who can eat leisurely can do.

These beggars from the丐帮 (Beggars' Gang) are too busy trying to get through each day and fill their bellies to evaluate food.

It was an absurd idea from the start...

In front of my eyes, a truly beautiful scene was unfolding.

My stir-fried vegetables, artfully cooked over a hot flame, were blending together in the begging bowls, singing a song of unity and harmony, or rather, a scene of madness.

The stir-fried vegetables were becoming one with the coarse rice, disappearing into the beggars' mouths.

"J-Just what are you... d-doing?"

Clenching my teeth, I spat out each word, and the clueless beggars smiled brightly.

"Ah, please wait a moment. After we taste everything, we'll tell you if it's worthy of the Food Dragon."

Tasting means checking if the vegetables are cooked well to bring out their texture, if the seasoning is right, and so on. But the beggars took out spoons that seemed specialized for shoveling food into their mouths, and with excited faces, they shoved the food into their mouths.

It felt like something precious of mine was being desecrated.

I wanted to tear the faces of these beggars who were hurriedly stuffing the stir-fried vegetables into their mouths with a grin.

Was it because they didn't understand my feelings, or were they deliberately doing this to annoy me?

The beggars, busy stuffing their mouths with the coarse rice, started chatting happily among themselves.

"Oh, it's good."

"But this might not be much different from the food we beg for, right?"

'You fools, it all tastes the same when you shovel it in!'

"Hey, you! You need to chew and swallow to taste it. Get a grip and taste it properly."

*Chomp chomp chomp*

"Why are you drinking the food like water when I told you to chew it?"

"You fool, that's why you're a third-rate beggar. By the time you reach the fifth level, you can taste food even through your throat."

The two identical beggars, busy shoving food into their mouths, were a comedy of errors.

After a while, the two beggars, who had eaten the three plates of stir-fried vegetables and twenty steamed buns (蒸饼) as quickly as a blink, scraped the empty begging bowls and asked with bright smiles.

"Hehe... Young Master, but the amount seems a bit insufficient to taste properly."

"With such a small amount, it's hard to evaluate the skills..."

For beggars, shamelessness is a basic etiquette. I suppressed my anger at the head of the Beggars' Gang's words and forced a smile.

"It's... hard to taste properly with such a small amount..."

But before I could finish, the head of the Beggars' Gang burst out.

"Hey, Young Master, are you looking down on us beggars? We can taste everything even if we eat like this. And we've begged and eaten a lot from the homes of high officials and the rich, so there's no food we haven't tasted. Don't worry about us not knowing the taste of food."

The head of the Beggars' Gang, Gelun, puffed out his chest proudly and spoke confidently.

In my past life, there were many power bloggers who would cause trouble or do strange things in restaurants. Thinking about it, these beggars are the power bloggers of this era.

At first, I was unsure, but now it's clear they're here to evaluate my cooking skills and, incidentally, get a full meal.

However, I can't just get angry.

If I get angry, these beggars will add something like "I don't know about the taste, but the owner's character..." to their evaluation. If I do any cooking-related work in the future, such negative reviews will follow me persistently.

But I am the descendant of a people who can handle character assassination.

A body forged through countless battles with keyboard warriors on numerous battlefields.

I can't just give them everything they want.

In my past life in China, I would have immediately made two egg omelets, which symbolize fools, and served them.

'What should I do with these guys?'

I want to teach them a lesson, but I can't think of a way.

***

After dividing and eating the three plates of stir-fried vegetables and twenty steamed buns that Liu Qingyun had served, Gelun and Chaobang were a bit disappointed.

After all, they were here to evaluate the martial arts and cooking skills of the prospective son-in-law of the Zhuge family, and with the nickname "Food Dragon," they had expected some greasy meat dishes. Instead, the Food Dragon served a simple stir-fried vegetable dish.

High officials and the rich might have appreciated Liu Qingyun's vegetable dishes for their health benefits, but for beggars, who are always hungry, vegetable dishes are the least favorite.

They had hoped to get a bit of grease in their throats, but it was a disappointment.

However, they couldn't openly ask for meat dishes as beggars.

Disappointed, Gelun's ear caught Chaobang's telepathic message.

"By the way, how do you plan to bring out the Young Master's skills? From what I saw earlier, his cooking doesn't seem much different from other chefs."

Chaobang, who had expected something grand from the Food Dragon, sounded a bit disappointed.

"We should start soon."

"What do you mean by 'start'?"

"We should ask him to serve more dishes."

"Will he serve them willingly?"

"This is the face of this beggar, Gelun. If I go to the Zhuge family and only get vegetables, how much will other beggars mock me? Don't worry."

Gelun, confident in himself, spoke loudly, but Chaobang's slightly nervous telepathic message came again.

"But the Young Master seems a bit... angry, doesn't he?"

Liu Qingyun seemed a bit angry, but he wouldn't harm them since they were here to evaluate his skills.

Gelun told Chaobang not to worry.

"Even if Liu Qingyun is angry, he's from one of the Seven Great Families. He won't harm us. Don't worry."

"No, I mean... her."

Gelun turned his head to where Chaobang was pointing and saw Liu Qingyun's wife, Zhuge Qing, frowning and glaring at the two beggars with a cold light in her eyes.

*Gulp*

It was a chilling, ghostly gaze.

Faced with that gaze, his grand plan naturally changed, and the words came out naturally.

"Y-Young Master, let's just eat one more dish and finish the evaluation. We're busy, you see."

It seemed like a dangerous vein was about to burst, so it was better to avoid it.

Gelun's innate talent for begging told him that this was not a feast but a funeral offering.

***

The beggars said they would eat one more dish and finish the evaluation.

However, no matter what dish I served, it was unlikely they would give a proper taste evaluation.

While thinking of a way to show my skills and teach the beggars a lesson, my wife, Zhuge Qing, came over and whispered.

"Seeing Master's hard work being treated so roughly, I'm so upset. I want to flick their foreheads or noses with my fingers."

'Is she planning to kill them?!'

Startled by my wife's sudden threat, I couldn't help but wipe the cold sweat from my forehead.

"I-I'm fine. Just think about it. Just think."

I had already seen the power of her hands once, and if an angry Zhuge Qing smacked the foreheads of the two beggars, their brains, which they only use for begging, would be erased.

'Zero-distance railgun shot!'

The image of ketchup splattering everywhere flashed in my mind and quickly disappeared, and Zhuge Qing's voice came again.

"But does Master have to feed them? The people from the Beggars' Gang are so annoying. Is there a way to just show them?"

"Just show them...?"

Zhuge Qing seemed quite upset, and I pondered her words.

Cooking is not just about taste but also about visual appeal and technique.

After a moment of reflection, a good idea came to mind.

Yes, there was a dish that could both