Chapter 11

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Series: A Love That Lurks at the Dining Table

Previous chapter

It was the day after I accepted Hino-kun’s invitation to the aquarium. I stood at the nearest station’s terminal, which was crowded because of the break. There were more people carrying paper souvenir bags than families pulling carry cases, probably because Obon and summer vacation was ending soon.

At first he said he would pick me up from my station, but I was glad I refused him. It was within walking distance of our high school and getting in a crowded train together would have been dangerous.

If someone took a picture and uploaded it online, his reputation would drop.

It’s not like walking in the shopping district. Although I was used to it, he was a person categorized as an entertainer.

Surely he had more than his fair share of things to look out for, so I couldn’t add on to those worries.

I couldn’t make a mistake and become a burden to him.

I stared at my reflection in the cafe window in front of me.

I was really worried about what to wear today.

Hino-kun, even when he was inside, always wore clothes that even an amateur could tell was fashionable. I didn’t want to embarrass him by wearing something strange. But I also didn’t want it to seem like I was overly excited.

I always liked food, but I didn’t have any interest in clothes before now. My standard was always just “don’t look weird.”

That was fine before today, but as I was getting ready, I greatly regretted choosing clothes based on that criteria.

The window reflected my dark face and I hurriedly shoved the thought out of my head so it wouldn’t show.

I had a simple top and a long skirt. I looked up many outfits on my phone and picked out something I thought suited me, but I wasn’t sure.

Maybe pants would have been better than a skirt. While I was agonizing, someone put a hand on my shoulder.

“Sorry for making you wait.”

Hino-kun looked at me. Today he had on a pair of stylish glasses and had a bit of an adult atmosphere to him. His refreshing white shirt suited him. He felt like a completely different person when he smiled at me.

“You look cute today, like always. Then, shall we get going?”

I went to follow behind him, filled with nervousness, but he held out his hand.

“Can we hold hands?”

This was probably to practice for his drama. Definitely. I nervously placed my hand in his and he squeezed.

“Thanks, Igarashi-san. Please take care of me today.”

Hino-kun walked towards the aquarium. I gripped his hand back, praying my heart wouldn’t stop today as I walked next to him.

◇

After fifteen minutes of walking through the main streets, we arrived inside of the aquarium, which was different than what I was imagining.

It was dimly lit, just like what I remembered from when I visited with my family when I was a child. But the ceiling was decorated with colorful lights that seemed to float, and the ground under my feet had projection mapping that made it look like blooming flowers. Everything also glowed a subtle blue, giving it a fantasy atmosphere.

“There are weekly exhibits and since we’re not here as elementary students to learn, the atmosphere is completely different. So I thought we would be able to peacefully look around, Igarashi-san.”

Hino-kun looked away from where a school of small fish were swimming leisurely and turned to me.

We were still holding hands.

I had to handle it because it was practice for his drama, but I was still embarrassed. Additionally, there were lots of pairs of people who seemed like couples, and being so close to him was unbearable.

“Hey, look at that fish, Igarashi-san. It’s glowing.”

Hino-kun pointed to a small tank. We both got close to look in it, but as soon as our shoulders touched, I immediately backed away.

“What’s wrong? Do you hate fish?”

“N-no.”

“Then, you can’t see if you don’t come closer. Look, it’s easiest to see from over here.”

Hino-kun pulled my arm and narrowed the distance between us again.

He stared at the fish with curiosity and I could see the light from the tank reflected in his black eyes. Heat accumulated in my cheeks and suddenly I felt nervous that my intertwined hand was sweaty.

“Hino-kun.”

“Hm?”

“Shouldn’t we stop holding hands…? I’m probably s-sweating so much.”

His eyes dropped to our connected hands. I made sure that I was only lightly holding his when he looked back up.

“Not at all. More like, your hands are cool and comfortable, so it’s fine. So don’t worry. Oh, I’m not sweating, am I? Is it okay?”

“Eh, you’re fine, Hino-kun, but…”

“Then let’s go. Look, there’s the jellyfish display. I love jellyfish,” he said and walked forward.

Since we were still holding hands, I followed behind him, almost like I was being dragged.

“I didn’t really have an interest in jellyfish before, but I really liked when you cooked them with cucumbers before.”

“Ohh…”

Right now, Hino-kun was interested in jellyfish as food…?

I didn’t see the aquarium like that. Fish to look at and fish to eat were different. But his eyes were shining as he stared at the jellyfish in a large, spherical aquarium.

“Delicious, I wonder how many there are.”

Maybe Hino-kun liked food even more than I did…

After glancing at his brightly smiling profile, I stared at the jellyfish floating in the tank.

The semi-transparent jellyfish swam under red, purple, yellow and green light sources. Some of the jellyfish were illuminated by extremely colorful lights and attracted people’s attention, while others were not illuminated and just drifted around.

I guess Hino-kun… was also under various lights like that.

Looking at the display made me feel sad somehow, but next to me Hino-kun was whispering about an all-you-can-eat buffet and it made me feel conflicted. His distinction between something to look at and something to eat seemed vague. He looked like he was in the fish section of a supermarket.

I should buy a lot of jellyfish and make Chinese salad tomorrow…

After I decided that, Hino-kun pulled my arm and said, “Let’s go look at the squid over there.”

Maybe he wanted it to be boiled… or something…?

In any case, I decided that tomorrow I would make boiled squid and Chinese salad with jellyfish tomorrow as I went around the aquarium with Hino-kun.

◇

While still holding hands with Hino-kun, we walked into a restaurant connected to the aquarium.

As we slowly walked around the exhibition rooms, we decided to have lunch here.

It was actually past lunch. The peak of congestion had passed, so despite it being a holiday, the cafeteria was relatively empty. We came at a good time.

“What do you feel like eating, Igarashi-san?”

“Hmm… curry, I guess? Museums and art galleries are different, but since we came here, I can’t help but want curry.”

Somehow, I felt like the taste would be different than from other restaurants. I often ordered curry when I came to restaurants attached to places like this because it tastes similar to the curry I used to eat at school lunches.

“What else?”

“What else? Um… I don’t know.”

It would depend on what was on the menu… Maybe ramen or something…?

I prefered eating ramen in the summer more than in the winter. Probably because every time I went to the pool or the beach when I was little, we would have ramen for lunch.

My dad said that ramen was the best after you sweat a lot… So now when I think of summer, I think of ramen too.

“Ramen, I guess.”

“Then how about I order ramen and you can have half?”

“There’s nothing you want to eat, Hino-kun…?”

“Yeah. Everything other than the food you make tastes the same. Curry and ramen won’t be any different.”

“I-I wonder…”

Hino-kun seemed sure, but curry and ramen were completely different. The taste was also very different… They were both salty, but noodles and rice were different.

Anything other than what I made tasted the same…

I wondered what happened to him for that to be the case.

Anyways, I didn’t think his situation was good right now. I usually made a bit extra in case he got hungry in the morning, and lately he has been properly eating breakfast, but still…

It would probably be best if he went to the hospital once. While I was thinking that, a bright voice called out, “Oh, Yousuke?”

Our connected hands seperated at once. I turned in the direction of the voice to see Sasaki-san and some other classmates. They looked different than they did in school, but I could recognize them as the girls and boys of our class.

Kawauchi-kun was also there. Since Sasaki-san was part of the girls basketball club, this was probably a basketball club gathering.

Sasaki-san ran up to Hino-kun, but tilted her head when she saw me.

“Oh, why are you together with Yousuke, Igarashi-san~?”

“Um…”

Sasaki-san seemed more displeased than confused.

Everyone else was staring daggers at me. Kawauchi-kun alone looked like he just didn’t understand what was going on, but it was only a matter of time before he thrust his distrusting gaze my way.

I needed to quickly say something or they’ll misunderstand.

“Actually–“

“I came here with my f-family, but then I got seperated from them, but then Hino-kun, I saw Hino-kun.”

Even though I was getting upset, I tried my best to think of an excuse and convince Sasaki-san.

I suddenly realized that I interrupted Hino-kun, but this was probably fine. I gripped my hands in a fist as the girls around her said, “Really,” and the tense atmosphere softened.

“I’ve never seen them talk in the classroom, so I was surprised to think they might have been going out.”

“You know, it’s more like they don’t get involved at all.”

But Sasaki-san alone seemed unconvinced as she stared at me blankly.

Anyways, I should leave this place. It would be bad if rumors started spreading and got in the way of Hino-kun’s job.

When I went to take a step back, Sasaki-san shot me a sharp look.

“But, well, Igarashi-san and Yousuke don’t suit each other at all. Just look at their atmosphere. Look, Yousuke is the gorgeous type, but Igarashi-san is the plain type… I mean, mature type. –Sorry, I didn’t mean to say that.”

The cold tinge of her last sentence pierced my heart.

“Y-yeah. That’s…”

I tried to agree with Sasaki-san, but my heart was aching painfully. It was different than when I was talking with Hino-kun. It hurt because I was sad.

What she said was correct. She was correct, but since it felt like she forcibly made me listen to something I didn’t want to hear, I was filled with a desire to run away.

“U-um, I should probably go back to searching for my, my parents… Bye.”

I spun on my heel and left, heading to the crowded hallway.

I turned around for a second to see Hino-kun staring at me in shock, but I ran away from there, feeling regretful.

◇

In the distance, I could see dolphins flying in the sky and jumping through rings before splashing back into the water.

I was watching from behind the last row of seats, in a place that couldn’t even be called an aisle.

After I ran away from everyone, I didn’t know where to go. I went to the restroom, but I would get in the way if I stayed there, so I came here. Quite a while has passed since then.

I thought about leaving the aquarium, but running into Sasaki-san and the others after I said I came with my parents terrified me.

Behind me was the employees entrance and everyone was looking at the dolphins, so it was easier for me to make excuses for being here than at the entrance.

If Sasaki-san and the others came to see the dolphins, then I should be able to immediately make my escape without them noticing me.

I sighed and looked down at my feet. I checked a lot to make sure that my shoes matched my clothes and didn’t look weird.

Same with my top, my skirt, my bag, and my hair style. But the thing that didn’t match was the fact that I was with Hino-kun.

Sasaki-san and everyone else looked at me strangely, and I might have caused him trouble today just because I happened to be lucky. When I thought about it, I felt terribly sorry and miserable.

“Haah…“

What should I do now? The aquarium’s closing time was 8 PM. It was 2 PM now. Sasaki-san and the others shouldn’t be here until closing time.

When should I leave so I don’t run into them? It might be best to wait until closing time. Just when I was turning my cell phone back on, I felt someone pull my wrist.

“I found you…”

“Wha-“

There was a hand just barely grasping my wrist.

I looked back to see that it was, unmistakably, Hino-kun. He was breathing roughly as he stared strongly at me, almost like a glare.

“H-Hino-kun…?”

“Thank goodness…”

I could see how relieved Hino-kun looked as he corrected his breathing. There was sweat on his forehead and I felt how terribly hot his hand was from where he gripped my wrist. Could it be – no, don’t tell me he was searching for me…?

“….Were you looking for me…?”

“Isn’t that obvious? I mean, you shouldn’t have left me. It’s hard to find exactly where you are indoors… I only knew that you were still here.”

“Y-yeah, I’m sorry…”

Hard to find indoors…? No, in any case, I needed to apologize to Hino-kun. I tried to bow, but he shook his head.

“You don’t need to apologize. It was because I was there that that woman and the basketball members… I’m very sorry you had to face that. I’ll do something about them, I promise.”

Hino-kun bowed. I tried to stop him, but he wouldn’t lift his face. When I touched his shoulder to force him upright, he finally met my gaze.

“I’m really sorry… I didn’t know they were going to come here today… I should have looked into that as well… They really said whatever they wanted, like that nonsense about you being plain.”

“No, you don’t need to apologize, Hino-kun. Look, it’s true that I’m not an amazing person like you, so it couldn’t be helped. It’s obvious.”

“It’s not something that couldn’t be helped. They’re just jealous of you. They’re just frustrated because they can’t beat you. You’re not plain at all and you don’t deserve to be called that by them. There’s no way we don’t suit each other.”

Hino-kun’s strong conviction made my heart calm, like what I felt before was a lie.

He was in a different world than me. Even though I still understood that, the hole caused by Sasaki-san’s words was buried and the pain in my chest disappeared.

“I hate her the most… She made you seem like a fool on top of making you uncomfortable. I wish she had died.”

“T-that’s…”

“She’s better off dead. I hope she dies now… now…!”

Hino-kun’s face distorted as his voice took on a tone as if he was muttering a curse. I was afraid to touch him because I couldn’t stand to see him like that, but he rested his forehead on my shoulder. I could feel the heat from his forehead transfer to my back.

“Don’t leave me again.”

“Eh…”

“I really hated it when you ran away, Igarashi-san. When I was searching for you, I was terrified of what would happen if I couldn’t ever hear you again. When I thought about you abandoning me and never being able to see you again… I was so sad. Please, no more.”

Hino-kun spoke in a hoarse voice as he squeezed my wrist. It sounded like he was going to cry, and I was attacked with shock and guilt.

“I’m really sorry, Hino-kun.”

“You don’t need to apologize, just promise not to leave again.”

“…Okay, I promise.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“And if you lie…?”

His voice was different from before. Now it sounded like he was testing me.

“If that happens, will you listen to one thing I ask?” He asked me, “Just one thing, but it can be anything. I’ll be okay if you agree.”

“Okay, I understand. I agree.”

“…You said it.”

He lifted his head off of my shoulder with a smile. His eyes looked like they blocked out all light. The inorganic feeling to his gaze that seemed neither childish nor mature left me feeling uneasy.

“Um…”

“Then, let’s resume our date. Want to watch the dolphins?”

While still holding my wrist, Hino-kun pulled me in the direction of the viewing seats. He seemed to be in a good mood. We walked towards the seats together when he seemed like he just realized something.

“Hino-kun?”

“Watch your feet, Igarashi-san. I almost slipped just now and took you with me.”

“Okay, thanks… Aah–“

I suddenly felt a strong tug on my arm. When I quickly turned to Hino-kun, the light was blocked and I felt something soft on my lips.

I just blinked as Hino-kun’s lips pressed against mine.

Could it be that this…

When I finally understood the situation, I separated myself from Hino-kun. He had the same shocked look on his face as he immediately apologized.

“I thought you were going to fall so I pulled you, but… I’m sorry, I pulled too hard… Are you okay? Did you hurt your lips? I’m really sorry. I didn’t think I would crash into you… Does it hurt? I don’t see any blood, but do you feel hurt?”

“Um, I-I’m okay. Are you?”

“I’m not hurt. I’m sorry, Igarashi-san. I really am. What should I do for you to forgive me? Um, I-I have a disinfecting wipe, if you want it? Or did you want to wash your face in the bathroom?”

“No, it’s okay… Anyways, um, thanks for stopping me from falling.”

Hino-kun looked like he was sorry from the bottom of his heart, like he’s done something he could never take back. He was panicking.

I repeated that it was okay over and over to calm him down, but I wasn’t okay at all. There was no way I could be okay. Because that was a…

“Then, um, want to watch the dolphin show…? I’m sorry, this time I won’t try to pull you. I won’t do anything you won’t like.”

But when I saw Hino-kun expressing his apologies outwardly a hundred times more than I did, I forced myself to suppress the storm in my heart and headed for the audience with him, repeating that it was okay. Even though it was not okay at all.

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