Chapter 18

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Series: A Love That Lurks at the Dining Table

Previous chapter

After adjusting the temperature of the water in the bathtub, I waited for Hino-kun by the door.

He was probably soaked because he was in a rush. It would be best to warm him up quickly.

I grabbed a towel to finish my preparations and heard a knock on the door. “Igarashi-san,” Hino-kun’s voice called.

“Coming!”

Like I expected, when I opened the door, his hair and clothes were soaked as he stood there holding his travel bag.

Water droplets dripped off his pale brown hair and down his cheeks. His clothes were also soaked to the point of being another color.

I immediately handed him the towel I was holding.

“Are you okay, Hino-kun?”

“Yeah…”

“I also prepared the bath so you should enter it!”

“Okay.”

Hino-kun was looking down so I couldn’t see his expression.

He was probably trying to stop the water from getting in his eyes. I grabbed his arm and led him to the bathroom, closing the door to the changing room so he could change his clothes right away.

“There’s a change of clothes in the basket.”

I prepared a change of clothes before Hino-kun arrived.

The change of clothes was in the closet, but I didn’t use it since I brought pajamas with me.

All the rooms were individual rooms and no one was given a particular room, so since we went by role call order, the floors weren’t separated by gender. So the closets had clothes for both males and females. I was very glad. Our statures were different so I couldn’t lend him my clothes.

In any case, I heated up water in an electric kettle for when he gets out and sat down on a chair.

I didn’t know all the details, but from what he told me, his lodging wasn’t available after his shooting and then it started raining. He was probably in the rain for a while. I was worried that he would catch a cold.

I wish I had a warm water bottle… or something to keep him warm so he could sleep properly.

It probably wasn’t quite the season for hand warmers… But even though it was almost time for lights out, I wondered if I could make it back in time if I went to the convenience store now.

It would be good to go to the nearest convenience store and get some warm food to heat him up. But if I just left while he was in the bath, it would probably make him worried….

Looking at the clock, I had fifteen minutes until lights out. If I left now, I couldn’t get back in. When I sighed at my powerlessness, the hair dryer entered my vision.

“Oh right, the dryer…”

Thinking that I could dry Hino-kun’s clothes, I turned to the changing room. I knocked just in case before I entered the room, and I could see a human figure through the frosted glass of the shower door.

“Hino-kun, um, I thought I should dry your clothes.”

“…Thanks.”

His voice through the door sounded hoarse, almost like he was crying. “Are you okay?” I asked and he responded with a curt, “Yes.”

I was concerned, but he would surely hate to have a long conversation while still in the bath.

I grabbed his wet clothes out of the changing room and hung them up in the closet.

First, I hung up his jacket, which was the most wet, and then his pants. When I used the hair dryer on his jacket… something fell out.

“Woah.”

I jumped back after seeing the underwear on the floor. Well, he went into the bath so it should have been obvious. After a little bit of worrying, I hung them on the inside of the pants hanger. Hino-kun’s travel bag was in the changing room and since he didn’t need to change into it, I left it alone.

After drying his underwear with conflicted emotions, I got to work on his shirt. And after his shirt was back to its original color, I heard Hino-kun say, “I’ve finished, Igarashi-san.”

“Hino-kun, for now I’ve finished drying your co–!?”

I was at a loss for words at the sight before me. When Hino-kun came out of the bath, he was only properly wearing the pajama pants from the hotel. His shirt wasn’t buttoned at all… It was still open. He was basically half naked. He hasn’t finished at all!

“Y-you have to wear your clothes properly, Hino-kun! Or you’ll get a cold!”

“Hm? I couldn’t hear. What did you say?”

He slowly approached me with a somewhat languid look in his eyes. I took a step back and used his jacket as a shield.

“Your front is, open! You’ll catch a cold!”

“…Oh. But I was a little hot.”

“Eh, sorry, I probably made the water too h– Hino-kun!?”

I lowered my makeshift shield – his jacket – to see that he was far closer to me than I expected. When I looked away from him, he asked me, like it was the deepest mystery of the world, “Why won’t you look at me?”

“B-because your shirt is open and, a-anyways, um, right now is impossible!”

“Why? It’s not like you like me so isn’t it fine?”

No, but I do like you! I love you. That’s why this is so… Wait, why did he say it like that…?

He steadily approached me while I was alarmed. I took a step back every time he took a step forward until my heel and the back of my head hit the wall. I couldn’t retreat anymore. At almost the same time I realized that, he grabbed my wrist.

“Your hand is cold… It feels nice.”

He placed my hand on his chest while whispering in a low voice. I was completely touching his skin. I was touching his skin. I couldn’t calm down.

“You’re so red, Igarashi-san…”

His eyes from close range, peaking out between his bangs, seemed to have an enchanting sway. A knock on the door interrupted the panic in my head.

“Igarashi~? Are you there~?”

It was the teacher’s voice.

It must be time for role call and lights out. Oh no. In any case, I needed to go.

“Hide!” I whispered to Hino-kun and ducked away from him. I hurriedly took his shoes from in front of the door and hid them in a shoe box before I opened the door.

“Woah, you didn’t need to rush to run out here. I just wanted to know if you were in your room.”

“H-hahaha…”

The teacher looked at me strangely after I basically flew out the door. Then, after looking behind me to check the inside of the room, he muttered like he just found something.

“That…”

My heart started racing.

He probably figured out that Hino-kun was in my room. Other people were forbidden to enter others rooms from ten minutes before lights out and beyond.

And since Hino-kun was supposed to be absent today, it would be very strange for him to be here.

He must be angry. I waited for the teacher’s next words with a feeling of despair, but he said, “Isn’t this room super dry? Unlike at school, you can operate the air conditioning here freely,” and pointed to the remote control in my room.

“Eh…?”

“If the humidity is too high, you could get heatstroke. Did you not know? It kills people every year.”

After speaking in a casual tone, the teacher turned on his heel and went to the next door.

–He didn’t notice Hino-kun?

I stood dumbfounded as the teacher went to start checking the other rooms. I quickly closed and locked the door, letting out a huge sigh.

I was so glad he didn’t notice. It was too much for my heart. I repeatedly took deep breaths to calm down as I took Hino-kun’s shoes out of the box.

The inside of his shoes were probably wet. I grabbed several sheets of paper toweling and stuffed them inside. I stood up after finishing my work to see Hino-kun right behind me.

“Thanks, Igarashi-san.”

“It’s no problem.”

“Then, shall we sleep? It’s lights out.”

“Yeah. It is lights out.”

I nodded and moved further in the room to the bed–and then my thoughts came to a complete halt.

…That’s right. Hino-kun was sleeping here today.

My eyes alternated between the bed and his back as I blinked.

I completely forgot there was only one bed here. Or more like, I didn’t even think about it.

He came here because he didn’t have a place to sleep, so of course he would sleep here. I was so worried about drying his clothes so he wouldn’t get sick and dealing with the teacher’s sudden appearance that I didn’t even think about the sleeping situation.

I glanced over the room, but of course since it was a single room there was just one bed. There wasn’t anything like a sofa to sleep on either. And since this wasn’t a Japanese-style room, I couldn’t just say something like, “I’ll sleep in the closet!”

…On the floor next to the door?

If I slept close to the bed, then if Hino-kun needed to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night, I would be in his way.

The floor over here was my only option. I took out the extra towels and carefully rolled them one by one.

“What are you doing, Igarashi-san?”

“I’m making pillows. Oh, these are mine and you can get the ones on the bed.”

“……Huh?”

I explained in order to reassure him, but he looked at me like he couldn’t believe me.

“You can’t sleep on the floor, Igarashi-san. I’ll sleep on the floor. This is your room so you have to sleep on the bed. I couldn’t sleep if I let a girl sleep on the ground.”

“It’s okay. Even if I change my pillow or something else I can quickly fall asleep. And if you sleep on the ground and hurt yourself, it could get in the way of your work.”

“No, your body could break.”

Hino-kun grabbed my wrist that was making pillows. When I shook my head, he said, “Then let’s sleep together. On the same bed. We’ll split it.”

“Eh…..”

Sleeping on the floor… no, even sleeping in the bathtub would be much better for my heart. If I slept on the bed with him my heart might stop. The floor was much better. I didn’t care if I would be sore.

“That’s impossible. I’ll sleep on the ground.”

“Am I dirty?”

“E-eh!?”

Why was Hino-kun talking about being dirty? But his sad eyes seemed to be convinced.

“If you don’t want to enter the bed with me because I’m dirty then I’ll take another bath.”

“You’re not dirty! Not at all. You just got out of the bath so if course you’re clean.”

“Then do I smell?”

“T-that’s not what I’m trying to say. W-why are we talking about…”

“Because you don’t want to sleep in the same bed as me, Igarashi-san.”

“Ummm……”

Hino-kun stared straight at me… W-why were we having this meaningless argument…? Well, he was a kind person. But I feel like he says some pretty strange things when a certain switch is flipped…

“Then I’ll go in the bath.”

When I was worrying, he started heading to the bathroom. I quickly stopped him and shook my head.

“Y-you don’t have to. For now can you just give up on going into the bath?”

Earlier he said he felt hot. If he went into the bath like this, he could collapse.

“Then will you sleep? Together, with me?”

“Um… That’s…”

I looked away from Hino-kun’s serious gaze. But at the rate, he would go back into the bath… But I wanted to sleep on the floor…

When I hesitated, he began to head back to the bathroom again so I nodded vigorously.

“I-I got it. I got it so don’t go in the bath. You might faint.”

“Then let’s sleep together.”

I didn’t know how to respond to Hino-kun’s glare. When he gently told me to go to sleep, I took an internal deep breath and got in the bed.

“Alright, I’m turning off the lights.”

“O-okay.”

I nodded under the blankets and brought them up to my nose. Hino-kun switched off the room lamp close to him. I probably won’t be able to sleep today. My heart was beating so fast it hurt and I no longer felt tired.

Next to me, Hino-kun lifted the blanket and entered the bed. It was wide but still meant for just one person, so I could feel his heat right next to me.

Oh no. If I didn’t get away I might die.

I scooted away from him a little. I was at the edge of the bed. When I was far enough away I was nearly off the bed and into the night air, I felt him quickly grab my hand. I was so surprised that I couldn’t speak, but I could tell by the way he looked at me.

“Is it okay if I hold your hand? I always feel relieved when holding your hand so I wanted to hold your hand while sleeping. I feel like I’d be able to sleep well.”

Then I really wouldn’t be able to sleep.

Well, I already knew I wasn’t going to get any sleep, so if this would help him sleep calmly then it was fine.

I replied, “That’s fine,” while partially feeling like I gave up.

“Thanks.”

“It’s nothing.”

He held my hand and seemed to fall asleep quickly. His breathing began to fall into a rhythmatic pattern. He fell asleep fast. His deep breathes should have been calming, but because we were so close I could hear him loudly.

If I could hear a quiet sound like that clearly, there was a chance my racing heart was audible too.

I closed my eyes and began deep breathing to quiet my heart so I didn’t bother Hino-kun. But because he was so close, I kept forgetting how to breathe.

…Seriously, what was going on today? Even though I wanted to quit liking him, why was I suddenly sleeping in the same bed as him?

My chest hurt. I wanted to stop liking him.

If I could have given up my feelings for him, I would be able to sleep tonight. I wouldn’t have had to lie about liking someone I didn’t or go to a matchmaking shrine with that lie.

In the end, I forgot to investigate what would happen if two people who didn’t like each other went to that shrine…

I’ll look it up when I get up in the morning.

As I was mulling over my thoughts, the bed springs suddenly creaked.

Hino-kun must have moved. It didn’t seem like he turned over so maybe he went to the bathroom. I didn’t want to surprise him, so I kept my eyes closed. But for some reason, I could feel the sinking feeling of something on both sides of my waist.

…I could feel the heat of something that had to be a person.

Before I knew what was happening, the sinking feeling was next to both of my ears.

Could it be that when Hino-kun walked away, someone entered the room and got on top of me…?

But I didn’t hear the door open. Could it be a ghost or a physic phenomenon…?

Maybe something bad happened because I went to that shrine with one sided feelings…? In that case, Hino-kun didn’t know the danger. He could be in trouble.

I fearfully opened my eyes, slowly so my eyes could adjust to the dark, until the silhouette over me became visible. When I could finally see the face of that person, I was speechless.

“W-why, H-Hino-kun…?”

“Damn, you’re still awake. I knew I should have drugged you again.”

“Eh……?”

His voice was ice cold. To the point where he didn’t seem like Hino-kun. He looked the same, but he felt like a different person.

“W-what are you…?”

“…’What’?”

I nervously asked, but Hino-kun just snickered at me. After sighing, he closed the distance between us until our noses were nearly touching.

“Tell me, Igarashi-san. What am I lacking? You’ve listened to my every wish before now. You come to my house and make me dinner. You make me bentos every day. Could you really do that for someone you didn’t care about? Do you really not like me? What do I have to do? It doesn’t matter if it’s my face or personality, just tell me what you like so I can change it.”

But, I liked everything about you. At first it was just watching you eat, but now I like everything.

But I couldn’t say that or it would make him uncomfortable. He might be unable to eat after my huge betrayal.

“Why don’t you like me, Igarashi-san…?”

A drop of water fell on my cheek. It fell down my cheek due to gravity. I wasn’t crying right now. But the waterdrops came from Hino-kun above me.

“…How can I make you like me…? I can’t like anyone other than you. So it hurts so much… Help me… You’ve always listened to me before…”

“Hino-kun…”

“Hey, Igarashi-san, can you be with me forever? Choose me… It’s okay if you kill me in the end, as long as you like me…! That way I don’t have to break your heart… Please….!”

He clutched my chest. Even though the springs creaked hard from the momentum, his hands were shaking and his voice was hoarse from crying. It made me want to confess. But I couldn’t. I couldn’t like him. I couldn’t like him. But I did and if he knew I did–

…Huh? Wait. Did Hino-kun just say he couldn’t like anyone other than me?

Did he say he wanted me to like him?

“Hino-kun, by ‘like’, did you mean r-romantic… like?”

“Of course. Because of that, I–“

“I-I also l-like you… r-roman… tically…”

Puzzled, our eyes met. His eyes widened and he gripped my shoulders tightly. Perhaps it was from the movement, but tears fell from his eyes again and soaked my cheeks.

“I’ll stab you if you lie so look me in the eyes and answer my questions.”

“E–“

“Answer me.”

If I looked him in the eyes, then his tears could fall in mine. It wasn’t the worst thing, but… In any case, I nodded furiously and his eyes narrowed.

“Do you really like me, Igarashi-san?”

“Y-yes.”

“…Really?”

“R-really.”

“Then why did you act like you had someone else you liked before?”

“W-well, before you said that you hate it when people say they like you, so I thought if I acted like I liked someone, and it was someone other than you, than you wouldn’t find out about my feelings…”

“Then the person you like is me?”

“Y-yes.”

I answered his rapidly thrown questions with panic. What should I do? I wasn’t answering questions I shouldn’t be answering, was I…?

“Now is the time to deny it. If you don’t like me and you’re just saying it to save your life, then deny it. If you’re honest with me now, I won’t do anything to you today.”

His unblinking eyes widened as he brought his face close to mine.

“Da-, de-, um, I-I thought with what happened to you with the delivery service, and things about your parents and o-other things I couldn’t even imagine, if I said that I liked you, then you would be unable to eat and die…”

Our noses were touching when I said, “I like you, Hino-kun…!” in a pleading voice. Then he moved his face away from mine and muttered a stunned, “I see…”

“At that time, I meant that I hated everyone who likes me other than you. That’s how much I like you… Then did you like me since before that?”

“Yes…”

If Hino-kun hated everyone liking him other than me, that meant I was the exception…

So that meant he liked me since then… It was something that was hard to believe so it wasn’t really setting in. He caressed my cheek while I was stunned.

“…This is like a dream. …Is this a dream? If it is, then I’ll immediately lock you up when I wake up.”

“Y-yes?”

Wait, why would he lock me up? Isn’t that what bad people do when they kidnap someone as a hostage…?

“You like me, right, Igarashi-san?”

“Eh, um, yes.”

“Then can we register together when I turn eighteen?”

My eyes widened at his words. My brain couldn’t process what he was saying. Was he talking about marriage? After I graduated high school… I think it would be nice but I just found out he liked me and now marriage…?

But he looked sincerely surprised by my stunned reaction.

“Eh, were you the type to play around with someone with no intentions of marriage? Were you planning on dumping me in the end and going out with some other guy? You’re just gonna mess with me, break up with me, and then forget about me? Did you really think you were going to marry someone else, make them food and live together with them, and I would just be remembered as some model you dated in high school?”

That wasn’t it. Definitely not. But Hino-kun seemed pained, thinking it was the truth, so I shook my head.

“N-no! By ‘register’, did you mean m-marriage?”

“Yes. You would become a Hino or I would become an Igarashi. We’ll live together in happiness and never be apart inside the house or out. There are married couples who have children too. I don’t want kids if it’s going to be hard on you, but if you wanted kids I would raise them well in a safe environment. Cheating would be called adultery, and if you have an affair, you will be judged. It’s a bad thing. It’s a really bad thing, and you have to be punished for it. Along with the person who seduced you.”

“No, I wasn’t asking for the definition, I was, um… was this a proposal?”

“No way. When I propose, I’ll properly plan it and go to a special place. This is to prevent you from being taken… no, I mean… lately, there’s been cases of others registering people without their permission. Because of my profession, I’m scared of that happening to me. Isn’t that scary? So I wanted to register early. I can’t like anyone other than you so there’s no way I can marry someone else. Well, I would end up killing them. Since their blood is cursed, I would need to slay the whole family. Hey, wouldn’t you hate that? If you don’t marry me, I’ll become a murderer. Please, save me from that! Oh, that’s right. Before we move in together, I need to greet your parents. Are you nervous about that? Are you scared that they won’t want their daughter moving in with some guy they don’t know? Hey, they’d probably be surprised if I asked to marry you right away, so maybe I could greet them as your boyfriend first? I know they’re on a business trip so we can’t see them in person, but can’t we talk to them on a video call? Oh, right, are you free tomorrow afternoon? I’m free all day. Originally I was planning on taking you to my house and since I wouldn’t want to leave, I took the day off. So are you free, Igarashi-san? We’ll call them then and I can talk to your mom and dad from now on. I will properly greet them. Oh, let’s go back together tomorrow. To my house. I don’t have any filming tomorrow, and we’ll be back in the morning so I can go out and meet up with you. When we go back, I’ll meet you at… I believe the station where the school trip ends is in a station building, so on the third floor or thereabouts. Then we can take the taxi from underground back home. So? What do you think? What do you want to do, Igarashi-san? Are you tired? The top floor of the station building has a restaurant so did you want to eat there? There’s also a hotel nearby if you wanted to stay there? I have a lot of money. I got it from both my parents dying and my modeling job. And there’s no need to have the vendor rush to finish your confinement room. Half the room is a prison and of course the windows don’t open so I wouldn’t have to worry about you falling if you tried to escape. I live on the twenty-fifth floor so of course falling would kill you. Even with a cushion, it would be instant death. Just like that. So I won’t let you run away. Anywhere. Because we’re going to be together until death do us part.”

Hino-kun just kept talking on and on. Could he be as panicked as I was? It might have been my imagination, but he seemed almost ecstatic and I felt like this was the first time I was seeing him.

“Wait, wait a second, calm down, Hino-kun.”

“I can’t calm down.”

My mind went haywire when he hugged me tightly. His shirt was still unbuttoned– actually he seems to have taken off his shirt entirely at some point– and I could smell his shampoo from his clavicle region. I couldn’t calm down.

“I love you, Igarashi-san. I’ve always, always liked you. I was so so happy to meet you in April. I even thought about carrying you into an empty classroom. I had so many chances. Since you live alone, I could have posed as a delivery employee any time. It was irritating to see you surrounded by unimportant people anyways. You know, I think everyone other than you is garbage. No one other than you are even human. I really hate when I’m talking to or listening to anyone other than you. Or more like, I don’t want to breathe the same air as anyone other than you, Igarashi-san. Oh, I do treasure your mother and father. But if I’m being honest, everyone other than the two of us just gets in the way. I like you that much. I love you. You’re so cute, Igarashi-san. I love you, Igarashi-san. So marry me. I’ll make you happy, so why not choose me? If you don’t want to be alone at the end, shall we die together? You can strangle me to death. Hey, do you think you could properly kill me? …Aah~ this is like a dream. I’ve always liked you. You know, I’ll always, always, always love you to the point where if you rejected me I was going to kill you and then myself, but what about you? Do you regret liking me? Do you want out?”

“N-no. It’s okay. Um, in the meantime, let’s both try our best to live out our natural lives together, okay?”

“Okay. Thanks, Igarashi-san.”

Hino-kun’s expression returned back to normal. No, actually, he looked much happier than normal…

“Then let’s just sleep normally today. I do want to take things to the next step, but… Well, with my shooting, I’m glad my first kiss was with you even if it was forceful, but I do care about the proper order of these things.”

“Eh, kiss? S-shooting?”

“Yep. The incident in August. You probably thought it was an accident, Igarashi-san, but I did that on purpose. I wanted to kiss you. So I pulled your arm on purpose. Everything.”

“E-eh, w-wait.”

“But it’s fine. Because you like me. I might have messed up the order a bit, but if we keep doing things the order won’t matter.”

My head went haywire again. That huge incident was actually set up–? Then he–

“I love you, Igarashi-san. Let’s be together forever,” Hino-kun whispered with a low, hoarse voice and hugged me tightly as if he was tying me up. I wondered, um, if this was my wish or his wish or both of our wishes being granted? Which one?

I didn’t understand anything completely yet and this didn’t feel real. I had the feeling that this was something that couldn’t be taken back as well as the feeling that something ended and something else began.

“We’ll never be apart until the end.”

But Hino-kun was smiling brightly in front of me and I could make him meals forever, so although my mind was still haywire, I wrapped my arms around him.

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