A Round Trip To Love Volume 1 Chapter 25 111 Mar 09, 2020

" You're up? There are freshly brewed coffee, do you want some?"

Not quite fully awake, I peep through my half-opened eyes to gaze at the man looking down at me with a tray in his hand.

" Ah……………………." I jumped up, and pointed at him accusingly, " You, you, you……. how come it's you!!"

Shen Chao was taken aback by the sudden commotion and retreated a few steps to prevent an accident with the tray of food he was carrying: " I, I………… it was Qin Lang who asked me to come in and keep an eye on you………. hey, I did not do anything to you, stop imagining things…….."

" I'm, I'm naked!!' Asshole, he did not think of covering me up with something before letting other men come in………..

" How is that a problem? " Shen Chao was baffled, " I am also a man."

He was hopeless in terms of being further educated on this. I pulled up my pants hurriedly while that guy wore an innocent look on his face and stood there staring at me curiously, what the heck.

" Where's Qin Lang? " I will be sure to teach him a lesson when I see him.

" Oh he, he had an emergency at home and have to take off first, that's why he told me to take care of you……….."

" Oh……………" despite understanding his situation, it still felt rather dismal to wake up without the person you just made love to next to you.

" You are not going to have something to eat first?" Shen Chao had not given up on the tray of food.

" No thanks………" The color of the coffee looked a tad suspicious, and remembered that the boss' latest hobby was to experiment with 'innovative' dishes, "……….. I think I better get back."

I took a long shower to wash away the mess on me, looking in the mirror, I saw the ring hanging innocently on my chest.

I felt a deep pang of pain. Not daring to think twice, I quickly lowered my head to take it off, safely placed it in an exquisite looking box, not even trusting myself to take a second look at it.

Goodbye, Lu Feng.

I think, it is time for me to move on and try to love someone else.

While putting on a clean set of clothes and blowing my hair, I finally noticed the blinking lights on the old answering machine. There were a series of messages, all from Yi Chen.

" Brother, where have you gone? Why are you not home yet?"

" No one is picking up on your mobile, is it not with you? Call me back as soon as you receive my messages."

" Brother, are you still not home? I am Yi Chen! Where on earth are you? Return my call, it's getting late and I'm worried."

" Big brother, stop scaring me. Call me back call me back call me back!!!

I scrunched my hair a couple times to give it some texture, grabbed two bags of Danone cookies to coax him and promptly headed down the stairs. Yi Chen's place was only a stone's throw away, I might as well go and meet with him directly.

That careless fool left the door ajar, I was about to give it a push, when I heard the agitated voice of a man coming from within.

It was Qin Lang.

An unsettling feeling crept over me. Isn't their relationship………. cold? Didn't Qin Lang………. have an urgent matter to deal with at home? Why is he here?!

I held my breath, teetered nearer to the door, and peeped in through the gap.

" I had him in my arms for the whole night, and we did it all night………. my skills in bed must be good, Xiao Chen said that he is very happy………. Yi Chen are you pleased with me now, am I a good enough boyfriend to your brother?"

" You shut up! Shut up! "

" Why, am I still not doing good enough, Yi Chen? Or do you want me and Xiao Chen to carry on fucking today? Or do you think I should improve my prowess in bed?"

" I'm pleading with you, stop talking…….."

" Are you crying? Yi Chen?" That was indeed Qin Lang, his hands reaching out in an unimaginably tender way to stroke Yi Chen's hair: " You do mind don't you?"

" But did you know, for the whole night, I called out for you, for you, not him, Yi Chen………."

My whole body tensed.

What exactly…… are they……. talking about?

I do not understand………. I really do not understand.

There was a moment of silence. Yi Chen then raised his head sharply and shouted unrestrained: " Qin Lang are you a beast? Do you still fucking call yourself a human being? My brother is already this way, you still dare to treat him like that? You dare to treat him like that? He loves you so much, have you spared a thought about his feelings? You actually did such a thing to him. What do you treat him as?"

" I treat him as you, did I not make myself clear? When I am on top of him, all I can see in front of my eyes is you! " Qin Lang grabbed fiercely onto the hand which was about to smack him, and pressed him down onto the floor: " Cheng Yi Chen you listen carefully to me, I had enough! The person I love is you, from the beginning until now it has always been you and you alone! You only know to ask me whether I have considered your brother's feelings, have you ever considered my feelings? Yes! I admit that your brother is badly scarred emotionally and he is insecure. I do feel pity for him, but this is not what I owe him. That bastard with the last name Lu did not pay his debt why push this on to me? To protect the loving relationship you have with your brother, you had to fucking present me with two hands as a sacrificial offering? Or were you prepared for me to lie to your brother all his life to give him some false happiness with our sorrow being the price? I'm not playing anymore, Yi Chen I am telling you right now, everything ends here."

I, I still cannot understand.

The only thing I knew for sure was that I should not continue eavesdropping on this conversation anymore. I, I was just seeking my own humiliation……….

I do not think it is too late to back away now? They should not have noticed me……… I will sneak away quietly, and no one will ever know I heard all of that……….. and no one would feel awkward………..

I hastily turned myself around, and met Yi Chen's enlarged eyes straight on.

No, don't call for me, I am leaving right now……………..

" Brother…………"

Even Qin Lang turned his head to look at me in surprise.

" I………. I………." I backed away a few steps until I reached the stairwell, dumbly raising the biscuits in my hand, " Yi Chen……… these, these are for you…………."

" Brother, Qin Lang was talking nonsense earlier, he is still drunk, " Yi Chen was practically in fright as he rushed over to me enveloping me in a hug, " You don't listen to his nonsense, he will continue to treat you very well. " He gave a desperate look to Qin Lang: " You tell him, is that right? "

Qin Lang turned his head away avoiding him to look at me straight in the eye: " I'm sorry, Xiao Chen, everything I said was the truth, the one I love is your brother, and it has always been this way! "

I seemed to finally understand, it could not have been said more clearly: " I, I know now…………" I tried to escape from Yi Chen's suffocating hold.

Yi Chen held on tighter, and absolutely refused to let go: " Brother, listen to me……………"

I used all my strength to jostle and push him away, struggling recklessly, and as I finally freed myself, I also sent myself falling down the stairs.

Why do I always get myself in such an embarrassing state in front of him.

When I regained awareness, I have been laid down on the sofa and Yi Chen was twitching with sobs applying medication on the wound on my leg: " Brother, I am so sorry…………"

" Xiao Chen, if you don't mind, I want to tell you the truth about what happened. " Qin Lang's voice was still very gentle, he held my hand, I shrank back, but he gripped on tighter.

" I knew your brother way before I met you. I fell for him very early on too, but I am not gay, he is not either, we were both very confused……… When I fought off those guys at the bar for you, I thought you were him, I called you 'Yi Chen' the moment I saw you, were you not surprised? You should know that the pronunciation of your names are exactly the same, simply no way to distinguish apart. Moreover the lightings at the bar are so dark, and I never knew that Yi Chen had a brother who resembles him so much, so I naturally took you to be him. Since then every time I saw you I thought the same even though your personalities are so different. I too felt that it was very strange, but I never pondered too much, until that time in the car when we were intimate……… do you remember? Even though you were the one who took the initiative, but I liked Yi Chen so much, so incredibly much, I thought you were him, so how could I reject him. After that I got Yi Chen's address from his senior year sister, thinking of sending you home. I was on cloud nine the whole time, unbelievably excited to be in love, how would I have known, the person who opened the door was, was………." He paused, " I actually hugged the wrong person……….."

I was curled up on the sofa, my head tucked down, remaining motionless.

This is preposterous, what made me think that there was someone loving me with a true heart, or even think that there will be someone who would love me at all. When did I become so ridiculous as to have this delusion?

" I am truly sorry, Xiao Chen. I wanted to confess to you the moment I found out about the blunder, but Yi Chen told me about the history between you and Lu Feng, he was so afraid that you will get hurt again, and he did not allow me to say anything. When I asked you out, I planned to lay it all out on the table, but seeing your reactions, I could not bring myself to do that. So I ended up being with you. The person I liked is Yi Chen. I told you before, I am not the same as Lu Feng, we are completely not the same, because……. because I do not love you at all! "

" What happened last night, I admit that it is all my fault it is my own selfishness, at that time, I fully know that you are not Yi Chen, but I was in so much misery, Yi Chen had just rejected me again. Why do I have to keep enduring this torment? I pretended that you were him…………. calling out, for his name. Sorry, Xiao Chen. I know you will hate us, but this has nothing to do with Yi Chen. The person at fault is me, no matter how you blame me, I will accept it…………."

I slumped back into a ball, too ashamed to lift up my head. I do not blame them, there are nothing to blame.

I, I just……. never ever……… dare to again.