A Round Trip To Love Volume 1 Chapter 42 158 Apr 24, 2020

"Miss Lu." I croaked under my breath.

She stopped in her steps and looked at me bewildered. No doubt we have met in the office building before, but she naturally would not recognize an insignificant worker like me.

"I …… am Lu Feng's …… ex-classmate, I would like to ask if I may pay him a visit today."

She evaluated me briefly, and asked: "Cheng Yi Chen?"

I was so astonished that I backed away two steps, bowled over.

" It's you indeed."

Under her intense glare, I felt so embarrassed I was struck speechless.

"Why are you looking for him now?"

I can finally appreciate how awkward Lu Feng must have felt every time he came to my home to look to me.

"I only want to take a look at him ……"

"And leave immediately?"

I swallowed my emotions and nodded my head humbly.

"Sorry." She replied coldly, "It is better if you just leave now."

"I promise it will just be a glimpse, I am not asking for more, he is not awake yet, I will take a quick look and I will be off on my way, I promise I will not disturb him, Miss Lu ……"

"You got me wrong." She cut me off, "It has been so many years, yet Xiao Feng has not given up on you, he has suffered so much because of you, so either you stay with him, or you keep a good distance from him, the farther the better so he can never find you again, do you understand? Just take a look and leave? You might as well just kill him right now."

"Why are you shaking your head?" She laughs bitterly, "Do you know how silly he was, when we first arrived to the States, he wanted to escape every single day, and each time he got caught he would receive a severe beating from our dad. The marriage alliance, we were both vehemently objecting to it, but the moment he was told that he would be allowed back in the mainland if he goes through with it, he actually agreed without another word of protest. Marrying a complete stranger, and who do you think he did it for? This time is the same, he ………."

"Forget it." She pointed to a door, "To enter or not, I warn you to think carefully about it. Xiao Feng is lovelorn to a fault, if you don't feel the same, then do not give him a single scrap of hope, lest he does all these stupid things again that would only bring harm upon himself."

A hand on the doorknob, my head lowered and my eyes closed, bracing myself for a long time before pushing the door open.

He looks lifeless lying on the bed, seemingly in a very deep sleep, the only part of him below his neck that is exposed outside the sheets is a hand connected to a drip.

I stood by the side of the bed looking down at him while desperately getting ahold on my emotions.

Lu Feng.

His complexion deathly pale, his lips green, his eyes tightly shut like he is refusing to open them out of spite. As I rested my eyes on the greenish stubble forming under his chin, my thoughts drifted away to the night I saw him gazing helplessly at my window standing under the streetlights.

That whole patch of ground covered with cigarette butts.

At that time, I really believed, that you love me.

And I really hate you.

………. but I love you too.

Our paths have crossed twice in our lives, each time brushing shoulders with each other, but when it comes the time to seek the way that will lead us home, we would miss each other. Time and again.

I am sorry, Lu Feng. I do ……… I really do want to go home with you.

Even though we do not have a lifetime anymore, even though I am fearful that being with you will bring me more heartache and sorrow, even though we may never have a good ending, but …………

I bent over, carefully reaching out my arms to hug him lightly.

I do not know what our road will look like in the future, it could run very far, it could stretch very long, we may never reach our destination, or we may arrive at a place we never intended to go.