18 - Can't return

“There’s nothing that can’t be said.” Wu Fengrong said.

Zhou Yanling took his hand: “Then speak. I’ll listen.”

“How do you know I’m not deceiving you by fabricating some tale?”

“It would require quite a bit of effort to fabricate a tale. If you didn’t want to say anything, then you wouldn’t speak and wouldn’t have to tax your mind and body.”

Wu Fengrong was sucking on the chopsticks, chasing the aftertaste of sesame oil in his mouth. He remembered a courtyard bustling with noise and activity, and an electric-powered stainless steel door opening, like two dragons armored in silver lying in the mouth of the doorway. A snatch of a voice singing a song, the notes of an electric keyboard dripping like water, and that wasn’t all. This was just the first floor. There were red ceramic tiles fitted to the entrance of this fifteen story building, which was one of the ten tallest in the city. On top of the building was a fluorescent neon sign reading ‘Nancheng Newspaper’ in large characters, shining like a crown overhead, impressive and imposing. From early morning until late at night, the two dragons sang out incessantly. The whole night, the lights in the building never turned off. People busily rushed about, never stopping 1 . The many busy people were as numerous as the stars in the sky.

“Our family was one of the first assigned to the newspaper’s staff housing. As a child, I grew up in the courtyard of the Nancheng newspaper building. A lot of people in the South’s media industry know my family, and if you ask the current editors-in-chief in the South, they should still remember my father’s name. My dad had been a reporter for more than half his life, reporting on social news 2 . At the end of the 90’s, he wrote many well-known exposes, such as about child labor in factories, forced violent demolitions 3 , the smuggling and sale of antique and travel resources 4 …..all of which caused controversy. Ten years ago, the newspaper was in its heyday, daring to speak out. My father was a part of that. My mother was originally an intern he took out and married.” Wu Fengrong joked: “The media’s tradition of ‘bringing home an intern’ was also started in my father’s generation.”

“The two of them were very close. They had the same interests and their actions were often in harmony. The two were extraordinarily fun-loving and got scoops in these murky areas, but this wasn’t necessarily the best thing for a family. Those days in elementary school were marked with anxiety and fear as people everyday came to our door to threaten us, or someone would knock on our door at midnight, or I’d go out in the early morning and see graffiti on our sidewalk. They wouldn’t always be able to receive phone calls. I was never sure if they were undercover somewhere or if they were being commended for a heroic deed, let alone if they had returned home. I was lucky to see their faces an entire week.”

Wu Fengrong smiled: “Even though I was afraid, my parents told me that they had a great responsibility to change this world. Before, a journalist was able to shake the heavens with just a single article. Because my father had exposed the issue of child labor, a factory in the suburbs had to close. A lot of people wrote him letters of thanks and praise for his courage, sense of justice and forthrightness. He received a countless number of awards for it. There were banners of all sizes, trophies and certificates. Enough to fill an entire glass curio. It was almost as though he was a reincarnation of a Bodhisattva. I was very proud of him, too. My mother and father were amazing people, meant to save all of China from disaster.”

From the corner of his eye, Zhou Yanling caught a glimpse of the heroic golden badge, pinned to his chest, as big as a thumb, flowing with light and overwhelming color.

“When I entered college, misfortune finally befell us. In the first place, newspaper sales were declining and traditional news outlets were being squeezed by the new. In the second place, after several incidents, the systems in the South was being violently censured. By chance, that year the pharmaceutical reform had reached a critical point. My father spent an entire month investigating illegal drug trading and was injured. As a result, the manuscript was published the next day and that’s when misfortune came. The editor-in-chief called him in to talk, and that afternoon my dad was arrested. The Public Security Bureau went to the editorial office and arrested him right at his computer desk. My mom was really frightened. She called me and only said one sentence ‘stay in school and don’t return’. Then she hung up.”

“What crime did he commit?”

“He was arrested on the grounds that he accepted bribes, colluded with organized crime, and libelously framed people. The newspaper’s general office contacted me. I had gone to school outside. The deputy editor personally called me. He’d watched me grow up so we were very close, but he only told me that for a brief time, I shouldn’t return because doing so would be dangerous. As a result, for three years I never went home from university. Later, the deputy editor paid my tuition, and once he came to the school to see me for the Chinese New Year. But since I was still a student, he didn’t dare tell me much. He only said that my father had fallen into a pit dug by someone and that he was sure to be imprisoned. In the end, he was sentenced to six and a half years. My mom was sentenced to a year probation. The person who closed the case disappeared and couldn’t be found.”

In fact, Wu Fengrong hadn’t been very fond of his father, who had a selfish and unbridled personality and had no limits to what he would say. He would often call black white and white black 5 , and brag about how amazing he was all the time. He was like a child, immersed in a colorful world comprised of, not only his own dreams, but those of others. He had saved many people and made great changes, but his behavior was often despicable, drinking, dancing, and fooling around with women regardless of their positions. However, what Wu Fengrong saw, others hadn’t been able to see. As a child, Wu Fengrong didn’t understand what others saw in him. They had been so fond of him, that they’d cheered and chased after his popularity?

Thus, it came as no surprise that he ultimately grew to be conceited and brash. No one could really believe that he would accept a bribe or collude with crime syndicates, but no one came forward to stand up for him either. Wu Fengrong secretly cursed, aren’t you impressive? Can’t you summon the wind and call for the rain 6 ? Don’t you have a horde of fans? Before, you wanted fame and fortune, but what about after misfortune, ne? Pretty soon there would there be anyone sending greetings to your door?

The train fell silent. Wu Fengrong’s story had come to an end and he waited for Zhou Yanling to ask questions. However, Zhou Yanling didn’t speak. He thought to himself, it’s no wonder Wu Fengrong was so dispassionate 7 . He hadn’t experienced much familial affection. Both parents were occupied trying to save the world. What about their child? One day a hero suffered. The hero’s child suffered just as much. But Wu Fengrong had no choice in being the child of a hero and was forced to yield to others. Did anyone ever ask him what he’d wanted to do?

“Are you still in touch with your parents? You still can’t return?”

Wu Fengrong said: “After more than ten years, there should be no problem returning, but there’s nothing there. My mother called me once, but the conversation was awkward and both of us felt embarrassed. When my dad was released from prison, someone from the newspaper’s general office called me, but I didn’t return. He’s a very strong-minded person. If I went back to see him, he definitely wouldn’t be happy that I saw him brought low. After two years, I didn’t want to continue staying in the South,. When I found this opportunity, I switched and here I am. It’s very good.”

“You don’t have a good relationship with any relatives?”

“When my paternal grandmother was still around, we had a very good relationship. But there were many children at home and not all of them were cared for.”

Zhou Yanling had lost both parents in childhood. Unexpectedly, Wu Fengrong’s childhood was similar to his.

“I grew up in the welfare system. The two of us were ignored.” Zhou Yanling said.

Wu Fengrong righteously said: “No one has ever ignored me yet.”

“Does Zhou Xintao know these things about you?”

“He knows. When I first started working here, I was in an awful financial state. Every time I needed it, he gave me financial assistance. I was very grateful. It was because of his help that I was able to get to this place. That’s why, later, I recommended him to be the deputy conductor. I insisted on it to the bureau head to ensure that he got the position. I figured that I should repay the favor. What you said was correct. I don’t like to owe people, but there will inevitably be difficulties.”

“Then, I’ll have to try even harder. When I can get you to owe a favor, I can feel at ease.”

Wu Fengrong knew that he was trying to ease the mood so he was willing to laugh in response. The sunlight illuminating his face suddenly brightened, clear and crystalline like water, his face was covered with a brilliant brightness. His original pale waxen look was warming with returning blood, a faint pink color arising from underneath the golden veil. Of all the people that Zhou Yanling had met, Wu Fengrong was the one likely to laugh. When he laughed, he would pull his chin in as though he wanted to retreat but wouldn’t, yet his eyes would be fixed on the other person. He obviously felt embarrassed but also felt flattered.

It was rare for there to be so much sunlight and for many to enjoy it. In the northern plains, the UV rays were quite strong, so the sun would feel nice and warm. It wasn’t until the skin began to itch that they would realize that they’d already been sunburnt. Zhou Yanling moved sideways to block the sunshine. Wu Fengrong yawned lazily.

Zhou Yanling spoke gently: “Nevertheless, you enjoy this job now otherwise you probably wouldn’t have done it for so long. You’re a person who does what he wants, and won’t do anything you don’t like even if you can boast about them. In the future, when the two of us are together, I’m sure that I’ll have a lot of complaints that you’re not always with me. Not only would I have a lot of complaints, but your body’s health will also be very burdened. En……I’ll have to think about it.”

Wu Fengrong also joked: “I have a house that’s 200 square meters, and I can afford to buy a car. I’m a civil servant. You might want to think over that as well, ba.”

“How long will it take for you to repay the mortgage on that 200 square meter house? Twenty, thirty years. And are you’re really planning on living in the same house for your entire life?” Zhou Yanling said, indifferently: “Even if I sell insurance, I certainly know enough about how it works to not chose the first one. Still, there are other houses. Do you like villas with small detached gardens? Or how about a penthouse on the top floor of a highrise? There would even be a swimming pool and a gym that you could use. Also, there’s no need to buy a car. I have an Audi that I’ve never driven.”

Wu Fengrong was starting to become a little angry: “Who are you trying to fool? On your salary?”

Zhou Yanling affected a conciliatory attitude towards him: “In my younger years, I sued several factory owners for workers’ comp. They gave me a house as a part of it along with a car. After my seniority and rank increased, I started to be paid dividends off my stock so I’m not living only on my wage. Don’t think it’s unfair. At least half is from investments, all in the same industry. I don’t earn much from it.”

“What does that have to do with me? I don’t care about your house or your money.”

Wu Fengrong’s lip curled. He wasn’t ready to allow himself to speak out of anger, but ultimately he felt discouraged. The money earned as a civil servant certainly couldn’t compare to the amount earned in banking or finance, especially not as an entry-level civil servant. His wages and benefits couldn’t compare to Zhou Yanling’s. But a man measures himself by the yardstick of wages and job status. Saying anything would make him lose face. Wu Fengrong wanted to preserve his dignity and whoever didn’t give him face would be remembered in his heart. Zhou Yanling. A, Zhou Yanling, you had to stab me in the back? If you don’t remember whose territory you’re in now, then you’ll remember when you sue your granny for my help. I’ll see how pleased you are with yourself then!

T/N:

忙人们前脚踩着后脚 跟 : literally ‘stepping on the heels of the back foot’. Thank you to @barebones on the discord who helped me with this idiom, but we were unable to 100% accurately translate this. If anyone has any suggestions, let me know! Social news meaning here Forced demotions meaning here and here 旅游资源 : travel resources; but I translated it as antiques as well since I imagine that it’s difficult to smuggle landmarks. 黑 白颠倒 : basically meaning ‘confusing right and wrong’ or ‘standing facts on their head’ 很风光吗 : someone who is a mover and a shaker/can stir up trouble 烟火气 : literally ‘explosive’ or ‘firework’ gas but which also seems to mean ‘passionate’