Chapter 88

Translated by boilpoil Edited by boilpoil

After personally experiencing Chi Tang’s perspective and thoughts, Bai Lianhua feels complicated.

He extends his hand and pokes at the pond in the mirage. Even if he knows he won’t actually touch anything, but his mood actually improves upon seeing the projection of the pond produce ripples in response.

The system clears its throat and asks him the final question, “alright. Host, now is the time to decide how you want your memories back.”

Bai Lianhua looks at the system, waiting for a further explanation.

“You can choose to only keep your current memories of the past without unlocking the corresponding emotional fluctuations, maintaining a status quo , so to speak… Or, you can even decide to lock down and seal away all the memories of the worlds too.”

After a pause, it says, “also, you can of course choose to remember everything, and unlock all seals.”

The system scratches its head, “that I didn’t directly give you back all your memories was that you might have simply made the choice merely because you wanted to help Chi Tang through this crisis based on the companionship you had over the years without further thought… What is happening right now is that all other factors are blocked and you can truly ask yourself what is it that you most want at heart.”

——Do you think your raging emotions from all the previous worlds were worth keeping? Or, do you continue to refuse to be influenced by these emotions and only want to keep your calm and collected disposition at all times?

Bai Lianhua nods hesitantly. He understands what the choices will imply.

If he only keeps his memories as a white lotus, a supernatural cultivator, then he can return to how he has always interacted with the antagonist, Chi Tang, before… Yet if all the seals were unlocked, then the impact of the aggregate emotions from so many previous worlds would not be estimable, but he will certainly never return to being his unenlightened former self.

Everything will depend on whether he misses the emotions of the previous worlds… Bai Lianhua is even suspecting that the system may have done this deliberately, leaving a tiny gap behind every seal of his emotion so that he can’t easily let them go.

Still, after long deliberation, he still says quietly, “I choose to have all sealed emotions returned to me.”

Perhaps he was unwilling and only wanted an escape from such emotions at first, but now, he has realised that if it were the antagonist, then even if he had to open up his heart, it wouldn’t be as scary as he might have thought. Instead, he will get a most gentle, most caring reply. That feeling… is addictive.

True, the emotional fluctuations were sealed off by the system, but his memories clearly tell him that… both liking and being liked are wonderful experiences.

The system that was nervously waiting in silence immediately breathes a long sigh of relief. Its expression clears up, becoming bright and happy.

How should it put it, both the ‘antagonist’ and the host are the two most important people to it. One is its creator and the other is its designated master.

Or it wouldn’t have felt so conflicted doing missions earlier. It both hoped for the ‘antagonist’ to successfully capture the host but also felt like it shouldn’t just simply allow the host to be pushed along by the flow; it would feel proud at times when the antagonist decided to concede just because of some simple words by the host, but then it would also feel slightly disappointed when the host became wary of the antagonist. The two sides of its emotions fought and it’s so conflicted it would cry.

And most of all when the host had to make a choice just now, so that he is not affected, it couldn’t let a slither of this real emotion out. It must act unbiased when talking about all the choices——Something Chi Tang himself ordered it to obey at all costs personally. Just thinking about it makes it despise how hopeless Chi Tang is in this.

But now… it looks like both of its masters will be having a happy ending?

The system smiles as it unseals everything for Bai Lianhua… So, with everything restored, Bai Lianhua can feel the awakening of all the emotions related to all these worlds in his mind. Perhaps not all of them are love, but all of them are tugging at his heartstrings successfully.

Bai Lianhua immerses himself in this feeling as he tries to come to terms with his complicated feelings.

At the same time, a silhouette now highly familiar to Bai Lianhua replaces the mirage present and materialises in front of him.

Chi Tang.

The pond to which he owes his livelihood.

The guy is looking at him, smiling. Bai Lianhua is of course not at all unfamiliar with him now that his memories are back. Even his smile is nostalgic.

He is Wen Fu, he is Jian Yiguang, he is Meng Yanbai, he is Zhong Xiutang, he is Shi Cangyuan… In the system’s generated worlds, Chi Tang really had all his memories wiped and ‘reincarnated’ for generation after generation. Each of these ‘antagonists’ all emphasised parts of Chi Tang’s personality traits. What remained unchanged at all times though was that persistent obsessiveness that would never subside once formed… And the genuineness of his emotions and feelings.

Bai Lianhua is awash with all sorts of emotions. So it turns out all along he was the one being influenced. He might be trying to influence the antagonist in all his missions, at the same time Chi Tang himself tried to influence his feelings.

Hey, wait!

Bai Lianhua recalls something important, “if the antagonists are all representations of your own consciousness, so… Once, when you said you wanted to pluck the white lotus and keep it in a vase, that was serious?”

“And that even if I were to wilt, I could only wilt in your hands… I remember them super vividly!”

Bai Lianhua says as he shivers a bit.

Unlike before when he thought he was doing a mission and ‘pretending’ to be a blossoming white lotus for its pun with his own name so he only had temporary discomfort when the antagonists said all those weird things but could let them go quick, now when he knows that he is literally a white lotus, then those words are more and more terrifying the more he thinks about it.

Bai Lianhua looks at Chi Tang with this expression of discomfort, like a silent objection, “how could you think something like that?”

The unexpected question from Bai Lianhua makes Chi Tang pause before smiling gently, “mm, that is part of my inner demon projected onto the person formed from my consciousness… But don’t worry, before I’ve managed to keep it under wraps, and now it’s gone, so nothing of the sort will occur at all.”

This is something even Chi Tang himself didn’t expect. When Bai Lianhua made the choice just now, his inner demon completely disappeared, and the damage in his understanding of the Tao has vanished——Just knowing that Bai Lianhua recognised the value of the feelings he had in those worlds was already that satisfying for him, apparently.

“I can never bring myself to harm you even the slightest bit.”

Chi Tang’s gentle smile at Bai Lianhua makes him feel utterly defeated… Jeez, nobody could’ve imagined this is the guy who goes all bananas and then some in all the different worlds, could they? Appearances are deceiving.

Chi Tang pauses before continuing, “But I’m really glad… that your heart is still moved by me when I’m paranoid and possessive like that.”

Bai Lianhua’s mind full of disses got instantly wiped, so he can only sigh pretending he’s sad, “yeah, I really like you now, in the way that you wanted… Tell me, you would take responsibility for this.”

Before, he didn’t understand what emotions were on Chi Tang’s face when he looked at him, but now, he can clearly tell with a cursory glance and would even respond to them with his own facial expressions.

He winks, “if you tease me and bully me with this, I’ll be really, really sad.”

Chi Tang’s heart starts beating intensely like a drum. While cultivators all value calm and serenity, but right now that’s a really tall order——That white lotus who never understood romance and love have finally been coloured vividly so.

His tone grows more gravelly, “I will never let you down.”

Chi Tang takes a step forward like trying to approach and hug Bai Lianhua, but then stops like he is afraid he’ll scare him… A scene all too familiar to Bai Lianhua.

Being treated gently like a treasure, the usual formula, the familiar taste.

So Bai Lianhua smiles, “I know.”

He completes this embrace for him, and intimately caresses Chi Tang.

In any case, he, the white lotus, is fated to blossom in the pond named Chi Tang, and he’s never going to move away.

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