Volume 1 Chapter 3: Growing Up, Them

As the months passed, we moved on to higher education.

The petals of the cherry blossoms fluttered with the wind, and the new season welcomed our entrance to the school.

Anya, Sophie, Costas and I were able to enter the same famous preparatory school. All of us, except for Sophie, were able to enter the school as ‘special’ students. The school fees were free for us. It was a great act of filial piety. I couldn’t help but compare it to the salary that I had earned in my previous life.

Since I had the benefit of “Reincarnation”, it was only natural that I was given the right to be a ‘special student,’ but I think Anya and Costas were truly amazing for managing to earn that position with their own efforts.

“ I’m so glad I got in!”

“Good job, Sophie.”

“Thank you Costas.‘

Sophie breathed a sigh of relief as she walked through the school gates. She couldn’t drop the level of the school she wanted to go to because of her mother’s passion for education. Unfortunately, Sophie had missed out on the chance of getting a special scholarship, but it was still a great achievement to have been accepted into the school. Although they’re just distantly related, they are still related to my previous life. It seemed that my relationship with these two would continue on this time.

“I’ve got a lot of work to do! I’m going to catch up with you and beat you on the tests this time! Prepare yourself!”

Anya declared to me with great vigor with the falling cherry petals on her head. I couldn’t help but burst out laughing as I listened to her declaration that she had made a fresh start by becoming a student in high school, but for me it was no different from when she was little.

When Anya saw me, she pouted as if she was in a bad mood. I can’t help but burst out laughing again when I heard her declare that she’s not in a good mood.

“This will be the only time you can afford to laugh anymore…!”

Well that’s what she said. The cherry blossom petals were fluttering in the air, and everyone around me was wearing their brand new school uniforms. They were walking through the school gates with a bit of anticipation and a little bit of nervousness in their hearts. I felt like I had grown up one step further than before, and was excited about my new life, whilst basking in the beautiful sunshine of spring.

At that time, I was approached unexpectedly by some unknown person.

“Oh… Are you.. Zeke?”

I turned around and looked at the owner of the voice. It wasn’t a classmate from middle school, but he had still guessed my name right, so he probably didn’t have the wrong person. The person, who seemed to be a new student like me, looked at me with a surprised but happy smile.

Right… I remember this face. It has grown, but I definitely recall it in my memories.

“Could it be… Paris?”

“Oh! I’m so glad you remembered me! I’m so happy! Zeke!”

He approached me with great enthusiasm and placed his arm around my neck and squared his shoulder up with mine.

“Paris, you’ve grown up, huh? Look at you.”

“What are you, some old relative I haven’t seen in a while? You sound like an old man! Good to see you!”

“Leave me alone.”

Paris, always as happy as ever, laughed and laughed. I could only shrug my shoulders at that response.

“Are you an acquaintance of Zeke?”

“…………”

Sophie and Costas tilted their heads, a little surprised at the man who suddenly appeared and squared shoulders with me.

“Let me introduce you. This is Paris, who Anya and I went to school with when we were kids”

“Hi! My name is Paris and I like to play soccer. My preference is an older sexy lady. Nice to meet you!”

Paris made a peace sign and introduced himself which made Sophie’s mouth twitch slightly.

A friendly guy he is, Paris. He was the guy who became my friend on my first day at the cram school.

“I’m Costas. Nice to meet you.”

“Oh! Nice to meet you! I thought you’d distance yourself because of my personality. You’re really kind! I look forward to being with you!”

“Oh…”

Costas greeted Paris with the minimum of words necessary.

“M-My name is Sophie, and I was the class representative in middle school for 3 years. It’s nice to meet you Paris-kun”

“Whoa?! An honor student?! Neat! Nice to meet you!”

After greeting Sophie, Paris approached Anya. Paris had been in the same cram school as me, so of course he was familiar with Anya. Paris smiled at her as if he had met an old friend after a long time.

“It’s been a long time, Anya! How have you been? That frown on your face is so unique that I recognized you as Anya right away.”

“…………”

“Are you still hanging out with Zeke? You guys haven’t changed at all. I feel relieved.”

“…………”

Anya was stunned and kept her mouth shut. What’s going on here…?

“Hey…”

“Huh?”

Anya chattered in a mosquito-like voice.

“Who are you?”

Paris’ smile froze. My expression froze as well.

“See, you heard me, right? I’m Paris… The same Paris that went to cram school with you before? The one you spent 5 years with at that cram school.”

“I don’t know you.”

“…………”

Anya… Are you serious?

“S-See, Anya. Don’t you remember? Paris… The cheerful Paris that was in the same cram school as us.”

“Was there someone like that before?”

Anya said those few words in a boring and ruthless manner.

“Se-Seriously…”

Paris was shocked and fell to his knees on the ground. He was knocked down badly. Anya’s mental attack had pierced deep into Paris, breaking his heart.

“Y-You’re still the same as ever, Anya, you never change.”

“I don’t remember anyone being this weird in my life.”

“Oi, don’t do it. Don’t you do it, Anya”

It’s just too much now. Paris was on his knees just continuously writing the 8s on the ground. It’s been a while since they met but she was acting as if this was the first time Anya had ever met him. He had been her classmate for 5 years in cram school so she should at least have some childhood familiarity with him.

“About that… I’m sorry…”

I put my hand on Paris’ shoulder, which was getting smaller and smaller with the teasing.

“If you were in the same middle school as her, you should have disciplined her properly, Zeke.”

“I’m sorry.”

This girl doesn’t really listen to me though. I gave up on disciplining her early on in cram school.

Spring is a beautiful time of the year, and our first day of school began with a wry smile.

And so our life in high school began. As expected, the classes in high school were very difficult. The content of our studies became more and more advanced than before. I no longer had as much time to relax as I had in the past.

“Zeke! Zeke! Today’s quiz is a contest! Don’t run away!”

“How am I supposed to run away from a quiz in the middle of class…?”

In spite of all of this, Anya still came at me as often as she did in elementary and middle school. Even though she’s now a student in senior high school, she hadnever wavered or changed at all since we first met. Her eyes are still sparkling as bright as ever.

“Don’t be surprised to see me in a different light now that I’m a high school student!”

“No, you haven’t changed at all, have you?”

“That’s not true!”

“So tell me what’s changed about you then.”

“………………Let’s play! Zeke!”

I turned my head with a wry smile at how innocent she was.

In about three months, she would also be known as the “Ice Queen”. Sophie, who knew Anya well, and her classmates from middle school could only laugh at that.

In nine months, it occurred.

It was an incident that people around me didn’t think much of. But it was still a big, incident between Anya and me.

For me in particular, I think this was a turning point or should I say a fork in the road.

“Huh….?”

Anya rolled her eyes and looked at the rankings for the third semester’s midterm exams, which were prominently displayed in front of the elevator. She blinked her eyes repeatedly, staring at the rankings of those who had performed well on the test. She rubbed her own eyes once more and then looked again.

‘Zeke, First Place, 790 Points

Anya, First Place, 790 Points’

That’s what was written on the rankings list.

Her cheeks flushed and her eyes sparkled.

“ZEKE!”

She ran to me at once and looked up at me with a big smile on her face. It was as if joy was gushing out of her body like steam on a hot drink.

“ZEKE!”

She called up to me again up close. I don’t think it really meant anything, but I think she was just happy in this situation.

“I’m finally catching up to you! The first time! The first time! The first time! This is the first time we’ve ever lined up together!”

She seemed so happy and she kept repeating the words ‘first time’ over and over again. When we were in primary school, we often scored 100 points together. But she was never satisfied with that. For her, both 100s were a sign of unmeasurable failure, a malfunction of the testing equipment. It was just a draw between us. And it was a draw that she was very happy about.

So this was actually the first time we had ever tied for anything other than a perfect score, and she was just so happy about it.

“We lined up! We lined up! All I have to do now is pass you! I’m going to win! I’ve lined up! I’VE FINALLY LINED UP WITH ZEKE!”

She looked happy, really happy. Her eyes sparkled like jewels, so much so that it made me happy just by looking at her.

“Prepare yourself!”

That’s what she said and smiled. She was laughing with such hope in her heart, as if the future were made of jewels.

……But, Anya. It’s been nine years, nine long years.

It’s been almost 9 years since we’ve started competing with each other.

The cracks are starting to show, Anya.

It wouldn’t take long before the cracks started growing even further.

“I won! …I won! I won! I won! I won! I won!”

‘ Anya, First Place, 795 Points

Zeke, Second Place, 791 Points ’

On the midterm exam of the second semester of my second year, I lost to Anya for the first time. It was the first time in my life that I had ever lost in a competition of test scores against her.

At first, when Anya saw the ranking list, she was blown away. Rather than seeing something incredible, she just didn’t know what was going on at all and her mind went completely blank. She just looked up in a daze, opened her mouth, and rolled her eyes while her mind went into outer space.

Was it about 5 minutes? She finally regained consciousness, understood what she saw and began exploding in joy.

“ I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it! I did it!!!!!! ”

She jumped up and down, her face bright red, her whole body expressing her joy in a way that was completely unlike her nickname, the “Ice Queen.”

“I did it! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! ”

It was beautiful.

I couldn’t help but stare at her silently.

She giggled, “What’s wrong?”

I turned my face away from her, embarrassed. Is my face turning red? I would be happy if the red of the flames would illuminate my face and deceive her. I thought.

She was growing.

Anya was growing up. Step by step, day by day, she’s becoming an adult little by little. It’s not only about her physical growth, but also her mental growth. Anya had just asked me to dance with her. It would have been an uncomfortable move coming from her in the past.

In the past, she had a tendency to treat things that didn’t interest her with indifference and to coldly dismiss people that she didn’t care about at all. She was the kind of girl who just stayed in her own shell, kept people away, and looked down on others quietly.

She was a girl with a sense of insecurity.

How about now? Now she’s friends with Sophie and Costas, she talks a little with Paris and has a couple of other female friends with her too.

And now she’s also interested in dancing and has invited me to join her in it. Her world is expanding little by little. Anya is not the only one who’s growing up. Sophie and Costas are also growing up. When I met Paris again, he looked different. All my friends are growing up.

I’m the only one who hasn’t changed.

I was the only one who hadn’t moved on. The gap was closing. Relatively speaking, I am becoming less of an adult with every day I live on. Everyone is looking up and growing up right.

Anya is expanding her world. She is slowly becoming an adult. Maybe she’s not a child I have to take care of anymore. Maybe the time when I have to worry about her is over, and the day has come for her to spread her wings into her own world.

Maybe the day will come soon when I will no longer be needed by her.

I thought that as I touched her skin and danced with her.

“Hey, Zeke…”

“Hmm?”

As we danced, Anya spoke to me.

“You’ll always support me right?”

She murmured with a faint smile and a smirk.

“…………”

I smiled trying my best not to look lonely at that sight.

As I danced with her, I was thinking something completely different than what she was thinking in her mind.

The hot flames of the campfire rose high in the sky and wavered, brightly seeming to be swallowed up by the dark sky above us.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Our days of competition were still going on.

The first time she defeated me in the midterm exam of the second year of high school, Anya was just so happy. After that day of defeat, Anya and I started to win and lose against each other again and again.

I was the overall winner of my second year of high school.

But in the third year of highschool my odds of winning was 50%…no, she was slightly better than me. I’m sure she’ll tell me the truth if I ask her about it since she keeps very meticulous records of it, but I’m too embarrassed to ask

From that time on, she began to study very joyfully. Up until now, she had been studying like a demon, working hard and training with the goal of defeating me, but after a series of close calls with me and not knowing who would win, she seemed to be enjoying learning.

One new discovery brought a smile to my face.

Strangely enough, my academic performance began to improve more steadily than when I had been studying like a demon.

“Are you having fun?”

I asked.

“You understand how I feel?”

“Yeah, we’ve known each other for a long time.”

“It’s been over ten years. Oh, that’s a long time. I’m in trouble.”

That’s right, this relationship is still ongoing.

Even now, when our academic abilities are so close to each other, we are still having study sessions together. I once said to her, “Is there any point in doing this anymore?”

“Zeke’s teaching style is much easier to understand than our teacher’s.”

When she told me that, I couldn’t just say that I would stop the study group.

“Yeah… It’s been a while.”

As I stared up at the ceiling of her room, I remembered how far I had come. Elementary school, middle school, and then high school. No, much more. It was even longer than that.

I was thinking back to my previous life. I have been thinking back to my previous life a lot lately.

“Oi, Why did you use the past tense for ‘It’s been so long’ we got in the same university together. So our relationship will go on and on.”

“Ah, yeah, we did.”

Our first choice of university is the best university in the country. The results of our mock exams are A, so we will probably enter the same university together.

But that’s all it’ll be.

The cracks are getting bigger and bigger, and I’m about to reach a point where I won’t be able to fix them. No, this was a ticking time bomb that could never be fixed anymore.

We’re going to be going to the same university together.

But the time when we part from each other is not far off anymore.

“Hey Zeke, what’s up?”

When Anya called out to me, I jolted.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I was just a little spaced out. It’s nothing.”

“Lies…”

She saw through me immediately.

“Hey, can I ask you something?”

“W-What?”

“Zeke’s secret”

I was thrown for a loop. In an instant, my heart shook and I shuddered.

“Lately, you have been thinking a lot about something. You’ve been thinking about something a lot lately, and you’re having trouble with it. At first, I thought it was just a needless worry. I also thought that maybe you were worried about me catching up with you in your studies. But it’s not. I know that because we’ve known each other for a long time”

“─────”

“I thought it was a secret. It’s something that everyone has, so it doesn’t really bother me. But what Zeke has is a little different. It’s a little different from the secrets everyone has….”.

The room was quiet. There was not a single sound except for her words.

It became so quiet I could hear the sound of my heart beating hard.

“I didn’t notice it until recently. We’ve known each other this long and I finally realized it for the first time. Zeke has been hiding things for a long, long time. Ever since the first time we met. For a long, long time, you have been troubled with something I don’t know about.”

I couldn’t do anything but stare in amazement. My secret, which I had never told anyone, was slowly showing through in her eyes. Anya hugged her knees, half hiding her face, and looked up at me as if she were peering into my eyes.

“Hey, is it something you can’t tell me about?”

“…………”

“…………”

“…………”

A long silence descended. The only sound I could barely hear was the sound of me gulping and spitting.

“I can’t tell you about it.”

That was all I could say.

“Alright…‘

A hint of disappointment crossed her face.

“I want you to wait a few more years…… Just a few more years.”

“Eh?‘

“I’ll tell you everything then.”

When I said that, Anya nodded several times. I leaned back and looked up. The ceiling of her room had already become a familiar sight.

A few more years. A few more years and all will come to light. It had become a familiar sight.

That’s when it ends.

It’s time for everything to fall apart and for her to finally be disappointed in me.

Anya, do you know what’s been happening? I’ve been cheating for a long time.

To tell you the truth, I’ve been studying for higher education and university entrance exams since I was in middle school. I started to see the cracks in middle school, and I got scared of losing more and more, so I began studying for it ahead of time.

But, you’re still catching up with me in the end.

And after all this time, I’m finally about to get overtaken by you.

That’s who I truly am……

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

“ ”

The sound of cries echoed throughout the classroom.

“I got in, I’m so gladddddddddd~~~”

Sophie was crying out loud, tears and snot dripping down her face in a powerful stream. They were not sad tears, no. They were happy tears.

Today was the day that the examination scores were announced.

“Here, wipe your tears, I’ll give you a handkerchief.”

“But… My snot…‘

“You don’t have to return that handkerchief back to me.”

With a whoosh, Anya’s handkerchief was stained with the fruits of Sophie’s efforts and excitement.

“It’s unusual for Anya to take care of people…”

“That’s because Sophie is someone close to me.”

Costas and I were amazed at what we saw. I was more impressed by the way Anya had grown up, taking care of Sophie at this moment.

“Anyway, congratulations on passing, guys.”

“Congratulations!”

The four of us here have successfully been accepted into the schools of our choice. Me, Anya, Sophie, and Costas were accepted into the most difficult university in the country.

Sophie was crying profusely. I, Anya, and Costas had been rather relaxed, but Sophie was desperate and frantic. The way she looked now was an eloquent testament to that desperation. Because of her mother’s policy, Sophie was only allowed to apply to the most difficult universities. That’s why Sophie’s desperation was even greater than others. I sometimes thought she had a terrible mother.

We were now free from exams. We brought snacks, rented a room in the multi-purpose room, and had a small party after school. Sophie smiled happily as she imagined her college life. Anya was chewing on a lot of sweets, saying a little offhandedly that everything present should just come to her. Costas calmly looked up information about the university and passed it on to everyone.

They were all fantasizing about a future that they did not yet know about.

I’m the only one who knows. I know of its freedom, its joy, its pain and its difficulty.

I was the only one who knew about college life over here.

I grabbed my bag and went to the vending machine to buy some canned juice for everyone.

That’s where we met.

“Ah…………”

“…………”

“…………”

“Yo…”

I ran into Paris by chance. The air was awkward, but he paused for a moment and greeted me as if it was nothing.

We were applying to the same university together, but-

─ Paris had failed.

“Congratulations on getting in, that’s awesome Zeke.”

“Thank you.”

Paris congratulated me. It must have been hard for him currently.

“…………”

“…………”

“Ahh….”

Paris scratched his head. The four of us had passed but Paris had failed. The awkward atmosphere would continue flowing in no matter what.

“Sorry, I can’t say anything witty at a time like this.”

“You have nothing to apologize for…”

Paris let out a small laugh.

I know exactly how Paris feels. I failed almost all of my exams in my previous life, failed almost all of my first year exams, did a re-entry exam, didn’t get my first choice, and went to my second choice university. I felt sadness as if I had been denied myself, helpless regret that I hadn’t tried hard enough, and I could truly feel the contrast between the joy of those around me and my own sadness.

I know. I feel it. I can understand Paris’s pain.

I won’t make the mistake of saying I know how he feels, since I got in this time. From his perspective, I’m a person who got in without knowing any setbacks my whole life. In his eyes, I’m a person who doesn’t understand how he feels, I’m a person who understand how he feels.

“Are you going for a reexamination?”

“Nah, I think I’ll go to my second choice instead.”

“Is that so, I think that’s good.”

“Thanks, man.”

It’s also the right path for him. I also went to my second choice in my previous life, and I had a fulfilling college life.

But I couldn’t tell him that.

“That college was too hard for me.”

“That’s not true.”

“Ha, Thanks…”

I bought a coffee for him as well and gave it to him. He smiled helplessly. Indeed, his chances of getting accepted were low. He was a little short of the requirement and was more likely to fail. Paris had also predicted this outcome in the end.

“Aaaaah! Stop, stop, stop!”

Paris shouted loudly.

“I don’t belong in the dark! I’m going out to eat! I’m going to go to an all-you-can-eat barbecue party with the other fallen guys!”

“…………”

Paris smiled. He was so strong.

“I’ll see you later. Congrats on passing Zeke!”

“…………”

With that, he turned his back to me and started walking. I looked at his back, which is much bigger than it was when I was in study hall.

I didn’t get there in my first life. I studied hard and went through a lot of hardships to take the entrance exam, but I could not possibly have the academic ability to challenge the most difficult universities in the country.

But Paris took the challenge. For the first time in his life, he took on the most difficult challenge without cheating in any way. It’s not something just anyone can do. It’s not for everyone to be able to challenge themselves there.

“Paris!”

I called out to his back. His feet stopped.

“You did great!”

“…………”

I was watching. I watched him suffer and study. I even taught him how to study sometimes. Paris was always trying so hard.

He was doing his best.

“Good job!”

“…………”

“You did great…”

I condensed the words I wanted to say and presented them to him. He turned to me and smiled.

“Thanks, man.”

“…………”

He was laughing. What a strong man.

“I know we’re going to different colleges, but I hope you’ll still invite me to hang out with you again.”

“Of course.”

“Let’s hang out again sometime!”

With that, he left.

Thus ended our examinations.

Anya and I had no trouble getting a ticket to the highest and most difficult school in the country. In the self-assessment of the entrance exam, I scored higher than Anya. Anya, who was also very enthusiastic about competing, seemed to be quite disappointed at that.

I looked at it and smiled.

This was my final act of determination.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

I had a dream.

It’s a dream about the heavy snow.

It was a dream of the special heavy snow, the day I had died in my previous life.

I was in a white room, looking out the window at the heavy snowfall.

The whole area was white. It was no longer just a snowflake, but a cluster of snowflakes, falling incessantly from top to bottom.

It was the heaviest snowfall ever recorded. I was envious of this snow.

I was envious of the term 'special”.

In my previous life, I had never been able to get out of the realm of mediocrity, and no matter how far I thought back, I had never been able to deviate from my ordinary life.

We cry, we laugh, we get angry, we get in trouble, we try hard, we invent and we strive to live for a better life.

Life is hard, and even if you use 120% of your strength, it will not let you walk through that path easily. The hardships of life are so high that sometimes you just have to cry, stomp on the ground, scream about how unfair and unreasonable it is, and tear your body to pieces. But somehow you can still manage to overcome them.

And that’s what I call a mediocre life.

In my previous life, I was an ordinary person, and what I went through was nothing more than an ordinary life. There was happiness, there was suffering, there was no more, and there was a tattered life, that was the ordinary life I led.

I was yearning to be ‘special.’

I longed for something ‘special’ like this heavy snowfall outside my room.

And then I ‘reincarnated.’

So, how was I this time around?

I wonder if I’ve become someone ‘special.’

Indeed, almost all of my grades in school were at the number one spot, and I was able to get into the most difficult university with little ease.

‘Special.’ In the eyes of any other person, I would be termed as someone ‘Special.’

But guess what.

I wonder how I would compare to this heavy snowfall.

I wonder if I have the power to change the world at all. Do I have even a fraction of the power of this heavy snow?

I wonder if I could have been the heavy snowfall that I envied so long.

There’s no way I could be such a thing……

My nature had not changed at all since my previous life. This window pane did not become a mirror, and my image did not turn into heavy snow.

It’s easy to see what the cracks in my life are.

That just means that I wasn’t good enough for Anya.

TLN: Boy I’m back, Anyways this chapter took me 2 days of ACTUALLY WORKING HARD and my editors just shredded it in like 5 hours so I’m going to cry in a corner after this. Thank you Spynine01 and Samheart564 for editing this. I post sneak peeks here and there in the discord so join and say Hi if your interested. I promise the next reckless chapter would be sooner. If you see and possible mistranslation or type feel free to leave it in the comments or join the discord. Here’s my Ko-fi if you’d like to support me since I worked so hard. Aight Imma go cry in my corner now! Obligatory discord plug.