Chapter 20

396

My temperature had risen again by the time afternoon came. As such, I was a little downbeat when filming.

Jiang Ran seemed to sense something of it, approaching the director of his own accord and requesting for filming to be stopped early again.

Naturally, the director agreed, even advising me to rest more and quickly get better.

Mama, there is true love in the world, there really is.

Jiang Ran, what kind of saint are you exactly?

I must make sure to return you this kindness.

[blows nose]

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Once back to the hotel, I shut myself in the room at the speed of light, starting to work on the edits of Jiang Ran coughing up blood.

I am a man of my word. Proudly puffs up my cockerel chest.

398

I opened up my browser and searched for Jiang Ran’s filmography. After all, as a professionally trained granny of parody mashups, once falling down this rabbit hole, the scenery changed.

Hehe, guess what treasures I found—

A pitiful little extra that 17-year-old Jiang Ran had acted in at his debut~

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And so, a few hours later, I opened the doors to a whole new world.

I struck gold.

400

Little Buddy Jiang Ran, you’re practically the king of wrapping up the shoot—a walking blood bag… wait, no—a walking dogblood bag.

In a school drama, after getting his heart broken from a failed confession to the female lead as the cannon fodder sidekick, he got hit by truck-kun; coughed up blood, died.

In a cultivation drama, after his shifu used him to block a lightning strike for his shixiong, he got electrocuted on the spot; coughed up blood, died.

For the sake of pushing the development of the plot, when walking on the road home after school, he would even get stabbed a few times by thugs, pour a river of blood, greet his inevitable death…

And thus, 17-year-old Jiang Ran, for the umpteenth time, expressionlessly collapsed in a pool of blood.

Hahahaha, Jiang Ran, do you know how many times you’ve died?

No worries, let me count it for you today.

401

After forging on for several hours, I snipped out all of Jiang Ran’s battle wounds.

I’ve always been doing parody mashups, but the feeling of doing something proper on the off-chance doesn’t feel half-bad either.

Hehe, is there anything under the heavens that Mo Shuyao can’t do?

I must let those bastard Jiang Ran fans who keep bathing my account in blood see this; who exactly is the one losing out here.

So I logged into my new Weibo account, sharing the video and carefully drafting the caption.

Mo Shuyao A’Yao: The immersiveness of Film Emperor Jiang when coughing up blood today is off the charts~ Went back to meticulously study the craft of this seasoned actor and compiled a little clip. Can you feel my sincerity? [starry-eyed] [vid]

Purlease. I, Mo Shuyao, am the broken platform’s number 1 bro. For me to have personally cut a video for Jiang Ran, my sincerity is practically bursting through the roof to the heavens already.

402

Soon, people started replying to the Weibo post. I didn’t even need to open it to know that they have come to blow rainbowfart praises at me.

I clicked into the video to admire and savour it once more.

Ah~ what godly heaven-and-earth-quaking editing technique I have~

Look.

17-year-old lil’ Jiang fell in a pool of blood. That little face was flushed, and the faint light in his eyes flickered. His tears dripped down, his slim lips parted, coughing up blood. Even through the screen, I could smell the dense fragrance of my mama’s milk.

That pained expression, that reluctant gaze…

I couldn’t even hold myself back from going up to cradle my screen as I admired it, my heart brimming with fatherly love.

Ahhh, what a cute little puppy!

How did I cut him out so nicely!

I can totally fall for this type of puppy!

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Wait. Mo Shuyao. What did you just say?

My laptop noisily clattered to the floor. I gazed at the wall and reflected deeply.

Why do I keep having such dangerous thoughts these days?

Gooseflesh suddenly broke out on my back.

It can’t be that Jiang Ran has turned me…

404

Not Found.

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Similarly, my mind was like a lost server connection.

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After a few seconds of serious contemplation, I came to the conclusion that it must be because dogs are man’s best friends, so I’ve a greater sensitivity towards such dog-attribute dramas.

It must be for this reason, and nothing to do with anything else. [confident face]

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I picked that pitiful computer back up, glaring at lil’ Jiang Ran on the screen for a long time. After affirming that I didn’t get any strange reactions, I set my mind at ease.

There’s no way that I can fall for Jiang Ran.

Absolutely, no, way!

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Terrible. It’s all Jiang Ran’s fault for growing such a good-looking face.

I’ll immediately, at once, rightaway turn you into a parody mashup. We’ll see if you can still dupe me then!

409

I went through my photo library to find a troll face, using it to block off Jiang Ran’s face. And immediately, a breath of fresh air. I felt like my eyes and ears and pores were cleansed.

Thereupon, I started to bury my head into turning Jiang • biggest trollface in the world • Ran into a rainbowfart compilation.

Heh, at the end of the day, this still suits me best.

410

Right as I was completely on task, my phone rang. I glanced over. It was my agent.

I swiped to accept the call and straight-up heard him roar at me, “Mo Shuyao, why did you post a Weibo without running it by me first?!”

I gave a start.

The next second, my agent continued to shout at me, “Goddamnit! You’re a filmmaking graduate, I worried about you for nothing, you can just create your own celebrity image!”

“……” I don’t get what you’re on about, but it sounds important anyway.

“What you just did was way beautifully done! The fanboy image is the best shield for a newcomer like you. Hurry up and check out your Weibo, you’ve already gained several hundreds of thousands of new fans! Jiang Ran’s fans are all climbing over the wall into your garden!”

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That video of mine had already amassed several hundred thousand likes, all from fans that had climbed over the wall from Jiang Ran’s side:

> Sobbing, Teacher Mo, our Film Emperor Jiang didn’t misjudge you. You’re too versatile!

> Teacher Mo, begging you to cut such videos for us everyday. Jiang Ran acting in fight scenes, Jiang Ran acting in emotional scenes, I want the full array!

Me, “……”

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Was fanservice really this easy?

All I had to do was to spend a few hours cutting videos and I managed to clear up my good name??

I stared at my computer in meditative silence.

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Suddenly, my phone screen lit up.

I picked it up and took a look.

Jiang Ran: [Thank you.]

Shortly after, he sent another message: [I’ve received your well wishes. Rest earlier, you’re still sick, don’t overtax yourself.]

Me, “?!”

Again, Jiang Ran: [Goodnight.]

414

Crap, I’m screwed.

After cutting this video, Jiang Ran wouldn’t have mistakenly assumed that I like him and start to brazenly gay me in broad daylight from here on out, right??

AHHH, how do I clear this up!