Chapter 4

We were guided to a sunny balcony to change the setting. I asked if I could lie down and rest, but I was told that I had improved a lot and it would be fine. Indeed, from my appearance, it was clear that I had improved significantly, so I followed the invitation and sat down next to Sadias.

Since I had already revealed my identity, it seemed silly to hide my face, so I decided to take off the annoying veil. With nothing obstructing my view, I let out a sigh. I smoothed my tangled hair and looked up, only to meet Sadias's eyes, which had turned red for some reason.

"Lord Sadias?"

"Ah, sorry. You're just so beautiful, I couldn't help it."

I thought he was just flattering me, but the way he said it with genuine admiration made me flustered. Since Orvia is often by his side, I might never have been complimented so directly on my appearance before.

"Ah, thank you."

If Sadias were to rest properly and gain some weight, he would surely be a handsome man that would catch anyone's eye. I wondered if it was difficult for a duke to see the royal healers. Thinking about it, Orvia's recovery seemed nothing short of a miracle.

Mint tea was poured into a glass cup. A few blue mint leaves were added to the lightly colored tea as a final touch.

"Do you usually like mint tea?"

"There was a time when my family tried various herbal teas, and I drank them then."

My parents were into herbs and medicinal plants from the eastern countries, thinking they might be good for Orvia's health. For some reason, not just Orvia, but everyone in the family ended up drinking the same tea, though everyone except me quickly gave up. The medicinal teas were indeed strong and not to everyone's taste, but I liked herbal teas, especially mint tea. The refreshing scent cleared my nose and calmed my frazzled nerves.

"Mint tea also has the effect of regulating the digestive system."

"Really? That's good to know."

Sadias nodded in interest and took a sip from the cup. He made a slightly bitter face.

"I don't hate it."

"Please don't force yourself."

"I'll at least drink one cup. You might already know, but I was born with a weak stomach, and eating people's negative emotions makes me feel ill."

"Negative emotions like hatred?"

"Yes."

Despite the shocking nature of his words, he nodded as if it were nothing.

"So, you've been forcing yourself to eat them all this time?"

"It's my job."

"How...?"

No matter how much it was his job, it seemed wrong to damage his health to such an extent. At that moment, I remembered that I had come here to have him eat my hatred.

"I'm sorry, I..."

"There's no need to apologize. If anything, I should be the one to apologize."

"Why?"

"You had the courage to come here, didn't you?"

Sadias's voice was so gentle that I was momentarily speechless. I had never been comforted like this before.

"...It wasn't courage. I'm weak, and I just wanted to feel better."

"You must have been going through something so painful that you wanted to run away."

"No, no. I shouldn't hate my family. No one intended to hurt me; I was just hurting myself. I wanted to erase it. And there are surely many people who are suffering more than I am..."

"Your pain is yours alone."

"Mine alone..."

"Other people's pain is theirs alone. Can you really decide and compare it? Does that mean those with less pain have no right to say they are suffering?"

I felt as if he had hit a sore spot, and I fell silent. At the same time, my eyes began to sting.

Why am I on the verge of tears? I shouldn't be such a weak person, just because I was given a kind word.

"I may sound preachy, but I just don't want you to belittle yourself."

"...Lord Sadias, you seem to belittle yourself as well."

"That hurts."

He laughed gently and leaned back in his chair, looking at me with a calm gaze.

"Maybe because we both don't take care of ourselves, we can speak freely."

"Does that mean... friends?"

"Then, as a friend."

"Hmm."

"I am a fake glutton duke."

He said it in a low, almost whispering voice.

"The real glutton duke was my father. He passed away two years ago. I inherited the family's ability to eat emotions, but unlike my father, I have a weak stomach."

"Do you digest emotions in your stomach?"

"Pretty much like regular food. I can taste and smell them. Eating something rotten makes me feel ill."

"Yet you still have to eat them."

"Yes. Our ancestors made a contract with the country. They say our ancestors were monsters, but that's hard to believe."

But there must be people who believe it. Otherwise, they wouldn't fear the duke and call him a glutton.

"My father could handle regular food better, so eating any emotion didn't affect him much. But I seem to have a stronger ancestral bloodline and can't handle it well. I have strong likes and dislikes. I've tried to accept it as part of my family's duty, but it's been tough."

"You worked hard for your family."

"Maybe... I tried my best, I think."

Unlike when he told me that my pain was mine alone, Sadias looked uncertain and bowed his head. I understood the feeling of losing confidence and becoming weak when it came to oneself. Perhaps we are similar in that way.

"You still smell good."

"Are you saying that in a literal sense?"

"Yes. I have strong likes and dislikes."

Sadias reached across the table and took my hand. He held it reverently in both of his hands, looking at me with sincere eyes.

"Just now, I ate your concern for me, and my health has improved. Could you help me with my meals for a while? Of course, I'll thank you."

"Me?"

"Probably only you."

"Probably?"

"Then, definitely."

A playful smile appeared on his sunken cheeks. If he says I'm the only one who can help, how can I refuse? But maybe I had already wanted to help him when I saw him suffering.

"If I can be of help, I will assist you."

"Thank you! Amaryllis!"

I set a condition as he rejoiced, almost ready to jump for joy.

"When you feel better, please eat all of my heart."

He froze, then asked quietly.

"Is that your wish?"

"Yes."

I just want to be thanked by someone, and if it's by the recovered Sadias, there could be nothing better.

"...I see. Yes, I understand."

So when Sadias nodded and promised me with a serious look, I was truly happy.