Chapter 4

「Love at first sight might sound casual and abrupt, however, sometimes a long-lasting feeling is not about how it happened, but how someone handled that feeling.」

–

“Sigh, if I was as handsome as Brother Sheng, I would’ve probably have had a wife and kids by now and be happy.” With a flushing red face, Fatty said as he waited at the restaurant’s entrance for a taxi.

“Being handsome is not the only standard.” Miao Yu scoffed inaudibly.

Maybe Fatty was a little drunk as he stood right on the road with his head poking out to watch the street. He would occasionally raise his hand but regrettably not stop a single car.

There were two colleagues, who could catch the last train, that said their goodbyes and left first. Afterwards, the entrance remained with Fatty and three steps away was Liang Chen and Miao Yu.

Miao Yu tugged at Cheng Yan’s arm and muttered, “Cheng Yan, how will you be getting home?”

“I think I’ll be going with Liang Chen.” Cheng Yan said.

“If we’re going the same way can you send me home as well?” Miao Yu blinked and continued, “Where does she live?”

“Chengbei District, what about you?” Cheng Yan replied.

Before he even finished, he heard Fatty who had stopped a car turned and shouted, “Assistant Liang, let’s go together.”

Liang Chen heard him, and without looking to their way, she took two steps to Fatty. Miao Yu saw and felt that Cheng Yan definitely wouldn’t need to send Liang Chen home. Following that, they heard the door closed as Fatty went in first.

Liang Chen turned around with a grin and said, “Miao Yu, where do you live? We can take the same car if you’re going the same way.”

Afterwards, they heard Miao yu, with a pout, slowly said, “Chengnan District.”

Both Chengbei and Chengnan were separated by an office block

Chengbei District and Chengnan District were separated by office blocks in Chengzhong District and a restaurant in Lingjiang District. The back and forth trip, even during the night, will absolutely not be congested, and the trip should take thirty to forty minutes minimum. With that set, Miao Yu obviously can’t ask for anything so she said, “Then you guys can go together. I’ll go on my own.”

“Then we’ll send you off first.” Liang Chen said.

After that, within a few minutes, the car that Miao Yu called for came early. Cheng Yan and the others sent her off then told her to send a message once she had arrived. Then, another car was called heading to Chengbei.

Once the sky darkens, Rong’s old self would appear as the new skyscrapers constructed in recent years will be hidden into the night, showing only low-rising residential buildings dotted like stars.

Cheng Yan looked at the lights passing by outside the window, and suddenly he recalled what he had felt in the morning. A persistent feeling that—as the man had abruptly stood so close in his life—his memories of his face had turned blurry. It was to the point of him having trouble remembering what he felt when he saw him, or the reason why it had stuck to his memories.

Liang Chen sat next to Cheng Yan and asked him, “Ah Yan, are you …”

“Hm? What?” Hearing a voice, Cheng Yan was pulled back from his thoughts. He turned and looked at the person beside him.

“I meant,” Liang Chen smiled at his reaction, “are you a bit scared of Chief Huo.”

“I’m not, but…” Cheng Yan hesitated, “why did you ask that?”

“It’s just that, it just felt like that, but maybe I’m wrong.” Liang Chen looked at him and explained for herself.

Cheng Yan also went with that explanation, “Maybe I’m just not good with strangers, you know me.”

Liang Chen didn’t expect this reply, so much so that she squinted and pondered for a moment, but she didn’t think much since she might just be overly sensitive. Following that, she leaned back and looked at the road ahead.

Perhaps Liang Chen was too tired for the day as she didn’t speak anymore, until the driver asked her when they were nearly there, “Is it this alley?”

Only then did she lift her eyes, “Can you please drop me off here.”

Liang Chen looked slightly sleepy after she got off so Cheng Yan also told her, “Make sure to message me.” Then he told the driver to drive two streets up before getting out of the car.

In actuality, Cheng Yan usually lived in a rented house in Linjiang District, which was very close to the restaurant they ate at. But he suddenly wanted to come here, having recalled what happened in the morning.

Coming home at this time was late so there were no lights when he walked upstairs. Cheng Yan used his phone as a torchlight and also looked at the time.

It was half-past eleven, his mother should be asleep by now.

Yet, she was an unexpectedly light sleeper. Just after he entered and changed his shoes, the bedroom door gently made a sound and a person came out.

Cheng Yan looked up and whispered, “Mom, did I wake you up?”

He saw her shake her head, then asked him, “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming back? I could’ve left the lights on for you.”

“We just happened to have a gathering for the company closeby so I came back.” Cheng Yan explained, “I’ll let you know in advance next time. You should sleep now. I’ll also wash up and go to bed.”

“Alright.” Mother Cheng answered, but she was worried for him so she helped switch on the bathroom lights and also brought a towel for him. Only then did she go back to her bedroom.

Even though it was summer, Cheng Yan’s heart felt warm and also cozy. When he entered his bedroom, he slowly turned on the air conditioner, allowing it to break the silence of the room.

The bed was against the window and a short cupboard was against the bed. After unlocking the cupboard and pulling open the third drawer, it was filled with things that were more important to Cheng Yan.

There was a family photo of three when he was a teenager, a somewhat rusty metal car model, diplomas and awards from different times, two or three old passbooks, and a diary with a torn cover.

The items were taken out and put back according to their top and bottom order, leaving only the diary outside.

Cheng Yan squatted in front of the bed and wiped his hair to the point where it didn’t drip before he threw the towel aside. He flipped open the diary, going through the pages quickly and not pausing for a single word or sentence in the diary. He only slowed down after he had flipped to one of the thick folders, to which he gently removed the sheet of paper that was inside.

The back of the thin paper was stuck with a layer of transparent tape, with obvious tear marks underneath it. Looking at it made him remember who had torn it, but he didn’t care to remember those details, instead he slowly uncovered the front.

And then he inwardly sighed: so he looked like that seven years ago. It seemed like nothing had changed, but it also seemed like a slight change had made him more mature and responsible by a bit.

But that doesn’t matter, he is him, it’s fine as long as it’s him.

Just like those feelings, even if it’s hidden in his heart, it’s fine as long as Cheng Yan knows, he didn’t need to tell anybody. Moreover, with just this tiny little happiness, he could sleep peacefully.

–

”

”

An early sun was not as bright in the morning.

When Cheng Yan woke up, his mother was still asleep. Most likely because Mother Cheng had retired that she does not need to wake up early, as she would usually talk with the aunts, take a walk or do some miscellaneous tasks. Thus, Cheng Yan quietly left a note and went to his company.

It was still early when he arrived. No one had come in the office yet, so when the cleaning auntie pushed the door and saw him, she didn’t expect that someone had arrived earlier than her. She said with a look of surprise, “Xiao Cheng, you’re here early?” And then she chatted to him about what he had eaten in the morning before cleaning the office.

Once the auntie vacuumed the office twice, she went to the next floor. After Cheng Yan waited for the person to leave, he looked around the office and then started to move his computer from the right to the left.

But once he unplugged the cables and was ready to move the heavy LCD screen, Miao Yu, weirdly enough, came to the office extraordinarily early. Moreover, seeing his actions she asked strangely, “Cheng Yan, why do you want to change the direction of the screen?”

“Hm? Mm, um.” Cheng Yan put the monitor down steadily with a slight panic in his heart. He hastily explained, “I’m looking this way too much so my shoulders aren’t feeling well.”

Hearing this, Miao Yu said “oh” half believing and doubting.

There were only two people in the office. Cheng Yan slowly moved his stuff on the table while Miao Yu silently watched with a propped head.

She watched him tidy the wires and relocate the phone. Miao Yu was truly a bit puzzled but she couldn’t really catch why it’s weird.

Thus she watched for a while until she was bored that she asked with a slight intent to gossip, “Cheng Yan, it’s just both of us so talk with me?”

”By the way, you came with the new chief yesterday, what do you think of him?” Miao Yu asked, “Speaking of which, we’ve never done a project with him before, right? I wonder if he’s the sort of person to look kind but actually really strict.”

“He isn’t.” Cheng Yan blurted unconsciously, and then he paused for a few seconds, feeling as if he had overreacted a bit and wanted to explain. Yet, he heard two beeps of a card being swiped from over the office door.

The next thing he knew, he saw, over his computer, the door was pushed open.

Huo Sheng walked in and greeted them, “Good morning.”

—

Xiao and Ah are both endearments. It’s similar to chan, san, kun in Japan.