Chapter 26

Edited by: Pierce, Vic

One day, Qiu Yixin read that Sir Lu Xun had drafted his will and was deeply inspired. He then wanted to do the same, along with Zhao Long.

Qiu Yixin’s will:

1. Zhao Long, don’t tear up my will.

2. After I’ve died, anything of value is to be donated to the orphanage. All my certificates and awards are to be burned with me, but if there are trophies that are gold, silver or crystal then they are to be sold off and used as wealth and donated too. As for the copper and iron ones, they are to be melted down. Jin Xian’er has the first pick of all my books, and all that he doesn’t want are to be donated to the city’s library.

3. For everything in my possession, whatever can be donated, donate it and give it to those that need it. After all, I won’t have any need for them anyways.

4. For that that can’t be donated, burn it and scatter the ashes into a river to feed the fishes. Or use it as fertilizer for the flowers. I hear that’s very fertile. If possible, take me around to travel the world and scatter a bit all around. That would be the best. But first, check and see if that would pollute the environment or not, don’t break any environmental laws. If there’s really no other way, then find a trash can and throw it away. Do not, under any circumstances, put me in a graveyard or similar places. I don’t like being squeezed together with so many other people.

5. Don’t hold a memorial service for me either, there’s nothing much to remember. Those that are worthy of reminiscence are the figures in history textbooks. What’s more, I know that once the person has gone and time has passed, there aren’t many that will truly reminisce about them, most people are just taking advantage of the occasion to obtain favours. Or else there are not even the benefits of obtaining favours, then they would be even more annoyed at me for having inconvenienced them, making me have to endure disdainful gazes even once I’m dead. Furthermore, don’t take any gift money under the name of any reason, I’ve long since hated the rotten habitual tradition of making any red, white, happy or sad occasion filled with the stench of money machinations. If you must give me something, then give me a single fresh flower (I don’t want flower baskets or flower wreaths, they’re too ugly).

6. Zhao Long, don’t tear up my will. I know that you’re cursing me again, I’m throwing them all back at you.

7. No matter what, do not play funeral music for me. Play romantic piano or cello music instead.

8. During the days of mourning, don’t pray for me. When you pray, you have to make wishes, it’s too utilitarian and I’m too lazy to pay attention to you guys. If you really have to place offerings, then I don’t want fruits. I don’t like to eat fruits, so give me ice cream or yogurt.

9. I beseech Mr. Jin Xian’er and Mr.Hao Da to look after Zhao Gongzi in my place. Knowing his temperament, he will very likely be a lonely old man. It’s difficult for him to have friends, and he doesn’t know how to save money. I’m afraid that he’ll suffer in his elderly years.

10. Zhao Long, you should try and spend more wisely, your situation isn’t that great.

After viewing reactions:

Zhao Gongzi : Piss off! Fuck, you’re so much trouble, you make such a fuss of everything. If you fucking die then Laozi will throw you into the Huang Pu river! Scram!

Jin Xian’er: I’m unable to control Zhao Gongzi : )

Hao Da: It’s too difficult, Mr. Qiu, really, it’s too difficult. Don’t trouble me…..

Zhao Long’s will:

1. Qiu Yixin has to be in mourning for the rest of his life! If he dies in the middle, then bring him back and keep him alive, if he doesn’t stay until he’s eighty, he’s not allowed to die!

2. All of my money goes to Qiu Yixin!

3. This is so troublesome, fuck, why the fuck do I have to write this. I don’t care anymore, everything else Qiu Yixin can take charge of!

After viewing reactions:

Qiu Yixin: You don’t have that much money, though?

Zhao Gongzi: Fuck, all you care about is Laozi’s money, Laozi just knew that if Laozi dies, that you’d take all my money and run away with that Jin guy! In your freaking dreams! Just see if Laozi dies! Even if Laozi dies then Laozi will bring him with me!

Jin Xian’er: Ha.Ha. : )

Rinrin: The Enddddd. The wills are so cute haha

they both want each other to live well and long if they die early/before the other