Chapter 66

"Damn, I'm broke."

I leaned back in my chair at the guild's table and muttered this, gazing up at the ceiling.

It's not like this is unusual; it's a common sight.

"Of course, if you buy something like that, you're gonna run out of money."

Balgair, sitting across from me, replied with a sigh of exasperation.

He might be right. Looking at the thing placed firmly on the table, it's clear it's expensive. I haven't told anyone the price, but it's obvious.

"Something like that... Balgair, guild members are all about their bodies, right? If your body's shot, you can't take on jobs that pay well. You have to pay attention to the little things and take care of your body. Money is important, but you can't cut corners on this."

"Mongrel, how many beers is this for you today?"

"Fourth one."

"You look like it."

"Balgair, this isn't just about you. Guild members get slower and less perceptive as they age. And if you're single, you might start taking more risks."

"You're being really annoying today. I wish I hadn't told you about the new beer shipment."

"You know how long guild members can work on the front lines, right?"

"..."

Today, Balgair got injured. It wasn't serious. A glancing blow from a small shield left a slight cut and a bit of blood.

But the opponent wasn't some terrifying monster. Five years ago, Balgair wouldn't have gotten such a silly injury. It's a sign of decline.

Yes, you decline. Your body ages faster than your mind.

Look at the age of Olympic athletes. That's the reality. I doubt anyone here understands this.

"Being active all your life sounds cool, but you should think about your life after retirement, I think."

"You're such a preachy old man. You haven't changed a bit."

"Balgair, you could still do well in the city. Teach the younger members, become a guild... executive or something..."

"Yeah, yeah. Here, eat this. It's a salad made from medicinal herbs."

"Medicinal herbs?"

It looks a lot like a detox herb. I crushed the stem... what was it called? The extraction method... I saw it in the guild's library, but in the end, store-bought versions were easier and cheaper.

"Eat it quickly. If you don't, you'll be forced to rank up to Silver in the next test."

"What? You're kidding, right? I'm eating, I'm eating."

I took a bite... damn, it's bitter...

"..."

The bitter juice I swallowed took effect immediately.

The herb, Danpas, is used to neutralize poisons. When you crush the stem and leaves and drink it, it can alleviate food poisoning.

It's said that using it raw can be too strong and irritate the stomach, but right now, the raw strength is working.

...The alcohol in my head is completely gone.

"...Hey, Balgair, isn't this beer stronger than usual...?"

"Yeah, I told you. It's stronger than usual, so don't drink too much..."

"Why is it so...? The smell... this is... distilled alcohol mixed in, right...?"

"They mix a bit of failed whiskey into the beer and sell it. It's twice as strong and makes you feel sick. ...I told you that, didn't I?"

"Wow, I didn't expect it to be this strong..."

The usual alcohol is low in strength and easy to drink. Even beer has a low alcohol content, making it a very gentle drink, just enough to get a slight buzz.

But this... it's not just a slight buzz. It's more than double. It's a strong beer.

Strong... a familiar word. I don't remember drinking alcohol this strong in this life, but my soul must remember. That's why I drank it without hesitation...

No, alcohol is scary. My body isn't particularly strong against it, and there's no hospital if my liver fails...

I need to be more careful. I was lecturing Balgair, but I shouldn't have been talking about others...

"Ah, Senior Mongrel... wow, you smell like alcohol."

"Hey, Lina. And Ulrika too."

"Evening... you smell terrible... how much have you had, Mongrel? ...Oh, hello, Balgair."

"Hey."

"This beer has a bit of a story. Just got back from a mission, huh? Good work."

It looks like only Lina and Ulrika returned to the guild. They probably did some light hunting as a pair, not a full Artemis mission.

They're handling the paperwork at the reception. ...Hmm, bows. I haven't practiced with a bow recently. Actually, I haven't practiced magic either. I need to start or my books will just become decorations.

"Anyway, Mongrel, this is what I'm talking about."

"This? Oh... this equipment?"

Balgair is pointing at my new equipment without hesitation.

"You were using this to lecture me, right?"

"Ah... sorry. But there's a reason. See, this is armor, right? Good armor to keep you safe on the job."

"Is that what you were thinking? And this is armor? Not a taxidermy piece?"

"Of course it's armor. Look."

I put on the equipment on the table.

It's a bit heavy, but see, it's headgear, right?

"Senior Mongrel, are you going to drink with us...? Whoa! What's that!?"

"Haha! What's that, Mongrel?"

"That's the feeling, man."

"Bow users don't get it."

"Neither do I."

"Spear users don't get it either."

The helm I'm wearing is new equipment I bought recently from the market.

It's not just any helm. It's a sturdy plate helm with a large axe on top, like a crest, and large horns on the sides, probably like those on goats or sheep. The back has some fur-like material, fluffy and warm. It's probably good for shock absorption.

The face guard covers from the nose to the chin, protecting against facial attacks. It's the strongest headgear for combat.

It seems to increase attack power and reflect a portion of attacks.

It's about three times heavier than a regular sturdy helm, but that's part of the charm.

"Senior Mongrel, you're wasting money again..."

"No, I only had regular helms before. It was expensive, but I wanted to get serious about my equipment."

"You're fine with the regular ones."

"Why do you always go all out on weird things...?"

"Aren't the horns cool?"

"Horns are cool."

"Right?"

"Senior Balgair, you're too lenient with Senior Mongrel!"

I like the design...

If I removed the axe and broke the horns, this helm would probably be perfect for a goblin charge. But I won't do that.

"Senior Mongrel, you worry about me... but are you okay with money? You're making a lot now, but it'll be bad when you can't move due to lack of funds."

"Senior Mongrel always complains about being broke... but you buy a lot of things... How do you make money without taking big missions?"

"I want to know too. You're not doing anything illegal, right?"

"No, I'm not doing anything illegal."

Maybe I do a bit of illegal stuff that doesn't get caught...

"Recently, I've been selling my original inventions at the Black Mist Market."

"You never learn. Following in Lord Chaos's footsteps, huh?"

"No, no, they sell. It's an invention boom, right? I make and sell things quickly when I have ideas. Some items have been unsold for years, but surprisingly, people buy them."

"Wow... really?"

"What do you sell?"

The Fire Piston... I'll skip that. It's hard to explain where the idea came from.

Even in my past life, I didn't fully understand it. If I explain it, it might sound suspicious...

"A washboard. It's a board with grooves that you use to scrub clothes. It's very effective and convenient, though I did copy the idea a bit."

"Really? We might have one in our clan house! I forgot who bought it, though."

"Really? Thanks, Artemis."

"Uh, yeah, it's convenient."

"Nice one, Mongrel."

Seriously, my washboard is being used by people close to me.

It's a practical household item, so it's not surprising it's popular, but I don't want to be known as a great inventor...

"Also... that thing Dick Bart talked about at the guild, the one you stick in your butt."

"Huh...?"

"Ah... Senior Mongrel, I'm drinking..."

"Actually, it's hard to talk about this sober. It's a drinking conversation."

"Ahaha! I remember! It was on the board! You made that thing!"

"Senior Mongrel, you sold that kind of thing? Made it...?"

Ulrika, blushing, asks hesitantly.

Well... there's no actual item here, and it's a drinking session, so it's fine.

"It's a tool you stick inside your body. It's dangerous, so I made it smooth using a Hornwolf's horn, carefully removing any rough spots to avoid injury. You have to be gentle and considerate, like this."

"You made a tool to stick in a man's butt! Ahaha!"

"Y-Yeah... it's thoughtful..."

Balgair is laughing so hard. Well, it's funny. It's a relief that he's laughing, as it's a bit of a depressing topic.

"What shape is it? How many did you make?"

"The shape... well, it's sold now, but I based it on my own... bastard sword."

"Y-You mean...?"

"Y-Your... h-How many did you make?"

"Three. I had someone sell them, and they all sold, even at a high price."

"Ahaha! Really! Your Mongrel sold!"

"Yep, my Mongrel. Someone in this city might be using my Mongrel right now. Imagining that, I've sold them, but I often regret it..."

"Ha... I'm laughing so hard...! Stop it...!"

Balgair is laughing so hard he might die.

Is it funny? It is. I'd laugh too if I were a third party.

Laugh as much as you want... it eases the emptiness I feel every night...

"Senior Mongrel, you're into dirty business, huh?"

"Well, it is... dirty. Yes, it is."

Lina's glare is 100% correct. I've become a dirty merchant.

"But... you made it with care for the other person's body... that's really thoughtful, Senior Mongrel..."

Ulrika, trying to make a comment. You don't have to force yourself into this kind of conversation...

"Thanks for the kind words... I made it to prevent dangerous solo play. It sold out quickly, which was unexpected."

"Using Hornwolf horns is a waste..."

"True."

"...I see... So, Senior Mongrel... your Mongrel... is being used by someone..."

"Ha... my stomach... is cramping...!"

"Hey, are you okay, old man?"

"Y-You, Mongrel... that's a dirty trick... hii, hii...!"

"Why do men like these topics so much..."

That day, Balgair's slightly flabby abs got a bit of a workout.

Thanks to my Mongrel, Balgair's career was extended by one more day... but this is a really dirty story...