Chapter 79

Today, we were blessed with unusually high temperatures, as if summer had arrived early.

No, "blessed" might be the wrong word. Few people would be happy if summer suddenly arrived when it was still the season for long sleeves. On the streets, many people looked exhausted by the unseasonably hot weather.

What I hate most is that the food goes bad easily.

Meat and fish spoil quickly, and even bread doesn't last as long. It might seem like a minor change, but in a world without refrigerators in every household, it's no laughing matter.

Merchants who usually transport ingredients to neighboring towns had to give up and sell them at a discount in Regol. In the outdoor kitchens, many people were making large meals with ingredients that were about to spoil or had been sold at a discount, and some were making smoked foods.

I don't want to spend a long time cooking in this sweltering heat, but I guess it's necessary to do so.

Anyway, it seems the heat brought more people to the guild today.

The guild is a well-built structure that stays cool in summer and warm in winter. It's quite cool today. The food and drinks are expensive, but the coolness is worth it.

"That's why you need to bring the bow closer when you draw it."

"Mongrel-senpai, you're just bringing your face closer. You need to bring the bow closer to your body. Your arm should be straight relative to your body."

"Relative to which part of the body...?"

"Do you get forgetful when you get old...?"

"Hey, that's too sharp. You'll kill someone with words like that."

I sipped a slightly chilled ale while learning archery from Lina and Ulrika.

It seems the guild bought a large block of ice from the ice house today and is using it to keep cool. They're also offering drinks with ice to those who request it, though at a higher price.

Ales with ice just get watered down, but as someone who has the taste of cold beer ingrained in my soul, I couldn't resist buying one.

"But quivers are expensive, aren't they? I thought they were just simple tubes and would be cheaper. I can't afford one yet."

"Quivers are important equipment for quickly drawing arrows. If you're particular, they can be even more expensive."

"But there are all kinds of prices, right?"

"I might make one myself out of leather."

I have decent skills in leather crafting. If I understand the basic construction, making one myself wouldn't be bad. It would be cheaper too.

As I was thinking about this, a large group entered the guild.

I could recognize the tall figure of the leader with just a glance.

It was the members of "Sword of Harvest," led by Dick Balt.

But something seemed off.

Dick Balt, who is usually quiet and expressionless, looked quite exhausted.

The sense of unease I felt seemed to have spread to the other members of the guild, and the atmosphere was somewhat restless.

"Hey, what's going on? Dick Balt, you look really down."

"What happened?"

"...Dick Balt... had his gold plate stolen by a prostitute and got into trouble with the guards."

"Huh? She stole from him while he was sleeping?"

"Seriously...?"

Upon hearing the details, it seems Dick Balt was a victim of theft at the brothel where he stayed last night.

The stolen item was Dick Balt's gold-ranked plate. The culprit was the prostitute who shared the room with him. She disappeared when Dick Balt woke up but was caught soon after.

The motive was likely that she intended to sell the gold plate. The brothel where the prostitute was caught was a cheap place where women who don't earn much gather.

She probably planned to use the money to escape somewhere. Still, it was a sloppy crime.

There's a big pitfall with this crime, though.

"...Mongrel-senpai, gold plates aren't actually made of gold, right?"

"Yeah, they're made of brass."

"Apparently, they used to be made of real gold... but that's not the case now."

The gold-ranked plate stolen by the prostitute. It looks shiny like gold, but it's actually made of brass.

There are reasons for this, such as durability and cost, but the main reason is to avoid attracting unnecessary crime. It's a well-known fact that the most expensive rank plate to produce is the silver plate.

For guild members, this is common knowledge. But it's not something that's widely known to the general public.

Still, there was an unfortunate woman who didn't know this basic fact.

"What a foolish prostitute."

"To steal from Dick Balt... I can't forgive that. Which brothel is it? I'll shut it down."

"She should be made a slave for the criminals."

Honestly, as a guild member, I understand the anger of the others. Stealing from a customer is unforgivable.

But... when I imagine the background of the prostitute who committed the crime, I feel more pity than anger.

Even if she were right in front of me, I wouldn't throw a stone at her.

"Cheer up, leader..."

"It's... my fault... for not taking better care of my personal belongings..."

"That's not it...!"

"If I had been more careful... this sad incident wouldn't have happened..."

Dick Balt seems to blame himself for the prostitute's actions.

Of course, the one who committed the crime is at fault, and I think Dick Balt understands that... but he's the kind of person who can't blame the prostitute. He's a kind man.

"That's... so sad."

"He's really down..."

"Come on, a few drinks and some noise will cheer him up."

Strong drinks are supposed to help in situations like this, but whiskey hasn't been widely available yet. Come on, Lord Regol, use all the seeds for whiskey this year!

"Damn, it's not good if the leader doesn't recover. The only option is to create some lewd topics and force the mood to lighten up!"

"Are you going to do it, Chuck...? But will it really help Dick Balt...?"

"–Lewd... talk...?"

"! He's reacting... this might work!"

"Leave it to me, Dick Balt! I'll get some fresh lewd stories for you...!"

"Ah, I came to the guild specifically for this treatment...! Guys, are you ready...!?"

Oh, it looks like something is about to start.

I recognize this enthusiastic wave, like the night of a school trip... it's unmistakable!

"The third... Aged Moldy Smoked Cheese Lewd Talk Battle is about to begin!"

"Yahooooo!"

"Lewd talk, leave it to me!"

"Moeluuu!"

"What was that!?"

Here comes the lewd talk battle! You guys, seriously... you should be more aware of your surroundings with Dick Balt here!

Today, even the young members of the Young Tree's Staff are around!

"Here we go again..."

"Maybe Mongrel-senpai will participate this time...?"

"Really, Mongrel-senpai?"

"...Chilled ale. Yes, chilled ale. If there's one thing missing from today's ale... it's aged moldy smoked cheese, isn't it?"

"I don't get it..."

Aged moldy cheese is rare. It's a strong-smelling cheese that goes well with alcohol. It's delicious on its own, but smoked... it's like combining strong with strong.

But if it's moldy cheese, I'd rather eat it unsmoked.

"This aged moldy smoked cheese... is a special cheese I got from Grandma Barome. It's an invincible cheese, smoked with fruit tree twigs. And for the participants, one piece, and for the winner, three pieces!"

"Whoa!"

"Great!"

"Chuck, you're the best! You're a hit with the ladies!"

"Shut up!"

It really does sound delicious... I can't just sit here. I'll win that cheese, even if it means sacrificing my dignity as a man!

"Here we go again, Mongrel-senpai... I don't like that kind of lewd talk... Ulrika-senpai? What's wrong?"

"Huh? Oh, nothing...? What's up?"

"You seemed distracted..."

"It's nothing, nothing. Let's cheer for Mongrel! If he wins, he might share the cheese with us."

"Hmm, I'm tired of cheese..."

"You're so picky..."

The lewd men gathered in the center, while the female guild members, watching with white eyes, moved to the side tables.

That's right, this place is about to become a battlefield. Women and children, go home.

"–I, Dick Balt, will serve as the judge...–let all your accumulated wisdom and energy flow freely."

"Whoa!"

"Already, Dick Balt seems to be in better spirits. I'll do my best!"

"The cheese is mine!"

And so, the battle of lewd talk among the perverted men began again...

"First attack! 'Children from the Alliance have weak ears!'"

"Wha...!?"

"Seriously!? Is this already decided!? This is tough for Brian!"

"–But it's unverified! At least in my experience... it's within the margin of error! No effective hit!"

"What...!? So, it was an act for me...!?"

"Chance! Here I go! 'Girls don't actually feel that good when you grab their chests!'"

"–Winner, Brian!"

"Whaaa!? My technique was all an illusion!?"

"–A woman who can deceive a man... is also a sweet dream... a woman's skill..."

"Here you go, three pieces for the winner, Brian!"

"Shaa!"

The battle is heating up.

The winners are drunk on good wine, while the losers hang their heads and eat the cheese in silence... well, the cheese is still delicious, just in smaller portions.

They seem to be quite dejected just from losing...

"Is Alex participating again?"

"Our vice-leader told me to win the cheese... Mongrel-san, are you participating too?"

"It's a delicious cheese, so I'll win it again and get a good amount."

"You're confident..."

"I don't plan to lose. I have knowledge passed down from a sage."

"That's suspicious..."

"Hey, Mongrel-san... that's not something to let slide...? Winning easily...? That's an insult to me, the organizer!"

Here comes Chuck again.

"But it's not decided that I'll face you."

"I'm deciding it! It's the organizer's privilege!"

"It's a rematch with Chuck!"

"The third match! Will Chuck win this time!? Or will Mongrel's dominance continue...!?"

Hey, am I the heel here? Chuck looks more like the heel.

"–Mongrel... come and win. Reach the heights where I stand–"

"No thanks..."

"No excuses! Here's my first attack!"

"Here it is! Chuck's organizer's initiative!"

Oh no, I got the first attack again.

But I've won before, so it's not a big deal.

"Hehehe... I was defeated by male topics last time and the time before... I have to clear my name on the same battlefield...! Here I go! Men... can feel pleasure from their 'balls'...!"

"Oh! Really!?"

"Isn't it just painful!?"

"Still... additional attack!"

Additional attack!? Is that even a thing!?

"Also... men can feel pleasure from their 'thighs'!"

"Thighs!? Just legs...!?"

"Chuck is just making it up... what's the judgment...!?"

"–Effective! Two-hit combo!"

"Whoa! It's decided!"

Two-hit combo!? Is there a combo system in this battle!?

Damn, I still don't fully understand the rules of the battle...

"Even Mongrel will find this tough... hehehe... I got this information from a skilled prostitute...!"

"...This is decided."

"Only someone like Dick Balt could reverse this..."

The audience already seems to think the match is over.

Hey, I was surprised by the combo system too...

"...Who raised the white flag first?"

"Wha!? This guy still has the will to fight...!"

"Chuck... you've lost to me twice. And you're challenging me again... still as weak as before."

"What!? What are you...!"

"I'm tired of you... two-hit combo? You think you can beat me with just that? You're making me laugh..."

"It's a bluff! This time, I'll win...!"

"Then, double or nothing."

"Wha!?"

The atmosphere changes.

"If you think you can beat me... put your money where your mouth is... the cheese, 'six pieces'...!"

"What!?"

"Is he serious about beating Chuck...!?"

"I don't know... this lewd battle is beyond our comprehension now..."

"Of course, I'm not giving away cheese for free. If I lose, I don't want any cheese. I'll even bet silver coins..."

"Mongrel-san, we can't have open gambling in the guild..."

"Sorry, Milene-san... let's just stick to the cheese..."

"That's fine..."

Phew, I almost got a serious scolding from Milene-san.

"Ugh... fine! Six pieces of cheese! Now that you mention it, it's not a big bet! I'll take it, the bet!"

"Whoa! Chuck is going for double or nothing!"

"But it's not as exciting without money..."

"Let's get the mood up anyway!"

"Come on, Mongrel! You're nothing to be afraid of!"

Phew, Chuck seems to have made up his mind.

He's quite vocal. I'll show him no mercy and end this.

"Ear, neck, collarbone..."

"Wha...!?"

"Armpit, nipple, back..."

"What the hell, you...! What are you...!?"

"–Ngh! This...!"

You realize it now, Dick Balt. But it's too late.

"Stomach, groin, perineum, anus, inner thigh, knee, toes... phew, that's all for now."

"What the hell is this guy! Just listing body parts...!"

"–Still talking, Chuck?"

"What...! No way, such...!"

"What I just listed... 'are all male erogenous zones'?"

"Damn!"

At that moment, Chuck was blown back about three meters and fell to the floor.

Poor guy. He didn't even realize he was out cold.

"–Winner, Mongrel!"

"Chu, Chuck...!"

"Seriously! Men can feel that much!?"

"I didn't know... about my own body...!"

"–Indeed. But to heighten sensitivity, you need to touch these areas consciously... they do exist... well done, Mongrel..."

"Wow... there are so many... I didn't know..."

"Someone, give Chuck a revival potion!"

"Alcohol will do!"

"Alright, bring it! Chuck, wake up...!"

"Gurgle..."

Fool. This is what happens when you challenge me.

I'll take the cheese, thanks, Chuck. Hahaha.

"–Impressive, Mongrel. I didn't expect you to know so much about the male body...–Could it be that you, like me, have visited such establishments...?"

"No, I heard it from a perverted missionary I met on the street."

"Another perverted missionary!?"

"I wasn't looking for one!"

"To think there are such perverted missionaries out there..."

"By the way, didn't Dick Balt just say something dangerous...?"

"Let's pretend we didn't hear it... it could interfere with our mission..."

And so, I took six pieces of high-quality cheese and returned to the table.

"...Mongrel-senpai, you still like lewd talk, don't you?"

"No, it's not that I like it... I just know about it. Here, have some cheese."

"Yay!"

"Ulrika, eat some too. Ah, my ale is getting warm..."

"Ah, yeah... thanks..."

"Damn, warm ale ruins the taste of good cheese... but it's still good..."

That day, despite the white-eyed glares from Artemis's juniors and the girls from the Young Tree's Staff, I enjoyed the unique flavor of the moldy cheese, which is hard to come by.