Chapter 46

Chapter 5 of Episode 46: I Am a Medical Student (1)

On a chilly evening, the cold snap from the college entrance exam had yet to subside.

I left home, braving the biting cold wind.

It was 10 PM, and the residential area was dark and deserted.

The atmosphere was eerie, as if a ghost could jump out from anywhere.

The person who called me at such an unusual hour was Jiwon Kim. Without much explanation, she said she wanted to meet and talk for a bit.

Curious about what she wanted to discuss in person, I didn't refuse and went to the meeting place.

"Jiwon Kim."

I waved to Jiwon Kim, who was standing at the entrance of the park.

Jiwon Kim also waved when she saw me.

"What's up at this hour? Is something wrong?"

I asked, looking worried.

Unusual patterns usually lead to unfortunate events.

Happiness is built within the routine.

Misfortune, on the other hand, appears uninvited and disrupts the peaceful routine.

"It's nothing major. I just wanted to see your face since the exam is over."

Jiwon Kim's expression was dark, and her voice lacked energy.

She was once a lively and energetic person, known as a "female general" in elementary school.

The Jiwon Kim I saw now was not the Jiwon Kim I knew.

What could be troubling her?

It couldn't be that she failed the exam and was disappointed, as she had no intention of going to college.

Did the drama casting she was recently talking about fall through?

I was half curious and half worried.

"It's cold, let's go over there. We need to get out of the wind."

I led Jiwon Kim to the front of a nearby library.

"How was the exam?"

"You know. I'm not going to college, so I just played a guessing game. But you, being you, must have done well, right?"

"Well, I got a perfect score, even though it was just a preliminary grading."

"Wow! I didn't expect that... You can even be called out at night for a perfect score. I feel so honored."

"You should be. If you know, be nice to me."

Jiwon Kim and I passed the time with light-hearted jokes.

But we both knew something clearly.

This small talk wasn't what we should be discussing at this late hour.

There was a more important topic to address.

Unable to tolerate the beating around the bush, I cut to the chase.

"What happened today? Speak your mind. I'll listen to everything."

"Nothing much."

"It doesn't seem like nothing."

"Actually..."

Under repeated questioning, Jiwon Kim lowered her head and whispered.

"I'm moving next year."

"Moving?"

I blinked, surprised by the unexpected word.

The idea that moving was the cause of Jiwon Kim's sadness seemed absurd.

Moving = Sadness.

I couldn't understand why this equation held true.

"Why don't you know why I'm feeling down?"

"To be honest."

"Even if you go to medical school, it'll be hard to see you. If I move, we'll be even further apart. I don't like that."

Jiwon Kim's words sounded childish, like a spoiled child's tantrum, but they were rooted in her affection for me.

In essence, she was saying she didn't want us to drift apart.

Since kindergarten, Jiwon Kim has always looked at me like a sunflower.

I felt grateful for this, but also guilty and burdened.

Perhaps it was time to define our relationship.

I couldn't shake this feeling.

Jiwon Kim probably felt the same way.

"..."

"..."

We were silent for a long time, lost in our thoughts.

Do I see Jiwon Kim as a romantic interest?

I asked myself, but the answer was no.

As a former thoracic surgeon, I've always seen Jiwon Kim as cute, even now as a high school student.

Of course, that doesn't mean we can't date.

Jiwon Kim is kind and cares for me deeply.

If I have anyone to rely on besides my family, it's probably Jiwon Kim.

But...

Can I really make Jiwon Kim happy by dating her for my own selfish reasons?

I don't think so.

While untangling the complicated ties from my past life and striving to become the best thoracic surgeon, can I also share a sweet and loving relationship with Jiwon Kim?

I don't have the capacity for that.

Dating Jiwon Kim would only impose another sacrifice on her.

Of course, some might criticize my choice.

Can't a thoracic surgeon date or get married?

Of course, many thoracic surgeons do.

But I don't have the confidence to do so.

I clearly see myself making Jiwon Kim suffer.

I can't and don't want to tolerate or accept that.

"Jiwon."

I broke the silence, having organized my thoughts.

I already felt heavy-hearted.

"I know what you're thinking and what you're going to say."

Jiwon Kim interrupted, looking me straight in the eye.

"So don't say it. Just listen to me."

"..."

"I know you still see me as a kid and that you don't have romantic feelings for me. I also know that our relationship will naturally drift apart when you go to medical school."

Jiwon Kim's voice was now moist.

She clearly knew what I was going to say.

"That doesn't mean we have to end our relationship. Sometimes, settling for the second-best is important, as always wanting the best is greedy."

"Then it would just be me making a one-sided sacrifice. I don't want that."

I also expressed my true feelings.

After achieving my goals as a thoracic surgeon, should I meet Jiwon Kim?

When would that be?

Would that meeting have any significant meaning?

Would it be better for both of us to completely cut ties in this situation?

Although it felt somewhat childish,

The nature of romantic relationships is inherently childish.

"Hmph! What a silly thing to say. There are so many good men in the world. Why would I tie my life to you forever?"

Jiwon Kim suddenly burst into a laugh.

"Let's just keep things as they are. When we both have more free time, we can try dating officially. How about that?"

"..."

"That way, neither of us will feel burdened. What do you think?"

"Sure, I'm sorry and grateful."

Jiwon Kim, who clearly defined our relationship, was more mature and understanding than I was.

Thinking of her as just a naive, inexperienced girl was a mistake.

Thanks to her, I felt a weight lifted off my chest.

Deciding to cut off a relationship just because I can't handle it well is a bad habit I've had since my past life.

I realized this and found a good solution.

All thanks to Jiwon Kim.

"Let's go eat tteokbokki at a street stall in front of the station. I'll treat you today."

"Of course, you should."

Jiwon Kim and I left the park amicably.

Our conversation wasn't over yet.

* * *

The classroom after the college entrance exam was incredibly peaceful.

The root of all evil, Sim Byung-su, was expelled, and the bullies now avoided me.

However, not all news was good.

A few students tragically took their own lives after the exam.

Even with my ability to time-travel, I couldn't save anonymous individuals.

After meeting Jiwon Kim that night, we continued to get along as usual.

We often checked in on each other and walked to school together.

Our relationship felt even closer after sharing our true feelings.

Time passed, and soon the college entrance exam results were released.

With a pounding heart, I received my score from my homeroom teacher, and it was a perfect score.

Fortunately, the preliminary grading was correct.

This score was essentially a pass to become the top student at Shinwon University.

The day I received the score, our house was filled with joy.

My parents danced, and my grandparents called to congratulate me.

The overwhelming congratulations from everyone left me dizzy.

As the year changed, the year 1999, predicted by Nostradamus to be the end of the world, arrived.

On February 22, 1999, the freshman orientation for Shinwon University, the top university in the country, was held.

As the top student, I took the oath on behalf of the freshmen.

Even I, who had time-traveled, felt deeply moved at this moment.

It felt like a prodigal son returning home in glory.

After taking the oath and finishing the orientation, I took a photo with my parents and grandparents.

"Believe has really become a doctor. I'm so happy I don't know what to say."

My mother shed tears of joy.

My father was choked up but tried hard not to cry.

My grandparents were proud and impressed.

"Brother, are you going to be a doctor now?"

"Yep."

"Then when I'm sick, you can say 'Ho~' instead of Mom."

Sarang said seriously, but our family just burst into laughter.

In my past life, the graduation photo only included my parents and me.

But in this life, my grandparents and my sister Sarang were also in the photo.

This life, which I had built and cultivated, was taking a completely different path from my past life.

* * *

On the late night after the orientation, the house was quiet.

My parents and Sarang were all asleep.

I was quietly and busily packing my bag for the medical pre-school orientation the next day.

'Is this enough?'

I placed the bulging backpack on the desk and lay down on the bed.

It felt like just yesterday I couldn't even control my bladder, and now I was a medical student.

Time is truly fleeting when you look back.

I imagined the future on the ceiling.

For the first two years, I would have a relatively relaxed and comfortable time.

During the two years of pre-medical school, there wasn't much difference between medical students and other freshmen.

There were only a few specialized subjects like medical terminology and anatomy, and the rest were general education courses.

Many freshmen believed that "playing is the best way to gain."

Of course, I had no intention of wasting this time.

The two years of pre-medical school would be the foundation for becoming a better thoracic surgeon.

I recalled the names of people I knew from the past.

Among them were friends who could be future colleagues.

There were also friends I needed to cut ties with and those whose information would be useful to know.

Since I knew their personalities and futures, it was up to me to use this information.

'I need to address that issue first.'

I stroked my chin.

On the first day of the two-day orientation.

In other words, tomorrow.

I would experience unforgettable events.

How I overcome these events would determine the direction of my pre-medical school life.

Unable to sleep from excitement, I sat back at my desk.

I put away the backpack and started organizing the past events I knew in a notebook.

I also added the goals I must achieve during my two years of pre-medical school.

Only then did my tense mind begin to relax.

After all, I had come back to medical school after a long and difficult journey.

Just as I had changed my life and surroundings so far,

I needed to completely transform my medical school life.

Now that I had the strength and ability to do so, there was no reason I couldn't.

After a restless night filled with strange dreams, I woke up and had breakfast with my parents.

With my backpack on, I left home with a fresh spirit.

The clumsy doctor I once was was no more.

I was steadily moving towards becoming a real doctor.