Chapter 6

I am frequently exchanging letters with Lord Siegmund. He writes very witty and engaging letters, making our correspondence enjoyable. Incidentally, I don’t have the curse of that language in my writing, so I can be quite sincere in my letters. When Lord Siegmund sent me roses that he had tended himself, I was so delighted that I felt like I was floating on air. I wrote him many messages expressing my joy, over and over again.

It is said in society that Alte has become close with Harriet Sariel, a viscount’s daughter. I don’t know when they became close, but it seems they have grown fond of each other.

When I got home, I confronted Alte.

“Hohoho. You boasted about your ‘destined woman,’ yet you so easily changed your mind. Men’s ‘promises’ are truly the most unreliable things.”

While I think it’s for the best if Alte starts to pay attention to a decent woman, I feel a chill in my heart.

“...Miss Harriet is not like that…”

Alte lowered his eyes gently. His face looked so mature, and the thought that Harriet had made Alte look this way made my chest ache.

It’s fine, though. I have Lord Siegmund. His letters vividly describe a wonderful daily life, and my impression of him as a wonderful person has only grown.

I am frequently exchanging letters with Lord Siegmund and feeling elated. I wonder if this exhilarating feeling is love?

“You, on the other hand, are quite popular, aren’t you?”

“Of course. But when you say it, it sounds sarcastic. (Translation: Thank you. But Alte is more popular, right?)”

He is handsome, and unlike me, he isn’t cursed with that language. I know he’s very popular with girls. I’d rather not be a mother-in-law in his household when he gets married. I think my behavior would make his wife unhappy. It hurts to think about it.

***

At the ball, Alte was by Lady Harriet’s side. Lady Harriet has a round face; she’s not beautiful, but she’s charming. She is known for her good nature, and many men are captivated by her personality. She is also very popular with women. Unlike me, who is unpopular with both men and women.

“What are you looking at?”

I was staring blankly at Alte and Harriet, and Lord Siegmund asked me.

“It’s just that an annoying presence has become even more annoying, so it catches my eye. (Translation: I can’t help but notice them.)”

I have no intention of interfering in Alte and Harriet’s relationship. I even welcome their closeness. But I can’t help but think that Alte has never placed me by his side at a ball like this… We were known as the estranged siblings. Alte doesn’t think highly of me.

Lord Siegmund, as confirmed by my father’s investigation, is a flawless young nobleman. He has a good personality, ample wealth, and is a handsome young man. He is 22 years old. While his romantic life isn’t entirely pure, there’s nothing particularly scandalous. He is the ideal marriage prospect. I frequently exchange letters to keep his interest. We have met several times at balls, and he is a wonderful dancer.

“Would you like to dance a song?”

“That’s not a bad idea. (Translation: I’d be delighted.)”

As expected, Lord Siegmund is an excellent dancer, and we finished the dance with a pleasant feeling. After the dance, he gently embraced me, our bodies pressed together so closely that I could hear his heartbeat.

“Shall we go to the terrace?”

I followed him to the terrace. It was a space surrounded by walls in a C-shape, with trees planted here and there. A large, bluish-white moon hung in the night sky.

“Your letters are very interesting, Miss Loretta. They are so sincere, unlike the strange language you usually use…”

“My tone is just a habit.”

I know it’s a bad habit, but I can’t change it. My twisted personality often leads to misunderstandings. As a result, I have no connections. It’s sad, really. I am only doted on by men like Lord Advance.

“The real Miss Loretta is sincere, positive, and adorable.”

“Flattery won’t get you anything. (Translation: Thank you.)”

I blush when I’m praised so frankly…

I look at the moon floating in the sky, its bluish-white light casting a soft glow.

“You are even more beautiful under the moonlight.”

“Are you saying I’m less beautiful without the moonlight? (Translation: You have to say I’m beautiful all the time.)”

Lord Siegmund smiled.

“My apologies. You are always the most beautiful.”

Lord Siegmund was indulging me. Being pampered feels good. I get a sense of stability, but is this comfort also love?

“Beautiful… beloved Miss Loretta…”

Lord Siegmund cornered me against the wall and gently slid his hand along my cheek. His lips slowly approached mine. He intends to kiss me… I shudder.

“No.”

When I refused, Lord Siegmund paused for a moment.

“Don’t be afraid…?”

“No… I don’t want to…”

I cried in fear. I don’t know why, but I really don’t want to be kissed by Lord Siegmund.

“Sister, stop. Step back.”

Alte, who had appeared out of nowhere, pulled Lord Siegmund away. Lord Siegmund didn’t resist and immediately stepped back.

“Miss Loretta, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Lord Siegmund bowed sadly and left.

“Alte…”

“...”

Alte pressed me against the wall with a frightening look and forcefully kissed me. It was a slow, deep, and intense kiss. Ah, ah… his tongue is in my mouth… my heart is pounding.

After thoroughly kissing me and making me feel weak, Alte stepped back.

“Let’s go home for the night.”

“...Yes.”

My heart was in turmoil, and I had no mood for the ball. I was confused by rejecting Lord Siegmund, whom I thought was the one, and by being kissed by Alte, who saw my true self.

***

In the carriage, Alte was silent. I was confused about the intention behind that kiss.

“Alte…?”

“Don’t talk to me, Sister. I’m feeling self-loathing.”

“...”

Did he kiss his most hated sister in a moment of passion and now feels self-loathing? I felt very depressed.