C1 Part3

Parsed with an automated reader. The content accuracy is not guranteed.

And that’s chapter one done. It’s still too early to say if I like this novel or not, but I think I’ll probably stick with it until the end. Chapter 2 is fucking long holy shit. Keep an eye out for part 1 of that after I do some Oresuki. Anyways, enjoy. Let me know if you find any mistakes!

***

In a room too wide and large for just one culture club, there were bookshelves arranged in such a way that hid the walls. The atmosphere was calm and composed, as if the library had been cut off from the outside world completely.

The epitome of transience and imperfection1. There’s no doubt that even Sen No Rikyuu2 would love this place.

「Man, she’s late.」

It’s been about 15 minutes since lunch break started, and about 10 minutes since I left the classroom, but Kanzaki still hasn’t appeared yet. She might unexpectedly be having a hard time teaching. What the heck is Maihama making her do? Because of this I haven’t eaten my lunch yet. I’m ready to say “thank you for the meal”, as it’s been ingrained in my behaviour. There’s nothing wrong with how my mother raised me. Becoming a loner doesn’t count towards anything.

Unrelated to her imperfections, my displeasure with my blonde haired classmate grew with I was glaring at my watch, and then I heard the sound of the doors opening. Kanzaki’s definitely not at fault this time. Therefore, I want to behave maturely here.

「Good work. Took awhile huh?」

「….Hmph.」

Kanzaki turned her face away while puffing out her cheek in response to my greeting that contained appreciation. Oh she is so childish and lovely……. not.

「….Are you mad about something?」

「I wonder.」

I wonder what’s wrong. Let’s try changing my question.

「Can you give me a hint?」

「What if you tried to think about it yourself?」

She’s definitely angry about something…..

And she told me to think about. I didn’t even understand even after thinking about it, but she didn’t tell me when I asked. Even so, if I were to say my own thoughts, it would be met with an excessive amount of unrelated complaints.

………I’m in a hard pressed situation still though. When will the bugs in this game called life be patched out?

However, even while thinking like that, I do have an idea of why she’s like this. I don’t have too think too deeply either.

「Other people misunderstand. You actually are irritated when you’re asked to teach stuff that they should’ve learned right? You’re smarter than Maihama after all, I can understand your feelings.」

It’s a mystery as to why I’m using Maihama as an explanation, but right now her irreparable mood is such a pain. This angel, where did she put that smile full of kindness and affection?

「Huh? What are you saying? That makes it sound like I’m completely mad at Rin.」

「Eh…….. Am I wrong?」

「Getting mad at my best friend for something like that, I’m not that shallow of a person you know? That being said…….hmph. Shinomiya, is that the kind of person you thought I was?」

Ah, so they were best friends. Then that distance between them maks sense!

…….What should I do. I just ended up jumping in a pool of oil.

Kanzaki grabbed a folding chair that was near the entrance, placed it on the opposite side of the long table to me, and took a seat. She wants to have the largest distance between us possible I guess. If I moved my chair a little, then I’d look like one of those rich guys you’d see in T.V. dramas at the head of the table right? It’s possible that we can reenact that kind of scene even with this unpleasant atmosphere.

………This is not the time to try to escape from reality.

「No, that’s not how I think of you……wait then what’s the reason then?」

「Who knows? Maybe if I hit you in the chest you’ll understand?」

「So is it something about me?」

Because it was pointless to dig a new hole, I asked myself that. The only response I got was the throbbing of my heart which felt very fragile. I’ve got no time to dream.

「…….It’s hopeless. I don’t get it at all.」

To my grumbling, Kanzaki abruptly stood up and moved her seat to the area opposite of her. In the end, although she was now on the same side as me, the original distance between us did not change.

「Even though someone took the time to tell you “Don’t sleep”, you ignored it」

「Aah-……huh? That’s what you’re mad about?」

I unconsciously asked that after hearing that anti-climatic reason. Isn’t that trivial? I can no longer understand the standards for someone’s dignity.

「What’s with that response. You probably don’t know how I feel but, it’s a fact that you ignoring what I said hurts」

「People can’t win against drowsiness so there’s no helping it you know?」

「Are you saying that my “fight!3” message, meant to give you Adenosine4, was unnecessary?」

「Don’t twist my words. Also what’s with that scientific word」

「It’s a substance related to sleep. Well, there’s no way you’d know since you were sleeping」

「Last class was math though. Also, there’s no way that sleep and that are related」

「I made a mistake. Shinomiya is a humanities only student」

Kanzaki emphasized a certain part. Wow, she just made a really dumb face just now. Isn’t it possible to call you a fallen angel now? I want to show that face to the boys from earlier.

「Why do you even know I’m sleeping in the first place? Your seat is diagonally ahead of mine isn’t it?」

「Isn’t it a given that I’d be looking?」

「No, during class. I know I’m saying this even though I was the one sleeping, but pay attention to the class. Look at the blackboard. Why are you able to give me that “you don’t even know that?” kind of condescending response.」

Even though she said “eeh~ didn’t you listen to the lesson?” to Maihama. Was this a high-grade boomerang?

「I can understand the most of the material if I look at the textbook.」

「……..what a gifted girl….」

It seems like the common sense of ordinary people does not apply to the top student of the class. I see. Is this why I don’t understand everything even when I also read the textbook every now and then? Then it’s not a matter of not putting in enough effort, but a matter of being dumb.

「Aahー What should I doー At this rate I’ll be in a bad moodー.」

With suggestive glances, Kanzaki looked at me. It’s too unnatural if you say it monotone like that. Even the principals who are the type to wait for the students to quiet down when they’re in front of them hide their feelings better.

「It seems like nothing will get fixed if you don’t listen to what I sayー?」

At last, the extremely long monologue ended with a question mark. In other words, she wants that to happen.

「…..What do you want me to do?」

After asking her as she wanted, Kanzaki had a large grin on her face. What a pain.

「First, come here.」

「…..Roger that.」

Saying that, I stood up while also lifting up my seat, and moved over to Kanzaki’s right side.

「Okay, here.」

She passed over a familiar, small insulated grocery bag. Her bento lunch and thermos should be inside.

It’s Kanzaki’s lunch set, so to speak.

「….You want me to eat?」

「Nope. Feed me.」

「No, I’m going to have to retort your joke with everything I’ve got. If I were to eat up your lunch…… what did you just say?」

Ahaha, this isn’t a funny situation, but I feel like I can hear laughing.

「I said “Feed me”.」

Kanzaki took out her two-box bento and thermos out from the lunch set she passed to me and placed them on the table as she said that but it wasn’t until she opened up a small bundle and handed me a pair of chopsticks while saying “Here” that reality started to sink in. Eeh…… you weren’t going to do it but rather you’re making someone else do it.

「I’m hungry so hurry up.」

「I’m also hungry though.」

「Then all the more reason to hurry up. Come on, I won’t let you eat if you don’t feed me you know?」

「…..And what if I refuse this demand?」

「You can’t. This was your proposal after all.」

「Figures……」

Being persistent until the end, Kanzaki raised her voice just a bit. In order to keep her happy, things ended up as I proposed. Predicting my hesitation through her monologues is super unfair. She has the nerve to lead my around by my nose with kindness similar to my angel’s. Thanks to that, this situation is similar to my mother taking care of me as a child.

…….I guess I have no choice but to do it.

For the time being I took off the lid of the bento, and various side dishes like tamagoyaki5, potato salad, and such appeared in my vision. Because there was nothing in my stomach, it was unavoidable that my appetite would grow from this sight.

「Then, first I want some tamagoyaki.」

「…..Sure thing.」

Picking up the tamagoyaki with the chopsticks she passed over, I brought it towards Kanzaki’s mouth. Being the one who suggested it, Kanzaki took the food in her mouth with no hesitation at all. Although she’s the one who suggested this, does she not have any pride as a human, making someone else feed her like she’s an animal?

「Yup! It turned out well today too. Ah, this tamagoyaki you see……. was made by me!」

「Wowー」

Naturally, my gaze moved and stopped on the lunch box. My eyes arrived at the tamagoyaki, and their shape was indeed not broken. Even when looking at them with my untrained eyes, I can understand that they’ve been made well.

「Staring at them like that…..Do you perhaps want to eat some?」

「No, I don’t really want to.」

「It would be better if you were more honest at times like this. I don’t think it’s weird for a boy to want to eat their girlfriend’s homemade cooking you know.」

「Wanting to eat my own lunch first is also not weird right? If anything it’s natural right?」

Kanzaki didn’t listen to what I said, and at some point took the chopsticks from my hand and picked up some tamagoyaki. She raised it up in the air. Hey, listen when someones talking.

「Here, say ‘Aaa’.」

Once again without hesitation, she brought the tamagoyaki closer to me. I was concerned about her unnecessary words but, all I had to do was let it in my mouth and chew. Letting this situation continue has more disadvantages than losing my dignity as a person for a moment. Let’s just be quiet and obey her instructions here. I played it cool and didn’t make a sound, but still opened my mouth wide enough for the tamagoyaki to fit.

However, once the tamagoyaki was just at my mouth, it suddenly went away. Once again, it became Kanzaki’s nourishment.

「ーーーーKiーdding. Fufu, I’ve always wanted to try doing that~」

「……That’s good. Your wish was fulfilled.」

I just remembered that she was this kind of girl. Pulling pranks like this without any hesitation, where the hell did the angel I saw go? No matter how you see it, she’s a devil. A devil I say. A boy’s pure heart is not something to toy around with!

「一Muguu!?」

「By the way I also wanted you to eat it you know?」

Kanzaki broadly grinned at me and laughed as I let out a sigh after eating the tamagoyaki she stuffed into my mouth. Even though I said she was a devil, she’s actually a little devil6. Well aren’t you glad, your wish came true. I would’ve liked it if I could eat with my own hands though, since my mouth was tore apart.

……Wait that was an indirect…..

「How was it?」

「How was it…..? Eh, wait, how was it?」

My eyes automatically turned towards her captivating lips. I didn’t think she’d ask about my thoughts. In this situation, being Japanese, I don’t have any gentleman-like responses prepared. Help! Help me Google-sensei! Perhaps I was unable to hide my jumbled inner thoughts, but Kanzaki let out a chuckle and showed me a smile as I was busy trying to come up with a response.

「I’m asking about the taste you know, the taste. You tasted it properly didn’t you? Or, were you perhaps thinking about something else~?」

「……I wasn’t.」

This girl definitely understood. It was my fault for looking at a specific point for some time though. I answered her question this time while pulling my seat, that had been brought closer to her, back to it’s original spot.

「It was delicious. This is just my personal taste but, it was easy to eat because it wasn’t too sweet.」

「Well of course. In order to make it easy for you to eat, I seasoned it like that.」

「Why am I the one the lunch is for……」

「Fufu, aren’t you happy you have a girlfriend who can cook?」

「If you say it yourself then your score becomes 0.」

「Isn’t that too big of a minus in points!? It’s not proportionate with the main cause!」

「I hate people who sing their own praises after all. I’ve seen countless people like that since I was younger.」

「Can you stop with that real talk!?」

From the eyes of a loner, I let out my complaints in regards to the many boastful classmates I’ve had since I didn’t have to worry about anyone else overhearing. Who’s the social outcast here. But, that’s already at the level of misanthropy7. Despite hating each other, they put smiles on their faces and act friendly. Going beyond just fear, it’s at the level where they just arbitrarily enjoy the thrill of knowing that everything will crumble soon. Don’t enjoy it that much.

「I only act like this in front of you Shinomiya, so it’s okay.」

「It’s possible for me to dislike you too you know.」

「………………………..No way.」

The calm expression in front of me instantly crumbled in response to my words. I decided to recover the situation, since the chopsticks looked like they were about to fall too.

「No, that was a joke. I’m not the kind of person who can act normal in front of people I hate.」

「T-that’s true. Someone who doesn’t care and does as they see fit surely won’t act normal.」

「….a few too many words there.」

Don’t let out a natural poison like that so vigorously. They didn’t have any ill will behind them, which made them all the more vicious.

I repeatedly brought the contents of Kanzaki’s lunch box to her lips for 20 minutes. When she was finally done eating, I put her lunch box on the table. Wait a sec, our hour long lunch break is already half way done. Even though I still haven’t eaten yet.

「Finally…….」

While opening up my bento on the table, I was filled with a mysterious sense of accomplishment. I think that humanity should definitely carve into their minds the blessing that is being able to take doing what’s normal for granted. If you think about it with this bento, then it’s on a smaller scale.

「Shall I feed you?」

「Stop it. I’ll fall into a swamp, seriously. Anyways, unlike you, I can eat by myself.」

「No wait it’s not like I can’t eat by myself though!?」

Looking directly at the seat next to me, I rejected Kanzaki’s proposal without any hesitation. There’s another reason besides it taking a long time to be fed by someone else. She’ll want to continue to do it and will become addicted to a sense of superiority, so it’s better if I’m not easygoing here.

「Well, if that’s what you want then I’ll take a nap, since it doesn’t bother you.」

「I’ll wake you up when lunch is over, so do as you like.」

Anyone will get sleepy after a meal, but this honours student is always firm about not sleeping during class. If it’s me though, I’ll properly sleep during 5th period. Properly.

「ーーーThen, I’ll take you up on that offer.」

With a teasing smile on her face, coupled with that voice, weight was added to my left shoulder. The back of my neck was assaulted by a ticklish sensation.

「…….Didn’t you say you wouldn’t bother me?」

「Yup. Unrelated to whether or not you eat your lunch, I’ll use you as a pillow. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with this situation?」

「Can you stop including tricks in everyday conversations?」

I don’t understand. I’m sure that even that elementary detective who solves murder cases everyday would be tricked by her8.

「Also, it’s hard to eat like this.」

Because my left arm was restricted in terms of how far it can move, I couldn’t hold my bento box. If it was her shoulders or something then I could bite those though. That definitely won’t happen though, because Kanzaki isn’t that kind of gal character.

「Then let me feed you? It doesn’t matter to me either way though.」

「……….I understand. I’m already a pillow.」

「That’s good then.」

Right after surrendering, I came up with some suggestions myself. However, these will be kept to myself forever. Even though I planned to use some wings9 on myself, my bones and muscles will end up coagulating.

「You’re kind of stiff.」

「Leave me alone. In this stressful society, my stiff shoulders will never relax. Anyways, if you don’t like it then I have a pole you can use instead.」

「No, it’s calming so this is fine.」

「What a bothersome complainer. …….until when will you show signs of exhaustion?」

「Did you say something?」

「Nope. Just talking to myself.」

「Fufu, that kinda suits you.」

「………Are you trying to start a fight?」

After that conversation ended, silence was once again invited into the clubroom, but because I could hear the sound of Kanzaki’s sleeping breaths close to my ear, it never came.

In the end, I didn’t finish my lunch, and since my little sister would get angry if I brought back leftovers, and because I was still hungry, I finished my lunch alone in the literature club’s club room after school. Despite how it sounds, that kind of “Solitary gourmet10” impression is kinda nice isn’t it? Thanks to that, my monologue skill has improved.

……It’s pretty useless though.

Chapter 1 – Part 2 | Index | Chapter 2 – Part 1

Wabi-Sabi (詫び寂び) – an aesthetic sense in Japanese art centered on the acceptance of transience and imperfection .Sen no Rikyuu – some old japanese dude that had a big influence on the japanese “Way of Tea”A phrase of encouragement, i.e. keep fighting you got this!Chemistry ahhhhhhYou see it in anime a lot Little devils being more playful/teasing than normal devils to not like/trust humansMaybe a reference to detective conan or something? Not sure. Could be a reference to the Chimaera Wings from DQ.Could be a reference to this manga series

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