Chapter 82

Liu Qi was surprised to see Yan Feili return, “Xiao Yan, why are you back? How have you been in Beitang Wang’s other courtyard these few days? Did Beitang Wang embarrass you?”

“No.” Yan Feili smiled and jumped off the horse. “Where is Ya’er?”

“The girl and Xiao Yuan went to the horse farm to look after the horses.”

“Is there a sick horse?”

“No. It’s just that there are two mares with colts. I will let Yuan Qing go and see.”

Liu Qi followed him to the stable, tie the horse, and look at him carefully. “Strange… Xiao Yan, I think you are somehow different?”

“I am?” Yan Feili was puzzled, standing still, swaying Liu Qi around him twice, and looking up and down. He felt somewhat funny, “What are you looking at? Where am I different?”

Liu Qi scratched his head, “I can’t say that.”

When Yan Feili came back today, Liu Qi saw him looked comfortable, behaved calmly, and brought a hint of supernatural taste. It was like a cat that had stolen a fish because it was too lazy to look for a meal. And the look between the eyes was so extraordinary that only a fool would miss it.

Yan Feili didn’t know this. In these few days, he was as happy as a god, surrounded by both a lover and a son.

“A’Qi, I’m tired. I’ll go back to the house and take a rest first.”

“Okay. I’ll call you at dinner.”

Yan Feili had been lingering with Beitang Ao these past days and nights. When he rode back on an hour’s journey, his body seemed to fall apart. The bones of the body were clamoring in pain.

Back in the house, he fell on the bed and became unable to get up afterward. He analyzed his body and found that although his breath was smooth, it was not good enough. Unconsciously, his hands rubbed his cheeks and forehead, thinking of these few days where there was a face that slept on the pillow beside him with the smooth and soft skin and the long black hair like ink. Yan Feili was surprised to find that, besides being more mature, that person turned out to be as cold as when they met at the beginning of twelve years ago.

Compared to Beitang Ao, he was really old. The years left all kinds of marks on him without mercy as if he was afraid that he would forget. Yan Feili kept reminding Beitang Ao about the decline of his body function. If it weren’t for the few remaining successes, Yan Feili didn’t know what he would look like at this moment.

Over the years, he hadn’t stopped practicing qigong* but he had not made any progress since his internal strength recovered. Yan Feili knew that his skills were no longer a matter of diligence. Presumably, this was what Qiu Yeyuan said at the beginning: that his body was too damaged and the root of the disease will never cure.

*qigong = a type of breathing exercise with assumed medical benefits

Although Yan Feili was exhausted, he fell on the bed, yet unable to fall asleep, just looking straight at the top of the bed.

With his body, he was afraid that he had lost a lot of life. Staying by Beitang Ao’s side, he didn’t know how long he can be happy. That person was blessed, who cultivated his inner strength and was born with a good appearance, which made people look upon him. In comparison, Yan Feili was just a mortal, how can he be worthy of standing side by side with that person?

It was not that Beitang Ao was arrogant and indifferent but his image was as pure as a moon in Yan Feili’s heart. It often made him feel that the bright moon in the sky should not be with him.

Yan Feili sighed and touched the red marks on his chest without much thought. This morning, Beitang Ao had left more of his marks there. The red marks were itchy and slightly painful. His desire was so strong that he can hardly cope with it. Happiness came too fast and always made people feel unreal. Sweet and affectionate when we were together, but once apart, Yan Feili can’t help but doubt it.

Yan Feili turned over and pulled the bedding over his body. Don’t think about it and take a good rest!

***

Beitang Ao stayed on Hui’er beside for the night. It was not easy for the child to get better, so he remembered he had not seen Lin Yanyan, but when he asked, she was studying the scriptures in the Buddhist Hall.

He said to her, “You are still in the mood to recite scriptures here!?”

Beitang Yaohui had been ill for several days. At first, everyone didn’t take it seriously, just treating it as a fever. They didn’t panic until he was in a coma all day and night with red rashes on his body. His steward went to ask Wang Fei for instructions. Lin Yanyan gave him a token and then he went to the palace to ask an imperial doctor for treatment only to realize that it was smallpox. The steward didn’t know how to deal with the situation and sent someone to call Beitang Wang back.

“I am chanting scriptures here for Hui’er.” Lin Yanyan faced the Buddha statue with a solemn expression.

“He doesn’t need you to pray for blessings. As long as you accompany him by his side, he will heal soon.”

“If I stay with him, he will heal soon?” Lin Yanyan turned her head, her expression was very strange. “If I stay with him all the time, he won’t get sick? Won’t he be uncomfortable?”

Beitang Ao looked at her appearance, suppressed his anger, and said solemnly, “You are his mother, just you by his side will make him feel better. Hui’er is sick now, aren’t you worry?”

“What’s wrong with him?”

“He has smallpox!”

“Smallpox?” Lin Yanyan covered her sleeves and laughed, her voice was still delicate and very pleasing. “Husband, you are mistaken. Hui’er already had smallpox. You can only get smallpox once in your life. How can Hui’er get smallpox again?”

“Yanyan, who are you talking about? Who are you praying for?” Beitang frowned.

“I’m talking about Hui’er. Wang Ye, I’m praying for Hui’er, for our Hui’er.”

Beitang Ao took a step forward and grabbed the drum stick she put in front of the Buddha’s hand drum. Underneath was a pair of small shoes, beautiful and small baby shoes with peony embroidered on the upper part. Beitang Ao glanced at it and understood.

Lin Yanyan pursed her mouth and said, “Wang Ye, do you think Hui’er would like the little shoes I embroidered for him? I often wonder if he will be cold in that place alone, or not. How uncomfortable he would be without me beside him.”

“Yanyan! Do you mean it!?” Beitang Ao asked in a cold voice, hiding his eyes.

Lin Yanyan seemed to be stunned, staring at him for a while, then recovered and stood up abruptly, “Do I mean it? No, I did not mean it. Why should I go to see that kid? Why should I stay with him? He is not Hui’er! He is not my Hui’er!”

“Shut up!”

“I won’t! I don’t want to shut up! My Hui’er is dead, he died half a year ago! He got his smallpox from that wild animal! But that wild animal survived and my Hui’er is dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead! Dead!!! Ah─” Lin Yanyan screamed.

A little figure ran into the quiet backyard. Yesterday he wanted to see Beitang Yaohui, but since he came back yesterday, the maid and the old mother refused to let him in. He didn’t even see him, so he wanted to come here to find and ask the father to take him and see Beitang Yaohui. But as soon as he approached the Buddhist Hall, he heard the scream of the Mother Concubine.

“Stop screaming! Lin Yanyan, please calm down!” Beitang couldn’t bear it and stopped her.

Lin Yanyan stopped abruptly and stared at him, her eyes full of resentment and unwillingness, “Three years ago, you hugged that wild animal in front of me and told me that it was your son. You gave him the name Beitang Ri! Half a year, Hui’er died and you took in another child and told me to raise it as Hui’er? Haha, is he another one that your wild women gave birth to outside? You won’t even tell me about that wild animal’s mother. What do you want from me? My son is dead, why should I raise a son for someone else!?”

In the end, she couldn’t help crying in grief and anger.

Beitang Ao saw the sad being and soften his heart. He sighed and said, “Yanyan, I can’t say who his mother is but I can tell you that he is indeed not my flesh and blood. But I hope you can raise him as your child. I hope he can become Hui’er and make you happy. ”

“He can’t replace Hui’er! He will never be my Hui’er! “Lin Yanyan finished speaking in hatred, and then added, “But I can raise him. I know you brought him back, there must be a purpose. I will not ask, I can treat it as not knowing. He can become Beitang Yaohui, your second son, but never expect me to treat him as the real Hui’er. No one can replace him in my heart! He and that wild animal will never be my sons!”

“Enough! Ri’er and Hui’er are both my sons, so you are not allowed to scold them like this!”

“Hahaha…” Lin Yanyan laughed again, “I forgot. He is indeed your precious son. I have been wondering for so many years, who on earth gave birth to him? What is the relationship between him and Yan Feili? Why did you put your child with him in the first place and still recognize him as a foster father? ”

“Yanyan, you still don’t give up! What do you want to know? “Beitang Ao looked cold.

“What can you do if I don’t give up, my son is dead…” Lin Yanyan’s eyes seemed to be a little dazed but only for a moment, she regained her clarity. “I’m just wondering why the general leave like that? And you weren’t bothered about it? I just want to know what happened between you two?”