Chapter 1

A few large raindrops pierced through the cloud layer and fell heavily on my face, bringing a refreshing, heart-soothing coolness. In the next moment, more raindrops plummeted from the sky at high speed. The rain hit the dry soil, and the smell of freshly wet earth immediately invaded my nose.

It started raining.

My gaze passed through the branches of the trees, fixing on the gray, overcast sky. I thought to myself: Finally, it’s raining. After a month and a half of scorching heat and drought in Moscow, it’s time for some coolness.

The surroundings were quiet. I strained my ears, but heard nothing except the pattering of the rain and the gentle rustling of leaves in the breeze. Where had Andrei gone? And where were all the people who were swimming just now?

I tried to move to sit up, but as soon as I did, a sharp pain shot through my abdomen, making me groan involuntarily. I hit my head just now, so why is my abdomen so painful? Did I hit a rock when I fell?

"Lida." As I groaned, a rough, weathered face suddenly appeared before me, startling me. He had a pair of upturned mustaches and was wearing an exaggerated old Soviet military cap. Who was he calling? Lida, that’s a woman’s name. He couldn’t be calling me, I’m a man.

"Senior Lieutenant... Comrade..." My mouth somehow uttered these two Russian words. What’s going on? I didn’t even open my mouth, so it couldn’t be me speaking. If it wasn’t me, then who was it?

"How are you feeling?" he asked with concern.

"Zhenya is dead?" I asked again. Who is Zhenya? The name sounds unfamiliar; it must not be someone I know.

The Senior Lieutenant nodded: "We have nothing left now, no guns, no bullets, and now even Zhenya is gone." Hearing their conversation, I felt like I was having a hallucination. I wanted to bite my finger to test if this was real, but the pain in my abdomen immediately reminded me that everything I was seeing was real.

"Just like that... she’s dead?"

He tore off his cap and pounded his head fiercely: "I’m in pain, my heart is in pain, Lida, it hurts so much! I’ve betrayed you, I’ve betrayed all five of you. But for what, just for those dozen German devils?" Oh my God, how did German devils come into the picture? What’s going on? Could I have traveled through time?

"Why do you say that... The situation is clear, it’s not your fault." Because of the excitement, my breathing quickened. Hearing this, I understood what was happening. It seemed there were two souls in the body I was in: one was me, who could hear but not speak; the other was the original owner of the body, the female soldier named Lida.

"That day you asked me: How did you run into the German devils in the forest?"

The weathered Senior Lieutenant nodded.

"I went to the city to see my son. He’s three years old, named Alik. He lives with my mother, who is very ill and may not survive until the end of the war."

"Don’t worry, Lida, I understand everything."

Lida continued to moan as the Senior Lieutenant pulled away her hand covering the wound and examined the injury on her abdomen, then tightly held her hand.

"Vaskov!" So this Senior Lieutenant is named Vaskov, but why does this name sound so familiar?

"Call me Fyodor, or like my mother used to call me: Fyoka."

"Fyoka, can... can you grant my last request?"

"No." The two of them were talking in riddles, and I couldn’t understand what they were saying at all.

"I’m in so much pain, I don’t even have the strength to speak..."

"I’ll go and scout, and then I’ll carry you back to our unit."

"It’s too late. Take out your pistol..."

Vaskov instinctively covered his holster.

"Do you want me to die in pain?"

Vaskov looked at the increasingly weak Lida in shock. He could see that she was really in bad shape, but he couldn’t do it.

"Or, let the German devils shoot me?"

Vaskov shook his head in pain.

"Then, you do it."

Lida knew her condition; she had no hope. Her whole body felt like it was on a hot iron, and a cold, bottomless pit was waiting to swallow her, with death sitting in the deepest darkness. She could almost feel its icy breath. She didn’t cherish her life; there was nothing to run from.

Seeing that Vaskov wouldn’t do it, she said, "The gun."

No way, Lida wants to commit suicide. I can feel all her pain, and if she kills herself, I’m done for too. I shouted loudly: No! But no sound came out. I could only watch helplessly as events unfolded.

Vaskov, perhaps unable to bear it any longer, slowly pulled out his pistol and handed it to Lida. But Lida didn’t have the strength to hold it, and it fell to the ground.

"Help me." Lida’s voice was so weak it was almost inaudible.

Vaskov bent down to pick up the gun from the ground, but then panicked and dropped it again.

"Fyoka, are you scared?" Lida smiled sadly.

Vaskov picked up the gun again. He opened the magazine and said, "There are only two bullets left."

Lida closed her eyes and said weakly, "Point... the gun at me..."

Vaskov pointed the gun at Lida’s temple. She gestured for him to put her finger on the trigger. Vaskov did so silently.

Lida closed her eyes in satisfaction. When she opened them again, she suddenly said to Vaskov, "Kiss me." Vaskov awkwardly leaned down and tentatively touched Lida’s forehead with his lips. Although Vaskov kissed Lida, I, inside Lida’s body, felt a chill. I couldn’t bear a kiss from someone of the same sex.

"Really hurts..." Lida closed her eyes again and uttered the last two words of her short life: "Go."

Vaskov took a few steps away and sat down under a tree, turning his back to Lida.

This scene felt so familiar, a sense of déjà vu. The thought suddenly flashed through my mind, but I couldn’t recall where I had seen it before.

Lida closed her eyes, tears streaming from the corners. Her finger slowly pulled the trigger.

A muffled gunshot rang in my ear, and then I lost consciousness again.

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