Chapter 8 - Guanju

Proofreader: Nanoni

A smile appeared on Feng’er’s face as they passed through Guanju Hall.

Guan! Guan! Cry the fish hawks on an islet in the river. The elegant virtuous maiden— the noble person would love to marry her. 1

Guanju Hall is an elegant name but what it teaches is how to enjoy pleasure. 2

She suddenly recalled Brother Jin who seemed to have been thrown away by her when she visited her mother in excitement. She bloodied the boy and yet she left him hanging.

She once heard from her nanny that when Brother Jin was a child, his father went into the army and died while still strapped onto his horse. His mother could not remarry nor survive while taking care of him, so she sold Brother Jin to the Garden and used that money as her dowry to remarry into a new family.

When he was a child, Brother Jin had thick eyebrows and big eyes. His clever, sensible, and small appearance was quite popular. He was originally cultivated by the Young Master to become the new male pet but after he danced the “Wu Shao,” 3 he became more heroic and his body teemed with robust masculinity. The male pets even laughed and often made fun of his body. They cracked a joke that if a war ever erupted again, he’d be the first to be conscripted in the Garden. While he’d be forced to fight in the war, the other boys would have no choice but to serve as military prostitutes.

Brother Jin did not get angry. He was an honest person and did not hesitate to use his legs and feet instead for hard work. He was only two years older than Feng’er but he’s very mature in dealing with other people’s matters. The Young Master also no longer taught him how to serve a man since that time. He sent him to Madam Yugu to learn, so that he could be entrusted to run errands within the Garden.

Feng’er remembered that last year, Brother Jin’s mother suddenly appeared. She was critically ill and wanted to see the son she sold before she died. She secretly peeked at the skinny woman who grabbed Brother Jin’s hands while apologizing in tears. She even knelt down, but Brother Jin stopped her and said, “I’m living very well. You don’t have to feel burdened.”

Throughout the whole meeting, he never called the woman “mother.” Feng’er felt that the woman must’ve died in peace.

She couldn’t help herself and asked Brother Jin, “Do you not hate your mother, Brother Jin? She sold you as a male pet so why did you forgive her?”

Brother Jin grabbed her little hand and swayed it as he replied, “I don’t hate her. She had no other choice. If she didn’t sell me at that time, us mother and son would have starved to death.”

Feng’er didn’t quite understand and tilted her head in deep thought. When Brother Jin saw her like this, he further explained it to her, “What I hate is war. The chaos brought by war. If there was no war, how could have it been possible for my father to be conscripted to the army? And return with his corpse not even intact? Supposing my mother did not sell me, I would have grown up like every other boy outside the Garden. I would’ve taken a wife and have children, there would be no need for one to be shamefully trained in Guanju Hall like in here…”

A shameful training, this was Brother Jin’s straightforward explanation of Guanju Hall training to Feng’er.

She didn’t know if it was truly shameful or not. She remembered the few days when Brother Jin just began training. Everyday he came out, he would suddenly vomit on the flowerbed nearby. He was never exactly good at eating a whole cucumber root. And sometimes, he would walk while supporting his waist, clamping his legs as if his buttocks were broken.

Feng’er felt she was truly fortunate whenever she thought about Brother Jin and his mother’s deeds. Even though the world was turbulent, even if her mother was a prostitute and she, as well, will grow up to become a prostitute; although she could not meet with her mother in the Garden often, at least, the two of them, mother and daughter pair, can live together without worrying about their food and clothing. It was a far cry from those children without mothers.

Feng’er slowly returned to Chun Hui House with Brother Jin in her thoughts. Meanwhile, Brother Jin had been waiting for her at the door of her room for a long time.

When Yumei saw that Brother Jin was there, she said a few words to him and left immediately to return to Run Niang’s place.

He hurriedly pulled Feng’er into the room and put her bottocks on the stool. She felt that the bottom of her butt was soft. She looked down and saw that there was a cushion placed on the stool.

“Where did this come from? It’s so soft and comfortable!” Feng’er twisted her buttocks but the menstrual belt rubbed against her flower point, and the sudden pleasure almost made her hum.

“Young Master gave it to me. I almost broke my backyard during training back then and couldn’t sit on a stool. Young Master felt sorry for me so he gave me this. This has become useless to me now. You have to remember not to sit on a cold surface in the future. So this cushion is just perfect for you. Come on and drink this.”

As Brother Jin spoke, he brought a bowl of hot liquid medicine to Feng’er’s mouth. When she smelled it, she could taste the bitterness of it without having tasted it in her mouth yet. She was always afraid of bitterness and hated taking medicine, so she frowned and asked, “What’s this?”

Brother Jin put on an expression of “a dog biting Lu Dongbin” 4 and said to Feng’er, “This is a good thing. I specially ran to Jiuxuan Hall 5 to buy it. It will relieve your stomach from the menstruation pain!”

Jiuxuan Hall was right next to the Butterfly Garden. It was said that it was built by a hermit divine doctor renowned in the world, who could make an elixir that can treat any disease. However, Feng’er had never seen any divine doctor. She heard that the said doctor was an old patron of the Butterfly Garden so maybe she will see a real body of the Buddha 6 one day.

“It’s not easy to acquire Jiuxuan Hall’s medicine. Other high officials and noble persons had to spare no effort to give benefits for it in gold while only to the poorest of the poor will Jiuxuan Hall medicines be given for free. You, how did you get the medicine? Tell me the truth!” Feng’er took the bowl but didn’t drink it. She squinted her eyes at him with its meaning crystal clear, if you don’t confess then don’t even think of me drinking this medicine.

Brother Jin couldn’t do anything about her stubbornness and merely said to her that he only made the old spinster comfortable before he begged her for the medicine.

“How did you make her comfortable?” Feng’er’s eyes lit up.

“You drink it first!” Brother Jin pretended to be angry, “I’ll tell you after you drink it! So hurry up and drink!”

To Feng’er’s surprise, although it tasted weird with a slight tang, the medicine wasn’t bitter at all. The medicine of Jiuxuan Hall was indeed different, Brother Jin’s sex appeal was not used in vain.

Feng’er gulped down the medicine without a stop then stared at him without even wiping the soup stains on her mouth, eagerly anticipating his confession. Brother Jin was helpless and reached out to wipe the residual stains on the corner of her mouth clean, then shyly told her.

How he anxiously went to buy medicine but the old spinster at the counter teased him, only to say she would not sell it.

How he had begged her repeatedly and how she did agree, but with the condition that he make her happy first.

How he was pulled at the back alley by the old spinster, his trousers pulled down by her, and his soft male root stuffed on her mouth with a suck.

“Did you get hard then?” Feng’er was familiar with the old spinster’s appearance. Even she would be scared if she looked down and saw that appearance, otherwise, how was it possible for her to become an old spinster? She suddenly felt that Brother Jin was pitiful.

“As long as I think of you, I can get hard.” Brother Jin’s words were blunt. Although Feng’er felt embarrassed, she was still curious, so she urged him, “What happened after?”

“After that, she said she did not feel happy since she just sucked me. So I had to give her a good time with the condition that I would not break her body.” 7

“Then what did you do? Did you also rub her like what you did to my flower?”

Brother Jin was suddenly speechless. He stared at Feng’er’s eyes for a moment then touched his crotch. He didn’t know when his little brother had stood up, as if to alert him, ‘ Get out quickly or else you won’t be able to leave at all.’

He got up while covering his crotch and scampered out of the door immediately. “I don’t want to talk about it. I feel dirty just thinking about it, so I’m going back to take a bath.”

Feng’er looked at the bulging lump in his crotch and giggled. The medicine made by Jiuxuan Hall warmed her abdomen, it was so comfortable that she felt sleepy. She simply cleaned up and went to bed afterwards. That night, she dreamt that she produced clouds with one turn of the hand and rain with another 8 with Brother Jin.

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If you’re still feeling thirsty, how about checking out another comedy showbiz smut novel, Overturn The Entertainment Circle with its world on crack? Or if you feel like you want a tame good old romance comedy BL, take a peek at our resident law abiding vampire, In The Name Of Fang . But if you want to boggle your mind in schemes and conspiracies, check out my historical project, Scheme of the Official Descendant .

Eastern W. [Translator]

A witch with a broken broom who’s struggling to fill her empty cauldron. I love reading and sour food too much for my own good.

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“Guan Guan Cry The Osprey” is a preface from one of the oldest poems in history, the book of Song that originated from Southern Zhou. This poem mainly expressed the speaker’s admiration for the girl and his pursuit of her. The first words, ‘Guan-Guan’, is a mating sound made by an Osprey bird. It is said that they cannot be separated, and if one dies, the other pair would die too. The speaker uses the sound of the ospreys to describe his seeking wish for the girl. While the last sentence above tells the readers that since the maiden he is seeking is beautiful and virtuous and he himself is gentle and noble; therefore, they are a perfect match. T/N: An apt but ironic name. Wu Shao ( 舞勺): A kind of literary dance learned by 12-13 year old boys in ancient times. A dog biting Lu Dongbin ( 狗咬呂洞賓): (idiom) to ill-reward a person’s kindness. It came from the proverb of Lu Dongbin, one of the Eight Immortals and a Tang Dynasty scholar who liked to help other people understand the Tao. It means an inability to recognize goodness and repay kindness with vice. Jiuxuan Hall (九玄堂): Nine Mystery Hall; This Hall serves as the apothecary of Butterfly Garden. The word came from the novel 九玄, located in a mysterious parallel world. It’s a school for talented physicians, hermits, or people that play an important role in human society. Real body of the Buddha (真身): True effigy; she’s means the true visage of a divine person, because he is a divine doctor. T/N: Lol. Yes, as you guessed. Old spinster is a virgin. Produce clouds with one turn of the hand and rain with another (翻雲覆雨): made love.