Chapter 60

# 60

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‘At first, you clearly asked me to raise you.’

If I had accepted, would I have become a parent for the first time in my life?

Crack!

At the thought, dozens of cracks appeared on the back of his hand.

It happened again because he had endured without drinking the medicine, despite the cracks earlier.

The shattered pieces of his hand seemed to mock him.

As if telling him, a monster shouldn’t dream of such things. How could someone like you ever raise a child?

Your father raised you as a monster, and your mother went mad because of you.

If you had any conscience, you should have known better.

Lark released the ribbon of Nabiya, which he had been holding, and then clenched his fist tightly.

Children and family.

He knew very well that he shouldn’t entertain such foolish thoughts.

His hand trembled.

He should have taken the medicine, but he left the pain as a punishment for himself.

Perhaps the sharp pain was meant to wake him up, as the memory he had tried to bury resurfaced.

‘Please, please, don’t think about it! Stop it!’

Lark gritted his teeth, trying to erase the memory.

But the more he tried, the more vividly the foolish dreams he once harbored came to mind.

The dream of becoming a husband to a woman and a father to a child.

The time when he had such an impossibly happy dream, that resolve was still fresh.

Even though he claimed not to believe in happiness, he had fallen into a nightmare again.

‘How foolish.’

It made no sense. He was an infinite regressor who would die before turning thirty-one.

Lark had gone mad from the infinite regression and devised a way to be less insane.

He decided to regress to the age of eight forever.

After regressing, he filled his home with people who could help him and locked himself in.

Then he scarred his soul.

He cursed himself to regress to the age of eight, where he would never have to witness his mother’s death again.

That’s how he fled from the most painful moment.

At first, he felt relieved. The idea of dying and starting life over again became a little less terrifying.

He no longer had to kill his mother, who screamed that he was a monster before taking her own life.

He no longer had to deal with his father, who treated him like an animal, and the trash of the family.

He found peace by destroying the illusion of family.

Family. The source of human misery.

"Ah, you’re the head of the Esselered family?"

This time, she appeared in his domain for the first time.

"You’re twenty? Younger than me! Call me ‘sister.’"

She was annoying and irritating.

The phrase "crazy enough to want to die" must have been coined for her.

Seeing her made him feel his own darkness more pronounced.

He wanted the freshness of her first life and the resolve of her last life, things he could never have.

Perhaps that’s why he felt spiteful.

He wanted to see her despair.

That was the only reason he left her alone.

But who would have thought he would fall in love with that absurd girl?

Lark regretted his decision to regress to the age of eight.

He had already scarred his soul once to avoid seeing his mother’s death, and that had ruined his soul, making it impossible to cast the same curse again.

But he didn’t give up.

He found a way, and then another.

This time, he decided to regress to the age of twenty forever.

Thus, the moment he first met her in this life would repeat in every regression.

He could love her forever.

But could his body endure it? A year? A month? Or just a day?

Despite experiencing how hope can give birth to despair, he harbored hope again and was once more plunged into despair.

Having something precious is a terrifying thing.

"So it’s precious, Lark. It’s terrifying because it’s precious, and it’s precious because it’s terrifying. In fact, they’re similar, you know."

The girl said something ridiculous.

But in the end, he couldn’t help but agree.

Yes, he was terrified.

Terrified to the point of being sick.

It was that precious to him...

He covered his eyes with his trembling hand.

If he regressed again, would he see her? How long would he have to endure?

He was furious.

He couldn’t bear to have anything else to fear.

Then this child appeared.

A strange little girl entered the monster’s lair, where he had no more strength to give to anything.

Lark looked down at Nabiya, who was sleeping soundly, unaware of anything.

"Hmm..."

At that moment, Nabiya stirred in her sleep.

Squish.

She not only clung tightly to his clothes but also started pulling at them.

Thanks to that, Lark almost exposed his embarrassing state as his gown’s front opened.

He awkwardly closed it.

Suddenly, he felt deflated.

Even the sky was turning pale, signaling the dawn.

The darkness was lifting, and a new day was dawning.

Time flows regardless of his pain.

The child slept soundly, unaware of how terrifying this place was, while he spent the night in foolish anguish.

‘When did so much time pass?’

He shook his head and muttered softly.

"What a fool."

Suddenly, he felt incredibly foolish, and the situation seemed equally absurd.

‘I should go up to the third floor now.’

Just as he was about to get up, their eyes met.

Lark’s face appeared perfectly expressionless, but he was actually frozen in place.

When his thoughts stopped due to the unexpected situation, Nabiya spoke.

"...Duke?"

Nabiya, still half-asleep, opened her eyes wide when she saw Lark sitting by her bed, a sight she had never expected.

‘Why is the Duke here?’

Ah, this isn’t right.

Nabiya sat up abruptly, trying to show respect, but then hesitated.

‘He dislikes formalities. Would he be displeased if I tried to be formal?’

To be confronted with such a difficult situation so early in the morning, while still half-asleep.

Nabiya, unable to decide what to do, simply bowed her head in greeting.

"Good morning, Duke..."

Even as she greeted him, her mind was racing with guesses about why he was there.

‘...Did I do something wrong?’

Was it because the cake yesterday wasn’t good? While Nabiya was lost in thought, Lark, equally perplexed, suddenly had an idea.

"Are you not working?"

"…What?"

Work? What does he mean by that?

Nabiya blinked, looking at him with a blank expression.

Lark, trying to hide his embarrassment, scowled.

"Have you forgotten that I hired you as a barber?"

"Oh."

"The sun is high in the sky. You’re sleeping soundly instead of thinking about cutting your employer’s hair."

Nabiya lowered her eyebrows awkwardly at Lark’s childish nitpicking.

Honestly...

‘He sounds just like Wood.’

Such a rude thought should never be spoken aloud.

"I’m sorry."

When Nabiya apologized politely, Lark became even more displeased.

He didn’t like seeing that small girl bow and apologize.

"You don’t need to apologize. Just get to work."

So he said.

"Do you want me to style your hair?"

Lark answered confidently to Nabiya’s question.

"Yes."

In truth, he had no intention of getting a haircut.

‘Tsk, might as well cut it now.’

He had grown his hair for a foolish reason.

"You would look good with long hair."

Just because of those words.

He hoped the girl who would return would smile and say, "I knew you’d look good."

So he grew it. For nine long years.

‘It’s enough now.’

This regression cycle would end soon.

So there was no need to keep his hair long anymore.

Honestly, long hair was too inconvenient and annoying.

‘I’ll never grow it long again.’

Lark jumped out of bed.

"Where are you going to cut it?"