C100...

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51. Are you the top or the bottom?

Wu Zhi: …Based on appearances, I look more masculine!

Wu Yuan (looking at him in pity): So, you mean that you lack that inner quality.

Wu Zhi (stung): …I’m not the one who wore a wedding dress in our wedding!

Wu Yuan (looking at him in pity): On your wedding night, you weren’t the top.

Wu Zhi (wilting): …

Ye Qingling (hugging Wu Zhi): That’s meaningless. To me, it’s enough as long as… we’re one… (chuckles quietly)

Wu Yuan (heavily): …Why didn’t I find that very sweet or lewd, but very bloody and dark?

Wu Zhi: (stiffened)

52. How was it decided?

Wu Zhi (in grief and indignation): He’s inhuman…

Wu Yuan (hiding her laughter with a hand): In both meanings, that’s true~

Ye Qingling: I do not mind either position.

Wu Yuan (smiling): But this novel isn’t labelled with a switch cp tag. Comrades, you understand.

Wu Zhi: … (flips the table) What’s with that implication!

53. Are you happy with your current situation?

Wu Zhi: No.

Wu Yuan (smiling): I understand. The supply does exceed your demand.

Ye Qingling: No.

Wu Yuan (smiling): I understand. Your demand exceeds the supply available.

Wu Zhi: (expressionlessly looks at Ye Qingling)

Ye Qingling: (expressionlessly looks at Wu Zhi)

Wu Yuan: (bangs on the table, laughing)

54. The location where you two first had sex?

[Please refer to Chapter 7]

55. How did you feel back then?

Wu Zhi (worn out): …Did he want to kill me?!

Ye Qingling (chuckling softly): I wanted to shove him into my body.

Wu Yuan (covering her eyes): Is this really the feeling of having sex, and not the words of a victim and the perpetrator? Were you guys really doing something loving that has to be censored, and not enacting a murder?

56. How did your partner look then?

Ye Qingling (chuckling softly): I don’t want to answer.

Wu Yuan (immediately): So, let’s immediately jump to the next question!

Wu Zhi: …Try kissing up his ass more, why don’t you?!

57. Your first words when you woke up the morning after your first time?

Wu Zhi (blankly): …I don’t remember.

Ye Qingling: Wu Zhi didn’t talk, and I didn’t either.

Wu Yuan (hiding her grin): I’m not gonna tell everyone that someone was hoarse from [BEEP], and someone else was quietly hard at work XD~

Wu Zhi (spitting out water): Cough cough cough… How did you know that?!

Wu Yuan (chinhands): Oh~ So, that was what happened.

Wu Zhi: …

58. The number of times you guys have sex every week?

Ye Qingling: It depends on Wu Zhi’s physical health.

Wu Yuan: After all, the volume of water contained in a cask doesn’t depend on the longest wood but the shortest one~ Oh hoh, Yezi is the one who answered first this time? (hiding her laughter, side glancing at Wu Zhi) Student Zhizhi, stop counting. You won’t finish counting even after an hour~

Wu Zhi (frozen, then whipping his head up fiercely): …Count, my ass!

59. In the most ideal situation, how many times a week?

Ye Qingling: … (mouth covered by Wu Zhi, looks calmly at Wu Zhi)

Wu Zhi (mouth twitching): …I’m certain, sure and positive I do not want to know his answer.

Wu Yuan (summarizing calmly): In any case, one answer is a positive infinity, and the other is a negative infinity. There won’t be any elaboration.

60. Then, what’s your ideal sex?

Ye Qingling: To be tangled together to death.

Wu Zhi voice: Curses. Although I’m not happy at all, I can’t find anything to refute!

Wu Zhi (flipping the table): Don’t pretend to be me and answer!

Wu Yuan (stopping the dubbing): Then, may we have Student Zhizhi to speak in his defense.

Wu Zhi: …I-Irrefutable… Ye Qingling, will you be happy only when you fuck me until I die?!

Ye Qingling: I won’t. (chuckles lowly) Which is why I’m tightening my hug on you.

Wu Yuan (smiling): This is the so-called endless loop that only ends when the parties are dead.

61. Your most sensitive spot?

Wu Yuan (gravely): Zhizhi, you can shut up.

Wu Zhi: …?

Wu Yuan (gravely): I still want to live a little longer.

Wu Zhi: …

Ye Qingling: … (pushes up his glasses)

62. Your partner’s most sensitive spot?

[Please refer to Question 61]

63. Describe how your partner is during sex in a sentence.

Ye Qingling: This is mine.

Wu Zhi (expressionless): His desire is never satisfied.

Ye Qingling (chuckling softly): Yes. Regardless of whether it’s for sexual matters, food, or my possessiveness.

Wu Zhi (worn out): Why am I still the gloomy one when he’s admitted it…

Wu Yuan (covering her mouth): This is the legendary problem that happens when you have different presence levels.

64. Be honest. Do you like having sex?

Ye Qingling: Mn.

Wu Zhi: I don’t dislike it… Other than when we’re doing it from behind. (beaten-up)

Wu Yuan: It’s easier to go in from the back after all~ Yezi is doing it for your good.

Wu Zhi (in grief and indignance): But I always get tormented the worst during those times!

Wu Yuan (resting chin on hands): At such times, you only need to smile.

65. The usual location you two have sex?

Wu Zhi: On the bed.

Wu Yuan: The usual location you two enjoy your hobbies?

Wu Zhi: …On the bed.

Wu Yuan: The usual location you two eat your meals at?

Wu Zhi: …

Ye Qingling: On the bed.

Wu Yuan (a face full of pity): Zhizhi, is there a time you’re not on the bed?

Wu Zhi (completely despondent): …Can I swear? No? Then, I have nothing to say.

66. A location you want to try having sex at?

Wu Zhi: None.

Ye Qingling: As long as it’s Wu Zhi, it’s enough.

Wu Yuan (resting chin on hands): If you have nothing in mind, does it mean you’ve tried them all?

Wu Zhi: …

Wu Yuan: yooooo~ He’s not refuting XD! All mite-y ZhiYe! The formeetabel ZhiYe! Long leaf ZhiYe, long leaf ZhiYe, long leaf ZhiYe! (All mighty ZhiYe! The formidable ZhiYe! Long live ZhiYe, long live ZhiYe, long live ZhiYe!)

Wu Zhi: Kick this idiot out! Hurry up!

67. Do you take a shower before or after sex?

Wu Yuan: During sex!

Wu Zhi: Fucking hell, am I or are you the one answering!

Wu Yuan (side glancing): Do you dare to say that you’ve never had sex during your shower?

Wu Zhi: …

Ye Qingling: After sex, we’ll take a shower and clean up. (Chuckles softly) Although I’m also very fond of Wu Zhi clenching it in himself…

Wu Zhi (covering Ye Qingling’s mouth firmly): Why are you answering it so naturally aahhh!

68. Do you have any agreement during sex?

Wu Zhi: Where’s the ‘we’ll just do it once’ we agreed on?!

Ye Qingling: Mhm, we only do it once each time.

Wu Yuan (hiding her mouth): The subtext, guys~

69. Have you ever had sexual relations with people other than your lover?

Ye Qingling: Wu Zhi hasn’t, and I haven’t either.

Wu Zhi: …How do you know that?

Ye Qingling (chuckling softly): You won’t have the chance to, be it in the past, in the present… or the future.

Wu Zhi (gritting his teeth): Fuck, I wondered why those girls I dated would either suddenly break up with me, or just straight up disappear before we could hit third base!

Wu Yuan (gravely): Student Zhizhi, haven’t you noticed that you’ve revealed a very shocking piece of information?

Wu Zhi: … =口=!

70. Regarding the idea that “If I can’t have their heart, I have to at least have their body”, do you support it or are you opposed to it?

Wu Zhi: I’m opposed to it.

Ye Qingling: I’m opposed to it.

Wu Yuan/Wu Zhi: (flabbergasted)

Wu Zhi (dazed): …Am I hearing things? That person who’s constantly keeping me in captivity answered that he’s “opposed to it”?

Wu Yuan (dazed): …Am I hearing things? That Yezi who had planned to abduct you answered that he’s “opposed to it”?

Ye Qingling (caressing Wu Zhi’s face with a light chuckle): I will have your body — whether in the past, or right now, I have the capability to do that— And if your body is with me, your heart will become mine too, no matter what method I have to use.

Ye Qingling (hand sliding down to tap Wu Zhi’s heart): Physicalists believe the soul exists through its conjoinment with a physical matter. The “heart”, viewed as a form of the soul, exists in the body. —I am a physicalist. (repeating with a smile) I will have everything that’s you… No matter what method I have to use.

Wu Zhi: …

71. If your partner is ever sexually assau— [BEEP]

Wu Zhi: …

Wu Yuan: …I’ve already very naturally censored this question, as a great contribution to world peace. How lamentable, how tear-jerking, how worthy of celebration… Next question!

72. Will you feel shy before sex? Or after it?

Ye Qingling: I won’t.

Wu Zhi: …I’m already used to it.

Wu Yuan (excited): Gay! Gay! Gay![1] Yezi, Yezi has made extensive contributions! Do not give Zhizhi any chance to feel shy! At this moment, he’s not fighting alone, he’s not alone! He’s facing the gazes and anticipation of all the fujoshis in the world! Long live Yezi!

Wu Zhi (mouth twitching): I do not want to acknowledge that I have blood relations with this person.

73. If a good friend tells you “I’m so lonely, so for just tonight, please…” and ask you for sex, you will…

Wu Zhi (petrified on his seat, avoiding the gaze behind him): …Even if you don’t want to live, don’t drag me to death too.

Wu Yuan (watching Ye Qingling look away in satisfaction, patting Wu Zhi’s shoulder in comfort): It’s really so great that you can be clear-headed. (turns to Ye Qingling) What about Yezi?

Ye Qingling: Dissect them.

Wu Zhi: …

Wu Yuan: …

Ye Qingling (softly): Dissect why they would have such thoughts and actions.

Wu Zhi: …Is it my imagination? I thought he wanted to literally “dissect” that person.

Wu Yuan: …What a coincidence. I had the same thought.

74. Do you think you’re good at sex?

Ye Qingling: No.

Wu Yuan: Yezi is too humble XD

Ye Qingling (raising to look at Wu Zhi, softly): If I’m good at it, Wu Zhi wouldn’t say no to me.

Wu Zhi: …

Wu Yuan (hiding her mouth): Yezi is too good at it, that’s why a certain someone would say no~

Ye Qingling (chuckling softly): Over-perfection is a flaw. Until Wu Zhi can never leave my body, I will continue to hone my skills. (Gently touches Wu Zhi’s face) To satisfy you.

Wu Zhi (numbly): The problem isn’t the quality, but the quantity… Fuck!

75. Then, how do you find each other’s skill?

Ye Qingling: Incomparable.

Wu Zhi (in grief and indignant): Far too good!

Wu Yuan (hiding her laugh): Zhizhi, don’t cry. Stand up and jerk off.[2]

76. During sex, what do you want your partner to say?

Wu Zhi: “Good night”.

Wu Yuan: Hm?

Wu Zhi (gritting his teeth): This means that I. Can. Finally. Pass. Out. And. Sleep…!

Wu Yuan (banging the table in laughter): As the top, Yezi, you’re mighty and formidable! …So, what’s Yezi’s answer?

Ye Qingling: We are one.

Wu Yuan (chinhands): Yezi is always muttering this sentence.

Wu Zhi: That’s why in the end, we did merg… mmph!

Wu Yuan (covering Wu Zhi’s mouth, smiling): We’re having our “happy” 100 Questions right now, dearest little brother.

77. What faces do you particularly like your partner to make during sex?

[Please refer to Question 61]

78. Do you think you can have sex with someone other than your lover?

Wu Zhi (flipping the table): Why are there always dangerous questions like this?! Hell!

Wu Yuan (flipping the table too): Does the person who came up with these questions have something against humanity, or something against humanity, or something against humanity?!

80. If your partner doesn’t seek your body anymore, what will you do?

[Please refer to Question 45]

81. What do you feel about rape?

Wu Zhi: A despicable method.

Ye Qingling: Turn it consensual.

Wu Zhi: … (←the most likely candidate of implementation)

Wu Yuan: … (←the audience+family of the possible victim)

Wu Yuan: Why does Yezi’s tone always sound so matter-of-fact as though he’s correct and right… This aura is too domineering…

Wu Zhi: (covering his face with two hands, instantly stooping forward)

Ye Qingling: (narrowing eyes, embracing the one in his arms, stroking him)

82. What’s something that’s more painful during sex?

Wu Zhi (numbed): My HP is already 0, but his MP is still full.

Ye Qingling (glancing at Wu Zhi, chuckling softly): My MP is still full, but his HP is already 0.

Wu Yuan: =A= So, is this the legendary “suffer defeat in every battle” and “to keep fighting despite constant setbacks”…

83.在迄今为止的H中，最令您觉得兴奋、焦虑的场所是？

吴志：逃跑那次。

吴媛（掩嘴）：哦呀~那次看得大家真是各种láng血沸腾呢~

吴志：（僵住）

叶清灵（轻声）：那时候我很害怕。（轻轻抚着吴志的手背）恐惧让我顺着吴志的味道追上去的同时，也在唆使我去摧毁吴志——是该咬断吴志的舌头让他再也不能和别人说话呢、还是挖去吴志的耳朵让他再也不能与别人jiāo流？——但是当看到吴志的那一刻，我什么都做不出来了。（抱紧吴志）吴志、吴志，我舍不得伤害你，一点都不允许。

吴志（叹息）：我知道，你……别发抖了。

83. Up until now, what was the most exciting and anxiety-inducing location you had sex in?

Wu Zhi: That time where I tried to escape.

Wu Yuan (hiding her mouth): Oh yeah~ Everyone’s blood was really pumping in all sorts of ways when reading that scene~

Wu Zhi: (petrified)

Ye Qingling (softly): Back then, I was very frightened. (caressing the back of Wu Zhi’s hand gently) At the same time the fear made me pursue Wu Zhi’s scent, it also incited me to destroy Wu Zhi — Should I bite Wu Zhi’s tongue off so that he can never talk to others, or should I dig out Wu Zhi’s ears so he can never communicate with others? — But in that instant I saw Wu Zhi, I couldn’t do anything anymore. (Hugging Wu Zhi tightly) Wu Zhi, Wu Zhi, I can’t bring myself to hurt you, not a single bit at all.

Wu Zhi (sighing): I know. You… don’t have to tremble anymore.

84. Has the bottom in the relationship ever seduced the top?

Ye Qingling: Wu Zhi has always been seducing me.

Wu Zhi: … (in grief and indignance) What made you think that? Tell me, I’ll change! Hurry!

Ye Qingling (softly): Every time I see your figure, it’s as if I’ve been controlled by an inescapable power. I yearn to watch you everywhere, to get to know you completely. Starting from every strand of your hair, every part of your skin, every organ, every blood vessel, I’ll look at every single part of you, not missing a single spot — just a breath of yours will give me a sense of… impulsiveness.

Wu Zhi (turning his head expressionlessly): …Is he really confessing his love, and not dissecting a dead body?

Wu Yuan: (nodding gravely)

85. The expression on the top’s face at the time?

[Please refer to Question 84]

86. Has the top in the relationship ever committed sexual assault?

Wu Zhi (recalling): Does the time I tried to escape count?

Wu Yuan (recalling as well): What is known as sexual assault refers to situations where the perpetrator forced sexual relations with the victim either without their consent or if the perpetrator did not care if they consented. It is also known as rape. I remember that Zhizhi did struggle at first. Then, he was pushed down… And then kissed forcibly… And then…

[81. What do you feel about rape?

Ye Qingling: Turn it consensual.]

Wu Zhi, Wu Yuan: (silent in unison)

Ye Qingling: (pushes up his glasses)

Wu Zhi: … (←the candidate who already had the act implemented on him)

Wu Yuan: … (←the audience+family of a real victim)

87. How did the bottom in the relationship react at the time?

Wu Zhi: … (In such great shock that he’s speechless)

Wu Yuan: … (Is so astonished that she’s speechless)

Ye Qingling (narrowing eyes, holding his chin in recall, chuckling softly): Very well-behaved.

Wu Zhi: …(Greatly shocked X2)

Wu Yuan: … (Astonished X2)

88. To you, what is the ideal person you want to have sex with?

Ye Qingling: Wu Zhi.

Wu Zhi: Ye Qingling.

Wu Yuan: Oh? It’s Student Zhizhi’s first time to be so honest~

Wu Zhi (gaze dimming): …If I tell you this question is the same as “the person you want to kill the most”, will you believe me?

Wu Yuan: …I call that into question.

[Wu Zhi’s Bewilder is successful. His words were “true”, thus Wu Yuan loses 1 Health point.]

Wu Yuan: …Could I have a Peach card? TAT

Ye Qingling: (pushes up glasses)

[Wu Yuan dies, her Role is “Older Sister”.]

[P.S. The above is from the game, Legends of the Three Kingdoms. Readers who do not understand, please just disregard this XD]

89. Does your current partner match your ideal type?

Wu Zhi: (gaze still dimmed) …If I say this question is the same as “Do you want to die on the bed?”, what do you think?

Wu Yuan: (still dead)

Ye Qingling (looking at Wu Zhi with a quiet chuckle): I won’t call it into question.

Wu Zhi (feeling like his insignificant self had been enveloped by Ye Qingling’s shadow): …

91. Have you two ever used sex toys?

Wu Zhi (feebly): …Brain juice.

Ye Qingling (composed): Mhm. And blood as well.

Wu Yuan: =口= This is absolutely the most “astonishing” toys in all history of sex scenes. No contest.

92. When did your first time happen?

[Please refer to Question 7]

93. Is your partner then the same one as your current lover?

[Please refer to Question 7]

94. What’s your favorite spot to be kissed?

Wu Zhi: Anything works.

Ye Qingling: As long as it’s Wu Zhi.

Wu Yuan (touching her chin): To a certain degree, you two are synchronized.

95. What’s your favorite spot to kiss?

[Please refer to Question 94]

96. What would make your partner the happiest during sex?

Wu Zhi: …To do it from behind.

Ye Qingling: To stop.

Wu Zhi, Ye Qingling: …

Wu Yuan (hiding her mouth): To the doer, how cruel a thing this is~

97. The number of times you have sex in one night?

[Please refer to Question 58]

99. To you, what is sex?

Wu Zhi: …An activity that leaves me within an inch of my life.

Wu Yuan: …How insightful.

Ye Qingling: A way to merge.

Wu Yuan: =口= This is even more insightful.

100. Please say something to your lover.

Wu Yuan: We’re finally here. The 100 Questions that a certain author had been working on since March! I’ve sat here for 5 months now, curses! 凸=皿= … Come, Student Zhizhi~ Tell Yezi those words you want to say the most.

Wu Zhi: …… (Staring at Ye Qingling)

Wu Zhi: ……, ……Ye Qingling, Wu Zhi is already dead.

Ye Qingling was taken aback. He looked at the person beside him, about to say something but he instantly vanished into thin air. And since the source of the illusion was gone, Wu Zhi who was sitting next to him the whole time immediately broke into pieces and dissipated. Within a second, the grand open space turned desolate and silent. Wu Yuan sat on the sofa, languid, looking up with a smile.

“Aww, the ‘happy’ 100 Questions has ended. The special guests have left too.”

She cocked her head, as if mumbling to the back of the sofa, “Why didn’t you come out? Is it fun to see him perform an entire act by himself? …Mn, although you did step in a few times.”

Wu Yuan curled up on the sofa, like a little girl afraid of the cold.

“Why did you have to make it clear? Isn’t it fine if he stays here for a while longer? It’s such a rare chance for a reunion.”

Wu Yuan snorted:

“Tsk tsk, you’re so cruel, my beloved little bro-ther.”

“……”

“……”

***

Ye Qingling opened his eyes. His vision was a little blurry. Then, he found that he had fallen asleep on the wheelchair’s armrest. Very quickly, his vision cleared. Ye Qingling raised his head slightly, black strands resting on the spectacle rims. Within the eyes that appeared awake, haze muddled the depths of his pupils. He chuckled towards the empty air: “Wu Zhi, I just had a very interesting dream…”

A/N:

It’s finally completed. Curses. QAQ

It didn’t end up as an incomplete work, pfft. This is really a “happy” 100 Questions! [Tone serious. Is shot— Cough cough, alright, you can ignore the final part. I added it in because I wanted to write a more unique 100 Questions. This is a certain Tui’s first time writing a 100 Questions Q&A. It feels like such a failure, dammit TAT…

Translator Note:

[1] Wu Yuan says “JQ”, which is an acronym that could be a lot of things, ranging from 剧情 (plot), 禁区 (forbidden area), 基情 (gay). But given her excitement and mentions of fujoshis later, it seems more likely to be 基情 (gay).

[2] Internet slang. Reference to 屌丝不哭站起来撸 (lit. losers, don’t cry. Stand up and jerk off). There’s a pun in this where 屌丝 (loser) also refers to the male genitalia, so the idea is that, instead of crying, you can gain some comfort from jerking off. It originated from the phrase 少年不哭，站起来再哭 (lit. young man, don’t cry, stand up and continue crying).

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