CHAPTER 18 You were hiding from him

Qin Yan was opposed to this suggestion, but Wu Sisi was supportive of it. As for Yanming, after being motivationally enabled by Fu Changling, he finally joined the supportive team.

And so, the three of them happily went to purchase some wine and poultry. Qin Yan was a forced ally to their team as he joined them in building a fire to roast the meat.

The night was quite pleasant. The four of them were roasting in the courtyard as they ate and chatted.

Fu Changling looked at the way Wu Sisi was wolfing down on her portion meat, and couldn’t help saying, “Senior, this isn’t how you look like in the past, right?”

“Naturally.” Wu Sisi ate as she said, “I was absolutely beautiful in the past. This was all forced on me. When you people can return to the Hidden Realm of Xuanji in the future, you will see how beautiful I am.”

“I’ll pass. I’ll pass.” Fu Changling instantly waved his hand when he listened to those words. “I’d never want to come back to such a place.”

“Understandable,” Wu Sisi sighed. “There’s nothing to come back to in a ghastly place such as this.”

“Senior.” Realising the conversation was taking an unpleasant turn, Fu Changling hurriedly diverted the topic, "Is Ming Xiu Daojun the name of your master?"

“Ah.” Wu Sisi was a little astonished. “You knew?”

“I know.” Fu Changling nodded. "Your portrait is still there in the Theogony of the Ancient Gods. Speaking of which, I am a little curious,” Fu Changling continued after taking another bite. “At that time, why did Ming Xiu Daojun abruptly vanish? Did he die in battle?”

“He didn't die.” Wu Sisi nibbled at the meat. “He went somewhere.”

“The book didn’t mention this,” Fu Changling asked, a little surprised. “Where did he go?”

“You people wouldn’t know about this place.”

Wu Sisi waved her hand. “In any case, that place is especially wretched; there is nothing to eat or wear, and it’s arduous to even swallow your own saliva.”

“Ming Xiu Daojun didn’t have it easy.”

Fu Changling sighed. “Once Ming Xiu Daojun’s seal is broken, you should let him enjoy meat to the fullest.”

“Of course.” Wu Sisi's movements were getting sluggish, her voice a bit gruff. “You have no clue of how many hardships he has suffered.”

“Drink,” At the unpleasant turn of atmosphere once more, Yanming raised his glass, “Let's not discuss solemn matters.”

“Right, right, right,” Fu Changling gladly agreed. “Come, have a cup of wine.”

With that, all of them clinked their glasses together and continued to drink.

Fu Changling cracked a few jokes with all his ability. Wu Sisi was convulsed with laughter. Yanming, too, pursed his lips as he sat at the side. Only Qin Yan was holding his wine bowl with a consistent layer of ice over his eyes, drawing a frosty barrier between them.

After three rounds of drinks, Mayor Wu sent someone to urge Wu Sisi to return to her room. After Wu Sisi left, Qin Yan drank recklessly. Looking exhausted, he wordlessly carried the wine and leapt onto a distant roof.

He sat on the roof by himself, sword placed on his side, as he gazed at the moon hanging high up in the sky behind him, casting its brilliant white radiance over his entire person and creating an unsurpassably beautiful sight.

Yanming quietly looked at him and blurted out suddenly, “Fellow cultivator Qin is a lonely person.”

Fu Changling turned to look at Yanming upon hearing this.

He couldn’t help but snicker. Yanming looked at him strangely, “What are you laughing at?”

“Laughing at how young you are.”

Yanming felt a little upset hearing those words, but he also felt losing temper over such a matter would be childish. He frowned and said, “You and I are about the same age, so what made you say this?”

Fu Changling smiled. He took a sip from the wine and landed his gaze on Qin Yan in the distance.

He felt a strange uneasiness bubbling up from his heart.

Facing Yanming now, he could distinctly feel that he was old. The seventeen year old Yanming in front of him and the one in his memory didn’t seem too different. He was just like a seventeen year old. Except back then, Fu Changling was weaker and could only look up to him. Now, coming back here after living for decades, he only felt that the Yanming of this time, other than sharing similar habits from the one in his memory, was a lot cuter.

But Qin Yan was seventeen years old as well.

Seventeen year old Qin Yan didn't make him feel like he was speaking to someone younger. He inexplicably felt that there really wasn’t much difference between Qin Yan now, Qin Yan in the future, and himself who has lived for more than forty years.

It felt like they were people from the same world—like those deceased souls who have crossed over the Wangchuan River, treaded past the Yellow Spring Road, and came back to the living to watch everything happening again.

This kind of feeling left him a little surprised. He couldn’t understand the reason even after pondering over it for a while. Perhaps, this person, Qin Yan, was born with a profound nature.

“Brother Fu?”

Seeing that he hadn’t replied, Yanming couldn’t help but call out to him once. Fu Changling turned back and hastily said, “Come, come. Drink.”

That said, he raised his cup and tapped it against Yanming’s. He casually asked, “How did you enter the Hidden Realm of Xuanji?”

“Sect duties.”

After saying that it seemed like Yanming started to reminisce. He took another sip and slowly said, “Presently, Shifu is still waiting for me.”

In the previous life, Fu Changling had heard Yanming speak of his shifu a few times. He knew that Yanming’s shifu was a powerful person. He didn’t ask any further, only saying, “Rest assured. Once you get out, as long as he is still waiting for you, prioritize meeting him.”

The hidden realm was a place where one would return to the very same place they had come in from. After speaking, Fu Changling couldn’t help smiling. “But will your shifu wait for you?”

“Yes.” Yanming resolutely said, “He’ll be afraid that something might happen to me.”

“You seem to have a very profound relationship with your shifu.” Fu Changling raised his hands to clap. “I have to applaud.”

Yanming smiled listening to what he said, but that smile faded away soon as if he was thinking of something again. Looking at him, Fu Changling hesitated. Fu Changling knew he had something to say and lifted his gaze at him, smiling as he asked, “What's wrong?”

“Brother Fu.” Yanming hesitated for a long time and finally said, “I often feel you have a lot of things to tell me yet you always bury those words in your heart. You're always smiling, but I feel you actually don't want to smile.”

Fu Changling listened to him speak and without knowing why, he subconsciously made a barrier around them, isolating their conversation from prying eyes of the outside world.

Yanming couldn't sense this barrier. He only creased his brows and said, “If you don't want to smile, you don't have to.”

Fu Changling didn't speak. He looked at Yanming in front of him. At this moment, he finally found, in this person, a shadow of him he’d seen from his previous life.

He gazed at him for a long time. He abruptly realised, in this lifetime, everything that happened was almost similar to what had happened in his previous life. He came to the Shangguan Manor, entered the Hidden Realm of Xuanji, and also met Yanming. Then after getting out, will it be the same as last time? Will he and Yanming forever go separate ways after this?

Thinking this way, he felt a little regretful.

“There are indeed some things I wish to say,” Fu Changling sighed. “It's just that I'm not sure if I should tell you.”

“You could." Yanming clinked their cups, “If you speak it out, you'll feel better.”

“Actually,” Fu Changling lifted his gaze at him, “I was wrong. At that time, the one who saved me wasn’t you.”

Yanming paused. Soon after, he nodded and said, “Indeed, I don’t remember something like this either.”

“You and him are awfully similar. Both of you even have the same name, but you’re not him.” Fu Changling calmly said, “He saved me in a hidden realm. Later we promised to meet again; however, we never met after that. I have a lot of things to tell him, but I can’t say them anymore.”

“What did you want to say?”

Yanming was somewhat puzzled. Fu Changling lowered his head and poured himself some wine. Then he raised the cup and smiled. “Why don’t I tell you?”

“Speak.” Yanming nodded. “I'll listen.”

Fu Changling nodded. He contemplated for a long time before finally saying, “The first thing is, thank you.”

Thanking him for saving his life.

After speaking, he gulped down a mouthful of wine.

“The second thing.” Fu Changling poured some wine again. This time he didn’t dare to look at Yanming. He hastily said, “I’m sorry.”

Sorry, for those years, he had gradually forgotten about this person.

If it weren’t for being reborn, or this new encounter, he would’ve already forgotten his voice.

After speaking, Fu Changling drank again.

“The third thing.” Fu Changling poured wine for the last time. He looked at the wine cup showing the reflection of a seventeen year old Fu Changling. He also didn't know what was wrong. He abruptly became emotional, he lost his usual demeanour, his eyes a little sore. Only after a while did he say, “Forget about it, I won't say.”

“It makes a difference for some words to be spoken earlier or later,” Fu Changling shrugged helplessly. “You see, he’s not here to listen now that I want to say them.”

“Then…” Yanming was a little curious, “Did you not look for him?”

Fu Changling sighed. “I couldn't find him. Later on matters became complicated, so I let it be.”

Yanming didn't speak. He mulled for a while and only then said, “Are those complicated matters…..were they….. Fellow Cultivator Qin?”

Hearing this, Fu Changling almost spilled his wine in fear. He hurriedly said, “Little brother Yan, don’t talk so unguardedly. Saying such things will get you killed.”

“But I always feel,” Yanming continued cautiously. “You treat Fellow Cultivator Qin….”

“Yanming.” Fu Changling finally calmed down. He interrupted Yanming and calmly said, “Qin Yan harmed my family.”

Yanming’s eyes widened. Fu Changling continued steadily, “He has committed a lot of crimes. I’m not sure if he’ll do such things again in the future. Although everything is the past and my family is still alive now, but Yanming,” Fu Changling lifted his head to look at him. “I will never like such a person.”

Yanming was a little taken aback hearing this. He hesitated for a while before finally saying, “So that’s why you’re hiding from him?”

Fu Changling was at a loss, simply staring at him blankly. Looking at him, Yanming seriously said, “You didn’t realise?” He turned to glance at Fu Changling. “You’ve been hiding from him.”