Chapter 1

Li Xiaofeng, bored out of his mind, watched the clouds drift by, adjusted the rubber stick in his hand, and squinted as he yawned. He was so bored, day after day, year after year, standing guard here. Apart from the archway behind him, there was not a single person to talk to, not even a sound. It was as silent as the eerie stillness before the big boss appears in a horror movie.

Li Xiaofeng yawned again, stretched lazily, and took out his phone to check the time. Only five minutes had passed since he last checked, and the time until his shift ended seemed endless.

"Damn it, does time move slower up here?" he complained, full of grievances.

Indeed, he was in heaven, more precisely, at the famous South Gate of Heaven, the entrance to the Heavenly Court. And our protagonist, Li Xiaofeng, was a guard at the South Gate of Heaven—a god, if you consider celestial soldiers to be gods. Of course, the other gods in heaven didn't see it that way. Just like city dwellers wouldn't consider migrant workers as their own, the gods in heaven wouldn't consider a mere celestial soldier a god, especially not a temporary worker like Li Xiaofeng.

To be honest, Li Xiaofeng didn't think of himself as a god either. Even among the celestial soldiers, he felt out of place and somewhat discriminated against. There was no other reason; every place has its hierarchy, and gods and celestial soldiers are no exception. Due to his late start in his career—although Li Xiaofeng had been a celestial soldier for ten years, compared to the "senior colleagues" with hundreds of years of service, it was nothing.

Of course, seniority was just one aspect. The main issue was that Li Xiaofeng was a temporary worker with no powerful connections. He got this promising job purely by chance. As everyone knows, in the world of gods, connections are crucial. Just look at "Journey to the West"; the monsters without connections were all eliminated, while those with connections just got new jobs.

Indeed, Li Xiaofeng became a celestial soldier due to a traffic accident. He still remembered that day clearly. He was elated after finding a job at Foxconn from a job market and planned to celebrate by having a big meal at a street stall. As he was about to cross the road, a speeding luxury sports car crashed into a safety island and sent him to the underworld.

According to the rules of the underworld, ordinary people, even if they died unjustly, would suffer less in hell, receive fewer beatings, drink the soup of forgetfulness at the Bridge of Sighs earlier, and then move on. However, in Li Xiaofeng's case, there was an unexpected twist. According to the Book of Life and Death, his lifespan was not yet over. He was supposed to die of overwork at Foxconn ten years later. Dying unjustly now meant he didn't fit the heavenly order, and not fitting the heavenly order meant he couldn't be reincarnated. Without reincarnation, the Book of Life and Death couldn't be reconciled—put simply, it created a butterfly effect, a small matter with serious consequences.

Although the heavenly order is mostly a scare tactic, without it, the gods couldn't function. So, when it went wrong, even the minor officials in the underworld couldn't bear the blame. They had to investigate and find out who had the audacity to change the heavenly order.

After a thorough investigation, King Yama was in a bind. The one who hit Li Xiaofeng was not an ordinary person but a god from heaven. The culprit was the thirty-second son of the Second God's concubine, now a deputy general at the South Gate of Heaven. The accident was reportedly caused by a race with the grandson of the God of Wealth, Zhao Gongming, over a girl in the mortal world.

What to do? King Yama was speechless. He was just a minor official and couldn't afford to offend the Second God and the God of Wealth. Not to mention that the God of Wealth controlled all the finances of heaven and the underworld. If he got upset and stopped funding, they would lose their salaries and couldn't even sign contracts.

Unable to offend the gods, King Yama could only find trouble with the minor spirits. He decided to send Li Xiaofeng back to life, adding the ten years of his lifespan. After all, it was just ten years of a poor life! However, what King Yama didn't expect was another twist—Li Xiaofeng's body had already been cremated by a powerful institution! It was all for the sake of harmony.

Well, gods are powerful, but not omnipotent. With a body, one could say it was a state of false death, but with the body burned to ashes, it would be a real horror movie if someone jumped out of an urn. So, returning to life was out of the question.

The poor King Yama, besides cursing his colleagues for being too quick, could only communicate with the higher-ups to find a way to resolve the issue. But the higher-ups, being powerful, didn't care about King Yama, a minor official, and told him to solve it himself or lose his position. King Yama, nearing retirement and hoping for a pension, had no choice but to use the petty cash to smooth things over and secure a temporary position for Li Xiaofeng, thus resolving the issue.

Later, Li Xiaofeng learned that most celestial soldiers and many low-ranking gods in heaven became gods this way—either through the elevation of a family member or by cleaning up the mess of a higher god.

Regardless, from then on, Li Xiaofeng became a glorious celestial soldier. Although the benefits were not great, he was still a civil servant in heaven, with a stable income and no worries about food and drink. Moreover, he didn't have to worry about his wife, children, car, or house. Not that the Heavenly Court provided them, but because these things were against the heavenly laws. As a god working in the Heavenly Court, how could one think of worldly matters? These were all against the mainstream values of heavenly civil servants! So, they were all out of the question!

However, this didn't mean that normal romantic relationships were forbidden in heaven. How could there be so many romantic stories among the gods if they didn't think of the world? Of course, this was all proper and reasonable. According to the Heavenly Court's Propaganda Department, these gods were not thinking of the world but going down to the mortal world to understand the people. Leaders must mingle with the masses to have deep exchanges and understand the people's conditions.

As for the less harmonious results, they were considered acts of God, like hurricanes, floods, earthquakes, and volcanic eruptions. Besides, one should always look at the positive side. Focusing on the negative aspects doesn't align with objective laws!

Li Xiaofeng also wanted to understand the people, but unfortunately, he didn't have the qualifications. To put it bluntly, as a mere guard, what kind of understanding of the people could he have? Was he supposed to learn from the advanced work experience of the city management in the mortal world? His superiors had said—violent enforcement is wrong! Especially in the warm and harmonious family of the Heavenly Court, how could one use violence? Didn't God say that if someone hits your left cheek, you should turn the right cheek as well? Although God was nothing, it did align with the civil servant's creed of serving the people!

So, thinking of the world was something Li Xiaofeng didn't need to consider, at least not for now. Maybe in a few thousand years, when he accumulated enough seniority to be promoted and all the senior celestial soldiers before him passed away, he could think about it. For now, he could only watch cavalry and infantry movies on his phone to pass the time.

Lost in these random thoughts, Li Xiaofeng eagerly awaited the end of his shift, but what he often got was the thunder of overtime.

"Kid, report to the Palace of Alchemy after your shift!" A gruff voice poured cold water over Li Xiaofeng.

Looking at the person in front of him, riding a Harley-Davidson Fat Boy motorcycle, thin as a bamboo stick, with a red and green streak in his hair, black eye shadow like a panda, a thick gold chain like a dog collar, and piercings in his ears, nose, and tongue, Li Xiaofeng felt no goodwill. It wasn't because of the non-mainstream appearance but because this person was his enemy—the one who sent him to the underworld ten years ago and was now his superior, a second-generation official.

To be honest, Li Xiaofeng was conflicted. He didn't hate this person, but he didn't love him either. After all, even if he hadn't died, his job wasn't great. Although being a celestial soldier was frustrating, it was safe. So, even when the Harley-Davidson rider left, he didn't know how to respond. But it seemed the rider didn't need his response and ignored him.

"What did the general say to you?" asked the person coming to take over the shift. Seeing the usually unfriendly deputy general speaking to Li Xiaofeng, his curiosity was piqued, and he naturally asked for details.

"Tell me to report to the Palace of Alchemy after my shift!" Li Xiaofeng replied irritably.

"The Palace of Alchemy?" The person was clearly surprised. Everyone knew the Palace of Alchemy was an important place in heaven, the residence of Laozi. They, as low-ranking civil servants, couldn't even look at it for too long. How did Li Xiaofeng get such good luck, and how did he manage to get a connection with the deputy general, who usually didn't like him, and even get to visit the Palace of Alchemy? This trip might even get him a permanent position!

Li Xiaofeng rode his second-hand Phoenix bicycle, which he had bought on installment after prepaying ten years of salary, to the Palace of Alchemy. Despite its old-fashioned appearance, it was a masterpiece by a disciple of Lu Ban, clean, environmentally friendly, and fuel-efficient, a low-carbon mode of transportation. Of course, saying it was great was an exaggeration. The main reason was that the real estate prices in the core area of heaven were exorbitant, and even gods had to sell blood to rent. Li Xiaofeng could only live in the suburbs, and heaven was so vast that the distance from the outskirts to the core was tens of thousands of kilometers. Without a means of transportation, he would be late for work, so he had no choice but to buy this old bike.

Li Xiaofeng went to the Palace of Alchemy with a cool attitude, but the person taking over the shift remembered this and told the next person, lamenting Li Xiaofeng's good luck and regretting being too cold to him over the years. If he had been friendlier, he might have gotten a ride.

The person talking was spouting saliva and drool, but the listener was unimpressed and gave him a dirty look, coldly saying, "Do you think that kid is really lucky? Wake up from your daydream! Have you checked the date? He's probably already gone, body and soul!"

"Check the date?" The person was confused, "I looked at the calendar, and today isn't a special day!"

"Are you stupid? Have you forgotten the once-in-five-hundred-years heavenly calamity?"

"Heavenly calamity!" The person scratched his head, "Wasn't it only two hundred and fifty years since the last one?"

The speaker sneered again, "Are you stupid? The numbers on paper can't be trusted. They said it would last a thousand years, but it broke after five hundred. Besides, you don't understand the corruption in our Heavenly Court construction projects. Many gods are waiting to profit from this, so you should take five hundred as two hundred and fifty!"

The listener slapped his forehead, breaking out in a cold sweat, "How could I forget that? Brother, how much will Laozi and Zhao Xingjun profit this time?"

The speaker held up a hand, showing a number, "At least this much!"

Li Xiaofeng, of course, didn't know about their conversation. After signing a bunch of contracts written in celestial script under the guidance of a beautiful celestial official, he was given a Nine-Transmutation Golden Pill. Honestly, this was a rare treasure, said to transform a mortal and lay the foundation for immortality. Li Xiaofeng couldn't understand what he had signed to get such a treasure, knowing that even selling himself wouldn't buy a pinch of the pill's powder.

The naive boy didn't know that he had been sold. Since Nüwa patched the sky, a time bomb had been planted in the entire celestial realm. Nüwa, no matter how powerful, couldn't reverse the natural order. The original sky was broken, and nothing created later could patch it. So, the patch had a lifespan and needed to be replaced every few thousand years.

Of course, Nüwa was a compassionate goddess who wouldn't cut corners. But the later gods didn't have the same integrity. The Five-Colored Stone was an ancient and rare treasure.

Since it was a treasure, it was coveted. So, the later gods came up with a corrupt way to cut corners. The Five-Colored Stone had a spirit, which allowed it to patch the sky. Humans, being the most spiritual beings, had less spirit than the Five-Colored Stone but still had some. Capturing humans to patch the sky would be against the natural order, and gods, though devious, couldn't be so blatant. Besides, ordinary humans had limited spirit, and it would take the extermination of humanity to patch the sky. So, they had to use the next best thing—gods, who were once humans, had more spirit and were the best substitute for the Five-Colored Stone.

Of course, even the Jade Emperor couldn't sacrifice gods to patch the sky. It would be too disharmonious and cause internal conflicts. But celestial soldiers were different. They were not as precious as gods, were numerous, and no one cared about their lives. Using them to patch the sky was the perfect solution.

So, as soon as Li Xiaofeng swallowed the Nine-Transmutation Golden Pill, the previously friendly celestial official's face changed, and she struck him on the back of the head with a hand knife. Poor Li Xiaofeng didn't even taste the pill before he fell like a sack of potatoes. The beautiful official then jumped and cursed, "Damn you, how could you eat it! Now I've lost a lot!"

It turned out that while celestial soldiers could patch the sky, their spirit was limited. Laozi had sent the Nine-Transmutation Golden Pill to strengthen them, but the pill was a treasure and coveted by others. It was meant to be a show, but Li Xiaofeng swallowed it directly. No wonder she was angry. The consequences of a woman's anger were severe, and poor Li Xiaofeng was dragged into a small dark room and beaten up.

"Old Li, your materials are too thin!" The God of Wealth looked at Laozi's formula and was worried, "These celestial soldiers are too weak. The refined spirit stones will be too fragile. You should at least add some better materials. A broken sky is no joke!"

Laozi stroked his beard and said casually, "Old Zhao, you're too timid. Although the spirit stones are not as good as the Five-Colored Stone, with my Nine-Transmutation Golden Pill, they should last a hundred years. Think about it, in a hundred years, we can make another fortune. Why make them too strong and ruin our business? Why not take advantage of public resources?"

The God of Wealth thought it made sense. The Jade Emperor didn't expect a one-time solution, but he was cautious and warned, "Be careful, Old Li. Your pills are getting weaker each year. The old man is not happy, saying your patches are getting worse. We're in the business of making money, but we need to be sustainable."

"Relax, relax, trust me!" Laozi waved his sleeve and stuffed the unconscious Li Xiaofeng headfirst into the Eight-Trigram Furnace, instructing, "Qingfeng, Mingyue, don't slack off. Watch the fire carefully. I'll be back in forty-nine days to check your work!"

Qingfeng and Mingyue looked at each other in silence. The temperature in the alchemy room was high, and even gods couldn't stay for long. Laozi was known for his stinginess, and the air conditioning and heat allowances approved by the higher-ups were pocketed by him, leaving only two broken fans. Could a fan in front of a furnace work?

"Life is hard!" Qingfeng sighed and prepared to stoke the fire, but Mingyue, being smarter, pulled him back and laughed, "Brother, are you going to stoke the fire?"

Qingfeng was puzzled, "How can we refine the pill without stoking the fire?"

Mingyue grinned, "Brother, you're too honest. We work so hard, but who cares? Besides, didn't you hear the master say it only needs to last a hundred years? Why overwork ourselves? The sky will break eventually, and it will be patched again. What's the difference between a year more or less? Why bother?"

Qingfeng thought about it and realized it was true. If even the master didn't care, why should he? He decided to use a low flame and take it slow. A year more or less didn't matter!

Bureaucracy can be deadly, but the heavens seemed to play a cruel joke on Li Xiaofeng. The negligent officials who sent him to his death were now preparing to destroy him completely, but in the end, it was the corrupt officials who left him a glimmer of hope.

If Qingfeng and Mingyue had stoked the fire intensely, Li Xiaofeng would have been destroyed. But they were afraid of the heat and used a low flame. Plus, Li Xiaofeng had luckily swallowed the Nine-Transmutation Golden Pill, allowing him to survive the forty-nine days of torment.

Although his soul was severely damaged, he retained a breath of life. When he was used as "artificial cement" to patch the sky, the once peaceful young man was filled with anger. Honestly, anyone would be furious, and if they didn't seek revenge, they would be a fool.

Years passed, and every day, Li Xiaofeng tried to break free from the spirit stone that bound his soul. As the saying goes, perseverance can move mountains and fill seas, and even a drop of water can wear through stone. The spirit stone, being a shoddy construction, slowly cracked under his persistent efforts. One day, with a loud explosion, the sky shattered, and everything, gods and mortals alike, was scattered like broken glass. With the destruction of the heavens and the universe, only a deep black hole remained.