Chapter 124

Eugène did not know how to put last night’s events into words.

A nightmare caused by an incubus? Or perhaps the night ofPhilotanus?

The night before, he had experienced firsthand, with every fiber of his being, what kind of hell descends upon the body when uncontrollable desire combines with unyielding will.

The second round of sex, like the first, took place in the bath. Through the back-to-back experiences, Eugène had come to understand, deep in his bones, how taxing the so-called face-to-face sitting position was on the hip joints.

Of course, part of the difficulty he endured was due to the setting. They were having sex in a bath that offered no support, and Eugène had to struggle with all his strength to avoid rolling off his partner’s knees and humiliatingly ending up in the water.

Eugène was completely exhausted after the second round, which must have been doubly difficult due to the resistance of the water. Taking pity, His Majesty carried him to thegobektaşı, the marble slab. But even there, Eugène found little opportunity to rest. The Emperor, sliding atop him once more, demanded penetration in the missionary position again.

It was during the fourth round that the missionary position shifted into a bent, arched variation. That round, which had offered the most varied positions, ultimately ended in the side position, which was less physically demanding, leaving his abdomen filled with the repeated outpouring of the Emperor’s semen.

Maintaining balance on the slick marble demanded as much strength as keeping his posture in the bath. After four consecutive rounds of sex, his reddened, swollen depths leaked with every breath.

By that point, he thought he could go no further, even if a gun were held to his head. He did not just think it; he likely said it aloud as well. Even the Emperor, strong as he was, had grown considerably tired by then, and so he readily agreed.

However, as they were washing themselves with fresh water brought in to replace the fouled bath, the fifth round began after all. The Emperor, claiming he would scrape out the semen for Eugène, who was so exhausted he could not lift a single finger, could not abandon his habits, and in the end attempted penetration once more.

It was then that Eugène, for the first time, uttered a hearty sailor’s curse at the Emperor. Of course, this time it happened only in his head. No matter how dazed he had been, he was not so lacking in self-control as to commit such a blunder in reality. But looking back now, he could hardly believe that His Majesty, who read the minds of others with ghostlike acuity, had been entirely ignorant of it.

Thoroughly overworked beyond belief, he fell asleep as if fainting. Though it could be called sleep, it was closer to losing consciousness. His memory cut off in the bathroom, but he awoke in his own bedroom. He slowly came to his senses amidst the faint rustling noises.

… What time is it?

As time passed, his mind gradually cleared. But his body, heavy and sunken as if pinned by a nightmare, showed no intention of fully waking. Remaining with his eyes closed, he methodically examined his own body.

The inner thighs, chafed throughout the night, burned painfully. Even in the morning, there was neither an erection nor anything left within his testicles, and the swollen hole stung as if scorched. Eugène frowned at the muscle soreness that plagued his entire body, as if he had been beaten, and struggled to open his eyes.

“Are you awake already? Not going to sleep any longer?”

Perhaps due to fatigue, his vision refused to clear immediately. He blinked slowly, as if newly born, waiting for his focus to return. During this, a long shadow fell across his head. The Emperor, moving about the bed in preparation to leave, had noticed his stirring and leaned in to look at him.

“DJk GbI kr IGbSN Gt LISS, DJkb PGjItEN. DJk HQH wJE tSIIr hkva IQEaIb, GbI NJk wJE EQbIH?”

ldiUNNYQJN df AQd Uq, kUNèJT YTLJTB LNLQJAd dIT AQBT fS dIT gTB LJB YffsTB Ld dIT kPqTifi. EIfUNI IT SfUJB dIT kPqTifi’A LGdQfJA fS dIT qiTaQfUA TaTJQJN TcLAqTiLdQJN, ATTQJN L PLJ mIf gLiTYp AYTqd LJB pTd mLA LGdQaT SifP dIT aTip TLiYp PfiJQJN mLA UJATddYQJN. kUNèJT afQGTB IQA GfJGTiJ QJ L IfLiAT afQGT LA IT ILB MUAd LmLsTJTB. EIT kPqTifi dQYdTB IQA ITLB AYQNIdYp, APQYTB AQYTJdYp, LJB qYLGTB dIT gLGs fS IQA ILJB fJ kUNèJT’A SfiTITLB, GITGsQJN IQA dTPqTiLdUiT giQTSYp.

“I have taken sufficient rest, so there is no need to worry.”

The Emperor studied Eugène’s face carefully while taking his temperature. Only after confirming that nothing was amiss did he withdraw his hand as if relieved.

“Your temperature seems slightly higher than usual, but there appears to be nothing else of concern. Still, if any problem arises, call for the physician immediately.”

“It is nothing the physician needs to see. At most, it is a matter of stamina.”

“Do not be obstinate out of foolish pride. This is not the open sea but the Emperor’s court. Should you wish, treatment is always available, so there is no reason to stubbornly resist.”

Despite the Emperor’s words, Eugène did have a physician while on duty, and at his rank, he could have access to a physician whenever he wished. But knowing these words were spoken out of concern, he remained silent, accepting the gentle nagging. Since it was offered as a favour, there was no need to quarrel over its phrasing.

“Your Majesty.”

Though he had managed to clothe himself in trousers and shoes without assistance, the Emperor’s upper body remained bare. He draped a shirt over his shoulders and looked back at Eugène.

“Regarding what you said last night… Do you take offense that I supported the Marquis of La Baille?”

Eugène carefully observed his expression and asked a cautious question. After the sudden ordeal of the previous night, when he had been caught up in the Emperor’s unexpected scolding, Eugène could not help but ponder deeply why the Emperor had behaved in that way.

The Emperor had a difficult temperament, but he was not someone who acted without reason. If something had gone awry, there was surely a reason behind it. But, no matter how much he thought, Eugène could not deduce the exact cause. The only thing he had done yesterday had been, at most, to assist the Marquis.

“If I acted rashly and interfered with the plans in Your Majesty’s heart, I offer my formal apology.”

If he had made no other mistakes, perhaps that was the issue. Though something seemed slightly off in focus, the Emperor’s reproach had also concerned Eugène’s impulsive act of helping another. Though he had acted with a certain political calculation, he had never confirmed the Emperor’s inner thoughts. Reflecting belatedly on this, Eugène felt a twinge of regret.

“No, that is…”

The Emperor glanced at him with a faintly surprised expression, then uncharacteristically hesitated. Biting his lip lightly as if choosing his words, he remained silent for a moment before finally speaking.

“That matter was not your fault, butOurs. Even if things do not go asWewish, it is not right forUsto ventOurfrustration on you.”

Caught off guard by this rare, candid admission from the Emperor, Eugène felt a mixture of confusion and relief.

“Was it not my actions that caused a disruption to Your Majesty’s plans?”

When he asked again, almost to confirm, the Emperor shook his head with a wry smile.

“Not at all.”

“Truly?”

“It is the absolute truth. No matter how many times you questionUs,Ouranswer will not change.”

Having said that, the Emperor suddenly exhaled and calmly began to explain his position.

“Very well. Since it seems you do not understand the circumstances,Wewill speak openly and honestly. It is certainly true thatWedid not want to involve you in this matter. At least at this point, creating a renewed link between you and the Marquis of La Baille was not part ofOurplan. But that was merelyOurown selfish desire. There was no reason for you to concern yourself with it.”

It was not that Eugène had no stake in the larger scheme in which the Marquis of La Baille was merely a pawn. From the very first moment that the Duke of La Mer’s involvement in the rebellion became apparent, Ebroin V had been sketching out the plans, including Eugène’s role.

However, up until now, the Emperor had only set minor pieces in motion, and at such a premature stage, there was no guarantee that events would unfold according to plan. Moreover, no matter what one schemes, it is a fundamental truth of life that things do not always go as planned. Had the Emperor been naive enough to deny this, he would not have survived until now.

Looking back now with a clearer mind, the parts that had escaped his awareness then were obvious. What had unsettled the Emperor was not that things had not gone according to plan, but that Eugène had acted unilaterally, without seeking his consent.

“Eugène.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“You said you do not wish to be a bird in a cage, did you not?”

“…Yes.”

“So doWe.Wechose you because you know how to fly alone. Yet, despite that,Ourneedless desire keeps makingUswant to clip your wings.Wedo not know how to resolve it.”

He had always sought someone capable of judging and acting independently. More precisely, he sought someone who could act independently yet still align with his intentions in the larger scheme. But he had overlooked one thing: whether he himself possessed the magnanimity to embrace such a person.

In an ordinary relationship between a sovereign and his subject, it might have been different. But once intimate feelings were involved, he was utterly unfit for such a task.

“Do you understand whyWeentrust matters to you and then ask no further questions?”

“…I believe I do.”

At the Emperor’s weighty inquiry, Eugène forced open lips that resisted and barely managed to reply.

“The only considerationWecan grant you now amounts to no more than that. However, as you saw from yesterday’s events, how longOurpatience will last is no certainty. Already it is at a precarious edge, and once it reaches its limit, it will collapse in an instant.”

The Emperor’s words were exceedingly arrogant, yet Ebroin V was one of the few who had the right to speak so. He was the supreme authority of the empire, an absolute being whom no one could restrain if he chose to pursue nothing but his own desires.

Eugène knew well of men who, with even a speck of power, sank into base corruption. For one whose only restraint lay in his own will, to keep guard against his desires demanded a measure of self-control beyond imagining.

“ThoughWewere not inclined to it at first, your investigation of the Eastern nobility faction may serve as a valuable occasion. For once, you have the chance to bring results withoutOurinterference.Wetell you again. Within the limitsWecan permit,Weshall grant you every authority. You must bring back results worthy of that trust. You must. If you wish to remain as free as you are now, you will need to prove yourself worthy of such freedom.”

Eugène had once before heard something similar, and now, with a grave expression, he nodded. At that time, he had not truly understood the meaning of those words. But now, hearing the second warning with knowledge of the circumstances, it came to him with a weight wholly different from before.

“I must be going now.”

The Emperor, sunk in deep thought, gazed silently at him, then gave a bitter smile before kissing his forehead and rising from his seat. When Eugène moved to rise after him, clumsily lifting his body, the Emperor waved a hand with casual dismissal to stop him.

“You are unwell. There is no need to rise. And there are no eyes to see us, are there?”

In truth, he was not mistaken. Officially, the Emperor had never visited Eugène. Having never entered, there was no need to speak of leaving. By the same token, their relationship itself was of the same nature. From the very beginning, it had been a bond established under the tacit rule that ‘an unofficial relationship cannot be mentioned in public.’ Even after its essence had changed, it was natural that it should continue to be treated as though nothing at all existed.

Eugène, who was reminded of that anew, somehow had a bitter taste in his mouth. The weight of the feelings that bound them was far too heavy to dismiss as if they had never existed. Those feelings were so deep and so tightly intertwined between them that they could no longer be ignored as easily as in the past.