Chapter 75

“What do you think of me, Your Majesty?”

The typically eloquent Ebroin V found himself speechless.

What does he think of Eugène? If he were to voice all the thoughts about him that drift through his mind, even a sleepless night wouldn’t suffice. Purely in the personal realm, divorced from political purposes or connections, no one else had ever tangled the Emperor’s feelings so completely.

“The nature of your question eludesUs. Surely you are aware thatWeharbor special feelings for you.”

But he answered carefully. That he, who had always stepped back as if fleeing, now approached like this was by no means a good sign.What had I touched upon?The Emperor pulled a chair to face Eugène at the bedside. A premonition came that a long story would begin.

“Sometimes I wonder if Your Majesty holds some misconception about me.”

Eugène locked eyes with the Emperor, finishing the bandage knot and straightening his shirt.Ha. Misconception?The Emperor, who had been listening seriously while wondering what he meant to say, slightly furrowed his brow.

“Misconception? What sort of misconception?”

“As an example, let me ask you about something that happened quite recently. This afternoon, on the hunting grounds, Your Majesty left me an escort. Though he was given the title of a guide, one cannot deny that he stayed to protect me. But was that truly necessary for me?”

The Emperor did not readily answer.

Naturally so. The Emperor, though unconsciously, had extended the sort of courtesy reserved for a lost noblewoman. Had it been another nobleman instead of Eugène, the Emperor would have simply exchanged greetings and parted, never leaving behind someone to guard him.

“Not only then, but often before. Your Majesty treated me as if I were delicate, weak, and in need of protection. As if I were a helpless young maiden.”

“Do you mean to say thatWetreat you like a woman?”

“I cannot deny it. Though what prompted such treatment escapes me. If that is what Your Majesty desires, then I cannot meet those expectations.”

The tone was polite and respectful, but the meaning was clear.

To state it bluntly, the Emperor was profoundly mistaken, and Eugène refused to play along. After laying his heart so bare, this was the response he received?

Rather than getting angry, he was dispirited.

“… DJk hktE wJE aGAI iIIw Qw hGwN bISGEQJwtaQrt.”

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“If you had previous experience, you would have known the difference.Wedid not treat you as a woman, but as a suitor would his intended.”

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dNz CJ mtDLe ENymJz Cfo, RJtCNRI fyImJNz OA JoRLOefyq IORCfImfhNmJz hODtmICfR mJhCyfUDJI LfXJ IJzDhmfOy Ot CfymI, CJ ICODLz CNFJ AftIm INm Cfo zOEy AOt N hOyFJtINmfOy. dJ XyJE aDqèyJ’I RNtmfhDLNt OgmDIJyJII fy tOoNymfh oNmmJtI gJmmJt mCNy oOIm.

“You once risked your life to defend Prince Cyrill’s honor in front of Us. What motivated you to do so? Was it because his title was lacking or his power insufficient?”

The Emperor’s casual mention of his former lover caused Eugène to flinch in surprise. Though displeased that Eugène still reacted strongly to that name, his voice remained calm as he continued.

“Because that was my duty to him.”

Eugène’s hesitation lasted only moments under the Emperor’s expectant stare. The answer was inevitable. If Eugène, a native of the empire, owed duty to a foreign dignitary like him, there could be only one reason. The Emperor’s lips twisted bitterly at his own question’s obvious answer.

“It is for the same reason thatWewish to care for you. Not becauseWethink you weak, or incapable of tending to yourself, but simply because you have come to occupyOurheart.”

As the Emperor’s words faded into silence, he suddenly reached out and took Eugène’s hand. The sudden contact made Eugène freeze, but the Emperor paid no mind. Instead, he gently enclosed Eugène’s hand in his own, his thumb grazing over the back as if to confirm the scars that lay there, one by one. The delicate tracing sent a quiet shiver through the moment, and unable to bear the rising confusion and quiet intimacy, Eugène looked up and met his eyes.

“Your Majesty?”

“Weknow your strength and competence firsthand. Your rare honor, steadfast loyalty. Who do you think observed an officer from another region for years before summoning him to the capital? It wasUs. You were central to many of the plansWemade.”

Eugène’s hand, large and most hardened through childhood’s arduous labors, bore prominent knuckles. The back of it was rough, with many scars, and the calloused palms clearly revealed long years of sword grip.

“Yet love defies all planning.”

Initially dismissing it as base attraction, he’d feigned indifference. Even as his feelings intensified, he restrained himself, perhaps overconfident in resisting mere lust. Before Eugène, he had never known a feeling that could unravel reason like a pulled thread.

But time revealed deeper truths. This was no fleeting desire on the Emperor’s part. No mere lust would have left him so tormented by the tragedy of being unseen.

Eugène was not someone whose hand one should thoughtlessly take, a man who would complicate matters if one entangled with him the wrong way. Yet the Emperor’s gaze kept turning to Eugène, who had none of the sweet demeanor of his concubines, nor the meltingly soft body. Subtle advances were rebuffed with infuriating obliviousness, and any attempt to bridge the distance left him stiff with nervousness, embarrassing whoever reached out.

Were he to become a secret lover, it would be disgraceful; and even as a romantic partner, he held little promise for the future. To fret alone over a man so unresponsive didn’t suit the Emperor’s preferences either. And yet, his heart refused to listen. Whenever they occupied the same room, his gaze instinctively sought Eugène.

Why is he being like this? What will he do about the aftermath?…. Such rational considerations took a backseat. The night the report of Eugène’s attack came, when he recklessly rushed out of the palace, was when he finally confronted the feelings he’d noticed yet ignored.

This was no longer something within his control.

“If there is anythingWetruly owe you an apology for, it is thatWechose seduction before confession.Weadmit it.Wefeared rejection, soWeresorted to an expedient.Ithought that making you mine by any means was the only way the heart might know peace.”

He confessed his feelings calmly, as though laying bare his sins before a priest. Though there had been countless hints, this was his first formal confession.

Eugène stiffened, bewildered by the situation unfolding opposite to his expectations. Then, to make matters worse, the Emperor knelt before him.

“—Wait, what is Your Majesty doing?”

“He who has just made his confession has knelt before his beloved. What do you think this means?Iam now courting you.”

The Emperor knelt on one knee, pulled Eugène’s hand, which was already in his grasp, to his lips, and pressed a kiss to the back of it as any courter would do at the feet of his beloved. Lips as soft as rose petals lightly pressed the back of Eugène’s rough hand, and then fell.

Eugène, pale with inexpressible bewilderment, hastily helped the Emperor up.

“Your Majesty, please do not do this. How can the Emperor of an empire kneel before a mere subject? What if someone sees this?”

He tried to lift the Emperor to his feet, but the Emperor, with strength drawn from some unknown place, remained firmly kneeling. Eugène gritted his teeth, not even realizing that the Emperor had, at some point, stopped referring to himself as ‘We’and had begun saying ‘I’.

“You are no mere subject, you are the one I love. Let others ridicule me, I could not care less if it is not you who does so.”

“That is unacceptable to me. Your Majesty is my chosen lord. You are the object of my loyalty and the one who must remain my pride. I cannot bear to see my name tarnish Your Majesty’s honor, not once, but twice.”

The Emperor faintly furrowed his brow at his firm response. When deep sorrow clouded a face not just handsome but strikingly beautiful, it gave the illusion that the moon had slipped behind a shadow.

“Does that mean that you seeUsonly as a monarch?”

“No. It means that Your Majesty’s tactics will no longer work on me.”

Eugène was not unaware that the Emperor’s earlier confession had been a sincere outpouring of his heart. Yet just as strongly as he believed in the confession’s sincerity, he was equally convinced that the subsequent display was a calculated tactic; an attempt to pressure him.

Given all Eugène knew of the Emperor’s nature, such an act, no matter how impassioned, felt excessive. The Emperor was not the sort of romantic to kneel before another on a fleeting whim. He was, if anything, a man who could wield manipulation even on a visceral level.

“Tactics, you say? How cruel. Even if you cannot return the courter’s affections, is it not unbecoming to insult the sincerity behind them?”

“Your Majesty’s sincerity has been received. I simply refuse to be swayed by it. If a confession has been made, should I not be granted the time to consider it?”

“And yet, when given time, you only ever think of how to run away.”

“And I have just learned that running will not mean being let go of so easily.”

Eugène, still pale, rubbed his forehead in distress as he said so. He only ever becomes perceptive at times like this. The Emperor, having just apologized for using guile, now found himself caught red-handed employing it again. Somewhat abashed, he averted his gaze.

“MayWetake those words just now to mean you will not run away?”

“I said I would consider it, and so I shall.”

He replied in a deflated tone as he stifled a sigh. The Emperor’s sincerity was frightening in its clarity. He harbored not even the smallest thought of giving up on Eugène. To hold onto him, he had made a desperate gambit of kneeling before him, despite being the Emperor of an empire.

There was no escape to be found, no matter where he looked. Eugène, realizing he had been cornered, sank into strategic contemplation. The wisest course in a battle one cannot win is to retreat, but his opponent had destroyed all his retreat paths. When even the Emperor, who had so much more to lose, didn’t care about consequences, his excuses would hold no weight.

“Then,Wehope your consideration leads to a favorable conclusion.”

The Emperor encouraged Eugène in a voice laced with genuine warmth. Though truthfully, it was not so much encouragement as it was a quiet wish, a tender and one-sided wish.

T/N:i’m grateful for all of you guys, who support and motivate me to keep going. thank you so much, and please take care. also, once again, i’d like to say that your comments are very much appreciated <3