Chapter 1

In this profession, a straight man encountered many ceilings.

Firstly, nobody believed in a straight man's aesthetic judgement.

Secondly, the primary customer of a makeup artist was still women. When someone had to touch your face, pinch your chin and wipe your lips every single day, you would also hope that he felt no desire for you, so that you would feel more safe.

Lastly, the branch of male makeup artists had been monopolized by gays, with gays forming their own in-group.

Li Boxi's life was suffering.

In truth, he originally came from painting—he had no idea why he possessed such talent when it came to people’s faces. After entering the industry by pure coincidence and fate, he discovered that he was an outlier.

The first time he heard a colleague joke about a certain male celebrity’s buttocks, he was utterly dumbstruck, looking around in all four directions, but only saw every male colleague nodding in understanding.

The next day he went to a certain cover shooting venue to do makeup for a female celebrity. The female star wore a bikini swimsuit, her aura graceful and soft, and she had large breasts.2 After her makeup was finished, she looked in the mirror, then audaciously pulled him down to give him a kiss, "It’s gorgeous! Thanks, sis!"

Li Boxi got hard.

Li Boxi fled in a panic.

[2] 波涛汹涌 - this is an informal slang/pun that refers to big breasts. Originally, the expression describes “waves surging turbulently”. The word for “turbulent” 汹 is a homophone to “breast” (xiong1). The word referring to wave, 波 also refers to ball/spherical shape, which can also refers to breasts.

After Li Boxi went back, he contemplated deeply for a while; in order not to ruin his bright future ahead, he decided to undergo intensive study to pretend to be a gay man.

The deeper he dove, the more he realised that gay men came in all shapes and sizes. There were muscular types, fat types, skinny types. Some were nightclub queen types, little white bunnies with moe appeal, and some wore men’s shorts, who at first glance looked even straighter than him.

He was overjoyed. Since there were so many types of gay men, it would be fine if he just acted as himself, right?

However, he had only been himself for a month when his colleagues came one after another to sneakily probe like spies, "Are you straight?"

Li Boxi was shocked, "Why do you ask?"

The other person said, "Your eyes never linger on men, but you seem quite into watching pretty women."

Li Boxi was dripping in cold sweat. He forced a grin, "I'm studying their outfits."

"Couldn't tell at all, sis. You have that kind of hobby? So when are you going to wear a dress and let us see?"

Li Boxi desperately attempted to prevaricate. But looking back, he felt that this wasn’t a bad move after all.3 If he wore a dress and went out on the street, no matter how he stared at beautiful women, nobody would find him suspicious.

On top of that, he was a man who was cut-throat and dogged in his decisions—hence the very next day he resolved to shave off all his leg hairs and wore a black dress to work.

Everyone was stunned.

[3] 狠招 - “a ruthless move” - describes something along the lines of a decision/move that’s very effective and spares no effort

He initially only wanted to conceal himself, but did it in such a high-profile way that as a result, accidentally fueled the flames of his career. A crossdresser as beautiful as him—wherever he went, when was he not in the spotlight? Since he could make himself that beautiful, of course he could make you that beautiful as well!

Li Boxi's net-worth inflated like rising sea levels.

His flag was raised up high and he grew his hair out. Having the figure of a clothes-hanger to begin with, everything he wore appeared as haute couture, and he occasionally even crossed borders to act as a cameo model.

Not only that, he even had a dating pool to his liking now. He never got what the girls around him were thinking. When a makeup artist identified as a straight man, he received absolute silence,4 but when he held up a banner that wrote "I'm even more alien than an alien", suddenly there were many people who hoped that he was bisexual.

Li Boxi spent several years of godly days drunk on money and gold.

Surely everyone understands that it's about time for Cheng Ping to show up at this point.

[4]门可罗雀 - expression “one is able to catch sparrows at the house entrance as it is deserted with no people”

Cheng Ping was a retired esports player. When he was in service, he was more or less a god with remarkable achievements, and furthermore, he had a unique personal style: aggressiveness.

During games, Cheng Ping was very easily incited by others; but contrary to expectations, the more aggressive he was, the better he would fare. As he played, he would also shout words that would get bleeped out, and even learned manual noise-cancelling after receiving several warnings:

“X (silently mouthed)! YOU XX (silently mouthed) ARE YOU A XXXX (silently mouthed)!”

Of course, more renowned than his muted profanities was his godlike origin.

Cheng Ping dropped out in his first year of university to play esports.

His university was a certain prestigious film academy.

And it was precisely due to this that after retiring, he did not choose a mainstream path such as live streaming, commentating, or opening an online store. Instead, relying on his still-commendable looks and an amazing number of fans, he returned to his old profession in a sense—acting.

He was twenty-four this year; in the words of fans, "after a small detour of several years" he made a new debut with fairly good resources. One could argue that at such a young age, he had already sat on the peak of his life and never came down.

But Cheng Ping had a terrifying secret.

He was actually still in shape to play when he retired. He was only forced out by his former captain.

The reason was because after a certain alcohol gathering with the team, his former captain not only discovered that he was gay, but also that he held secret affection for him for a long time.

At a time when the team's performance was declining, the former captain, who was the main force of the team, originally had a mutually-supportive and synergistic relationship with Cheng Ping. But after suffering from this shock, even their cooperation during matches was greatly affected.

The former captain, a man straight as steel,5 treated him coldly for a period of time, during which he didn't even spare him a glance, let alone talk to him. Upon further contemplation, he still couldn't stand it, so after communicating with all parties, he persuaded Cheng Ping to quit.

Cheng Ping could simply change clubs, but he chose to directly retire.

He spent his days thereafter depressed and wasting away, putting in little effort as an actor. He was still unable to let go of esports, and sometimes secretly watched his former teammates’ matches.

The team had already been replaced with fresh blood, and the results continue to fluctuate. He didn’t know if his teammates were instructed to do so, but nobody mentioned even half a word about him.

It was as if those years of his life had been completely obliterated, never existing in the first place.

[5]钢铁直男 - will be translated as “a man as straight as steel” or “iron straight male”. Stereotypically blunt, insensitive straight guy who is bad at romance and emotional matters. "Straight as steel" because they have no chance of getting bent gay

After becoming an actor, he needed to stay even deeper into the closet. Since he adopted an aggressive persona to begin with, the economic team had a discussion and decided to construct an image of a "straight male shut-in with an esports background".

What did a straight male shut-in look like? His frame of reference was still his former captain.

Whenever he had to read his script word for word, his former captain’s disgusted expression would reappear in front of his eyes.

Cheng Ping felt like he could no longer go on.

It was on such a day he met Li Boxi.

It was a big-budget film by a certain watch brand, and Li Boxi was commissioned to do makeup for Cheng Ping.

The night before, Li Boxi was so excited that he could not sleep.

Li Boxi had no idols in showbiz, but he had a few favourites in esports; among them, the one he followed for the longest was Cheng Ping.

The year Cheng Ping dropped out of school and made his debut, he was a fourth-year student in university, sitting in his dorm room, eating instant noodles while watching his livestream. Whenever Cheng Ping silently shouted profanities and killed people with a rat-tat, he was a member of the barrage army of demons running wild.

一Many years passed in a flash, and now, he, bringing glory to his ancestors, was going to apply foundation for the Great God!

Cheng Ping sat facing the vanity mirror. While staring at himself in a daze, Li Boxi pushed open the door and walked in.

Li Boxi wore light makeup and a simple shirtdress, his long hair already reaching his waist. His figure was tall and his shoulders were straight, exhibiting a sort of beauty that was androgynous, yet a captivating and imposing presence.

Li Boxi walked behind Cheng Ping, met his eyes in the mirror, and opened his mouth, about to call him “God Cheng”.

At the last moment, he was able to reign himself in, “...Hello Mr Cheng.”

As he was speaking, he suddenly remembered his gay persona, so he gave him a wink as well.

Cheng Ping: .

Before Cheng Ping retired, he had never seen another gay man in eight hundred years. He could only silently endure his former captain’s laughter during his teammates’ occasional conversations about big breasts.

But at this very moment, when he laid his eyes upon a guy who was so gay to the point of ostentatiousness, he felt a sting in his eyes.

Cheng Ping had also just recalled his iron straight-male persona, and so he nodded coolly, “Hello. Thanks for the trouble today.”

Li Boxi held Cheng Ping’s chin up, scrutinising his face, “Your skin’s a bit dry. Let’s start with a water mask.”

He wore a composed expression on his face when he dabbed on the water mask, while his fingers quivered slightly.

His God had lost weight. His face also looked haggard.

In this profession, Li Boxi was situated in the centre of the whirlpool of gossip. Apart from hearing about gossip every day, he also heard more gossip. Regarding the inside story of Cheng Ping's retirement, he had already heard over a dozen versions.

Among them, the most mainstream version was: he was so attractive that he accidentally cuckolded his former captain, and was forced to quit as retribution for a personal grievance in the name of public interests.

Li Boxi’s heart was about to shatter into pieces.

Was being attractive his fault? It wasn’t!

Whenever Li Boxi thought about how he would never hear those muted profanities again, he felt a sense of loneliness like fleeting snowflakes, as if his adolescence had also come to an end along with them.

He really wanted to say a few words of consolation to his God, but couldn't think of an opening sentence that fit his persona. So for a long while he simply remained quiet like a chick that stopped its chirps,6 until the eyeliner in his hand had reached the tightline, "Look down."

[6]安静如鸡 - “quiet like a chicken”, a slang used in fan circles - telling fans to shut up in situations they shouldn't be speaking.

Their faces were so close that they could smell each other’s breathing.

Cheng Ping’s entire body was rigid.

Li Boxi could absolutely understand this sort of straight-male stiffness. He couldn’t bear to see his God feel such embarrassment, so he definitely needed to think of a script to say.

“Seems like you have some black circles, Mr Cheng.”

Li Boxi thought in his heart, I’m really so good at gaying that I can pass as a real one.

Cheng Ping’s chin was propped up by Li Boxi’s hand; hearing the hint of ridicule in his voice, he suddenly felt discomfort all over. In that short while he could not think of an answer that maintained his straight-male persona, so he simply told the truth, “I always stay up late when I play games.”

Yes! I definitely won’t be stuck if we talk about this!

Li Boxi eagerly pressed on, “Gaming’s pretty hard on you, right?”

Cheng Ping wordlessly glanced at him, then with an expression that wrote "you won’t understand", he said indifferently, "A bit."

It was obvious that he wanted to end the conversation here.

Li Boxi continued to press, "Oh, I’ve watched you yell at people every game.” 7

Cheng Ping: ?

Cheng Ping thought, Did this gay do his homework just to flirt with me?

[7] 喷人 - “to spray people”.. Insulting, yelling profanities, lashing out aggressively and unreasonably on the internet. I considered using “flame” which would be a more similar equivalent in English, but I think “flame” only refers to written insults usually in forums and is most importantly from an anonymous identity, rather than Cheng Ping’s case of verbal insulting IRL?