Chapter Twenty-three, To Share the Burden

“Just some snacks.” Xiao Zuo took a glance at the maid to the side. He Xuan seemed to have perceived something, yet did not speak up and only indifferently made an en sound, then turned around and continued walking ahead.

The corridor to the study wound and meandered, while the tops climbed with dense and bare vines, blown by bone-seeping cold winds that let out low and deep cries like they were about to fall.

Xiao Zuo recalled there was this kind of corridor in Nan Liang’s imperial palace as well- in the summer, shady green leaves would hold up clusters of wisteria, possibly sounds of warblers entering the ears in between, fading into this land of flowers that was like a waterfall. That year when he sat on a bench at the corridor underneath the vast clear skies while eating grapes, he probably never would have thought there would be a day when the flowers would wither and the warblers would grow old.

He Xuan walked very fast, and once Xiao Zuo came to, he could only see the hem at the corner. He hurriedly caught up, and no longer submerged into old dreams.

“Give it a try, Ling Xiang’s tea-steeping skills are not bad.” He Xuan leaned on the back of a chair, and turned his head to signal Xiao Zuo. As Xiao Zuo had concerns in his heart, he absentmindedly took a sip, and did not taste anything either. He smiled at He Xuan “It is good tea.”

He Xuan slightly knitted his eyebrows, he could see that Xiao Zuo had something to speak with him about, but did not point it out, and like a well-experienced hunter, he waited by the trap for the dumb prey to fall into the net by itself with some interest. He Xuan waved his hand and had Ling Xiang retreat, then no longer opened his mouth, and only looked at the letters sent from various places on his own, and dipped in some ink and wrote a few words from time to time.

There were a few times Xiao Zuo wanted to open his mouth, but he did not find an appropriate time- he blankly stood to the side in a hard-pressed spot, and even the palms started sweating.

“Your Highness……” When He Xuan put the brush down and drank tea, Xiao Zuo hurriedly took one step forward at the available opportunity, and because of nervousness, the voice was slightly shaking, “I have something I want to give you.”

He Xuan did not get in a single word inside during this cup of tea at all. He hung his eyes down and swept by the remarks he randomly wrote down just now, there was no heads or tails to it, unclear what it meant. He inconspicuously sighed for a bit, then lifted his eyes up, “What is it? Bring it to megu.”

Xiao Zuo pursed his lips, and slightly nervously wiped the sweat from his palms onto a handkerchief, then went up and opened that food box, and carefully took out the first layer. He Xuan took one glance, and saw that the bottom was placed with a square object wrapped in gold silk fabric.

“Please take a look, your Highness.”

He Xuan vaguely recalled something, he went up and undid that silk fabric, revealing a box engraved with dragon patterns on it. He Xuan picked it up and weighed it, it was fairly heavy, “This is…… Xing dynasty’s imperial jade seal?”

Xiao Zuo nodded his head, “That year, the grieved emperor’s descendant brought this imperial jade seal and escaped to Nan Liang, and later on, the imperial jade seal was left in the imperial palace. ”

“Oh? Why give it to me?” He Xuan did not open the box. He took one step back and sat back in the chair, with his expression indifferent, and his gaze deeply looking at Xiao Zuo.

“Right now…… Jin outshines the rest, going to war year after year, the commoners are long already are sick of it too. A long separation beseeches gathering, if Jin is able to unite the four countries, it is also the commoners’ fortune.”

He Xuan smiled in neither agreement nor denial, “Is that so? Then what benefit is it to you?”

“I hope that your Highness is able to use this and speak about the current situation of Nan Liang with his Majesty, the garrison envoy……” Xiao Zuo lowered his eyes, and his voice got a bit quiet.

“With just this?” He Xuan took back his smile. His fingers lightlytapped on that delicately-engraved box, and slightly narrowed his eyes. The light in his eyes was dark and unsteady, “Xing has long perished. In the final year, greedy and corrupt officials were in power, while commoners exchanged their sons for food, and has lost much of their popularity. Jin has no need for Xing’s imperial jade seal.” He Xuan stared at Xiao Zuo’s pale lips, and took one step forward.

“You must be doing it for that oracle.” He Xuan’s breath was wrapped with a piercing cold hint of frost and the pride from a determination to obtain [victory], “The country naturally has its fate, how could it be tied to an inanimate object?”

He lowered his voice, if another person were to hear it, it would seem like the soft mutterings between lovers, “What I, He Xuan want, I will use my own power to take.”

After finishing, his two fingers gathered together, and pushed the box forward, “Is there anything else?”

Xiao Zuo blankly looked at He Xuan, and his expression uncontrollably sunk into dejection. Before he came, he originally had the resolution of being rejected, but when really standing before He Xuan, he did not know why he had some delusions he should not have. Just like when he was young, no matter whatever cakes he wanted to eat, toys he wanted to have, as long as he acted artfully and played smart, even the glittering moon of the highest skies could be obtained without lifting his hands.

But people would eventually have to grow up. After leaving Nan Liang’s Ji Le Palace, he was no longer that little highness whose wishes all came true, he became a bird trapped in a cage.

He suddenly had an indescribable dejection, Xiao Zuo lightly shook his head, then like he recalled something, abruptly lifted his head up. His tone turned much quicker, like he was afraid once he stopped, he would lose the courage to continue, “The imperial jade seal…… merely represents my sincerity. If your Highness does not look up to it, then never mind it. I came this time to say to your Highness, although I cannot compare to your Highness, but in the end, I did learn some things, and am willing to put forward my strength for your Highness in the future, and share the burdens with your Highness.”

“Share the burdens?” He Xuan narrowed his eyes like he saw some new and curious divine object and stared at him for a while, then suddenly started laughing. He got up and slightly frivolously and intimately lifted Xiao Zuo’s chin up, and his gaze stayed on his lips for a while, and when Xiao Zuo angrily struggled back a bit, he then lowered his head and quickly stole a kiss on his lips like a dragonfly dipping in water, and his tone seeped out with a hoarseness of desire, “Sharing the burdens like this?”

“Your Highness!” Xiao Zuo angrily withdrew one step back. The charcoal pan within the study was clearly burning vigorously, but he felt like his entire body was that cold, like it had fallen into an icy bottom of a lake in the midst of winter, where the water weeds wrapped and pulled at his four limbs, and the water spirits that were like shadows giggled, about to pull him towards the abyss with no bottom in sight.

He wanted to struggle in a panic, he wanted to go up the shore, wanted to go into the light that was within reach, yet series after series of waves hit him down, and he already felt a bit powerless. In this moment, Xiao Zuo distinctly realized- he was just like a canary that He Xuan played in the palms, it was enough as long as he chirped nicely to the ears, he was a mere canary, why does he need to fly? The blue skies long already left him far, far away.

He Xuan lowered his eyes, and revelled in Xiao Zuo’s frail and fair neck. He leisurely wore that gentle and sentimental mask from before, and like he realized his errors, he sighed, stroked Xiao Zuo’s head, and gently comforted, “Li Nu.”

Xiao Zuo slightly froze, he bit his lower lip and lifted his head to glance at He Xuan, and got defencelessly pulled into He Xuan’s embrace. He subconsciously took a sniff, it was still the incense he was accustomed to using, cool and breezy, faintly added with a slight scent of sandalwood.

“Ig know you want to help Nan Liang, but…… you currently have little power, how can you help megu? Things like planning and scheming, Ig naturally have my own people, when would Ig be able to use you?”

Xiao Zuo let out a muffled sound, he was enveloped in He Xuan’s gentle embrace, and was a bit seized up in the moment. At this time, He Xuan removed all the thorns on his body and patiently comforted him, so Xiao Zuo’s voice also subconsciously softened up, “I naturally have places that others cannot compare with, your Highness will know in the future.”

“Yes, how can those people compare to you.” He Xuan only took it that he was being sulky, and lightly laughed, and lowered his head and coaxed by his ears, “Alright, alright, it was mygu fault just now, I’ve had it hard in the courts these days, so my temper isn’t good, Ig will apologize to you.”

“There is no need for your Highness to do this, I originally did not blame your Highness either.” Xiao Zuo knew he did not believe in himself. He might be powerless now, but the days were long, he would eventually find a chance, it was fine to just plan slowly.

“Be good.” He Xuan took the box held in his hands, “Leave this imperial jade seal with megu, your residence is not safe, Ig will help you keep it.”

“It was originally for you.” Xiao Zuo did not evade it either, and gave it to him.

He Xuan then placed that box into a secret compartment at the back of the table. Xiao Zuo followed him, and seeing that there was a red couplet placed on the study table, he slightly curiously asked him, “What is this?”

He Xuan turned to look, “A Spring Festival couplet.”

“Ah.” Xiao Zuo narrowed his eyes and looked at that red base, the surface was sprinkled with some gold powder, and he sighed, “How quick, it’s almost the end of the year.”

“Yes.” He Xuan finished placing the box, then walked over to say, “When you first came to Jin, it was just the beginning of autumn.”

Ever since Xiao Zuo was born, this was the very first time he was not spending the new year in the palace. Not only was he not in the palace, he was not even in his home country. He immediately got a bit sad, and hung his eyes down to stare at that couplet that was not written yet and went in a daze. He Xuan glanced at him, and probably guessed what he was thinking. He ground the ink himself, and turned to ask him, “Come, think of a Spring couplet, Ig will write it, then you can hang it in the residence.”

“En?” Xiao Zuo did not come to immediately, He Xuan then dipped into the ink, and lifted the brush, “Hurry and think of a Spring couplet, Ig will gift it to you to hang in the residence.”

“Mm.” Xiao Zuo reminisced the words he often saw in the palace in the past, thought to something, then softly said, “Experiencing innumerable trials transforms one [as sturdy as] iron bone, encountering the frost will only make the autumn waters more clear.”

The hand He Xuan was using to hold brush with paused. The thick ink created a deep stain on the red Spring couplet, then he knitted his eyebrows and crumpled that spring couplet into a ball and threw it, then pulled another from the side. Just as he wanted to open his mouth, Xiao Zuo first spoke, “I was speaking nonsense just now, don’t think too hard about it, your Highness. A hundred years in the heavens and earthworld returns vigour, a unification of the mountains and riverscountry protects the peace. Let us write of the flourishing and peace of the country.”

He Xuan looked at him, wrote what he said, then placed it to the side to air dry it and gave it to him, saying, “Take it back to the residence and hang it. Mygu writing is worth a thousand golds, you must keep it well.”

“Of course.”

Xiao Zuo took it with a smile, and carefully rolled it up and used a thin string to tie it, and heard He Xuan say, “During the Spring Festival, the palace sends out a lot of New Years items, and would also hold banquets and such, in principle, it is not much different with Nan Liang,. At that time, Ig will send some New Years items over.”

“En, thank you, your Highness.”

As they spoke, it was already noontime. He Xuan originally wanted to get Xiao Zuo to stay and have lunch, but there was a matter in the courts that needed to be dealt with, and it was not convenient for Xiao Zuo to go with him, so [Xiao Zuo] first went back to the residence.