Chapter 10: Damn Idol

* * *

Jae-ho Choi, the CEO of Ryan Entertainment, felt a bit bewildered after receiving the report.

The report from the rookie development team, which had been selecting members for Team B, was long, but it could be summarized as follows:

There's a friend who's so good that we're not sure if they should be put in Team B.

If we do put them in Team B, we need to clearly define how to use them.

In other words, the applicant named Han Si-on might become an obstacle for TakeScene's debut.

'Well, how good can someone be?'

Of course, there are many geniuses in the world, so they could be really good.

But...

'How much does being good at music matter in an idol survival show?'

Musicians generally succeed if they're good at music.

But idols don't succeed just because they're good at music.

That's why the job of an idol is often belittled, and why such suffocatingly cruel moments arise.

As someone who has witnessed countless such moments, Choi Jae-ho couldn't understand the concern over the participant Han Si-on.

But even he was surprised when he watched Han Si-on's video.

"Hmm..."

He's good.

No, he's ridiculously good.

It's not that he sings well; he's playing with the song.

The rookie development team seemed to have given a high score to Han Si-on's free song "Tony Bright," but Choi Jae-ho thought differently.

The designated song "Flower Language" was even more impressive.

A twenty-year-old young genius rearranging an acoustic guitar song?

I get it.

He probably wanted to show off his shining talent.

He probably wanted to flaunt how good he is.

But "Flower Language" is a song that loses its flavor if sung that way.

Han Si-on knew this and sang it calmly and accurately.

It was astonishing.

For a young genius to have restraint.

'There was a reason for the deliberation.'

But despite his admiration, Choi Jae-ho didn't hesitate.

His thoughts remained unchanged.

If it were 3-4 years into a solo career, I might not know, but in the survival show, Han Si-on alone can't beat TakeScene.

He'll probably be frustrated.

Why can't the other Team B members sing like him?

Why is TakeScene's stage better when considered individually?

'It would be great if he could make TakeScene the underdog by receiving praise in the individual mission.'

Of course, this is from the perspective of the producer of TakeScene, and as the CEO of Ryan Entertainment, he's interested in Han Si-on.

This kid must be signed as a trainee.

Even if it means offering a huge signing bonus to a trainee for the first time in Ryan Entertainment's history.

If not...

'Could one member of Team B debut through a special process?'

Making TakeScene a six-member group and adding Han Si-on might not be bad.

* * *

The notification of my acceptance to ComingUp Next came over the phone.

Given my skills, it was an expected result, but I still let out a sigh of relief.

I thought I would be accepted, but I was a bit anxious.

"Thank you."

- The filming will take place on February 23rd, and it will be a 3-day, 2-night shoot, so just bring clothes. We have toiletries and other necessities.

"Understood."

- Detailed information about the filming will be sent to you via email, and if you have any questions, you can call the number provided.

"Confirmed."

After hanging up the short call, I checked the email.

The purpose of the first filming is simple.

To finalize the members of Team B, who will compete with Team A (TakeScene).

The final number of Team B members is 5, but currently, 10 have been accepted.

Half of the participants must be eliminated through two stages.

The details of the stages weren't provided, but the words "individual" and "team" were mentioned.

The individual stage will probably be singing, and the team stage will likely focus on performance.

Whatever it is, it doesn't matter.

I'm confident in my performance.

I've never been a dance singer.

It's impossible for an Asian person to survive as a dance singer in the U.S. based on sex appeal.

But there are definitely moments on stage where dancing is necessary.

Especially in R&B and rap, which are predominantly black music.

So I paid thousands of dollars to the top trainers in Billboard to learn dance and got good reactions on stage.

I haven't done the precise, synchronized group dances typical of K-pop...

But I can follow if I'm shown.

Anyway, there was nothing special to prepare for the first filming.

So I spent the two weeks focusing on composing and vocal practice.

It's good to compose as much as possible during the unknown period.

As a human, I'll lack energy once I debut and start my activities.

Even if it's just the act of outputting pre-made songs, I can do multiple takes and get satisfactory results when I have the time.

On the other hand, vocal practice needs to be consistent, so I didn't overdo it.

It will take two years to reach the sound I want.

I'm still growing, and my height will increase until next year.

As my body grows, the shape of my vocal cords and resonance chamber will subtly change, so I can't perfect my sound now.

The only other thing I did was practice dance and listen to as much K-pop as possible.

It would be strange if I didn't know the songs everyone else knows.

"Hmm..."

But honestly, this is a bit frustrating.

K-pop in 2017 is ambiguous.

The songs that rank 1st and 2nd on the weekly charts are good.

They are good songs, and many would have been successful even if they were released a few years later.

I found a few songs that would have been amazing if they had been released a few years later.

But outside of the top 1-2, the quality definitely drops.

This is a subjective opinion, but the level of Korean music improved after the 2020 coronavirus.

The sound quality itself can't match Billboard, but that's a capital issue, and the production level is on par with Billboard.

That's why world stars emerged, and K-pop fans in the home country appeared.

But 2017 definitely didn't reach that level.

But thinking about it...

Isn't it the same with the Billboard charts?

In my previous life, I was a Grammy winner in 2028, and I lived until 2039 at my longest.

It's natural to feel the quaintness of songs from 11 (or up to 22) years ago.

Thinking this, I listened to a few Billboard songs, and they felt a bit quaint.

It wasn't a problem with K-pop.

Time passed productively, and soon the filming for ComingUp Next was just a day away.

* * *

The day before the filming, I visited the hospital where my parents were in a coma.

It feels like it's been a long time since I last came.

Actually, it hasn't been that long.

It's been a little over a month since they were discharged, right?

But it feels like a long time because it's been a while since I visited the hospital where my parents are lying in a coma.

Usually, I don't come to Korea after moving to the U.S.

I wouldn't want to come back unless it's for a concert, visa, or military issues.

Even when I do come to Korea, I don't visit the hospital often.

Facing my sleeping parents is a reminder of the pain of failure and the uncertainty of success.

Will I ever be able to sell 200 million albums?

Will I still be trapped in this non-linear time, even 200 or 300 years from now?

Is the devil mocking me, knowing this?

These thoughts come to mind.

But such thoughts are not good.

I might accidentally regress.

The media often calls me a psychopath or sociopath for not visiting my parents when I come to Korea, but I'm not that kind of person.

I'm just a coward.

I visited the hospital because of Uncle Hyun-su's call.

He asked me to visit the hospital before appearing on the show.

Damn, to be honest, it was a calculated move.

If I want to debut as an idol in Korea, I shouldn't be called a sociopath, right?

Beep... Beep... Beep...

In the quiet hospital room, listening to the heart monitor, my thoughts deepened.

The destination of my thoughts is always the contract with the devil.

Yes.

Once I achieve my goal, my parents will wake up at the moment I want.

It could be during a Super Bowl performance after succeeding as a rapper, or during a Korean tour with GOTM.

It could even be before my debut, before the accident.

That's why I repeat the infinite regression.

It's not when I'm 70 and have sold 200 million albums that my parents will wake up.

The devil's title, "Crossroads," doesn't simply mean a crossroad.

It means the boundary, the branching point, the singularity.

Every moment when fate splits.

Perhaps, parallel dimensions...

At that moment, Uncle Hyun-su entered the room.

"When did you get here?"

"Just now."

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine."

"..."

"I'm really fine. It all feels like a dream."

Uncle and I didn't talk much and just looked at my parents quietly.

Uncle was a junior in medical school to my parents, but they didn't know each other well.

Uncle arranged their blind date.

Thanks to Uncle, they got married, and I was born.

After that, the three of us became very close, almost like family.

Every time I regress, I ask the paramedics to take me to this hospital, all because of Uncle.

Moreover, Uncle even agreed to the difficult request of not declaring my parents as comatose for a few months.

It's more advantageous for me to delay the appointment of a guardian.

First, I need to be out of my minority.

"..."

Damn. I'm thinking about these things even in the hospital room.

A sigh escaped, and Uncle looked at me worriedly, so I changed the topic.

"Uncle, what time do you get off today?"

"I have a night shift, but... let's go out for dinner. Isn't tomorrow your first filming?"

"Yes."

"Are you prepared?"

"There's nothing to prepare. I just need to show up."

"Still, shouldn't you prepare something?"

"Someone with my skills doesn't need to prepare."

Uncle chuckled.

"Then let's go to a karaoke room. I want to hear how well you sing. Oh, and we need to buy some clothes. What time does the department store close?"

"But you have a night shift."

"I'll give you a tip for social life. When a doctor on night shift asks you to go out for dinner, it means they want to switch shifts with a colleague. Okay?"

"Would that be a good tip if I went to medical school?"

"Who knows? You might have a fling with a doctor later."

"Singers can't date."

"What? Why?"

"Album sales will drop."

Uncle laughed, mistaking my serious statement for a joke.

We had dinner together.

At the hospital cafeteria.

Because no one would switch shifts with him.

"..."

"You, don't misunderstand. It's not that Uncle has no friends; it's just that all my colleagues have something to do today..."

"It's fine. You're the best to me."

"No, I'm not!"

Except for Uncle's obvious sense of injustice, it wasn't a bad day.

* * *

Han Si-on, who woke up early in the morning, went jogging, and finished stretching, arrived at the filming location at 8 a.m.

After signing the program participation agreement and confidentiality agreement and having a brief interview with the writers, an hour had already passed.

"Mr. Han Si-on, we'll head to the filming location now."

February 23, 2017, 9 a.m.

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