Chapter 44

Tomorrow, May 25th, is my birthday.

This year, it will be my tenth birthday, which is considered a milestone.

I plan to tell my family that I will leave this village and enter the Tilia Magic Academy in the academic city of Doctus.

However, before I talk to my parents and grandfather, I want to tell the woman I value the most, Ridi, about my resolve.

Dinner is over, and it's time for our usual magic practice. Recently, my magic level has improved, so our sessions are more like conversations than practice, but I still use "practice" as an excuse to enter the room of the young woman—though she is actually over fifty.

When I enter her room, I see Ridi sitting in her usual chair.

Normally, I would greet her casually and enter, but today I enter the room a bit nervously.

She must have noticed my unusual behavior, as she looks puzzled and says, "What's wrong? You seem different today," while standing up and approaching me with concern.

I gesture that I'm fine and start the conversation by saying, "I have something important to tell you."

"I plan to go to Doctus in July to enter the magic academy..."

Ridi is surprised by the sudden news.

"The magic academy doesn't accept students under twelve. That's still two years away."

I shake my head slightly.

"I had Nicholas check, and there's no age limit for admission. If you pass the exam, you can enter at any age. Being twelve is just a tradition."

She looks disbelieving.

"Even if you enter the academy, there's nothing for you to learn. You already have the skills of a graduate."

"I know that. But at least I can learn on my own. I heard there's the largest library in the world there, and I can enter it freely if I'm a student. So..."

"What do you plan to learn? I can teach you everything I know..."

She seems flustered, unable to believe I'm leaving.

"My weakness is the attributes you don't have: darkness and metal. I think darkness has a lot of potential. That's why..."

She interrupts me mid-sentence.

"So... you find it boring to be with me? You want to go alone..."

Then, as if she had an idea, her expression brightens.

"I'll go with you. I like this village, but I'd rather be with you. There's no reason I have to stay here."

"What about Sharon's training? Both magic and sword skills are supposed to be taught by you. I don't think her sword skills have reached a defensive level yet."

She is speechless, saying, "Uh..."

"Also, isn't Doctus too crowded for you? You've just gotten used to the people in this village, and now you'll be in a city full of strangers?"

I had been thinking about not wanting to leave Ridi. But I also felt hesitant about taking her, who has social anxiety or even social phobia, to a big city like Doctus.

"It'll be fine. As long as I'm with you... I could go to Peliclitur with Gowee, so it shouldn't be a problem... The real issue is Sharon..."

Silence falls between us. Then, Ridi, with a slightly excited tone, suggests something new.

"I got it! Sharon can go to the academy with us. She'll definitely pass the exam. I'm sure of it!"

"You can't decide that without asking her. And there's the matter of tuition. I heard the top five in the entrance exam get their admission fees waived, but the annual tuition is around 3,000C (3 million yen). I can't burden Guy with that."

Ridi looks down at my words.

"I understand. I'll ask Sharon what she wants. I can cover the admission and tuition fees. So..."

"Sharon is still a ten-year-old child. It's not the right age to be separated from her parents, especially for a girl. Think about it carefully before you talk to her."

She nods slightly but mutters, "Why suddenly..."

"I've been thinking about this for a while. Whether I should stay here and if I do, whether I can protect this village... I'll talk about the encounter with the 'Messenger of God' that I foresee happening in the future."

"I'm a coward. I don't know when the 'Messenger of God' will appear before me. I don't know when the 'Enemy of God' will take action after that. When I think about it, the time I have left seems very short. For the past two years, I've been going into the forest, cutting into the time I spend with Ridi and Mel, for this reason. I want to do everything that can help me become stronger... If the academy turns out to be useless, I might quit. Taking Sharon there would be..."

Ridi seems shocked by my words and doesn't say anything.

"I like my current family and this village. I value Ridi more than my family and hometown from my previous world... I don't want to see these important things destroyed. For that, I'm even willing to ignore what God says..."

Then, I decide to share all my thoughts.

"I feel this way now, but the other party is God. It's easy for God to manipulate my mind. In my dreams, God said they would respect my wishes, but they might not keep that promise... Or, they might think it's enough to 'adjust' my 'wishes.' If that happens, I might not be able to think about my family, this village, or Ridi..."

Ridi whispers, "That's not possible..." and opens her eyes wide.

"To avoid that, I have to follow God's will. To be myself... I need to become strong. I need to have the power that God will acknowledge... Also, I think I'll meet the 'Messenger of God' within a few years."

She tilts her head slightly and counters, "Why do you think so? It could be much later."

"That's true. But in my dreams, I was told to 'protect and guide.' The 'Messenger of God' is supposed to be five years younger than me. If that's the case, they are probably five years old now. In ten years, they'll be fifteen. It seems more natural to think I'll meet them within ten years, given the condition to 'protect and guide.'"

She seems to be desperately trying to find a way to stop me.

"...Then, you shouldn't have time to go to Doctus, right?"

"Yeah. I might become stronger if I get sword training from Grandpa here. But my greatest weapon is magic. To improve my magic, I need to go to Doctus. Of course, I'll continue my sword training and go into the forest and mountains. There are more monsters there, so it will be good training."

She quietly says, "You've thought this through..."

"If you had known earlier, you could have consulted me. You decided everything on your own and then said you wanted to talk... I understand. I'll think about it. Whether to wait for you here or go with you. But before you go, you should talk to Mel and Sharon. They are old enough to think for themselves. And... well, it's fine."

I'm curious about what she left unsaid.

"And? I'm curious."

"Do you know how those children feel about you? They've always liked you. Since they were this small..."

She indicates a height of about one meter from the floor.

"Yeah, I had a vague idea. But it's not a romantic relationship, right? It's just the affection between family members, isn't it?"

Ridi looks exasperated and shakes her head. "You really didn't understand."

"The reason they worked so hard was for the family? Gowee's training is something a five-year-old can't endure. The same goes for Sharon. They studied and practiced magic incredibly hard because they wanted to be with you. No matter how talented, normal children wouldn't work that hard."

I had always thought that Mel and Sharon's efforts were abnormally high for children, but I attributed it to my own world's standards. I also think of the other member of the Zack Quartet, Dan.

"What about Dan?"

"He likes Mel. He worked hard to get her attention. They are all very sincere and good children."

I had realized this even without Ridi saying it, but I didn't want to say it out loud.

"You're right. They are all very sincere and good children. I don't want to mess up their lives with my mission. That's why..."

"So, you're going to ignore their feelings and go alone? I'll say it again. They are old enough to think for themselves. You should tell them your thoughts and feelings. You don't know what decisions they will make, but if they have thought it through, it's your duty to accept their decisions."

I couldn't find the right words to respond to Ridi's words.

(They are still just ten and eleven years old. But that doesn't mean I can ignore their feelings. I'll talk to them properly tomorrow. I'll tell them who I am, why I'm here, and how I plan to live from now on...)

I leave Ridi's room and return to my own.

I lie on my bed, thinking about various things.

(What do I want to do from now on? It's good to listen to God and help the 'Messenger of God.' But how do I achieve that? I don't want this village to be in danger. I don't want my family and Mel to be in danger... If I stay here, Grandpa and Father will try to protect me. But is that right? I have a wonderful family. Putting them in danger...)

I remember the revelation I had at the age of three.

(Thinking about it, God has given me a troublesome task. I don't remember much, but I think God said that if I live as I want, I will naturally fulfill God's purpose. But I don't feel like I'm living as I want... I'm trying to become stronger and considering leaving to avoid burdening my family. But this isn't the result of living as I want. I do think going on a journey is good, but it's more like training... Training...)

Then, I realize something.

(If I think of it as training, it might align with what I subconsciously wanted. I must have wanted to improve my abilities. I even chose the setting of a TRPG as my wish. So, maybe my current situation is what I wanted. It could be a very cunningly set trap... But, in a way, it's not entirely wrong to think of it that way...)

And, though it might be insensitive, a thought comes to mind.

(If I think of it as a TRPG, this could be the first campaign scenario. If I clear it, I can go on new adventures. The unclear clearing conditions are a drawback, but thinking of it this way might lead to better results. It might be insensitive to God and my family, but I can't go on without thinking this way... If scenario completion is what I need to be satisfied, I should do everything I can...)

Thus, I come to a decision about my journey.