Chapter 51

My heart is pounding. I ask the village doctor, "Why? Why?" in my mind.

"Zara, what should we do, I..."

"It's okay. It's okay."

Zara hugs me again and strokes my back as if soothing a baby.

I don't know if it's frustration or anger. Some indescribable emotion wells up in my eyes.

What has my life been? I feel so empty.

But it's good. No matter what, Zara doesn't change her attitude toward me. That's the only thing that makes me happy, knowing she still cares even though I have magic.

I feel better after crying.

I'm told to move back to the living room and sit on the sofa.

I feel bad for staying so long, but Zara asked me to.

She makes me a cup of tea with plenty of milk and sugar. The warmth in my mouth brings a sigh of relief.

I decide to try to sort out my still-confused thoughts.

"Still, did the doctor misdiagnose me?"

"I don't think so. She probably decided it was better to say I had no magic in that situation."

Zara tells me about the tragic lives of those with magic.

"In the old days, when natural disasters like rain, wind, deep snow, or drought occurred, sacrifices were offered to the gods and spirits."

The chosen ones were always children with magic. The gods and spirits would return their blessings in exchange for the great magic of the sacrifices.

"In my village, there was such a custom. I wish it had been abolished..."

This old custom exists in many regions, and the more isolated the place, the more blindly it is believed.

"Mel, you learned a lot from the doctor, didn't you? But when you left the village, she didn't try to stop you, right?"

"Yes. She only said to live well."

By the way, because I had a doctor's note, I was exempt from the magic test when I joined the army.

"Something must have happened in the village."

"Yes, I wonder what it was."

The doctor must have seen many things. Thanks to her, I have my current life, so I have no complaints.

The village's concern about the presence and amount of magic might be related to such rituals.

I've heard stories from my grandmother. Over a hundred years ago, the forest of the Fôret Elf village was withering. It's hard to believe now, as it's so lush. My grandmother didn't tell me how they revived the withering forest, but she did tell me to thank the forest god every day.

"Is the emphasis on magic in marriage to ensure a steady supply of sacrifices with abundant magic for the forest god?"

"…I'm not sure. But I think there are research results suggesting that magic power is largely inherited from parents."

"Umm..."

There's no point in dwelling on it.

I think I'll write to the doctor to ask about the details of magic power.

I slap my cheeks with both hands and change my mood.

"Thank you, Zara."

"No, I did nothing. I feel bad for making you worry."

"That's not true. I'm glad I got to know about myself."

I've always felt inferior because I had no magic. I lacked confidence in everything and blamed it on my lack of magic.

"But I do have magic. It's so silly. I used it as an excuse for things not going well, decided I was no good, and wallowed in self-pity."

Whether I have magic or not, I am who I am. I realized that today, and it's a big gain.

"So, I'm grateful to you, Zara."

"Mel..."

It feels like all the clouds in my heart have cleared.

I'll think about the complicated things later. Today, I'll go home and rest.

"I'll walk you to the dorm."

"Yes, thank you."

Since she offered, I decided to accept it.

I realize I've been hesitant to accept others' kindness, thinking I was somehow bad.

It's rude to reject someone's kindness.

Maybe I didn't have the luxury to notice such things before.

We walk to the dorm with almost no conversation.

We exchange "See you tomorrow" and part at the gate.

◇◇◇

The evening bell rings.

After feeding Amelia, I head to the cafeteria.

Amelia can now stay alone for a short time. One reason is that she's not comfortable with the crowded cafeteria.

The cafeteria is closer now. The room I'm using is apparently for officers. It's so intimidating. I need to move soon.

While thinking about this, I arrive at the cafeteria.

Today, I decide on the young bird roasted with rock salt, which the cafeteria lady recommends.

"Which do you want, regular bread or thin bread?"

Apparently, there are two types of bread today. The thin bread is rolled up with ingredients. I remember making something similar for the bandit brothers before.

I wonder if they're doing well. They were taken away by the knights.

But it doesn't matter.

Since it's a special occasion, I choose the thin bread. It comes with a salad, cheese, and vegetable soup.

Since it's early, I eat almost alone.

I pray to the gods and start eating.

"You can roll the vegetables and cheese together for a delicious bite."

A knight sitting diagonally in front of me gives me a tip. I see.

"The sauce in that pot is sweet and spicy."

"Thank you."

Following her advice, I cut the young bird with a knife, add the salad vegetables and cheese, pour the sweet and spicy sauce, and roll it up.

I take a big bite.

The thin bread is soft and slightly sweet.

The young bird roasted with rock salt is tender and perfectly seasoned. It goes well with the crunchy vegetables and the sweet and spicy sauce.

I finish two pieces in no time.

The knight sitting diagonally in front of me ate six pieces. It's good to be able to eat a lot. I want to be able to eat more too.

After taking a bath, I return to my room.

"Quack quack~"

"I'm back."

As soon as I return, Amelia sniffs me.

"Quack~"

Her eyes sharpen. She's interrogating me, "Did you take a bath?" I can only answer, "Yes."

"Amelia, you can't use the dorm's bath. We'll do it after we move."

"Quack~"

She seems to be saying, "I can't bathe, which is regrettable." She's whipping the floor with her tail.

"Hmm, that's true."

If I buy a large bucket and heat the room with the fireplace, it might be possible. I'll need help, though.

"That's it! Amelia, let's make soap."

"Quack?"

I come up with a way to use the fruit peels.

First, I grind the dried citrus peels in a mortar to make a powder. I hang a pot over the fireplace and boil the citrus powder. It turns a bright orange.

I strain it and mix it with the powdered soap. I pour the finished soap into a rectangular mold I bought for baking.

I think it will solidify nicely if I leave it for about a week.

Amelia wags her tail, sniffing the soap. She seems to like it.

Citrus peels are supposed to have antibacterial properties and are called beauty fruits.

"This is Amelia's soap, so let's use it after we move."

"Quack~"

It seems she's satisfied. Until then, please bear with just wiping your body.