Chapter 84

And so, the next day.

We all headed to Argento's house.

Argento seemed surprised that Fay had come along, but perhaps thinking there was no reason to refuse, he let us in.

In the reception room we were led to, I sat on the sofa.

Next to me were Fay and Cloa, and Laocles was a bit further away. ...It's okay. Everyone is here, and I can surely say what I want to say.

"Have you come to a conclusion?"

Argento said, looking at me intently. I felt almost overwhelmed by his gaze, but I had to say what I needed to say.

"I think we're at cross-purposes. Probably, what I want and what you want are different..."

I have to tell you that you and I are different beings.

"So, let me confirm. Let's confirm that we're thinking about different things."

Argento looked surprised, almost puzzled. He seemed intrigued, or perhaps it was all an act, and he was just finding it troublesome.

"Hmm. Confirmation, huh. If it will help alleviate your concerns, it's necessary, I suppose. What do you want to confirm?"

"First, what do you want from me?"

When I said this, Argento tilted his head slightly and answered.

"If you ask what I want, well, I want you to paint as an artist. And hopefully, become a well-known artist whose works are displayed in the royal palace... I wish for your success as an artist."

Argento smiled and said this.

It was pure goodwill. Probably.

...That's why we're at cross-purposes.

"I don't want to sell my paintings or become famous."

When I said this, Argento clearly showed a flustered expression.

"You... don't want to sell them?"

He didn't say he wanted me to sell my paintings. He only talked about status and fame... It seems, as I expected, Argento takes it for granted that paintings should be sold.

Probably, the more paintings are sold, the better, and other things don't matter much.

"I just want to eat once a day, live in the forest, and keep painting... I don't mind if they don't sell. I just want to keep painting."

When I said this, Argento looked like he was struggling to understand. He seemed to be listening to me seriously, but was desperately trying to grasp the meaning of my words.

"...And if I may be more selfish, I want to paint for people who like my work. Because I love painting and the paintings I create. So, I'm happy when people buy my paintings, but I don't paint to sell them... It's just that money is a way to get my paintings evaluated."

I hope you understand. I'm really anxious.

Argento seemed to be thinking deeply. Is he really considering it? Is he trying to understand my words?

Or is he just thinking about what to do with me?

"I also don't particularly want status."

"Why not?"

When asked why, I was at a loss. But I don't need status. It might be because it makes me uncomfortable, or because I've found a way to live happily without it.

...But ultimately, it's because status is a bundle of evaluations.

"Getting status means being evaluated, I think."

"...That's true."

"Evaluation is like a permission to be here, as my teacher taught me. I think so too."

When I said this, Argento started to try to understand my words again. So I waited a bit before continuing.

"Getting a place to belong is a happy and grateful thing. I've been given a place to belong in the Redgard territory, and then in Fay's heart, and I feel very comfortable."

"...Is that so? Then, wouldn't it be better to have more places to belong?"

"But no matter how many places I belong to, whether I want to be there is a different matter. I... don't really like high places... If I get a high status, I'm afraid the evaluations I receive will all be from high places, and that's not really suitable for me."

I prefer small, narrow places. I feel at ease in gaps. ...I'm like a pipe fox.

"Having more places to belong might be good, and it's not a bad thing to have. But I don't particularly need it... It's fine to have it, but it's also fine not to have it, which means I don't find status attractive."

A hint of anxiety appeared on Argento's face. To cover it up, Argento asked a maid in the corner to prepare tea. While the maids were preparing the tea, I said what I most wanted to say.

"And there's something I can't accept."

"...What is it?"

"I don't understand why you evaluated me."

"...Didn't I explain that yesterday?"

"Yes."

"Does that mean you weren't satisfied with my answer?"

I nodded at Argento's words.

Yes, I wasn't satisfied with that.

"I'm an artist. I paint, so naturally, I thought my evaluation would be based on my paintings."

When I said this, Argento nodded as if to say, "Of course."

"But your evaluation wasn't based on my paintings..."

"...It wasn't based on your paintings?"

This was probably the biggest misunderstanding.

Argento looked puzzled, as if he had indeed talked about evaluating the paintings.

...But what I wanted to know was something else.

"When I asked why you offered me this opportunity, you talked about how others evaluated my paintings, but you didn't say anything about the paintings themselves. I didn't know what you liked about my paintings or what you found appealing."

At this point, Argento finally realized the gap between us.

"That was a bit disappointing. You must have thought, 'This is good enough' when you saw my paintings. But that wasn't the evaluation of my paintings I was looking for... That was about selling the paintings, not evaluating the paintings themselves."

When I said this, a clear look of shock appeared in Argento's eyes.

...I think my feelings were conveyed more clearly than when I said, "This is a heavy conversation for me."

"I don't care if you think they're calming to look at or if you like the colors, or even if you don't understand them. I just want you to think about the paintings. I want you to look at the paintings, not what they represent. That's what I want."

"Please, tell me again. What did you think of my paintings when you saw them?"

Argento was silent for a while. He seemed composed as he elegantly sipped his tea, but he also seemed to be thinking hard about something.

...As I waited, heart pounding, for Argento's words.

"...Sir Argento, this might be presumptuous of me, but..."

At this point, Fay interjected.

"You haven't actually seen Togo's paintings, have you?"

Argento froze, staring at Fay without blinking... Then, noticing my gaze, he looked at me awkwardly.

...I see. This person hasn't seen my paintings.

It all made sense. That's why... well, I can understand his previous responses. He was probably thinking hard about what to say because he was making up a lie. Yes, because he couldn't comment on something he hadn't seen.

"You must have only heard rumors. About an artist who paints something a bit unusual. And that's why you approached Togo."

When Fay said this, Argento didn't deny it.

He just remained silent, and time passed...

"...So, what are you saying?"

The words finally spoken were quite sullen, and I almost flinched.

But I shouldn't flinch now.

"I'm an artist. I want evaluations of my paintings. ...If I can't get that kind of evaluation or a place to belong, this isn't a place I want to be. Because I'm an artist, not a decoration."

Argento looked a bit awkward. Probably because he hadn't seen my paintings. He might be regretting not being able to talk his way out of it. But if he thought about it, my words weren't in vain.

"None of the conditions you offered were things I wanted. Money or status, I can't be satisfied with them."

It's not dissatisfaction, but rather, I can't be satisfied. ...Hmm. Is this considered dissatisfaction?

Argento leaned back in his chair and glanced at Fay.

"Did the Redgard family put you up to this?"

"No, not at all. ...But I thought it would be rude for no one from the Redgard family to be present when our artist speaks."

Fay gave a polite response... Then, his expression softened.

"Besides, my best friend is turning down a big opportunity, so I thought I should steel myself too. I didn't think it was right to let him do it alone."

His expression gave me a boost. Argento looked like he had the energy sucked out of him.

"Sir Argento..."

Using the energy I received, I managed to convey my message.

"Still, I have to decline this offer. It's too heavy for me. So heavy that I can't move forward."

Then Argento was silent again.

...And when he spoke again, his voice was quite cold.

"...What a disappointment. I thought you were smarter than that."

"Yes, I'm not very smart. I'm not the kind of being you want."

While feeling disappointed, I was also a bit relieved.

Being disappointed means being understood. It means that you understand what kind of being I am... that you understand I'm not the kind of being you want.

So, I'm happy.

This is a step forward from someone who couldn't even face disappointment.

...Being given up on isn't a bad thing. It's something I need to live my life. I can't become the kind of being that's wanted.

Argento might have been a bit surprised by my response. He might have expected me to be dejected by the disappointment.

"Remember this. Someone like you is easily replaceable. Your paintings have no real value. To talk as if you're a great artist is sheer arrogance."

At first, what he said was different, but this is probably his true feelings.

Since he's started to speak his true feelings, this is also a step forward.

"Yes, I think there are many people who can replace me for you. I don't think I'm that good at painting. At least, not compared to professionals."

When I responded, Argento snorted. Yes, my painting skills are probably snort-worthy.

"That's why I want to go to someone who says, 'There's no one who can replace you,' rather than someone who says, 'There are many who can replace you.'"

But even with snort-worthy painting skills, there are people who like them. And I'm happy about that.

"Then, you should stay in the borderlands forever. ...You'll regret it. You'll never succeed."

"I prefer someone who laughs or feels regret with me when I fail, rather than someone who makes me succeed."

Fay reacted a bit next to me.

Fay looked at me gently... Then, he smiled. I felt happy, so my face relaxed too.

Then Argento looked at me as if I were something incomprehensible and sighed.

"Hmph. Do you really think you can live with such resolve?"

"If I can't live, I'd rather die."

When I said this, Argento was momentarily taken aback. His gaze shifted from 'incomprehensible' to 'unfathomable,' or even 'non-human.'

...Being looked at like that isn't a bad thing. If I'm seen as something unfathomable, something non-human... something completely incomprehensible, then this is the right choice.

"I want to live in a place where I can live. So, I have to decline this offer."

I said this again and bowed deeply to someone I can never understand.

"...Hmph. As you wish. I have no time to waste on someone who lacks the ambition to succeed."

Argento said this sullenly and then glared at Fay.

"You said you're the son of Redgard, didn't you?"

"Yes."

Fay straightened up and looked tense.

"Do you understand? You..."

"Excuse me."

I interrupted the tense atmosphere between the two by raising my hand a bit.

"...What is it?"

Argento seemed a bit deflated by my sudden interruption. Fay looked startled. Yes, if the tension is relieved, that's best.

"Sir Argento..."

At this point, I decided to say something Fay couldn't.

"Even if I decline this offer, you won't do anything bad to the Redgard family, will you?"

"...What?"

Argento looked even more taken aback.

"Like excluding the Redgard family or causing trouble for the Redgard territory, you won't do that, will you?"

When I continued, Argento just stared wide-eyed without saying anything.

"...Please, don't do that?"

I was worried, so I confirmed. Argento...

"...Nonsense. What are you talking about?"

"I've heard that some people do such things..."

It's important to confirm. It's also important to convey the request that 'I don't want you to be mean to Fay if I decline.' Yes.

...When I glanced at Fay, he was trembling, trying to hold back laughter.

"Hey, Fay Brad Redgard! This is..."

"Sorry, Sir Argento!"

Eventually, Fay laughed and bowed. He also pushed my head down, so I bowed sincerely.

"He was worried after hearing such a story before! ...Hey, Togo! Only third-rate people do such petty things. A top-tier family like the Argentos wouldn't do such harassment, right? Right?"

"...I see."

So, that's it. I didn't need to worry.

Good. I'm relieved. Since Fay says so, Argento won't harass the Redgard family... right? Then, that's good.

"That's good."

"Yeah, that's good. You should be grateful for Sir Argento's magnanimity."

"Thank you."

...Argento looked, well, troubled. Yes.

Thank you. Yes.

Argento was silent. He looked a bit troubled, staring at us intently.

I was a bit intimidated, but I couldn't change my feelings, so I had to look back straight.

...At that moment.

"Right. Sir Argento, you haven't actually seen Togo's paintings, have you?"

Fay said this abruptly. Argento, of course, looked displeased. Well, it's a bit annoying to be reminded of one's mistake multiple times.

...But Fay ignored Argento's displeasure and started rummaging through the bag behind the sofa. The guards around us tensed, thinking he might pull out something suspicious. ...But what Fay pulled out was a frame.

"I thought I'd bring it so you could see it properly!"

Fay smiled broadly and showed the painting I had created. The forest one. The one that was displayed in Fay's house.

...Probably, this was the first time Argento saw my painting.

It's a watercolor of a forest, so it's not particularly unusual, I think. "There are many who can replace you" is correct.

But... I suddenly felt Argento's expression change as he looked at the painting.

...Argento didn't say anything in the end. But this was enough.

His expression changed a bit. He looked at my painting seriously. If he was even momentarily drawn in, this was enough.

...I got what I wanted. I'm happy.

We left Argento's house with this momentum.

We returned to the inn... Laocles checked outside the window and the corridor, and Cloa checked inside the room... Then, Cloa burst out laughing.

"The wisest lie is the innocent one, they say! Truly!"

I was wondering what she meant when Cloa suddenly hugged me tightly. ...Eh?

"A, ah, Cloa-san..."

Soft. Warm. I can't calm down!

"Hehe, what a wonderful spirit! Straightforward against authority, turning around at the open gate and coming right back!"

Cloa started spinning me around. ...This person has really become more like the forest.

"...I didn't expect you to do that."

Laocles looked at me with a mix of exasperation and a relaxed smile. Laocles has become softer since we first met. Not like a statue, but this is good too.

"Argento didn't expect that either. He seemed quite troubled."

Yes, he looked troubled. Maybe he was planning to do something terrible. If so, it was good to say, "Please don't."

"...Will Argento do something terrible to the Redgard territory?"

"Well... probably not something obvious. After being told that..."

I see. That's good. It's important to say things clearly. Yes.

"...But, does that mean he'll do something not so obvious?"

Thinking about what Fay said earlier, I got stuck on this point. ...No, could that be the case?

"Well, probably... yes."

It seems so. He might do something not so obvious.

That's not good. I don't know what kind of not-so-obvious things, but that's not good!

"Well, there's nothing we can do. Yes. We've been prepared since the Red Dragon came."

"But..."

"It's not your fault! The Argentos were probably interested in the Red Dragon anyway. They might have been jealous and trying to crush us, and this just triggered it."

...I see. Yes. The Red Dragon is rare. Everyone seems to want it. Probably, Argento wants it too. A dragon.

"So, we need to strengthen the security of the Redgard territory. We don't know what might happen. Cloa, do you have any ideas?"

"Well, maybe just a needle in the social scene?"

"Then, bringing Togo should be fine."

No, it's