Chapter 10 - 19

He realized that the Xie Mu, with only his 19-year-old self’s memories, had fallen in love with the man who had once hurt him.

Tan Tao, who lay immobile, felt bursting with hope at that moment, the gaze he directed towards Xie Mu’s back was practically burning.

Xie Mu was willing to forgive him?

The 19-year-old him was more naive than he had thought.

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“You’re really…impervious to reason.”

He stood up, condescendingly staring down at the youth’s vigilant gaze, sneering, “But, like this is also fine.”

Was not what he liked, just this type of Xie Mu?

At the very least, when Xie Mu was still with him, he had not been this easy to coax.

[Ding! Bo Qin’s favorability: 70]

He trampled on the man lying on the ground, “You’ve taught him well.”

A pity. These people, once they made a mistake, they would only continue making the same ones.

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Just as Tan Tao understood him, he also understood this childhood friend of his. To present such an image of deep attachment right now, it was still a little too early.

Bo Qin unlocked the fingerprint lock, pulling open the door and walking out. Behind him, Xie Mu let out a sign, going to support the man up from the floor.

“Although I’ve only recovered a small portion of my memories, I believe that that was not your real intention. As a person, you’re gentle and treat me well, definitely not that kind of person.”

“And did we not agree to spend a lifetime together?”

Xie Mu dedicatedly helped to absolve his lover of blame.

Tan Tao stared unwaveringly at the worried visage of the youth, eyes red and full of affection.

Xie Mu, surrounded by a love-filled atmosphere, supported the person onto the couch, mentally questioning the system.

[System, is the saint halo still hanging above my head? Even I was touched by myself.]

The system took a glance, replying honestly, [No.]

Tan Tao rested in the hotel until the drug effects wore off. During this time, his little lover was constantly by his side. Even as his body was stiff and unable to move, he had never felt such warmth before.

This was undoubtedly an excellent opportunity.

Tan Tao had always worried that once Xie Mu recalled his memories, he would go back to abhorring and avoiding him. The better the youth treated him, the more trusting his eyes were when looking at him, the more restless his heart.

It was like a beautiful mirage. A light gust of wind would be it took to scatter the dream, external forces unneeded in laying ruin to it.

Lbkfnfg, ktja tjv tf tfjgv pera cbk.

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“Tbe, sbe gfwfwyfgfv, yea jgf ralii kliilcu ab yf abufatfg klat wf?”

Ktf wjc wjcjufv ab rajcv klat vloolmeias, jiatbeut tlr ybvs gfwjlcfv rbwfktja glulv. Fqbc tlr vfilmjafis qgfaas ojmf, ijs fsfr oliifv klat tbqf ibbxlcu abkjgvr atf sbeat.

Ktlr wbwfca wluta yf atf wbra jcalmlqjafv bo tlr ilof.

“I might not have remembered everything, but, Tan Tao, I believe you were acting in my best interests.”

Xie Mu’s face was serious with some of that youthful innocence, “I won’t think about that anymore. Let’s live this life together like this, alright?”

Those words, spoken like an oath, made the man unable to stop himself from stretching out a tense hand to pull him into his embrace. He was grateful for everything that happened, grateful for Xie Mu.

“Darling, I promise you. I’ll protect you well in the future.”

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Regarding Xie Mu’s missing memories, they chose to close their mouths, not mentioning it.

They were like a mine, as long as they remained unstepped on, they would never explode.

Bo Qin was devoted to speeding up the explosion.

He need only to try a little for Tan Tao’s influential businesses to promptly collapse. Then by cutting off his clan’s support, Tan Tao would fall into plight.

Up until now, he had vainly believed that he had achieved his current position due to his own efforts. However, reality had set in before him. Tan Tao realized, so long as Bo Qin wished, he need only to exert minimal effort to suppress him and subjugate him forever.

Bo Qin deliberately did not do so. It was like he was flying a kite, tightening and loosening the string, watching his former friend’s futile struggling to no avail.

Very soon, Tan Tao could no longer endure it.

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Currently, even the most minimal dignities, he could not maintain. Essentially everyone in the circle knew that he, Tan Tao, had displeased someone. Before, each and every one of them fought to flatter him, but now, he was avoided like some plague.

That, however, actually mattered little as Tan Tao did not care for their opinions. What was most unacceptable to him was that the old man, who had declared twenty years ago to have had a vasectomy, brought back a 14-year-old bastard.

Discerning his intentions, he was subtly revealing to replace Tan Tao with that little son.

He was unsure if it was the old man’s original intent or Bo Qin’s idea. However, he knew, as long as that person took his position, he would no longer have a chance to turn over.

As of late, no one had looked for him for work. Tan Tao felt as if he were expiring on the spot; in this circle, his name already no longer existed.

For a man who had been surrounded by admirers from birth, these feelings were too awful. They were awful to the point where his well-disguised mask of gentleness could almost no longer be concealed.

“Tan Tao, you haven’t eaten in a day. I simmered some soup for you, at least drink a little, ba.”

From the doorway came the youth’s hesitant voice. He was worried about his lover and wanted to help share his burden, but he didn’t know how. He could only try and take care of Tan Tao’s health.

“I said I wanted to be alone for a while, did you not hear!”

The usually gentle visage of the man showed signs of irritation. He forcefully smashed the ashtray onto the ground, shattering it into pieces, a splintering sound resounding.

The youth was obviously startled. Unsure of what he did wrong, he watched the strange scene before him with fearful eyes.

“I, I was worried about your health…”

“Mushroom soup again?”

Tan Tao knew he shouldn’t have vented his temper, but, whenever he thought about all the mushroom soup he had drunk in these past few days, the senseless anger in his heart would not cease.

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“I thought you liked mushrooms, so…”

“Who the fuck likes eating mushrooms!!”

The man swept a whole tableful of documents onto the floor. Items fell onto the ground, emitting a heavy thud. He was breathing heavily, eyes flushed red, releasing all of the fury he had pent-up from the last few days.

Bitter melon, sugarless coffee, mushroom soup, all things that Bo Qin fucking liked.

He was frustrated by work. While his lover appeared meek and docile, the food he cooked, the soup he stewed, even the clothes he bought for him were all according to another man’s preferences.

Some of the time, Tan Tao even thought that Xie Mu didn’t like him, only liking the phantom from his dream, a memory of Bo Qin.

Bitter melon, sugarless coffee, mushroom soup, all reminders to Tan Tao that his lover mistook him as another.

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

If this was before, Tan Tao would still rein himself in and coax him, slowly grooming the youth. But now, a large amount of stress was suspended above his head, and Tan Tao could not spare thought for Xie Mu’s feelings.

He even used him as an outlet for his anger.

Since he had been brought back from the hospital, Tan Tao had always worn a mask of gentleness, warmly coaxing him. This was the first time the youth had seen Tan Tao without his veil.

The unfamiliarity was frightening.

“Tan Tao…”

He couldn’t understand why his lover had suddenly become so horrid. Evidently, he only wanted to care about him.

“Get out!”

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Tan Tao impatiently looked up, his eyes, dizzy from inhaling copious amounts of smoke, met Xie Mu’s red-rimmed gaze. Instantly, his heart became even more irritated.

“I only wanted to help you.” Xie Mu did not obediently take leave, stubbornly explaining with his eyes red.

“Help me? Do you understand these documents? Do you understand the inner workings of the stock market? Do you know how to convert a large sum of money quickly?”

Tan Tao knew that he should not act this way, but when he saw the youth’s confused and aggrieved eyes, he could no longer hold back from venting it all out, “If you can’t help with anything, don’t bother me!”

His lover, who had been dependent upon him and constantly holding back his emotions, completely melt down under his disdaining tone of voice. His tears could not be held back, dripping, bada bada, onto the ground. Mentally he was only nineteen, and he had been spoiled ever since he had come back from the hospital. How could he endure such words from his usually gentle and soft-spoken lover?

Tan Tao watched the youth, who knew only to cry when met with obstacles, with slightly disappointed eyes.

The Xie Mu he had known would always quickly calm down, no matter what had happened. He would help Bo Qin handle all sorts of urgent matters, without a doubt, the best and most devoted secretary. Unbeknownst to Xie Mu, Tan Tao had stolen peeks at him many a time. The more he looked, the stronger his youthful obsession was.

Finally, he could no longer resist and made his move on Xie Mu.

And when Xie Mu lost his memories and was without support, he brought him home with him.

“You really aren’t anything like the Xie Mu I had known.”

To the youth, that sentence undeniably hurt the most.

Tan Tao had completely repudiated the 19-year-old him even though he had previously spoiled him into the palm of his hand.

Eyes reddened, he tried hard not to drip any more tears. His voice mournful, he sobbed, “You like the 22-year-old me, don’t you?”

Tan Tao’s fist slammed violently onto the table, “Yes! I like the secretary who was capable of solving matters perfectly, so be quiet. Don’t make me any more bitter melon, mushroom soup, alright?”

Story translated by Chrysanthemum Garden.

Xie Mu regarded him stiffly, finally unable to hold back from running out of the study crying.

Tan Tao watched the youth’s retreating back, massaging his brows, eyes full of weariness.

If only, the one who liked him was the 22-year-old Xie Mu, how good would that be.

The youth left Tan Tao’s house, ambling along foreign roads. In the end, he somehow fumbled his way to the hospital in which he had woken up.

He found the doctor who had been in charge of him, eyes still red-rimmed and even somewhat swollen:

“Doctor, I would like to recover my memories.”

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