Chapter 10 - Hell

Hell

…Go to hell, Mr. Phat! This is your punishment!!

(The boss didn’t actually say this)

“Ohhhh. What great view.”

Sudayu who sits in the cubicle next to me makes some appreciative noises while looking out at the ladies from the PR department that are playing in the pool outside. I look at the cleavages showing from the colorful beginnies and feel glad that I’m gay so I don’t feel anything looking at this sight. “This is during work hours, can you go out to play like that?”

“Oh, you don’t know anything, bro. This is break time for the PR department.” Yu made an exclamation of disapproval. Seeing that I glanced to the floor, he hurriedly explained. “They have different break times from us.”

“Hmmm.” I make a sound deep in my throat, looking at the picture of those Kinnaree in a daze with my chin on my hand. A while later, I let out a yawn.

It’s especially peaceful in the office today. There is no call of terror from the PR department making us have to argue over each other who will be the sacrificed. Today, Yu dressed up as a rich kid, with a white shirt and black and white striped pants, covered with a cream color vest and a tie hanging loosely on his neck. Moreover, he used some gel to slick his hair back… If I have time, I think I should take a picture of him every day and make it into a collection.

I have been working here for a week now, usually, my job would be some basic work such as fixing some technical problems for the people from other departments which come to consult with us. I also did some website coding with Nopparat and help Yu worked for some of his clients. All in on, I come to work on the clock and went back home exactly on the clock too… Isn’t this too relaxed?

When I asked Yu, he laughed and told me that just wait for the boss to find us some big project, then we would be so busy there is no time to sleep at all. Since our department is still small, and each of us has our own responsibilities according to our position, such as me who is a Software Analyst, would mostly work on collecting the information of consumers’ wants and preferences before designing the system and sending it to a programmer to continue working on the code. But in actuality, there are only so many people in our department, so each of us would have to be able to do everything by ourselves.

“Ohhhh.. God bless the bikinies.” Yu continued to praise the god of beginnings. When I glance at him, he passes me a small binocular to use.. Hm, turn out there is a lady who is especially voluptuous who just joined in the pool.

“Since there is Kinnaree, there should also be the Kinnanorn [1] too, right? Where are they?” I ask while tapping my finger on the glass window.

“If guys also went into the pool, then those ladies won’t,” Yu argues, before realizing something. “Oh, actually those guys will come to play at the pool after work.”

Hm… Maybe I should ask the boss to work overtime someday.

”Should I also bring a swimsuit tomorrow?” A soft, deep voice sounds right next to my ear. Not again! This pup! Geerana moved closer and whispered into my ears while I was daydreaming about the Kinnanorns playing in the pool.

Since when did he get this close… I was startled and tried to move away, but found that all the space for exit was blocked. I turn and try to send an SOS signal to Yu, who is too busy gazing at the girls and doesn’t notice the gaze that his husband- cough, Nopparat is giving him at all.

I jumped for the second time when I felt a warm breath blowing on my ear… That’s tickled… a warm hand also is placed on my thigh. Even if he didn’t move his hand in a caress like some pervert old man, all of my nerves and attention have gone to focus on that spot.

May Day! Mayday! Rattiphat needs help ASAP! This boy is too much, I can’t stand it! Someone please give him the yellow card, or maybe the red card, and kick him out of the field!

When no help comes, I could only take the matter into my own hand and reply sharply (but also shakingly). “Do you want to swim? That’s nice. Good exercise.”

“No, I simply just want you to look at me.” There he goes again. I continue to take damage from his attack, and before I can open my mouth to reply, a voice is whispered in my ear coquettishly. “But don’t you already know that?”

Ahhhhhhhh! I know! I know! …But even then I can’t just say it out loud like that, can’t you understand? And please don’t make a sound like that again, I feel like I am about to have diabetes.

I couldn’t stand it anymore and turn around to pinch and pull his cheeks with no more restraint or consideration. “Jesus, what is your face made of? How can it be so thick?”

He gave me a smile that made my heart melt. “Love…”

Oh, mr. Rattiphat going to faint now.

Ringggg

The buzzer sound, making me startled, and hurriedly release my hand from his cheeks. I immediately push myself out to the front, usually, this buzzer will sound when there is a guest who comes to consult the IT department. I dragged Yu who was muttering something in a small voice by the collar to come to the front together with me.

The guest who is waiting for us is a cute man whose face looks very young, but should probably be the same age as me. That’s a pity.. or he might really match my taste perfectly. The man smiles cutely before speaking softly.

“I just got this, but don’t know what to do with it. Can someone take a look at this for me please?” He said before passing me a box.. of Ipad. Hmm?

“Oh.. and if my nephew wants to play a game on it, do I have to go hire the computer shop to install the game for 17 USD [2] or so?” He asks while Yu immediately replies. This guy is a diehard fan of Steve Jobs who has gone to heaven. “No, no! You don’t have to, senior Mu-Noi [3] . You can sign up for an Apple ID for free, and then download any game you want by yourself.”

“Hm, how do you do that? Can you show me please?” The cute man tilted his head slightly.

I also move closer to see Yu pressing this and that while explaining. “Here’s the trick.. You sign up for an ID here… This is the app store. Then, just an application that said it’s free.. click here… and click download.” Yu’s hand moves really fast. “And then press here… See, it’s free. Alright, senior Mu-noi, please fill in your personal information here.”

The man named Mu-noi who should actually be named Little boy [4] holds the Ipad and starts pressing on it diligently before complaining. “The keyboard is so hard to use.”

Yu received the Ipad back from him with a chuckle. “It’s always like this at the beginning. You will get used to it soon. Personally, I feel that the smartphone keyboard is even harder to type.”

After that, Yu started to demonstrate how to install more applications as well as how to use some basic functions. I also watch with him since I couldn’t afford to own a device of this brand. The budget of a person who lives in some dingy apartment like me is just enough for the android phone with a green logo. Moreover, I also bought it second-hand from a friend who wants to change to a brand whose logo is a fruit with a bite missing.

When all is said and done, the cute man smile sweetly while taking us before leaving. While Yu and I are about to go back to our seat (so Yu can continue to look at the girls playing in the pool before their break end), someone else walk into our office. Yu and I pause before turning fully to look at the new comer… whose face is very familiar.

Very.. familiar….

“AHHHH!” I jump back. It’s the boy who eats the corpse!

"

"

If this is a TV series, then the screen would probably show the flashback of the scene when Mr. Rattiphat met with the very creepy music club and a mysterious shoe… The boy who does not only eat the human corpse but also the monster corpse walks closer before lifting his hand and gives a 360 degree wai that leaves everyone stunned. He put something down on the counter.

“Please look at it.”

I slowly bring myself back and very slowly slide closer to the corpse-eating boy. Yu see the way I walk and let out a laugh. “What are you doing, bro?”

“Shuddup.” I bare my teeth at him while continuing to move at the same turtle speed.

“I only eat corpses, not living humans.” The cannibal boy- cough, the corpse-eating boy declared. I start to approach him in a more carefree manner… just very slightly. “Ah, I want my corpse cremated.. rather than going into your stomach.”

Yu continued to laugh very loudly. The corpse-eating boy pulls a face and proceeds to diss me right in front of my face. “Who hired this stupid uncle to work here?”

Hey, even if this uncle is stupid, but I am actually… stupid. Nevermind. “So, what do you want us to take a look at…Wow! A Tamagotchi [5] !” I haven’t seen one of these for a long time. When I was young, since my family didn’t have that much money, I used to secretly play the one my friend owns. Back then, I didn’t even have enough money for food someday, so I could only look at my friends playing jealousy. This kind of thing is at least 10 years outdated, why is there one here? I look at the kid puzzledly.

“It ran away from home [5] . What do I do?”

“Oh, so your Tamagotchi ran away from home..”

……

….

…

..

“…” I look at the corpse-eating boy.

“…” The corpse-eating boy looked back at me.

What the hellllllllllll. If your Tamagotchi ran away from home, then why must you bring it here for me to look at!?

“I am extremely sorry, kid. But this is the IT department.” I give him a fake smile like a

Outstanding Employee of the Year while shouting for this kid’s parents to come to take him away in my head. I am sorry, whoever is the parents of this kid.

“But isn’t Tamagochi a digital pet?” The kid shot back with a straight face.

“…” I turn to look at Yu who shakes his head. “I have never played this.”

… Why are you so useless?

Geerana probably feels that we have left for a really long time so he comes out to check on us. He walks up to me and stands so close that it’s almost like he is trying to snuggle up on me. Even more, he also stealthily embraced me under the disguise of moving closer to look at the Tamagotchi. Hm… Why am I feeling that my heart is beating very strangely.. as if it might explode out of my own chest anytime. “Did your dog run away from home?”

“!” Everyone simultaneously turns to look at Geerana who just smiles slightly. “If it ran away from home, then there is no helping it. It’s better to just reset the game and start raising a new one.”

“Have you played this game before?” I asked while looking at his face in complete surprise. When people were playing it, he should be really young, or maybe not even born yet.

“My big brother did.” Ge says with a light laugh. “The dog he raised suddenly ran away from home. We all panicked and waited for 3 days, seeing that it really didn’t come back, so in the end he just restarted the game.”

This is the first time I learn that the issue of Tamagochi running away from home is extremely common…

After solving the problem of Tamagochi running away from home by finding a toothpick to press reset and get the boy a new pet to raise, we all scattered back to our seats. Just when I put my butt down on the chair and about to move my hand to enter the password to unlock my computer, a cup of steaming hot coffee is put down on my table along with a sweet smile from the owner of the said hand. I glanced at the clock on the wall and found that now it is exactly 2 P.M. This person is so punctual as if the person was a robot with a set program.

“Thank you.” I mutter and receive a joyful expression as the answer.

“Wow. So he’s serious!”

“!! Don’t just appear out of nowhere like this!” I was spooked by Yu who suddenly protruded his face out from the barricade separating our table… Are you trying to copy a horror movie? I flick his forehead once, before picking up the mug and take a sip of the coffee. Hm.. The taste is just right. Now I really want to know how Ge got his hand on the information about all of my preferences. Every time he bought me something, it’s always one of my favorites. Sometimes I wonder if he has some special technique, or maybe raising some kind of ghost to follow me…

I run my hand through the bangs that fall into my eyes and push them behind my ear… I really need to get a haircut soon. These bangs keep falling and annoy me all day long that I have gone through the motions of putting them behind my ears enough to develop a habit.

“If it annoys you so much, then why did you get this haircut in the first place?” Yu ask while I was clicking my tongue at the hair that decided to join me in drinking my coffee. I pour some water into a clear cup before dipping my hair in there to wash away the coffee while blinking rapidly. “When I went to the barbershop and they asked me what style I want to get, I just pointed at some random picture since I am too lazy to think about it. Turns out it’s a picture of some singer so I got a hairstyle like this. At first, I almost got a one sided skin-head too, luckily I noticed it and stopped the barber in time.”

Yu laughed and turned to search for something on his desk for a while, before coming back with a very cute pattern box. “What is this?”

“Legacy of Miss Wan. She left this with me before going on maternity leave.” Having said that, he opened the box to reveal a collection of some accessories. Yu picked up a row of thin hair clips that students like to use before beckoning me to move over. The small man proceeded to clip up my bang very neatly.

“Oh~” I look at myself in the mirror… Much better. However, I also noticed the piercing holes on my ears.. they are probably almost closed up. I think that I should find some ear pin to wear so I won’t have to force the piercing in and bleed again. Yu looked at my ears and went back to search through the box again, before coming back with.. “Ta-Da!”

“…Wooow! I won’t wear that! Those are clearly for girls!!”

What Yu was holding is a thin silver hoop earring which is famous among the high school girls. While I start to move backward to get away, Yu immediately pushes himself up and forcibly puts the earring on my ears. “Ahhh! Ouch..” I carefully touch my ears, and it turns out that the piercing really is almost closed up.

“There you go! Hm.. I feel like you are still missing something.” The red hairstylist crossed his hand while looking at me from head to toes… What else? Do you want to add a braid also? I look at him distrustfully. Yu turned down to look into the box again, picking something up… “Where is it.. Found it!”

He exclaimed as if Christopher Columbus discovering a new land, in his hand is a hair tie with a pink rabbit.

“Ahhhhhh! Fu*k you, Yu! Stoppppp!” I continue to step back but hit with something. I turn around and meet the smiley face who even received a thanks from Yu. “Good job, Geerana! Now take this… This is the spirit of our race!”

Are you too carefree that you went out of your mind!? Do you want me to tell the boss to give you some more work? Sob… I completely give up and just let the big hand gather my hair in his hand. Yu even pass over a comb, which Ge gently uses to brush my hair.

I turn to look at Yu, but he is looking away from me… but his mouth shape tells very clearly that he is trying hard not to laugh. Tsk! Traitor!!

“I am done.” He said…. But can’t you not whisper in my ears again, please.. It’s ticklish!

“A-Ah, yeah. If you are happy now, then let’s go back to work.” I look at myself in the mirror which Yu placed in the position where he can use to see if the boss enters the office.. Hm, not bad. But it seems that my newly appointed hairstylist is too engrossed in playing with my hair rather than going back to work. Now I am really helpless on what to do. This is the first time in my life that I have someone who actively chases after me like this.

Ringgggg. My life-saving bell- cough, the office phone ring showing the name of “PR Department” which have gone back to work after the end of their break. Yu and I simultaneously turn to look at each other’s faces before saying, “Ge.”

Yeah, let’s just push the responsibilities to the intern…

“Hello, yes.. Alright, I’ll be there. Yeah… Bye.” Ge pickedup the phone while I relaxingly went back to the farming game on my Facebook. Once he hung up the phone, he immediately walked toward me. “Do you want to eat something? I’ll buy it for you.”

I pause.. looking at the person who is smiling widely and suddenly feel speechless. “….No, thanks.”

"

"

Ge just smiled and even lean down to whisper before leaving. “Please wait for me today. Don’t run away again.”

Having done that, he left, leaving me with the feeling of warmth on my cheeks. My eyes follow his retreating back… This guy is really thick-faced and chasing after someone with no restraint at all. I would imagine that if it’s not me but someone else, they might have punched his face long ago because he keeps crossing so many boundaries. However, I don’t feel any discomfort or irritation at all, maybe it’s because of his eyes, face, and voice that are too honest and sincere.. He really is similar to the type of second male lead in the series.

But there is also something about him that I still don’t quite understand…

While I was thinking about someone who has already left the room, someone else who just entered the room called my name.

“Mr. Phat.”

I jumped, almost didn’t close the game fast enough. “B- Boss.”

I turn to smile at the person who entered the room, my computer screen showing a word document file. This is the ultimate move of switching screens in a flash which everyone who works on a computer screen should practice. My friend once told me that a senior in his office even went as far as installing a program and customized his own hotkey that would automatically switch the screen with just one button… but don’t ask why once it comes to actual work they all protest that they couldn’t do it on time.

“Let’s go to hell.”

“Come again?” I ask in a high-pitch voice. I just secretly play some farming and pig-raising game in the office, do you have to ask me to go to hell for that? I turn to look at everyone else in the room, none of them look surprised.

‘Wow.. Do we have a new job, boss?” Yu frown. “To hell again?”

… Does this mean you have gone to hell before? I look at Yu who continued to grumble. “Is this the continuation of our previous job?”

Boss nod. What are you two talking about? Then, the conversation came back to me again. “..This time, I plan to have Mr.Phat who specializes in Software Analyst go to collect the data by himself.” I nod in agreement, however, what do you mean by going to hell, boss!?

"

"

“Now that we have mentioned that… Mr.Phat, do you have a passport yet?”

I nod again, before realizing something. “Wait a minute, boss. Would a Thai passport be applicable?”

“This requires a different one, however.” Boss answer with a blank expression

A passport to hell…?

In all my life, I have been out of Thailand twice only. The first time is to help my senior selling some products in Hong Kong during the Summer Holiday, while the second time is when I went on a trip to find some illegal film in the north part of Thailand and decide to use the chance to travel around outside the border too. In conclusion, I have a passport for sure, but a passport to hell…

It would be strange if I have one, Boss!

Footnotes:

[1] Kinnanorn is a male counterpart of Kinnaree, with a body of half human-half bird.

[2] The original text is “500 Thai Baht” which is equivalent to about 17$ US dollars

[3] Mu-Noi means “Little pig” in Thai (Mu = pig, Noi = small). Thai traditionalists to Baby boomers often have nicknames that are the name of an animal.

[4] A little boy(/girl) in Thai is called “Nu-noi,” which sounds pretty similar to Mu-noi.

[5] Tamagotchi is a handheld digital pet that was created in Japan. (This is actually the model for the discord’s “Tatsugotchi.”) If you don’t feed or play with them for some time, the pet tends to run away from home, and you could either wait or reset the game to get a new pet. (Yes, I definitely did play one when I was young.)

Translator’s note:

Sorry for the late update! My proofreader and I are both having our Final exam these couple of weeks. My exam doesn’t end until mid-December, but I’ll try to squeeze some chapters out in meantime!