Chapter 16

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Before the school opening, Miao Jingrong took Qu Fan to their family’s private hospital for a blood test and checked if he had the signs of pregnancy. Qu Fan was surprised at the results of the medical examination and slightly skeptical as he asked the handsome man, “You didn’t do anything right? How can it be so fast… and to think that I can get pregnant…” It annoyed Miao Jingrong so much that he was unable to endure venting out, he had an uncanny expression as he spoke in a cold hard tone, “I’ve checked your pulse the other day which I think was a good sign so I brought you here, what will I gain if I lied to you? When I rarely stayed for you?”

When Qu Fan heard his words, his heart trembled and the rim of his eyes turned red, he bit his teeth as he replied, “Yeah, you don’t know why all this time I stayed here for A’Wen? Why would you give me the gu to force me to stay? You and Miao Jingchun can marry Ms. Chen so why are you making things difficult for me and A’Wen?”

Miao Jingrong had never been accused like this in all his life, and he wanted to repeat what he said but when he saw his red eyes, he held his anger back then walked near to a window and stood as he tried to adjust his emotions.

Qu Fan was gasping for breath after he said these things just before he felt that it was inappropriate to say them, but it was because he still could not face the fact that he became pregnant.

The atmosphere between the two men turned cold and harsh, and the tension between them still had not eased by the time when the other Miao brother arrived, it was only when Qu Fan saw Miao Jingwen that the tears from his eyes immediately began to fall, Miao Jingwen felt an incessant heartache as he saw his aggrieved face that he hurriedly hugged him, and when Miao Jingrong it, the anger that he was originally suppressing down surged up once more which could not be appeased this time.

After all, pregnancy was a serious matter that Qu Fan still had not yet adapted, let alone to slowly accept the fact as it is. He stroked his belly sometimes while being amazed at the child’s miraculous presence in it.

It was unknown whether the child was of Miao Jingrong’s or Miao Jingwen’s because he became intimate with Miao Jingchun only during the previous wedding nights at the nuptial chamber in the rear yard.

Qu Fan’s mood and appetite during the first three months of pregnancy were not very stable, and he would vomit anything he ate, after a few more months, he lost a lot of weight that Miao Jingwen especially requested for himself to stay at home and accompany him till his health got better.

The Miao’s residence was too enormous, and Qu Fan did not go out much, he also had to have dinner alone so the feeling that he had not seen his two husbands for a long time weighed more heavily in his heart.

Although Qu Fan had no deep feelings for Miao Jingchun, it was opposite towards Miao Jingrong when compared to the past, after all, the two months he first spent in the Miao family were almost always with Miao Jingrong as well as the people he never dealt with again, and he could still get some different feelings every day.

Miao Jingwen read his thoughts and observed that Qu Fan was a lot different from his initially lively self who liked to smile, he roughly guessed that it was probably because of his relationship with his eldest brother, so before he went to work, he told him gently, “Fanfan, can you take the initiative to make peace with my eldest brother? Actually, he’s also a bit upset after he had a little quarrel with you, and I heard from A’Yuan that he has a bigger temper compared now so I don’t think that he’s that mad.”

Qu Fan drooped his head thinking of the grudges he still had in his heart and the things he said previously that ‘put his foot(1)’ upon Miao Jingrong who normally would not say those words. So after Miao Jingwen left, he decided to go to Miao Jingrong on his own initiative.

As he stayed at Miao Jingwen’s residence for a long time, he felt tired walking for too long and thought that the hallway seemed strange. He continued walking for a while till he reached the office of Miao Jingrong, then he heard the sound of a conversation inside as he got closer which was probably about business.

Qu Fan stopped walking and somewhat hesitant to change his time of visit, but when the door was opened, he saw A’Yuan come out holding a stack of folders who then saw him, his face gleamed with surprise, “Fanfan.”

His voice was so loud that the people inside seemed to hear it and stopped talking.

Qu Fan smiled awkwardly, and when A’Yuan seemed to realize that his voice was too loud, he calmed his joyous mood and approached him to ask, “Are you looking for the eldest young master?”

“He’s probably busy… I’ll just visit him next time…” When Qu Fan was about to leave, he heard Miao Jingrong’s voice from inside, “Come in.”

Qu Fan froze as he saw everyone that had been in the room discussing about the business came out, smiling and greeting him while he could only promptly smile at them as he felt embarrassed, and after everyone else disappeared that Qu Fan peeked from the sliding door, then hesitated before he slowly walked inside.

Miao Jingrong didn’t raise his head as he was looking at the documents, and Qu Fan felt that the sight of this man was too handsome from his vantage as if coming out from an ink wash painting(2) whose rare snowy skin seemingly glowed when exposed to light.

He stood for a while before Miao Jingrong closed the folder and looked up at him without any emotion in his eyes, and his lips were firmly pursed.

Qu Fan was apprehensive and gulped before whispering, “I… Am I bothering you?”

Miao Jingrong’s eyebrow furrowed and hummed “en” from his nose.

Treated with such indifference, Qu Fan was unable to endure it anymore so he dropped his head, “Then I’ll go now…” He was about to turned around and leave when he heard Miao Jingrong’s voice, “It’s all already disturbed, don’t you want to tell me something before you go?”

Qu Fan bit his lips and spoke in a weak voice, “Actually, it’s nothing…” he just wanted to make peace with him.

Miao Jingrong was poked again into anger by his attitude, and the delight that had just been evoked slowly crumbled away as he stood up to close the door before walking in front of Qu Fan.

The two men had a very large disparity in their height, and Miao Jingrong was wearing a changshan with long hair similar to the costume in historical ancient dramas. Qu Fan who was not used to his attire in the past found it very good-looking now.

Miao Jingrong casually glanced at him and it was only the clenched hands at his back that gave away his troubled mind, his eyes were fixed at Qu Fan’s belly which was still flat without any visible signs of a child inside.

Thinking of the child, his heart suddenly softened, and when he noticed the small circle in the thinned chin of Qu Fan, his tone also softened, “Are you not eating well lately? You’ve lost so much weight that your face lost its fats.”

Qu Fan began to ridicule himself because he did not expect this man to be so deeply concerned about him, and it touched his heart that the rim of his eyes reddened, he aggrieved in a little voice, “I couldn’t eat before but it became better in these two days.”

“It’s natural to have a morning sickness in pregnancy which is pretty common, you should try to get yourself to eat more, perhaps eating anything you want, I’ve already permitted A’Wen to take care of you but you’ve still lost this much weight.”

“He’s tending me well…” Qu Fan encouraged himself to lift his head to look at him, and when their eyes met, he saw the concern in it which prompt his eyes to be more reddened, and as he couldn’t bear it, he reached his arms out and hugged the man upon his waist, he sounded more aggrieved, “Just a short quarrel and you avoided me for so long, it’s too much.”

Miao Jingrong also hugged him back and apologized for the first time, “I’m sorry.” He too also wanted this person, and every time he passed the door of his room, he wanted to go in, but when he heard the voices inside, he hesitated and walked away.

As Miao Jingrong patted him on the back, he heard louder sobs from his arms that his heart entirely softened, “Sorry, Fanfan, I was so stubborn at the time, now even if the family law will be broken, it will not matter. Even when it was only A’Wen you only love among us, we insisted, and you were right about what you’ve said but I didn’t put the yin gu(3) on your body because it doesn’t exist in this world, I only lied to you. I’ll return everything and null this marriage, then you can be finally live together with A’Wen.”

In his long speech, Qu Fan was becoming more and more puzzled, and it took him a while before he realized, then he pushed Miao Jingrong and looked up in shock, “You don’t want…to be my husband anymore?”

Miao Jingrong found that his decision was being shaken, as in fact his heart extremely hated to do this that it was suffering from a blunt heartache, “Isn’t this what you and A’Wen wanted?”

“Are you going to marry Ms. Chen?”

Miao Jingrong felt somewhat helpless, “She’s already married to someone else and she won’t probably come into the Miao residence again.”

“Then are you going to marry someone else? Miao Jingrong, how can you do this? When have you already slept with me so many times? I also have a child in my belly, maybe it’s yours, you know…” Qu Fan totally didn’t expect that the thing he most yearned before would really happen, but he acted like he didn’t want it.

Miao Jingrong was puzzled, “Didn’t you want me to do this? That’s why we had a quarrel, and if it’s really my child, then I’m sorry, although you don’t seem to want him, I still hope you’ll give birth to him.”

This man who repeatedly apologized over and over again made Qu Fan slightly doubtful if he was someone else like he just had Miao Jingrong’s outward appearance but not actually him. Qu Fan watched his face but didn’t find any signs of disguise, then he pressed on even if it was difficult to speak, “So you… didn’t really love me at all that’s why you’re pushing me away.”

Miao Jingrong’s eyebrows even more furrowed as he replied, “Didn’t you also not love me even a bit? Isn’t the reason why you wanted to escape?”

The two men stared at each other in a daze until Qu Fan finally smiled after a moment. He hugged again the man’s waist and softly laughed, “We’re really a pair of fools. Miao Jingrong, sorry, I’ve said those words back in that day because I was angry and still shocked that I became pregnant, so that’s why I rambled, and you didn’t really want to talk to me back then so I didn’t show myself to you on purpose.”

Miao Jingrong stared blankly for a moment before he slowly understood what he meant, he was still light-headed, “Really?”

“Mhm, I’ve actually come to love you, although it’s still probably not enough compared to A’Wen, but I’m sure it’ll continue to grow years later.”

Miao Jingrong stared at him, then a smile emerged from his mouth and he reached out his hand to pinch his own nose, “I’m really such a fool.”

—

Footnotes:

(1) Put one’s foot in it (作了手腳); It is “to say something that causes someone to be embarrassed, upset, or hurt especially when the speaker did not expect that reaction (Merriam-Webster).”

(2) Ink wash painting; Originally emerged during the Tang dynasty in China but flourished during the Song’s period, it is basically a water paint but only using the ground ink as its paint material (China Artlover).

(3) Yin gu (淫蠱); Note that the yin in the passage means lewdness/wantonness, so when it was put together with the gu, it is implied that this is the one supposedly responsible for QF’s estrous (Pleco).

—

Translator’s Notes:

My tearsssssssss. I actually like the angst between them because it felt so real to me. For instance, in such a polyamorous relationship, where there might be a favorite among the partners, how would a certain person cope with that especially with a tad tsuntsun attitude?

My boi MJR is such a cinnamon roll and closet troll. I’m glad the author really deepened their relationship through this quarrel. Both of them are so cute, and in fact, they are the most innocent ship among them.

And by the way, belated Happy New Yearrrrrrrr!!! May we all have goodness, love, longevity, peace and prosperity this year!

(PS: Is there anybody here who has read ENNEAD? Because it’s so fking good! Both its art and story. UwUUUU. Seth needs a protection squaddddd, QAQQQQ, and I still hate Osiris up to this day.)

Re: I fixed a typo: Arvin to A’Wen. Thanks for pointing that out.

Enjoy.

Tl/editor: Seafall (Cf411)

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