Chapter 2

Chapter 2

First Love × First Love 2

“Fu… . A… . Aaah”

“Sakura… Open your legs more… Yes, like this is good”

Since I somehow began dating Senpai, a year and a half has passed .

The relationship continues without us breaking up .

Just as planned Senpai advanced into the graduate school, and I became the third-year student .

I commute from my home, but Senpai lives alone near the university .

Senpai and I are both indoor characters .

Naturally, Senpai’s apartment became our date location .

It’s not like I don’t feel like going out, but I like looking at Senpai’s profile as he reads a book, so I thought it’s a trivial matter not worth arguing about .

“Sakura, please concentrate”

“Ah… Ye… Yes… Nn”

Senpai’s thing is moving back and forth inside me .

I desperately endured raising a voice as he strongly bore inside me .

Senpai’s apartment has thin walls .

I couldn’t help but be bothered that the neighbors would hear me .

Right as we started going out, I was embraced in Senpai’s room, and since then as long as we had time, I’ve been embraced almost every day .

I don’t dislike being embraced by Senpai .

That’s why I don’t refuse, but each time I’ve been embraced within last year I’ve felt an indescribable feeling of loneliness in my chest .

“I’m coming soon”

I heard Senpai’s voice behind me .

Senpai who’s embracing me from behind quickened his in and out movements, and before long spat out his semen inside .

I felt the heat through the rubber . After a moment Senpai exited my inside .

“If you want to take a shower, go ahead”

“… Yes”

I’m naked . Senpai only loosened his lower half .

When he effortlessly wiped his lower half with a nearby tissue, Senpai tidied up his clothes .

Then he picked up the book he’d been reading some time ago and immediately continued reading .

He didn’t look here .

“…”

It’s the usual .

With a single sigh I slowly stood up and picked up my scattered clothes .

Then I went to the bathroom to take a shower .

Senpai is a scholarship student . He lost his parents when he was very young, and was raised by his uncle and his wife .

At the same time he entered university he left home and moved to this apartment .

I heard that story when we started going out .

I didn’t want to touch on it too much, so I didn’t deeply probe further .

Such Senpai lives in a 1DK apartment . The bath and toilet are more or less separate, not only is there a shower, it’s fully equipped with even a heated bath .

Although it’s a 20-year-old property, thanks to Senpai’s cleanliness, it doesn’t give off a squalid impression .

Taking the shower nozzle in my hand, I adjusted the temperature with experienced movement . There’s a little trick to the temperature control . The downside is, because it’s a fairly old shower, the water pressure is weak . While skillfully turning the nozzle, I wetted my whole body . Doing that, an indescribable feeling welled up .

Sex with Senpai is always like this .

Only I undress, Senpai just takes the necessary part from his pants .

In spite of being embraced this much, we’ve never had skin-to-skin contact during the act .

For some reason I recalled how we started dating .

… A year and a half ago I confessed to Senpai . Then for some reason Senpai accepted, and we ended up going out .

The fact that I started going out with Senpai who has a great number of secret fans was exposed to the surrounding relatively easily . I was seen by one of his fans when I entered Senpai’s apartment . At first a shock ran through the university, but ultimately it didn’t become something serious .

There was no harassment from fans like I’d been secretly worrying about, it was peaceful .

The reason is simple, there was nothing that’d incite their jealousy .

We don’t flirt on the campus, we only read side-by-side .

From the start Senpai’s territory was deep in the library . It’s a place nobody comes to, so that also should have saved me from jealousy .

Furthermore, in other places we act separately just like before .

We don’t eat lunch together and Senpai doesn’t expressly talk with me .

When such a situation continued, rather I started to often be shown sympathy .

“Can you really say you’re going out when you’re like that?”

The words said by a friend from the same department pierced my chest .

“You don’t go on dates outside, right? You aren’t together at the university either . You simply go to his home… Doesn’t he just consider you a convenient sexual partner?”

“Shion-senpai isn’t such a person…”

I weakly shook my head . While pecking at the lunch box I’d made as she pleased, she advised me with a serious face .

“Then it’s fine, but you too think about it a bit more . You don’t think things can stay this way, right?”

“Yup… I know”

I nodded to my friend’s words .

That’s right, I know .

Everything, if it’s about Shion-sepai .

Senpai likes book above everything, I know that actually he’d only rejected confessions because he hadn’t noticed them while reading books .

He doesn’t take me on dates outside because he can’t read books there .

If he stays home, he can keep reading books . Expressly going outside is unnecessary .

Senpai’s interest is always books . It’s not suited for the outside world .

I don’t know why such Senpai is going out with me .

I thought intently while taking the shower .

Before I noticed my tears overflowed . They flowed together with the hot water .

I don’t want to show my crying face to Senpai .

I knew .

Senpai doesn’t love me .

After all, we’ve been going out for a year and a half . He hasn’t told me he loves me even once .

Even kisses can be counted on my fingers .

Then why does he embrace me . Am I, nicely saying it, a tool to relieve him of sexual urges?

Is that why he doesn’t undress during the act and has no intention of embracing me with his naked body?

… My heart hurts .

I pretended not to notice .

I knew Shion-senpai’s heart isn’t mine, still I kept pretending to not notice, wanting to stay by his side .

And so, my heart screamed .

Unable to stand it, I cried aloud .

So that’s why my heart felt irritated each time I was embraced by Senpai .

It may be the right time―――― .

Senpai answered to my confession .

He became my boyfriend, and then embraced me .

For the past year and a half, he hasn’t cheated even once .

There has been no trace of other women . I don’t doubt that .

Only I’ve been at his side .

… That should have been enough .

I’ve come to want more .

That much has become not enough to satisfy me .

I want Shion-senpai’s heart .

I want him to look at me properly .

I’m already tired of spending day after day with Senpai while holding such feelings .

Because I know I can’t obtain it .

Senpai isn’t looking at me .

His world is only made up of books . There is no gap for me to enter .

Rather, I might have preferred if he found another woman he loves .

Even if he doesn’t look at me, because he’s at my side and once in a while speaks gentle words to me, I can’t quite make up my mind to leave him .

And like this a year and a half has passed .

… But, it’s hopeless now .

My tears endlessly flowed .

I’m at my limit .

I’m tired of being the only one who has feelings for him .

We’re dating . What’s wrong with wanting him to return my feelings .

I’m not strong enough to persevere alone .

Never mind saying he loves me, I wanted to experience affection .

If he conveyed love through his actions and gestures, I’d be satisfied with just that .

I’d be fine with being hugged and kissed .

I want to feel Senpai’s body temperature . What’s wrong with wishing for that .

If I received that, I could wait forever .

If he doesn’t love me, just how happy would I be if he harshly rejected me .

Senpai’s kindness is too painful .

I still love Shion-senpai, I want to be with him, but still I vaguely thought that this is the end .

After a year and a half I finally thought that, I laughed at myself .

I stopped the shower and wiped my body with the prepared bath towel .

I put on my clothes piece by piece, and applied makeup at a small wash basin .

―――― Don’t cry, me .

To not cry, I carefully drew lines around my eyes . I also applied mascara .

Now that I did it, I can’t cry .

My makeup would get messed up .

When I finished my makeup, more careful than usual for my own sake, I returned to the room with Senpai .

My heart is noisy .

It’s pounding . I know what I’m going to do from now on .

I understand it’s not something I can take back .

Still, I decided not to turn back .

“Shion-senpai”

“What’s the matter? Sakura”

When I called out to him upon returning to the room, Senpai raised his face from the book and looked at me .

It’s already past 19 o’clock . And today is Saturday .

I always stay overnight at weekends, so it’s rare for me to wear makeup out of bathroom .

And yet, noticing that I, who should have no makeup on, had applied a perfect makeup, Senpai knit his brows a little .

“Sakura”

“Shion-senpai, let’s break up”