CH 5.3

“I’m so shameful…”

Reirin was depressed.

Hugging her knees and looking down at the soil, she stared at a line of ants. As she watched them diligently bringing food to their nest, her heart ached at their vigorous work.

“You all are working hard…it must be a wonderful place to work. What compensation do you receive for your work? Food? A place to live? Or is it the feeling of doing something worthwhile?”

She was hurt by her own words. Reirin covered her face with her hands.

Even the insects crawling around the ground were paid for their labor.

“I’m not able to reward the hardworking Riirii for her work…”

Yes. Since before, Reirin had been suffering a blow to her heart when she pondered Riirii’s words.

Riirii was truly an excellent lady-in-waiting. It seemed that she had been holding a grudge against Shu Keigetsu for a long time, but she still didn’t give up her duties, moved to the storehouse when she was ordered to do so, and ate and slept with her mistress. Her bearing was quick, her tone was rough but she responded well, and above all, she had a straightforward heart. That last part was what Reirin particularly liked about her.

(It’s hard to find someone who can be so honest with me…)

Perhaps it was because Reirin had been sickly since childhood, but she had always been surrounded by people who were the embodiments of kindness and consideration. People who were full of love, who smiled at her or looked at her with concern. People like Tousetsu, who showed no expression, were somewhat rare.

But now she wasn’t so sure about that. After the night of the Skill Beseeching Festival, she was threatened by Shu Keigetsu. And then she got yelled at by Riirii. She was extremely surprised by these things she wasn’t used to, but at the same time, she thought,

I see, so such negative feelings also exist in the world.

She thought she was well aware of the fact that she was immersed in lukewarm water, but when she opened the window and took in the cutting cold wind, there was a rawness that far exceeded her expectations.

If a person was exposed to this continually, they would get hurt. They would collapse. However, just as people in the southern countries couldn’t help but reach their hands out to snow, Reirin also couldn’t help but pick up that sparkling manifestation of emotion and take a good look at it. The crystals of anger were sharp, pointed, and beautifully shaped.

Riirii, in particular, had been her companion from day to night for the past few days.

When Reirin saw her staring at her like she was shocked, squinting her eyes as though probing her, yelling at her with a bright red face, or taking the smaller chunk of fried potato, she felt like she was watching a small animal. When she saw her awkwardly weeding because she had nothing else to do, it made Reirin think that she really was a good girl.

After all, she had guts. The thought that she must have collected a lot of insects while screaming made her want to take her back to Kouki Palace and make her an upper-rank lady-in-waiting immediately.

And yet——as of now, Reirin couldn’t give anything to Riirii.

(If it were my personal belongings at Kouki Palace, I could have given her a hairpin or a comb, but in this situation, that isn’t possible…)

In exchange for guaranteed food and shelter, ladies-in-waiting received a tiny stipend during their term of employment, which was supplemented with rewards from their mistresses. Reirin, who was frequently on the verge of dying, actively gave things to her ladies-in-waiting with the sense that she was distributing her possessions while she was still alive. However, now that she was in the form of Shu Keigetsu, it was impossible for her to give any of Kouki Palace’s belongings to Riirii.

(But then, I can’t take the liberty of giving Lady Keigetsu’s belongings to Riirii either…)

That was what troubled her.

Even though her body had been switched for the other person’s convenience, Reirin’s sense of ethics wouldn’t allow her to touch Shu Keigetsu’s belongings.

Since she was exiled with only her body and nothing else, she had no wealth to give to others, but the only outer robe she had left—the fancy one Shu Keigetsu wore at the Skills Beseeching Festival―was a good quality item, and even her hair could be cut for some money.

(However, if something has been discarded because it is no longer useful, then for me to give away or cut up valuable things without permission…)

She wanted to reward Riirii, but she couldn’t. Reirin furrowed her brows and pushed back the tears.

“Ah, no…crying isn’t good for my immune system…”

Her resistance to her illness would drop. That was the only thing Reirin feared the most.

She shook her head and pulled her cheeks, encouraging herself.

“Yes, I shall let my voice ring out loud!”

She had been bending over the ground for so long that her calves were getting numb. Apparently, it had been a long time since this healthy body had done that.

The sun was already past its peak, and Reirin hurried back to the storehouse to prepare the afternoon meal.

It happened then.

Slash, slash.

She tilted her head as she heard small noises coming from inside the storehouse.

It sounded like a cat sharpening its claws. Or, like something was being torn apart.

Wondering what it was, Reirin peered into the storehouse, and then her face lit up.

“My, Riirii, you’ve returned. I was thinking about something, so I didn’t——”

She opened her mouth to express her joy, but then closed it mid-sentence.

Riirii, whose back was turned to her, was tearing up the outer robe hanging on the wall.

“…Riirii?”

——Slash, slash.

“What are you doing? That’s…”

The only fine clothing in this storehouse.

But before Reirin could finish, she stopped again.

Riirii had suddenly turned around.

“…It’s your fault.”

She couldn’t help but gasp at the sight of her.

Riirii’s clothes were soaking wet, and there was mud splattered on her white cheeks. Her hair was a mess, and her eyes were glittering as she scowled at her.

Her hand, gripping a dagger, and her voice were both trembling.

“You, you…You ruined my life…!”

“Riirii, please calm down. You’ll catch a cold like this. First, change your clothes, wash your hands, and take a deep breath——”

“Don’t mess with me!”

When she gently reached out her hand, she held up her dagger as though to wave it away.

“What about a cold?! My life is already worthless…! I can’t get it back!”

As soon as she said that, tears trickled down her face. It was obvious that she had lost her senses.

“Riirii, let’s calm down for a moment. Now, put down your knife and take off your dirty clothes——”

“Don’t touch me!”

Undeterred, Reirin stretched out her arms, and Riirii shouted even louder.

“Damn it! Damn it! I’m dirty from the start anyway! No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, I’ll always be called a ‘dancer’s daughter’!”

“No, Riirii——”

“Don’t look down on me!!”

With her eyes tightly closed, Riirii swung her dagger around wildly. Reirin quickly ducked, but the strand of hair next to her ear didn’t make it in time and fell to the dirt-covered floor.

(Aaah! Forgive me, Lady Keigetsu!)

Her body moved, but she forgot about the height difference between this body and her original body. She apologized to Keigetsu in her mind immediately for losing a part of her hair without asking.

(Oh, but there were a lot of split ends there…)

Reirin was a little relieved when she glanced at the lopped-off hair, but in the meantime, Riirii had raised her dagger up high.

“Damn it——!!”

The tip of the knife glinted in the sunlight that came through the hollowed-out window.

The moment Reirin looked up, saw the shadow of the blade, and widened her eyes——.

Snap.

There was a light sound, and suddenly Riirii’s arm stopped.

“What are you doing!”

At the same time, a sharp cry.

It was Shin’u.

He twisted the arm he had grabbed and made it drop the dagger, then restrained Riirii with the swiftness of an eagle, just as his title of “Eagle Official” implied. At the same time, Bunkou, who was behind him, kicked the dagger into a corner of the storehouse.

“Are you unhurt?”

“Head Eagle Official, Lord Bunkou…”

Reirin was openmouthed, receiving that sharp glance.

She couldn’t immediately grasp the situation as to why they were there.

(…There’s an honest and straightforward expression on her face.)

On other hand, Shin’u and Bunkou were carefully observing the person who was looking up at them with surprise.

The look in her lightly widened eyes was nothing but pure shock.

If this had been a performance to gain sympathy, her eyes would have been filled with delight at the appearance of spectators, but there was no sign of that.

It was also strange that she didn’t appear to be frightened at all, so Shin’u couldn’t grasp her true intentions.

(She doesn’t look like the calculating and evil woman His Highness described her as, but she doesn’t look helpless and pathetic either.)

While keeping the wary Bunkou in sight, Shin’u opened his mouth cautiously.

“I’ve received a report that a lady-in-waiting with a knife in her hand was heading for the outskirts of Shuku Palace, so I came to check on the situation. Blades are strictly forbidden in the inner palace, and those who violate the law will be severely punished. Now, I will question the two of you. What happened?”

He lowered his voice and looked down to see the lady-in-waiting already crumpling to the floor, trembling as she covered her face.

She seemed to have returned to her senses, but at the same time, she was struck by Shin’u’s intensity.

Although it was a paltry thing compared to the dragon energy of Gyoumei, which made women faint in ecstasy with a single glance and made men swoon with a single glare, Shin’u was still a person of royal blood. If he lowered his voice and narrowed his sharp eyes, even the most determined Nestling would flinch. Low-ranking ladies-in-waiting, who were unconnected to the imperial family, didn’t stand a chance.

Having given up on getting anything out of Riirii, Shin’u then turned to the woman who remained standing there.

Would she turn pale like the lady-in-waiting, or burst into tears and scream in her shrill voice about her plight?

Based on Shu Keigetsu’s words and actions until now, Shin’u had expected those two things, but she was actually different.

“What happened here?”

""

She gently put her hand on her cheek and tilted her head to the side.

Shin’u’s eyebrows rose slightly, feeling something off about that gesture, but her next words caused his eyes along with his brows to widen.

“Oh yes, I’ve had my split ends cut.”

“…What did you say?”

“So, I had my hair trimmed.”

The captured lady-in-waiting also raised her head in astonishment. Bunkou did the same. It was natural. In this situation, no one would have thought that Shu Keigetsu would say such a thing.

(Is she trying to cover for the lady-in-waiting?)

Shin’u’s mouth twisted. The woman’s behavior was too unexpected, and more than that, her excuse was too poor. He hated being lied to.

“You, known as a villainess, aren’t accustomed to covering for others, are you, Shu Keigetsu? Do you really think that excuse would work when the lady-in-waiting who was shouting curses and holding a dagger has now collapsed in teas?”

“I am not making excuses. It is the pure and simple truth.”

However, his opponent was unwavering.

She faced Shin’u straight on, without showing a hint of flirtation or fear.

“No matter what thoughts or intentions Riirii held, the only thing that actually happened was that my split ends were cut off. It would be a waste of energy to suspect or criticize every single thing that didn’t happen.”

Shin’u’s eyes widened involuntarily at her dignified appearance.

He could hear Bunkou gulping quietly behind him.

It was the same as back then at the Beast Interrogation Rite.

A strangely optimistic, calm―and dignified attitude.

(Who is this woman…?)

His chest was buzzing.

But before he could arrive at the answer to his question, the woman with Shu Keigetsu’s face smiled at him.

“So, my apologies, but may I be excused from your presence? As you can see, my lady-in-waiting is soaking wet. I would like to clean her up in a place without gentlemen.”

She said decisively. Shin’u and Bunkou were shocked again and looked at each other.

Shu Keigetsu, who hated being looked down upon more than anything else and tried every way she could to draw attention to herself.

She, who continuously sent flirtatious looks to any powerful person she saw.

Once again, she was trying to flatly get rid of Shin’u and Bunkou.

“…Does that mean you’re going to punish the lady-in-waiting yourself, out of our sight?”

“Good heavens, why would I punish the lady-in-waiting who trimmed my hair? But leaving that aside, head Eagle Official, could you please let go of Riirii? If you grab her wrist with such force, it will swell up.”

And she was even showing concern for the lady-in-waiting.

Shin’u awkwardly let go of the lady-in-waiting. “Can you stand?” the woman asked. The two looked on in amazement as the woman even extended her hand to the lady-in-waiting.

There was no cruelty in her kindly narrowed eyes. The gentle way she stroked the lady-in-waiting’s back was so natural that it didn’t seem as if she was holding back her anger for the sake of appearances.

“I am deeply honored that the head Eagle Official and Lord Bunkou have come to visit me in this place. Now, please forgive me for excusing myself from your presence.”

“Oi…”

The woman took a graceful bow, as though she was Kou Reirin.

They were so smoothly asked to leave that, amazingly, even Bunkou couldn’t help but say, “Um…”

“Isn’t there anything you want to say to us?”

“Something I want to say?”

Surely, in her situation, there would have been much to complain to the Eagle Officials, who enforced discipline in the Nestling Court.

For example, this storehouse was too miserable a place for a Nestling to live in, and there were too few ladies-in-waiting by her side. Moreover, even after the Beast Interrogation Rite, she was still subjected to strong hostility.

Any one of those things would do. If only she blamed them for her misfortune, Bunkou could have despised her as before. They could sneer at her and say she was finally in a wretched environment that was fitting of her foul personality.

But the woman didn’t scream shrilly or make flirtatious upward glances, but only tilted her head curiously.

No,

“Oh, yes.”

She giggled and told them this.

“I do feel that I have something to tell you, but I have more important things to do right now.”

Her smile was gentle and light, like a butterfly fluttering in midair.

She finally bowed to them again and broke off the conversation in front of the men, who couldn’t take their eyes off her.

“Now, if you will excuse me.”

When she did that, Shin’u and Bunkou had no choice but to leave.

It would be different if she was the perpetrator, but Shu Keigetsu was clearly the victim, and she was denying the lady-in-waiting’s guilt. The Eagle Officials didn’t have the authority to question her about it.

“I ask of you, don’t do anything strange.”

While thinking that it sounded like a parting threat, Shin’u and Bunkou left the storehouse.

“…”

The two men continued along the path in silence for a while until Shin’u muttered something.

“It certainly is strange.”

“I think so too.”

Bunkou immediately nodded in agreement when Shin’u said that while brushing aside the dense grass growing on either side of him.

“No matter how much they say it’s because she was put in jail, that change is still bizarre.”

“I think so too.”

“I’m sure His Highness would find this hard to believe. We must be very careful in our report.”

“I think so too.”

The normally cheeky Bunkou was replying in a quiet tone, perhaps having been drained of his malice from the previous scene.

When the grass finally thinned out and the gravel ground typical of Shuku Palace appeared, Shin’u spoke in a low voice.

“So, I think you should write the report.”

“I do not think so.”

The head Eagle Official and subordinate who easily turned him down continued walking for a while, but when they passed through the gate of Shuku Palace, they parted ways without saying a word to each other.

(Thank goodness…they retreated without complaints.)

Meanwhile, Reirin was watching the backs of Shin’u and Bunkou going further and further away, patting her chest in relief.

If it had been Gyoumei who came to this place, he would have questioned Reirin and Riirii with his intensity and personality that didn’t allow for deception, but she was truly glad that the ones who came were Shin’u and Bunkou with their strange gentleness.

——Reirin had no idea that the Eagle Officials spoke weakly because they were shaken by her own behavior.

(I probably should have told them about the switch, but…Riirii is more important right now!)

Reirin switched gears and quickly turned towards the girl.

“Now, Riirii. Take off your dirty clothes. And then, turn your back to me.”

Riirii looked back at her with a frightened look on her face, and then finally began to take off her outer tunic with a dispirited expression. Now only in her undergarments and skirt, she turned her back to Reirin and knelt on the floor as she was told to do.

“…Am I going to be flogged?”

“Tsk, what are you talking about? And what happened to your usual cheerful tone?”

“But…”

Her hands, clasped together in front of her chest, were trembling slightly.

“I tried to…kill you.”

Reirin stopped her busily moving arms for a moment and laughed a little.

“——You are truly a kind person, Riirii.”

Then, she draped a robe gently over Riirii’s curled back.

It was a dark, scarlet robe.

“…!?”

“It’ll fit you perfectly if you take it in around the shoulders. Fufu, I’m so glad that the lining wasn’t damaged.”

It was the robe Riiri had cut up, turned inside out. The reverse side of the robe, which had been embroidered with gold and silver threads, was a plain scarlet cloth.

Feeling the sudden sensation of a warm cloth wrapped around her shoulders, Riirii turned around in shock.

Reirin grinned and accepted it.

“If you wear it as it is, it will feel stiff on the inside, won’t it? I will remove all the colored thread embroidery and mend the tears neatly, so don’t worry. I may not seem like it, but I do remember how to sew.”

“What are you…”

“What do you mean? Of course I’m talking about the robe I’m giving to you.”

When Riirii muttered blankly, Reirin replied happily while adjusting the robe.

(I was hesitant about giving away Lady Keigetsu’s belongings without permission, but since it is so tattered and torn, I’m sure she’ll forgive me.)

Reirin was happy to finally have something to give to this hard-working lady-in-waiting.

“Fortunately, it is a scarlet robe. The pale vermillion is lovely as well, but I do believe that scarlet will suit your vigorous and hardworking self well.”

Scarlet was even darker than pale vermillion and red lead. It was the color worn by the senior ladies-in-waiting of the Shu clan.

“But that’s…me wearing scarlet…”

“What is the matter with that? You are the lady-in-waiting who serves me more than anyone else.”

Reirin’s gentle voice silenced the confused Riirii.

“I’ll give you the colored threads I remove later. It would substitute for money a little bit, would it not?”

“Why…”

“You are my precious lady-in-waiting. I’m glad to have something I can give you.”

When the other woman was stunned into silence, Reirin went to the water pot to wet a washcloth and carefully wiped Riirii’s hands with it.

“Okay, Riirii? Wash your hands, dress in clean clothes, and smile. That is the secret of good health. You must maintain those things no matter what, since you are my lady-in-waiting.”

“Why…I pointed a blade at you to cut you up…”

“You only cut a few of my hairs with a blade, didn’t you? If you have the energy to blame yourself for something that didn’t even happen, you are better off using it for something else.”

Reirin dismissed her mumbling rebuttal with a firm assertion.

Riirii looked at Reirin as though she was looking at something unbelievable, and then finally, fearfully, she touched the scarlet robe.

“…”

""

The girl hung her head. When Reirin perceived that her shoulders were beginning to tremble, she smiled wryly and clasped the girl’s cheeks between her hands. She mischievously lifted her face up.

“Ah!”

“You are doing your body a disservice if you curl your back like that. Now, Riirii, lift your head. Spread your chest, inhale deeply, and look forward. If you keep hanging your head and harming your health, your honored mother will scold you.”

“Mother…?”

The sudden appearance of the word mother caused Riirii to blink in confusion.

“Yes. Your mother was a dancing girl from another country, wasn’t she? Even a military officer cannot fight without a sword, yet she was able to stand and live in a foreign land with only her own body. I am sure that she must have trained diligently every day. Since you are her daughter, you must live in order to make her proud.”

Reirin, who loved to train and had a sports-oriented mindset, sincerely believed what she told her, but at that moment, Riirii burst into tears as though a dam had broken and began to sob convulsively. Reirin let go of her in surprise.

“Riirii?”

“……”

Riirii’s tears didn’t stop.

(Why… Why is she…saying this…)

In between the tears that streamed down her face, her mother’s voice flitted through her mind.

——Listen to me, Lily. My adorable girl. Remember, a woman must always hold her head high with pride.

Her mother spoke her name with an exotic lilt. She wasn’t good at the Ei language, so Riirii had to learn the language from her friends in town, but she loved her mother’s foreign language that tickled her ear softly.

——Keep you body steady and your gaze straight. If you don’t have a strong core, you won’t be able to dance like a butterfly.

Her mother was good at dances where she nimbly twirled around like a butterfly fluttering in the air.

The figure of her supple body, staring ahead with dignity, somehow overlapped with the woman who was now looking anxiously at her.

“…I’m sor…”

Before she knew it, the words came out of her mouth.

“I-I’m sorry for…being rude, harassing you…chopping up your clothes…cutting your hair…I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay, Riirii. I told you, I don’t mind at all.”

Riirii’s tears spilled more and more at the arms that gently embraced her.

She was supposed to be a sly woman who had been taunting Riirii for a long time.

And yet, it was strangely easy to understand that the words she was now releasing came from the depths of her heart.

Yes, Riirii could tell.

She could tell that she was truly concerned about her from the bottom of her heart.

“Rather…I should be the one apologizing for taking so long to realize that you were driven to the wall.”

There was no hint of falsehood in her apologetic words.

Riirii thought absentmindedly as she let out the remnants of her sobs.

(She’s changed…this person has really changed completely.)

It wasn’t an act, nor was it an over-the-top repentance.

She had completely transformed into a good person, as if her whole soul had been reborn.

Was it because she was thrown into a horrific prison and became insane, or was it because her evil soul was purified in the Beast Interrogation Rite? She didn’t know the cause, but she was certain of one thing.

She wanted to be with this new Shu Keigetsu.

(I’ll return the hairpin and rice to Lady Gayou…)

She was sure that Gayou would turn her in to the Eagle Officials. But if that was the case, there was nothing she could do about it.

(Because I can no longer…betray this person or make her despair.)

With eyes that were becoming swollen, Riirii stared vacantly at the other woman.

She should have had a nasty look on her face with her eyes upturned at the corners. Yet somehow, the ugliness had disappeared from the person in front of her, and she felt only the freshness of an early summer breeze.

Composed, gentle, and generous. A new Shu Keigetsu.

(This person is always smiling gently…)

She thought, but her thoughts were interrupted by Reirin, who stood up.

“I’m glad that we seemed to have reached a mutual understanding. If your tears have subsided, let’s finally get to the main issue at hand, Riirii.”

“…Main issue?”

Riirii tilted her head at the strange words.

She thought that the current series of events had taken care of the main issue, but was there something more?

As Riirii looked up at her blankly, the other woman put her hands on her hips and said, “Why, what do you think I ordered Lord Shin’u and Lord Bunkou to leave for?”

“Riirii. I take washing hands, cleanliness, and smiling very seriously for the sake of maintaining my health.”

“O-Okay?”

“And yet.”

The smile of the woman with Shu Keigetsu’s face deepened.

“Someone has dirtied your hands, cheeks, and clothes with mud.”

Her hands seemed quite forceful as she wrung the soiled cloth tightly.

“Someone has stolen your smile and driven you to the point of physical and mental agitation where you say, ‘It’s over.’”

She slowly bent down and brought her face close to her. Riirii broke out into an inexplicable cold sweat.

“U-Um…”

“Please tell me, Riirii. Who is the one who tried to ruin the health of my precious lady-in-waiting?”

There was an unmistakable color of anger in her voice.

While feeling a chill run down her spine, Riirii corrected her earlier impression.

The new Shu Keigetsu was indeed someone who loved life and smiled like a warm wind.

(Come to think of it, when she’s confronted with an aphid on a stem, she would have such a scary smile on her face…)

She’s also a pretty scary person, she thought.

Honestly thinking about putting this novel on hiatus or dropping it…I like this novel but it’s more something I’d rather read on my own time than translate…