Chapter 10

Overcoming Weaknesses

The barrage of questions directed at me only stopped once the chicken arrived.

As Green said, the seasoning was perfect, making my mouth water.

Despite being thoroughly marinated, the coating was not at all soggy.

Inside the thin coating, the juicy meat was sealed, seeping out with each bite to moisten my tongue.

I should add this place to my list of favorite restaurants.

Green, who was known for his big appetite, had a large basket in front of him and was devouring the chicken inside.

It seemed to be a separate portion just for him, a sign of his regular customer status.

I watched as the bones came out clean after being eaten, and asked Seohun instead of Green, who was busy eating.

"Seohun, can I ask how you ended up going around together with such a combination?"

"We practice the longest, so our quitting times are similar. We naturally became close while having late-night snacks together."

"Once I finish the basic course, I'll practice with you guys."

"Lonely genius Yiwon, you only need to follow me, a senior with five years of training!"

I learned that Parkha, the youngest by age, was a fifth-year trainee.

SEED, the first boy group from Hanul Entertainment, debuted four years ago. At that time, Parkha and Parkhajoon were 13, which was quite young for a debut.

To have set a goal and worked hard from such a young age was impressive.

Debuting was still a distant dream, but with such members, it seemed like it would be okay to be together.

* * *

With the excessive praise from the trainers, I was able to complete the basic course.

The advanced course included not only dance and vocal training but also foreign languages, instruments, songwriting, and acting.

Dance, vocals, and rap were mandatory, while the rest could be added or removed based on the trainee's choice.

After that, a schedule would be made through consultation, and we would follow it for practice.

I had no problem with English conversation, skipped the instrument part, and decided to put acting on hold.

I was interested in the songwriting course, but the priority was to improve my vocals and dance to a certain level.

I was confident in my vocals, as I received praise that only minor adjustments were needed to make them perfect.

My top priority was dance.

My savior was right beside me. Green, who majored in modern dance, was proficient in almost all types of dance. And Parkha specialized in street dance.

They were the teachers prepared for me. During free practice time, I consistently sought out Green and Parkha.

"Yiwon, you have natural flexibility, rhythm, and balance. Your motor intelligence is high, so you can adjust your body parts according to my instructions. Generally, those with high motor intelligence can easily express emotions through physical movements, but you are weak in this area. Maybe because you haven't tried it before? You've been expressing yourself through instruments, right? Let's try different methods to find out how to efficiently convey emotions."

This was Green's opinion.

"Yiwon, you seem to have an excellent memory for physical movements. Even though you've only learned the basic moves, you can perform them precisely. You can reproduce the exact angles and speeds you learned, over and over. Once you learn something, your body remembers and can reproduce it. However, you lack experience, so you can't apply it well. You just need to practice more."

This was Parkha's opinion.

In the end, it all boiled down to a lack of experience.

I had no choice but to practice dance like a madman with the help of those around me. I quit PT and decided to work later hours at the company.

After five days of intense training, I felt the lack of stamina acutely.

My biggest weakness was indeed stamina. My daily routine was on the verge of collapse.

Could I not manage both dance practice and school life?

I dozed off for the first time during a class. I barely ate lunch, and the desire for sleep dominated my brain. I couldn't focus on my violin practice either.

Was it too much for my stamina?

I wanted to invest a lot of time in practice since I started late, but my body couldn't keep up. I understood why trainees dropped out.

However, I couldn't drop out of school. It would be foolish to eliminate my fallback in a situation where the future is uncertain.

Rash actions without considering all possibilities can lead to regret. I always needed to prepare for the worst to handle unexpected situations.

If I were in a debut group or had already debuted, I might have skipped school.

Hanul Entertainment recommended finishing regular school classes and practicing afterward.

And our school, which wasn't a performing arts high school, only recognized attendance for those in debut groups, according to Green.

Was there a way out?

Was it greed to want to do everything perfectly? Or was I just too impatient from the start?

I couldn't gauge when I would debut, so was I conserving energy too early in the race?

Or was my body just not adapted yet?

When I asked a senior trainee about stamina management, the answers varied.

Green, who didn't plan to go to college, focused only on practical skills and ignored everything else.

He attended school to graduate, slept during theory classes to conserve energy, and skipped the rest.

It was extreme. I couldn't do that.

Ji-on, who attended a regular high school, said he used class time efficiently.

He found studying boring but hated losing. Adequate sleep for stamina recovery was key to making the most of the rest of his time.

I learned later that Ji-on was a fast learner and in his third year. We decided to just be friends.

Seohun said he had never felt a lack of stamina.

"..."

His apology for not being helpful made me feel even more deceived.

Parkha, with years of training, said I needed to find my limits and only use my energy up to that point.

He shared his experience of overexerting himself and gave practical advice.

Combining the best parts of the advice, I concluded: "Decide where to focus your stamina, ensure adequate sleep, recognize your limits, and use your energy to the maximum."

It's not like making a delicious meal by using fresh ingredients, cooking for the right amount of time, and seasoning it well.

I needed to make some sacrifices to secure more practice time.

First, I decided to reduce my violin practice time. I didn't plan to become a violinist.

If that wasn't enough, I would use afternoon classes for sleep.

Could I focus intensely in the morning?

Reducing violin practice time made me feel more satisfied. I decided to try it and get feedback.

After a week of the new schedule, I wasn't as anxious about not playing the violin as I expected.

Maybe it was because I could express myself with my real voice.

When I felt rusty, I would eat lunch quickly and practice the violin briefly.

It wasn't entirely satisfying, but the results were visible, and it felt rewarding. I gained confidence that my choices were right.

It had been a month since I became a trainee.

I didn't know it would be this hard, as Hyun-oh had only briefly mentioned the life of an idol trainee.

Maybe he had skipped the difficult parts.

Time flew by in the blink of an eye. I must have spent it intensely, forgetting the flow of the day.

It was the first monthly evaluation day at Hanul Entertainment.

I heard that I would start participating in the monthly evaluations next month, as I needed time to adapt and complete the basic training.

Even though I wasn't being evaluated, I was told to observe the other trainees, as it would be helpful.

The trainees were gathered in the largest conference room, and the team leaders and the CEO participated as evaluators.

The female trainees were evaluated first and left the conference room, some looking dejected or wiping away tears. Some were comforting their friends, unsure of what to do.

Ah, on evaluation day, you have to be prepared to be brutally criticized.

If I joined, I would be torn apart in an instant. I was lucky to have a month's grace period.

The male trainees gathered and sat in chairs lined up against the wall.

CEO Son Jung-gi stood up and took the microphone.

"Even though this is a monthly evaluation, treat it as if it's your last stage and do your best. The focus will still be on how much you have 'grown.' No matter how small, there must be some improvement. If you've improved on the points criticized last time or shown new charm, that would be great. I'll stop nagging here. Relax and let's start."

The CEO sat down, and the team leaders from other departments looked like hawks.

Trainees were called randomly. Some were those I often greeted, and others I had only seen a few times.

The called trainees went to the center and showed their efforts.

First, they performed group dances, followed by individual evaluations. They showed two of singing, rap, or dance, and some added personal skills or acted out a scene from a movie.

Many were harshly criticized by the trainers and the new talent development team leader.

"You still have bad habits in your vocalization. How many times have you been criticized? What have you been doing? Were you busy making that personal skill?"

"Your pitch and rhythm were off. Was your condition bad? Don't make excuses."

"Have you been attending practice recently? I haven't seen you much. Do you want to debut? Have you lost your passion? If so, why don't you quit?"

Some received praise.

"Your vocal training has paid off. Your skills have improved. Your dynamic control is better, which will help with rapping. Have you thought about trying singing-rapping?"

Seohun's evaluation was positive. He had been practicing vocals while I was practicing dance and achieved good results.

He had also confided in me about his struggles with singing.

I was weak in theoretical aspects but answered sincerely, recalling Hyun-oh's vocalization therapy class.

Even if I didn't help much, I was relieved that I didn't give wrong advice.

"Trainee Kim Ji-on has been with us for a little over a year. It seems like your skills are finally on track. Your rap was groovy as always, and there were no major flaws in your dancing. I'm sorry for criticizing your singing and dancing every time. You must have suffered a lot."

Ji-on, whose eyes were tearing up from the unexpected praise, covered them with his arm.

He lived alone, away from his parents.

How hard must it have been to continue practicing silently in a home where no one supported him?

The driving force that helped him endure that time was his passion for his dream and his self-confidence.

"Trainee Parkhajoon, you were in a plateau for a while. It's natural to experience a plateau in a long training period. But you overcame it wisely. I want to praise you, even though I don't know what the turning point was. Not everyone can overcome it."

"Wow. Trainee Namchulok. Today, your emotions really came through! Your dance was already unique, but it felt like you shed a layer. What changed your mindset?"

Green smiled at me and mouthed 'thank you.' What was he thankful for?

Most of the trainees who received positive evaluations were those I often saw practicing late into the night.

The saying 'effort never betrays' came to mind.

Among them, Green, Parkha, Ji-on, and Seohun were acknowledged for their dedication to the practice room.

Just as the trainees were about to return to their seats after their evaluations, the CEO spoke.

"I heard there are trainees who didn't participate in this evaluation."

I flinched. My body instinctively shrank when my situation was mentioned. Why bring up my case...?

"Yes, he's a new trainee who is still adapting. He will start being evaluated next month."

The neatly dressed middle-aged man who answered the CEO was someone I hadn't seen before. Green whispered that he was the planning director.

"I heard, but can we treat it as an introduction and see his skills once?"

"CEO, why don't you ask him directly?"

"Trainee Ham Yiwon. You might not be prepared, but I'll take that into account. Can you show us your singing and dancing here?"

Ah, I can't say no here, can I?