Chapter 23

Unbeknownst to me, there were both kindness and malice.

The day after the debut group party at home, I went to the faculty office before the first class started. Since I had been chosen for the debut group, I needed to seek the school's understanding. The busy schedule for debut preparations was difficult to balance with school life. Moreover, the preparation period was so short that it seemed impossible.

It didn't matter for Park Ha and Oh Ran, who didn't go to school, but Ji-on said she would submit a withdrawal form if she couldn't find a way. Seohoon, who was in college, said he would take a leave of absence starting next semester since this semester was almost over.

Since Cheol-geun is in the same situation as me, he might be in the third-year faculty office.

I went to the homeroom teacher's desk and bowed. The teacher, surprised, returned my greeting with a puzzled look, probably because I had never come to the faculty office on my own before.

He was a young male teacher in his early 30s, and he had a strong intellectual image, perhaps because he wore glasses.

"Teacher."

The teacher's eyes widened, and his upper body leaned back, causing the chair to creak. He seemed to have been startled and fell backward.

Ah, this is the first time you're hearing my voice.

"Yi-won, can you speak...?"

Even after regaining my voice, I hardly spoke at school out of habit, and lately, I had been too busy sleeping when I came to school. That's why the teacher had never heard my voice.

"I heard there was a problem with your vocal cords. It seems to have improved... That's good."

The homeroom teacher knew my situation. It was strange that I didn't cause any problems in class, given that I didn't speak. I think the homeroom teacher had subtly asked other teachers to be considerate of me.

I was too indifferent. I really didn't care about my surroundings at all.

"Teacher, I've been living as a trainee for a while, and I've been chosen for the debut group. So, about attendance..."

"Trainee? An idol trainee?"

It was understandable that the teacher was surprised to hear about an idol. Being an idol was not a typical career path for a violin major.

"I'm in the same company as senior Nam Cheol-geun from the third year. I've been a trainee for about three months."

"Nam Cheol-geun from the dance department? Yi-won, how did you end up as an idol trainee?"

If I were to talk about the reason I wanted to become an idol, I couldn't leave out the story of Hyun-oh. However, it was difficult to bring up the story of Hyun-oh without mental preparation. It was a precious memory to me, but also a sharp blade.

"Teacher, I thought Yi-won would become a jazz violinist."

I understood how the conclusion of becoming a jazz violinist was drawn. However, I had never thought of becoming a violinist. Playing the violin and other instruments was just something I did out of habit, instead of speaking.

If I hadn't had the dream of becoming an idol, I might have followed the teacher's advice and become a violinist. But even if I had, it wouldn't have been because I wanted to, but rather because I had reluctantly compromised with the situation.

"Have you talked to your parents?"

"Yes."

"I'll ask other teachers and let you know how to proceed. This is my first time dealing with an idol trainee."

"Thank you, teacher."

"What did I do? Anyway, I'm glad to hear Yi-won's voice. It's beautiful."

Cheol-geun had warned me that if I got a strict teacher, there might be a fight. So I came prepared, but our homeroom teacher was very kind. I felt a bit guilty for not knowing this sooner.

I was living with kindness in places and times I didn't know about.

* * *

The company was in chaos.

Trainees who didn't make the debut group had to decide their future. Hanul Entertainment didn't try to keep desperate trainees for years by dangling the promise of debut.

Hanul Entertainment was known for being selective in choosing trainees. As a result, most trainees were older, having come from other agencies.

Therefore, even if they didn't make the debut group, Hanul Entertainment would send them to other agencies through amicable agreements.

They gave trainees the choice to quit and would reach a reasonable agreement if they wanted to. Of course, some trainees chose to stay after experiencing Hanul Entertainment and knowing the atrocities that happened in other agencies, believing they had a strength worth waiting for.

As I opened the door to the practice room, someone blocked my way. It was Goo Dae-myeong. He had a backpack on one shoulder, indicating he was leaving. It seems he was leaving.

"Ham Yi-won, it would have been fine without you."

"...What?"

The voice that reached my ears was desolate. Does he have a grudge against me? When the debut group was announced, Goo Dae-myeong glared at me. I don't know why, but he hated me.

"This isn't over. Got it?"

Goo Dae-myeong gritted his teeth and glared at me. Then he pushed my shoulder hard and walked past.

I couldn't understand what he was saying. I tilted my head and entered the practice room. Park Ha was waiting, preparing to practice.

"Park Ha, do you know why Goo Dae-myeong hates me?"

"Huh? Goo Dae-myeong? I'm not really close to him. But he hates you?"

She seemed to know nothing. Except for a few times we practiced together, I had no connection with Goo Dae-myeong. We never had a personal conversation or ate together. I couldn't guess where he had developed a grudge against me.

I probably won't know in the future. I decided to ignore it and not waste my time.

I packed my things in the practice room and decided to move to the external practice room assigned to the debut group. It seemed that the schedules were different from those of regular trainees and that it would create a sense of disharmony.

"Yi-won, did you check the dorm? I didn't expect much since it's not a large agency, but it's better than I thought!"

"Not yet. I decided to move my things later today. How is it?"

"Four rooms, two bathrooms! The company really went all out!"

I felt relieved that there wouldn't be much inconvenience in living there, though I needed to see it for myself.

"We should decide the rooms tonight when everyone gathers! If I'm lucky, I might get my own room!"

Park Ha wiggled her hips excitedly. With her beautiful appearance, she was overreacting. I observed her closely.

Her eyes were puffy and a bit red. She seemed to have been jumping with joy when the debut group was announced, but she probably cried a lot at home. She might be the type who pretends to be bright on the outside... I thought.

The practice room assigned to us was close to the company, about a 5-minute walk. I heard it was close because we still needed to take vocal and dance lessons frequently.

The practice room building was a common sight. It looked a bit shabby, as it had been built a while ago.

The practice room was semi-circular but clean and spacious. The bright lighting and the large mirror on one wall made it seem even bigger.

"Our practice room. Wow!"

Park Ha ran around the room, excited about having a practice room. I couldn't match her energy, so I just put down my things and waited for the other members.

Oh Ran entered the practice room first, followed by the other members. Then, the manager who would be in charge of us came in.

Ah, that military-like manager...

"You saw me yesterday. I'm Choi Jun-hyun, your manager. I'll speak informally, so I hope you understand. You can also use informal language. Since everyone is here, I'll start with the announcements."

We stood in a line and listened to the manager's announcements.

"Try to move your things to the dorm by today. Starting tomorrow, I'll pick you up from the dorm and bring you to the practice room. The debut group is almost finalized with these members. However, if you act in a way that doesn't fit a potential idol, you can be cut at any time. No dating, right? I'll emphasize again that dating is absolutely forbidden."

Dating? For me, who didn't even have a friend, let alone a girlfriend, it was a distant dream. The other members didn't seem to have any issues either.

Well, if they managed to date with such a tight schedule, they would be admirable. There's no time to sleep...

"You won't be able to, anyway. I'll confiscate your phones tomorrow. You'll get a shared phone to contact your family, but you can only use it when necessary. Nam Cheol-geun will be in charge of this."

"...Has the company already decided to make me the leader?"

"...Ha ha."

"Your laughter suggests it's true. Do I have to be the leader? If anyone opposes, speak up quickly. Don't hesitate."

No one opposed and just laughed. Cheol-geun seemed to feel the burden of being the leader but couldn't deny that he was the best choice.

In the end, Cheol-geun was unanimously chosen as the leader.

"Guys, many things will happen simultaneously without a clear order. It will be chaotic, but you need to participate actively. As you know, our company's strength and weakness is that we respect the artists' opinions. We don't believe we can achieve good results by forcing our will on you if you don't want it."

Becoming a successful idol is a matter of probability. To increase that probability, everyone involved in this fight needs to have a firm goal. Everyone needs to put all their effort into that goal.

"We believe that if you participate in the decision-making process, you will accept the results and express them as your own. It will be tough, but in return, you will feel more achievement and pride. Be prepared for that."

"Understood!"

Our loud response seemed to satisfy the manager, who had a strong presence, and he chuckled. It was a pleasant laugh, but it felt a bit scary.

"I believe you will do well. As a first mission, think about what concept suits you. It would be good to think about a group name and stage names as well. There's a meeting in four days, and you will attend. Prepare to share your opinions."

Some companies decide the debut members after determining the concept and desired image. In contrast, it seemed that Hanul Entertainment matched the concept to the people.

"Wow!"

It felt like the debut was right around the corner. It was becoming real.

"Few things are decided at once, and there will be endless meetings. But understand that it's also for your benefit."

Formally, debut group trainees could be involved in meetings. But would the company usually listen to their opinions? It seemed unlikely.

We are not experts, and a lot of money is involved in decisions.

"Also, you need to continue improving your singing, rapping, and dancing skills. This week is a transition, but starting next week, there will be weekly evaluations. If your skills are too poor, we might reconsider the debut group. Stay alert."

The manager smiled lightly while warning us to stay alert. He seemed to think we wouldn't be cut from the debut group.

"I'll be back later, so practice in the meantime."

"Understood!"

We answered loudly and with one heart.