Chapter 44

Fighting!

After checking the rankings on the music platform, we dispersed to our respective rooms. My body ached from fatigue and muscle soreness, but strangely, I couldn't fall asleep and tossed and turned.

Lying in bed with only the sound of shallow breathing, I closed my eyes, and Hyun-oh hyung came to mind as usual.

If it weren't for meeting Hyun-oh hyung, I would have lived a life without voice, a life devoid of flavor.

If Hyun-oh hyung were here, what would he say about me becoming an idol today? Would he be proud of me? Perhaps he would encourage me, telling me I'm doing well as I strive to achieve my dream of becoming an idol.

When I stood on stage and sang with Hyun-oh hyung's voice and my song, chills ran down my spine. It felt like he was enjoying it with me. I even had the whimsical thought that maybe my voice was a piece of his soul.

The greater the joy of performing on stage, the greater the emptiness I felt after coming down from it.

‘If I could meet Hyun-oh hyung in person, I wouldn't feel this emptiness…’

Now, Hyun-oh hyung is a beautiful memory. It wasn't scary to bring out the precious memories I cherished.

But sometimes, the heart-wrenching longing hits me, and there's nothing I can do but endure it.

Will there ever be a day when I'm numb to this longing?

I had to get up early for the next day's schedule, but my heart kept fluttering. I tried to force myself to sleep, but my chest felt cold, and I had to rub it for a long time before I could finally fall asleep.

* * *

No one could get up until the manager hyung came to wake us up. Not just me, who couldn't sleep and tossed and turned, but even O-ran and Chorok hyung, who usually wake up easily, couldn't resist the fatigue.

Physically, yesterday's schedule wasn't extremely tiring, but the mental fatigue from being tense and adapting to new surroundings was significant.

When the members woke up to the manager hyung's urging, they pointed at each other's faces and giggled. Everyone was so swollen, they looked like carp.

“I didn’t eat ramen and go to bed, and yet I feel wronged!”

Bakha placed a cold spoon on her eyes and grumbled. Maybe it was because she cried yesterday?

I checked my face in the mirror, and while I was a bit swollen, it wasn't too noticeable. Since I don't usually get swollen, it would probably go away soon.

In the morning, we made a fuss about reducing the swelling and then went to the agency building with the manager hyung.

Not only the Theo staff but also the employees we passed by congratulated us on our debut performance.

I was surprised that the company's entertainers were interested in our music performance. We bowed deeply, not knowing what to do, and thanked them.

It was important that our song was in the Top 100 chart, even if it was third from the bottom. People would hear our song at the end of their playlists.

With consecutive music show schedules, we could improve our rankings. Even though the ratings for music shows are low, they are based on the total number of viewers in South Korea, which is an honor for us. Not everyone can appear on music shows.

Our first music show stage was KBC Music Peak.

It was a live program, and as it was our first music show, we had to be extra careful. The order was rehearsal, pre-recording, and then live broadcast.

They said that only major newcomers could do pre-recording, but it was included in our schedule.

It seemed that Hanul Entertainment and KBC had a good relationship. KBC was the first channel to air our TV commercial, and our first music show was also on KBC, where we could do pre-recording.

“Hello, seniors! We are the new idol group Theo. Please take care of us!”

We visited the seniors' waiting rooms, gave them signed albums, and greeted them. I listen to a lot of idol music, so I can recognize songs from just the beginning, but I don't know which groups they belong to or who is in those groups.

So, I studied hard before coming and memorized the information. If I made a mistake and got a bad impression, it would be a big problem.

Fortunately, everyone was kind to us. We received a fresh greeting from the seniors of Kishi Entertainment's Vanilla Jin.

It seemed a bit forced to think that the Vanilla Jin seniors were involved in the "MV director poaching." They might be acting, but it's more likely that Kishi Entertainment was involved.

Most entertainment agencies plan and produce idols, and idols follow those plans. Hanul Entertainment was an exception.

“Nam Chorok? Chorok?”

While greeting, we met a middle-aged man who recognized Chorok hyung. He seemed to be in a high position.

“Hello, uncle?”

Was Chorok hyung's network so extensive? I was surprised but understood. With a famous actor father, he could meet people of his father's age at the broadcasting station. It wouldn't be strange to see him exchange greetings with senior singers without any formality.

“With this makeup and outfit... an idol? You debuted as an idol? What about your father?”

“Pretend you don't know, uncle. If my father asks, don't forget to play it off.”

The affectionate tone showed the depth of Chorok hyung's relationship with the uncle. The other members, except for Chorok hyung, were pressed against the wall, unable to do anything.

I wanted to make way, but leaving Chorok hyung alone was also a problem, and there was nowhere to hide in the narrow corridor.

“Chorok...”

“Anyway, my father will find out soon, so you don't have to deal with it, uncle. I'm not a child, uncle.”

Chorok hyung's firm answer made the uncle sigh and pat his shoulder with a blunt hand before leaving. It seemed that Chorok hyung's father disapproved of idols.

It makes sense. The image of idols in the minds of people of his generation isn't very positive.

Moreover, knowing the life of an idol, he might oppose it even more. Regardless, it was a problem for Chorok hyung and his father to resolve.

Chorok hyung, who doesn't lose in words, couldn't persuade his parents. It seems that Chorok hyung's father is very stubborn.

We gathered closely in the waiting room. The divided waiting room was not spacious, and the soundproofing was poor, so it was inevitable to sit close to avoid disturbing other teams.

“Sorry. I took your time because of my personal issues.”

Even if it was a personal matter, drawing a line and apologizing made me feel hurt. We would spend more time together than with our families over the next seven years.

Who was it that said I shouldn't keep my distance from the members?

“I thought we were like real brothers... I was mistaken...”

I thought we were a team that could help each other if any member had a problem. Being called the youngest didn't bother me. In fact, it made me a bit happy because I don't have siblings.

“...Yoon-a. I'm sorry. I didn't understand your feelings.”

Did my feelings unconsciously leak out in my mumbling? Maybe I was more hurt than I thought. While Chorok hyung hugged and shook me, I had to hide my blushing ears.

I wanted to hit my past self who asked why expressing true feelings was embarrassing. True feelings can be embarrassing.

“I'm not a baby...”

“Oh, you're not a baby? Is that so?”

I closed my eyes and endured the embarrassment. There were no children around, and Chorok hyung's tone gave me goosebumps.

When I shivered, the members burst into laughter. I glanced at Chorok hyung's face and felt more at ease.

“Since we have a real youngest, it's awkward to call someone the youngest. Let's call you a baby.”

“Don't suggest it as if it's already decided... Chorok hyung.”

I didn't agree.

“At eighteen, you should be in a dark and scary period, but you're cute, Yoon-a.”

“O-ran, you can't say that. You look cute to everyone. And I was born nine months earlier than you, so why do you treat me like a younger sibling?”

“If I'm cute on the outside, you're cute on the inside. Is there an age limit for cuteness?”

Is that so? I tilted my head, and O-ran gave a lecture on cuteness. O-ran, who knows she's cute and uses it, seemed to have deeply pondered the mechanics of cuteness.

“Everyone, listen carefully. Cuteness is a powerful weapon. It's also a survival strategy, like babies, cats, and dogs. The cuteness you see at first might fade, so you need to maintain it. On the other hand, cute actions and thoughts are the key to extending the lifespan of an idol who needs to be loved by the public.”

“Wow?! Is O-ran hyung a cuteness doctor?”

“It's wisdom to survive as an idol.”

“It's difficult. Cuteness.”

“You don't need to think it's difficult, Jeteon. First, change your perception of cuteness. Being cute is similar to being adorable. It's a compliment, isn't it?”

‘Cute’ is often used for babies and pets, and it's not a familiar word for grown men. Unless it's between lovers.

When O-ran called me cute and Chorok hyung called me a baby, I felt an obligation to reject it.

Wrong perception! I should accept it gratefully, as it means they find me adorable.

“You don't need to deliberately act cute. Natural cuteness is more special. If you overdo it, you might become unlikable. Instead, remember that cuteness can save the world.”

That's... grand.

O-ran was so serious that no one could respond. Instead, they looked as if they had received a fresh stimulus and had a realization.

“So, the conclusion is that Yoon-a hyung is a baby?”

“Why is it like that?”

Even the real youngest, Bakha, called me a baby... But because of what I just heard, I couldn't say I didn't like it.

Could it be? Was O-ran's speech a setup for this?

I looked at O-ran with a suspicious eye, and she met my gaze with a meaningful smile. Ah