Chapter 51

What can I do?

I was so angry that I don’t remember how I got back to the practice room.

How could they humiliate me like that at the company? As a company-affiliated composer, there will be plenty of opportunities to work with Theora, even if not for this album.

Did they think I would just let it fester inside without any protest because I’m young? Or did they hate me so much that they couldn’t bear it, even knowing it would cause trouble in the future?

Whatever the reason, they need to be prepared to take responsibility for their actions.

When I entered the practice room and remained lost in thought without saying a word, the members gathered around me.

“Yiwan. What did you hear at the company? Why do you look like that?”

“Yeah. Is it bad news? Is it hard to tell us? Can’t we share the burden?”

I tried to hide my feelings, but it seems they all noticed. Green and Seohun looked at my face with concern.

However, I didn’t want to share the negative experience, especially the personal humiliation, with the members. While sharing sadness can halve it, the contagious nature of negative emotions can’t be underestimated. Besides, I can handle it on my own.

“...The A&R team leader suggested I try composing an OST, and I was thinking about it.”

“Yiwan, that’s great! An OST! Wow!”

“Original Sound Track? Yiwan, do you compose movie music too?”

“No. It’s for a drama that actor Naohyuk will star in. It’s a good opportunity, so I accepted it. We’ll have to wait and see if my song is chosen.”

It was a valuable opportunity to build my career as a composer. Even if my song isn’t selected, the experience will be helpful in the future.

“Come on. If it’s a song by Yiwan, it’ll definitely be an OST!”

“I agree.”

Unlike Parkha and Jiyong, who congratulated me warmly, the other three members didn’t react positively.

Green and Seohun only gave brief congratulations and then stared at me intently.

I could feel their piercing gaze, observing the subtle movements of my eyes, the creases in my eyebrows, and the angle of my lips. Olan even glared at me with a frown.

What did I do wrong? I was puzzled. The confusion only cleared up when Olan spoke with an annoyed expression.

“Speak up. Yiwan. What happened?”

“Nothing happened….”

“Don’t think we don’t know anything. Do you know why Parkha and Jiyong are listening? It’s because they respect your opinion. They believe you have nothing to hide. Do you talk about composing with that kind of expression?”

Oops. Did I show that much? I’ve heard that my non-verbal expressions have developed because I’ve spent a lot of time not speaking.

Is this what they meant? I should have paid more attention to my facial expressions.

None of the members challenged Olan’s words; they all waited to hear what I would say.

It seemed they wouldn’t back down until I told the truth. With five members taking turns to question me, I wouldn’t last long.

“Yiwan, did you forget the promise we made before our debut? It’s written on the front door of our dorm, remember?”

“Right! If there’s a problem, you should tell us right away!”

I had planned to handle the incident in the company’s lounge on my own. But now, with Theora’s rules being brought up, there was no way out. I sighed, giving up on keeping it a secret.

“I went to the lounge to read the script after hearing about the drama OST. I finished reading and was about to leave when a male employee started causing trouble. He said my song only became the title track because Theora was being promoted as a ‘self-produced idol.’ He claimed that since a mediocre song became the title track, Theora didn’t become as popular as the SEED seniors. He even said that if Theora fails in the future, it will be my fault….”

“What? Who!”

The members echoed in unison, creating a resonance. Parkha was so surprised she froze, Jiyong tapped his ear, and Green grabbed the back of his neck in disbelief.

“What kind of nonsense did you hear? Did you just let that guy get away with it?”

Olan, who spoke without a filter, was clearly furious. Seohun, on the other hand, seemed worried about whether I was hurt.

“What can I do? Beat him up? Get buried right after our debut?”

“F*cking bastard. Do they think we can’t do anything because we’re idols? How should we deal with this guy?”

Olan, who had been trying to stay low, was now running his fingers through his hair, ready to rush to the CEO’s office at any moment.

Seohun was sweating, trying to calm down the wild Olan.

“Did you just stand there and listen? Surely you’re not blaming yourself for your lack of skill, like that guy said?”

“...No.”

“Considering Theora’s success and failure as your responsibility is arrogant. Think about all the hard work that went into our debut. Don’t you agree?”

It stung a little. For a moment, I had wondered if my lack of ability had negatively impacted our group.

Now I understand. As Green said, Theora’s success or failure doesn’t depend on me alone. Thinking that all problems are my fault is an overactive sense of self.

“I also said it wasn’t my fault, but he wouldn’t listen.”

“What’s the name of that employee?”

I had never heard Green’s voice sound so ominous. The emotion in his voice was evident as he spoke each word slowly.

If I had been the target of his anger, I would have been terrified. I didn’t even want to imagine it. I resolved never to make Green truly angry.

“...Kiba, a composer.”

“Sounds like a sore loser. He must have felt inferior after losing to Yiwan. What a loser.”

“Olan, watch your mouth.”

“So what? It’s just us here. No need to hold back, right?”

Green didn’t try to stop Olan anymore. As the leader, he had tried to mediate once, but he seemed satisfied with Olan’s straightforward approach.

“Kiba? Kiwi Banana causing trouble for our main vocalist? Sounds like a diss track. The lyrics will probably be hilarious.”

Jiyong wasn’t just saying that. He pulled out a notebook and pen from his bag in the corner of the practice room and started writing diss track lyrics with an angry expression. Despite his continued anger, he seemed to be drawing inspiration.

That’s why artists are often seen as eccentrics.

“What can we do? I want to expose him right away! But since Yiwan is the one involved, I’ll follow what you want.”

Parkha asked seriously. Despite her usually cheerful and energetic demeanor, she wasn’t taking this lightly.

The other members also calmed down and waited for my answer.

“No matter what I say, he’ll interpret it his way. Even if I tell the company, he’ll think I’m just trying to get help from the company. I want to show him. I want to prove that everything he said is wrong.”

I want to prove that my music, our music, is not wrong. That Theora is just gathering strength to leap forward. That we have the potential to become the best idols with our own strength.

“People just haven’t heard Yiwan’s songs yet. Once they do, they’ll realize how good they are. I think all the songs, whether title tracks or B-sides, are excellent.”

“I agree. The more I listen, the more I like them.”

Green and Jiyong’s excessive praise made my ears tingle.

“To prove that, let’s make sure we succeed. Let’s rise to a level where no one can deny it.”

“Right. Let’s show them with results.”

Seohun read my thoughts more accurately than anyone else. Empty words won’t affect that arrogant composer.

I thought all the Theora members understood my intentions, but Olan interjected.

“Then we just let that guy off? I want him to pay for what he said to Yiwan, regardless of our actions. I do.”

To punish him, I would need to inform the company. But there was no evidence or witnesses to prove Kiba’s insults. It wasn’t a simple problem to solve.

Olan’s thinking has always been based on rationality. He would do something if there was a benefit, and not if there wasn’t.

Yet he was willing to take action that could cause friction with the company, with no benefit.

“Olan. I’m fine.”

It’s natural to be angry about something related to Theora. Olan is a member of Theora. But the composer’s insults were directed at me personally, so it was my problem alone.

“Fine? It’s obvious you’re not fine. I don’t want to be complicit. And even if you’re fine, my pride isn’t.”

Olan insisted on punishing the composer, despite my saying I was fine.

Why?

“I can’t stand seeing someone I care about get hurt. If they’re going to insult you, I’ll do it myself.”

It seems I’m now part of Olan’s circle. I thought it would take a long time to be accepted by someone who thinks so rationally.

The term “someone I care about” coming from Olan’s mouth felt out of place.

“Oh~! Olan! Someone you care about! That’s cool! Do you mean all of us are someone you care about?”

“Shut up, Parkha.”

Olan didn’t deny it, even as he scolded the excited Parkha. I realized that his honest attitude towards us, different from his public persona, was a sign of trust.

I was standing at a low threshold, hesitant to cross it, unsure if I would be accepted or rejected.

Maybe I was too passive in my cautious approach to relationships. The same probably applied to the other members.

“If someone makes our member cry, it’s only natural for the seniors to seek revenge.”

“Huh? I didn’t cry. Hong Olan.”

I sighed, and the other members laughed. How long will they keep calling me a baby?

“Agreed. Even a worm will squirm when stepped on. If we do nothing, we’re worse than a worm.”

Does that proverb mean that? Jiyong, who has lived abroad for a long time, interpreted it in a unique way.

To avoid being worse than a worm, I should at least try to squirm.

“Even if we can’t punish him, I think it’s best to give him a warning.”

“Green is right. There’s no guarantee this will be the last time it happens.”

Seohun looked at me intently, as if seeking my agreement.

“Alright. But let’s do it in a way that doesn’t cause us any harm….”

“Moderately? Fine. Just remember that the standard for ‘moderately’ varies from person to person in our country.”

I started to fear how far Olan’s “moderately” would go. He’s the kind of person who, once he starts, won’t stop until he’s done.