Chapter 4

At around the end of the hour of Shen, which is around five in the afternoon, this is the time when the major brothels are about to receive their guests. At this moment, Jiang Xia had just finished drinking and eating with Han Yu, and now Han Yu was gathering all the servants, head waiters, and pimps to announce Jiang Xia’s promotion to the position of study master.

The study master at Qunfang Pavilion was a position of exceptional status. He was not under the jurisdiction of anyone, nor did he have to answer to anyone, reporting directly to Mama Kang. If this were all, it wouldn’t be a big deal, but the reason for the exceptional status was that the study master was usually the only literate person besides the two top courtesans and Mama Kang.

Who would willingly be bald if they had hair? If the servants, head waiters, pimps, and girls at Qunfang Pavilion could read, none of them would come here to do this job that invites criticism and disdain. They could just set up a stall on the street to help people write and read letters and live a decent life.

These days, it’s true that “all professions are inferior, only scholarship is supreme.” Take the scholars on the street who help people write letters, for example. They charge twenty coins for a letter of five hundred words or less, and ten coins to read a letter of five hundred words or less. If the letter is longer, they charge extra, and you have to be polite when you ask them, or they might flip their eyes and say, “My calligraphy is not so cheap, you can go elsewhere,” and then ignore you.

The study master in the shop is different. After all, he’s one of us. As long as you speak nicely to him, you can ask him to write a letter for a small tip, and reading a letter usually costs only five or six coins.

Upon hearing that Jiang Xia had been promoted to study master, Zhao Yougua, who shared a room with him and slept next to him, couldn’t help but say, “Master Han, this isn’t right. I know Jiang Xia, he can’t even recognize a single character, how can he be a study master?”

Han Yu frowned and glared at Zhao Yougua, shouting, “Do you have the right to interrupt when I’m speaking? And who told you that my brother Jiang can’t read?”

Han Yu’s words “my brother Jiang” immediately made everyone realize that Jiang Xia had climbed up the ladder to Han Yu. Everyone’s gaze towards Jiang Xia instantly changed. Han Yu was about to scold Zhao Yougua, but Jiang Xia pulled on Han Yu’s arm and said, “Brother Han, I was just a small servant before, and now I’m suddenly a study master. It’s normal for everyone to be suspicious, don’t get angry.”

Jiang Xia then looked at Zhao Yougua and said, “Yougua, let me prove to you that I can read. Do you have any letters for me to read?”

“Yes,” Zhao Yougua immediately took out a letter from his chest and gave it to Jiang Xia, “I already paid ten coins to Mr. Lu on East Street to read this letter, don’t try to fool me.”

Jiang Xia smiled and shook his head, took the letter, and after scanning it, he read, “Yougua, my son, I hope you are well. I have received your letter, and I am glad to know that you are living a stable life in Shuntian Prefecture...”

Jiang Xia read the entire letter without missing a word, then he looked up and said, “Yougua, did I read anything wrong?”

“Amazing, you really can read?” Zhao Yougua said, wide-eyed.

Although Jiang Xia couldn’t recite the content, he remembered the sounds, so he was pretty sure that Jiang Xia had read it correctly. Just as Zhao Yougua finished speaking, Han Yu couldn’t help but curse, “What a waste of words, if Brother Jiang couldn’t read, could he be a study master?”

Jiang Xia looked at Zhao Yougua and said, “Yougua, your father wants you to write back to him soon. Why don’t I help you write a letter now?”

“Now?” Zhao Yougua shook his head, “It’s only the 17th, there are still more than ten days until the monthly allowance, I don’t have any money for a tip.”

“Just a few words, what tip do you need?” Jiang Xia nodded at the counter, and Huang Dayong quickly brought the writing materials to Jiang Xia. Huang Dayong was in charge of collecting money at Qunfang Pavilion, but he could only count money and keep records; he was clueless about more complex characters.

After taking the writing materials, Jiang Xia said to Zhao Yougua, “Yougua, you read and I’ll write. Let’s try to be quick so we don’t delay everyone’s work.”

“Okay! Okay, okay!” Zhao Yougua nodded vigorously and started reading. As he read, Jiang Xia wrote, and as he read, Zhao Yougua started to cry. He had so much to say, with an old father and mother, two brothers and their wives, and three sisters, he wanted to greet them all. But out of habit, when he read, “I heard that my elder brother fell off a cow a few days ago, I wonder how he is now,” Zhao Yougua estimated that it was already five hundred words.

Five hundred words was the threshold for the cost of a letter, and Zhao Yougua didn’t dare to read any more, fearing that Jiang Xia would charge him. Han Yu also lost his patience; he had allowed Jiang Xia to write the letter to prove to everyone that he could read and write.

Han Yu said, “Alright, alright, I’ve written so much for you without charging, that’s enough. Take the letter and stand aside.”

“Yes, yes...” Zhao Yougua carefully blew on the ink to dry it, then held it and was about to step aside when Han Yu called out, “Wait!”

He took the letter from Zhao Yougua, glanced at it, and praised, “Brother Jiang, your handwriting is really beautiful.”

Although Han Yu wasn’t very literate, he had seen a lot and could understand a bit. Jiang Xia had written the letter in Dong Qichang’s style, which was elegant and classic. Even someone who couldn’t read would find it pleasing to the eye.

Jiang Xia smiled and said, “Brother Han, I’m sorry to embarrass you. If you ever need to write a letter, just come to me, and I’ll do it for free.”

“Is that so? Then I’ll thank you in advance, hahaha...” Han Yu showed his closeness to Jiang Xia in front of everyone, and from then on, everyone knew that Jiang Xia was Han Yu’s brother, and no one in Qunfang Pavilion would dare to bully him.

Jiang Xia took the letter from Han Yu and handed it to Zhao Yougua, patting his shoulder and saying, “If you have more to say, come to me later, and I’ll finish it for you, no extra charge.”

Zhao Yougua looked at Jiang Xia, surprised that he was willing to help him despite his earlier doubts. He immediately knelt down and kowtowed to Jiang Xia, saying, “Thank you, Mr. Jiang, thank you, Mr. Jiang.”

“Hey, Yougua, what are you doing? Get up quickly, or I won’t help you write the letter.” Jiang Xia helped Zhao Yougua up, and in a short time, he had gone from being called Jiang Xia to “Mr. Jiang.”

Han Yu saw that it was getting late, and the guests were about to arrive, so he pointed to a few servants and said, “You few stay and help Brother Jiang move, the rest of you go back to work.”

“Yes!” Everyone dispersed, and the servants Han Yu had pointed to stayed to help Jiang Xia move. As a study master, Jiang Xia’s new residence was on the third floor of Qunfang Pavilion. In the past, only two people had the privilege of living on the third floor: Han Yu and He Chaohui. Now that He Chaohui had been expelled from Qunfang Pavilion with a broken leg, Jiang Xia moved into his room.

Just after moving, Jiang Xia was about to give the servants a few coins as a tip, but before he could, he heard a woman’s furious shout, “Kang Qianyan, you bitch, come out here!”

Hearing this, Han Yu’s face darkened, and he couldn’t help but shake his head, “Heaven, that shrew is here again.”

“Shrew? Who is it?” Jiang Xia couldn’t help but ask.

Han Yu looked at Jiang Xia strangely and said, “You don’t know? The owner of Chunyi Building at the end of the street, Mama Li. Her brother is the magistrate of Shuntian Prefecture, a high-ranking official. We can’t do anything to her. I wonder what Mama Kang did to anger her this time, probably dug up one of Mama Li’s girls again.”

“Oh? Let’s go see.” Jiang Xia pulled Han Yu and walked to the front hall.

At the entrance to the front hall, Mama Kang was hiding behind the door. Hearing footsteps, she was startled and turned to see Jiang Xia and Han Yu, then she relaxed. Mama Kang said to Han Yu, “Master Han, this is up to you, go get rid of that shrew.”

Han Yu looked at Mama Kang with a difficult expression, “Mama Kang, I... you know, her brother is the magistrate of Shuntian Prefecture, I can’t use force. Last time I tried to pull her, she scratched me several times.”

While Han Yu and Mama Kang were talking, Jiang Xia peeked through the door. Fortunately, no guests had arrived yet, so the hall was empty except for Mama Li, who was cursing loudly. Mama Li, known for her terrifying reputation, looked like a shrew: fat, ugly, and short. Her mouth was as big as a large soup bowl, her eyes as small as soybeans, and her body short and round like a ball.

Her curses were also very vulgar, mostly repetitive, such as, “Kang Qianyan, you bitch, you slut, you deserve to be cut into a thousand pieces...”

Mama Kang, who had been a courtesan in her youth and learned poetry, music, calligraphy, and painting, didn’t know how to curse, so she was at a loss and said with a pale face, “Han Yu, give the order, whoever can get rid of that shrew, I’ll give them ten taels of silver.”

Ten taels? Jiang Xia’s eyes lit up, and after observing, he swallowed and asked, “Mama Kang, getting rid of her might be difficult, can I just drive her away with words?”

“Drive her away with words?” Kang Qianyan immediately became excited and happily held Jiang Xia’s hands, “If you can drive her away, I’ll give you twenty taels!”

“Twenty taels?” Jiang Xia’s breathing quickened, and he nodded heavily, “Alright, I’ll give it a try.”

As Jiang Xia was about to go out, Han Yu pulled him, looking at him with a solemn expression as if he were a warrior about to go to battle, “Brother, be careful.”

Jiang Xia nodded heavily, “Brother, don’t worry.”

After saying that, Jiang Xia was about to go out. Suddenly, he saw that Mama Kang had some seal paste, which he guessed she was preparing to sign a contract. It seemed Mama Kang had indeed dug up one of the other side’s girls. Jiang Xia’s eyes twinkled, and he said, “Mama Kang, can I borrow some of your seal paste?”

Without waiting for Mama Kang’s answer, Jiang Xia smeared some on his palm.

Walking out the door, Jiang Xia heard Mama Li cursing, “Kang Qianyan, you bitch, I’ll f**k your grandfather.”

“Hey!” Jiang Xia shouted, “Bitch, who are you cursing?”

“I’m cursing Kang Qianyan of Qunfang Pavilion!” Mama Li answered without hesitation.

Jiang Xia nodded, “So you’re cursing Mama Kang. You have some self-awareness.”

“Hahaha...” Hearing Jiang Xia’s response, the girls and workers of Qunfang Pavilion, who had been silent, burst into laughter.

Mama Li immediately realized she had fallen into Jiang Xia’s trap and was furious, pointing at Jiang Xia and shouting, “You bastard, I’ll f**k your grandfather.”

Jiang Xia bowed to Mama Li, “Thank you on behalf of my grandfather. Although you look like a pig, fat and ugly, you’re still younger than my grandfather, so it’s not a disgrace for him to be with you.”

“Hahaha...” The people of Qunfang Pavilion laughed again.

Mama Kang, excited, grabbed Han Yu’s arm, “Well said, really well said, Jiang Xia is truly talented.”

Mama Li completely lost it, and in that moment, she went into a rage, her fighting spirit soaring to ten thousand points... Oh, no, that’s not right. In that moment, she went crazy and shouted, “You bastard, you have slanted eyes, big ears, a garlic nose, a shoe-shaped face, and if you have a son, he’ll have no anus, and if you have a daughter, she’ll be a prostitute. I curse your whole family to die a bad death.”

“You old hag, you’re not fit for pigs or dogs, even cats would be disgusted. At first glance, you look like a pig, and on closer inspection, you’re even worse. I don’t want to discriminate against you, but this is fate’s arrangement, a curse from your past life for peeking at Uncle Wang next door bathing. But I have to say, why do you go out in broad daylight? Scaring people is one thing, but what if you scare the ghosts? Do you want to scare them to death again?

And you have the nerve to say I have a son with no anus, don’t you know your own anus is on your face? Do you know why I say that?”

Jiang Xia loudly asked the people of Qunfang Pavilion, who were curious and asked, “Why?”

“Because when you come in, you spew filth from your mouth. If your anus wasn’t on your face, how could your mouth be so foul? Oh, I can’t talk anymore, I feel like vomiting just being near you.” Jiang Xia made a gesture as if he were about to vomit.

Mama Kang was so excited she couldn’t contain herself. Jiang Xia’s words made her suddenly recall the few rare moments of climax in her life. Looking at Jiang Xia’s cursing, she couldn’t help but marvel, how can someone be so handsome? It’s too unfair.

As the leader of the Thousand Doors, Jiang Xia was not only adept at highbrow things but also proficient in lowbrow ones. He had once played seven roles to swindle a rich merchant out of thirty million, so for Jiang Xia, cursing a shrew like Mama Li was just a light rain. With Mama Li’s vocabulary, she was at best an apprentice, and there was no way she could compare to a master like Jiang Xia.

Cursing is an art. It requires a large vocabulary, creative ingenuity, and the ability to curse in a logical and progressive manner, maintaining a calm and composed demeanor while leading the onlookers to follow your rhythm, making the opponent so angry they want to die.

Mama Li was breathing heavily, experiencing for the first time in her life what it felt like to be so angry she could die. She was furious and, once she caught her breath, shouted, “You bastard, you’re asking for it!”

With that, Mama Li charged at Jiang Xia.

“Jiang Xia, be careful.” The girls and workers on the second and third floors of Qunfang Pavilion called out, but it was too late. Mama Li pushed Jiang Xia, and he flew backward, hitting the ground and spitting out a mouthful of blood, then stood up, his face covered in blood.

Jiang Xia walked towards Mama Li with difficulty, his words slurred, “Don’t run... killing requires retribution...”

“Ahhh!!!” Mama Li screamed, so frightened she wet her pants, and shouted, “Don’t come near me, don’t come near me, help!!!”

With that, Mama Li turned and ran out of Qunfang Pavilion, tripping over the threshold and falling hard, but she got up and ran out the door without a second thought.

“Jiang Xia!” Mama Kang was shocked to see Jiang Xia’s condition and ran over. She saw Jiang Xia stand up straight, wiping the “blood” from his face with his sleeve, and said, “If you have the guts, don’t run, let’s curse it out for three hundred rounds!”

The people of Qunfang Pavilion had been terrified, thinking Jiang Xia was seriously injured, but now they saw him wiping the “blood” from his face, they realized he was faking it, and the “blood” was just vermilion seal paste.

Seeing Mama Kang and Han Yu run over, Jiang Xia bowed and said, “Reporting to Mama Kang, Jiang Xia has completed his mission and returned victorious. The enemy was completely defeated... Hmm? What’s that smell? So pungent...”

Jiang Xia saw a puddle of water where Mama Li had stood and added seriously, “Yes, the enemy finally fled in a panic, soiling themselves.”

Mama Kang laughed and playfully hit Jiang Xia’s chest, “Well done, come to my room later for your reward.”

“Thank you, Mama Kang.” Jiang Xia smiled.

At that moment, Han Yu shouted, “Alright, alright, stop watching, everyone get ready, the guests are coming.”

Someone then called out, “Jiang Xia, well done.” The entire Qunfang Pavilion erupted in thunderous applause that lasted for a long time.

Jiang Xia also smiled and bowed to everyone. Someone once said that flowers and applause should be the eternal pursuit of men.

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**End of Chapter**