Chapter 1

On the forehead of this strange, unlucky ghost, two big characters were suddenly engraved in golden, sparkling light: “big money”

Ding Xiaowei drove for a small trading company.

The company specialized in cooperating with a crystal rhinestone factory in Yiwu, bringing the raw materials to add some designs and processing them into finished products. The main customers were located in Guangdong and Guangxi[1] and occasionally they would receive orders from black bros.[2]

Ding Xiaowei didn't understand at first, why the darker skin someone had, the more they would like brightly colored and shiny, sparkly things. Let's say that a black bear[3] puts a big red flower on its head, can that look good?

When he put forward this point of view, his colleagues scolded him seriously[4] and asked, but what if the guy was replaced with a 36G[5] busty she-bear?

Ding Xiaowei nodded, it really had to be a 36G, who cares about flowers[6], inserting it was the important part.

Later on, when he took the boss’ wife, who played mahjong, home in the middle of the night, he almost ran into a black guy on the road. He finally understood completely. When a pitch black, obscure body dressed in dark clothes rushed out all of a sudden, it was really fucking hard to see! No wonder they said that black people have the highest car accident mortality rate in the world, when they put bright colors on themselves it was purely for the safety of their own lives.

Once, when he had some idle time during lunch, he shared this theory with his colleagues. During those times he had no scruples bragging, yet at other times, Ding Xiaowei would truly rise early and go to bed late[7] to water the motherland’s future flower.[8]

Ding Xiaowei had worked in this company for more than four years. In addition to going to work, he had devoted almost all of his time, energy and money to his precious daughter.

Previously, when his wife hadn’t yet separated from him, he still had time to sneak off after work to go drinking, sing karaoke and shit-talk with his colleagues. Now he was responsible for sending his daughter to preschool every morning, and for getting her home in the evening. Being both a father and a mother every day would wear down every martial hero.

Actually, if it weren’t for the divorce, the child and having little money, just by his looks and figure Ding Xiaowei would have no shortage of beautiful women[9]. Ding Xiaowei really worked hard on personal issues. He often took active initiative to get the company’s female compatriots to introduce him to partners. The requirements were not high – shouldn’t be much older than him, and not too much younger. Should be able to get along with him properly and just treat the child well… Of course, a small, smooth, round and somewhat fleshy body would be even better.

It wasn’t that he didn’t have dates in the beginning, but when most people heard that Ding Xiaowei was thirty-three, that he didn’t have many savings, and that the child he brought with him could not speak, no matter how hard you would look, these conditions were really inferior, and in the end it all came to nothing.

Ding Xiaowei was anxious.

A coarse gentleman raising a child alone, and furthermore, this child was also really too exhausting. That his daughter was still not able to speak was a major blow. If it turned out that her mind was not developed in a completely healthy way, how would she be able to get married in the future?

One day, he accidentally realized that his little Lingling was spreading her thighs like him when she was sitting. It's so ugly for the girl to sit like that, it immediately made his heart feel painful, so he didn't sleep well all night. He just thought, if only he could find a mother who could teach and manage her.

Although Ding Xiaowei, so pressured by a poverty-stricken life, had no ambitions, he nevertheless now had both a short-term and a long-term goal.

The short-term goal was to make money, to make a lot of money.

The long-term goal was to marry a wife, get a real wife.[10]

As for how to make money, he hadn't thought about it yet.

People with hollow pockets have a common problem, they love to daydream.

Ding Xiaowei had more than once fantasized about winning the lottery, picking up gold, about money dropping from the sky, being stalked by a rich woman, or, maybe for example that he accidentally helped a desolate nobleman, and the nobleman would then transform into a magnificent person, who would afterwards be so grateful that he begged to repay him. As a matter of fact, wasn’t this the kind of play you would often see on TV?

Being a good person while making a profit, such a convenient good deed also circled around in his head like a chant.

When he was done fantasizing, Ding Xiaowei was obviously still the Ding Xiaowei who went about his daily routine[11]. He was still an industrious person[12] who served his daughter and his boss, with a salary after tax of two thousand and three. He was the Ding Xiaowei who took advantage of the time when the boss wasn’t using the car to go out and make extra money on black work[13].

Even if he was beaten to death, he would still not have expected that the love drama where an aristocrat would fall into misfortune and reach out a hand, urgently needing his help, would really happen to him.

By coincidence, after he took his daughter home that day, his boss called him again and told him to send the boss’ son, who was in junior high school, to the beach, where his class was organizing a barbecue.

Originally, Ding Xiaowei had planned to play with his daughter for a while. When he heard that this was a chance to make extra money, he hurriedly rode his bicycle to the boss's house, drove the boss's car to pick up his son and take him to the beach.

The boss's son told him that he would call him when he was about to leave, Ding Xiaowei readily agreed, and drove the car around a turn to pick up black work.

In summer the beach is very lively and taxis aren’t easy to get, so it’s the most suitable time to pick up work.

After a trip to the city, he drove back to the beach, mainly because he was afraid that the boss's son would call him and he would not be able to get there in time.

When driving along the long coastline, Ding Xiaowei opened the car window. Being blown by the sea breeze mixed with warm humidity made one cool and comfortable.

In addition, the sound of the sea breeze filling his ear were also occasionally accompanied by strange sounds of fireworks rising to the sky.

Ding Xiaowei looked at the dazzling fireworks blooming in the sky, his heart stirred, recalling the aggrieved look on his daughter’s little face before he left.

He turned the steering wheel, driving to a beach park. He remembered that in this area there are people selling fireworks all year round, those cheap ones costing two coins for ten sticks which can be played with for a long time.

Ding Xiaowei stopped the car casually on the side of the road.

This place was said to be a park, but it was actually an open-air observation deck.

Apart from a pavilion, there were not many facilities and also few people. But couples still liked this kind of place, where the lights were dark and there were blind spots everywhere.

When Ding Xiaowei passed by a couple kissing, his heart went sour and he mentally scolded them for being stupid. Who didn't know that there was a high frequency of robbery here?

Ding Xiaowei looked for the one who was pushing the trolley to sell fireworks, then went up, pointed at a small bundle of sparklers and asked, "How much is this?"

“2.5 yuan”

“Fuck, the price of this plaything has gone up?”

The man laughed,”What isn’t going up now.”

Ding Xiaowei’s heart wasn’t very satisfied, wondering to himself, why would he want to buy such little stick thing for 2.5 yuan that would burn for how many seconds, isn’t this flushing money down the toilet[14]? For those 2 and a half yuan, it would be better to buy a few cartons[15] of milk.

Ding Xiaowei turned around and wanted to leave.

But he hesitated again after taking a step.

Wasn’t it just 50 mao[16] more than expected? He would be happy to buy and bring it back to his daughter, he usually didn’t buy her any toys, and these would still be used.

Ding Xiaowei turned around again, picked up a bundle and put it upside down in his hand. He grinned, "Well, let me give you three yuan, and you can give me this one", Ding Xiaowei said while he wanted to pick up something that seemed like a small cannon.

“Aiya, boss!” The peddler quickly held his hand, “You can really joke around, these cost 15 yuan each.”

Ding Xiaowei grinned,”It’s 15 yuan for this broken plaything?”

”This colorful thing can leap up into the sky, so pretty!”

Ding Xiaowei laughed,”Ha, being able to ascend to heaven, that’s expensive.”

The peddler also started to laugh.

Ding Xiaowei unpacked the package of sparklers, held it up to his nose tip and sniffed. “Boss, you are not smelly, right?[17] I want to take it back to my girl to play with, but if it doesn't light up, what to do then? I can't come back from very far away and look for you for 2.5 yuan.”

“Aiya, don't worry, these are all good.”

Ding Xiaowei sniffed at the musty smell and was a little worried, “No good enough, I have to try it. Don’t you have a lighter?”

The peddler gave him a lighter. “Boss, you can go down below here to the beach shore to test, don’t point it towards here.”

Ding Xiaowei nodded, “Okay.”

He took the lighter and went down the stone steps.

There were couples of lovers standing in twos and threes on the beach, laughing and making noises, being exceedingly cheerful.

Ding Xiaowei became jealous again and simply ignored them[18], he went around a big stone, picked a quiet corner, and squatted on the ground and hit the fairy stick. He took a detour around a big stone, chose a secluded corner without any people and crouched down on the ground with the sparkler.

When it touched fire, that thing whistled all of a sudden, not to mention it was quite pretty, even the sparks and lightning illuminated a small area around it.

Ding Xiaowei stood up, unable to stop laughing foolishly.

Waving his hand to write under the night sky until the light burned out for the last few minutes...

“Hey, what the fuck!” Ding Xiaowei yelled, and sat down on the ground in fright, his hair standing up.

Before the last bit of light went out, he seemed to see a… person lying by the edge of a stone not far from him, with blood all over his head.

Ding Xiaowei looked over there in the not-so-bright moonlight. Indeed, the man was wearing a black suit, and if he hadn’t paid attention, he really wouldn't have noticed. He just squatted here for so long without noticing.

Ding Xiaowei was generally a courageous master, but he was really unprepared and frightened just now. Now that he calmed down, he could still think of the joke about the black guys[19]. He stood up and stuffed the remaining fairy stick in his back pocket. After swallowing his spit, he walked towards the person step by step.

Only when he got closer did he realize that it was a man wearing a black suit, with a long body and broad shoulders, lying on the ground with his head tilted. His body was wet, and the blood on top of his head stained the sand next to him.

Alive or dead.

Alive or dead.

Alive or dead.

Ding Xiaowei's heart was beating extremely fast, like the beat of a drum. In any case, as a good citizen, he felt it was his duty to check if the man was alive or dead. If he’s dead, just call the police and report it. But what if he’s alive?

Ding Xiaowei was worried, if the man was alive, then having seen him, he must be saved and will have to be sent to the hospital. Nowadays it can cost several hundreds of yuan if you have for a cold and a fever, on top of that, an open head wound, how much money won’t that cost!

Ding Xiaowei was both hesitant and a little nervous. Even with his big courage, he was afraid of turning the person over and seeing a bloody face that lacked nose and eyes.

While hesitating, he suddenly heard an inaudible moan.

Ding Xiaowei's collapsed nerves suddenly rose again.

Right, alive, so save the person.

Ding Xiaowei quickly squatted down and turned the person over.

The person really was still alive. Although his body seemed as cold as ice cubes, his mouth and nose still emitted heat, but he seemed to be very weak.

Ding Xiaowei used the moonlight to look at him and found that the outline of this guy was just like a painting, both deep and beautiful. Even being as old as he is, never before had he touched such a good-looking human being.

But now was not the time to think about it. Ding Xiaowei patted his face, “Hey, buddy, buddy, are you okay?”

The man groaned a few times before slowly opening his eyes.

Ding Xiaowei was very happy, “Ai, you're awake, you’re lucky. I'm taking you to the hospital now, how can I inform your family, got to tell your family to send money...”

Suddenly the man, who to Ding Xiaowei had seemed on the verge of death, found strength from who knows where and grabbed hold of Ding Xiaowei’s wrist with so much power that Ding Xiaowei felt as if all the bones in his body were about to break.

“Must not.. go to the hospital...”

“Will you fucking let go of me!” Ding Xiaowei’s face was distorted with pain.

The man’s hand didn't relax his strength at all, still in a semi-conscious state he kept repeating, “The hospital... not good…”

Ding Xiaowei reached up with both hands to grab his hand, breaking and pulling at his fingers to try to get him to let go.

That person still kept his strength for a while, like the final radiance of the setting sun, and then fainted again after a moment.

Only then did Ding Xiaowei breathe a sigh of relief. Touching the hand that had grasped his wrist, he suddenly felt that he touched something.

Ding Xiaowei lifted his hand up to take a look. Although the light was very dim, what still shone with a rare light in the night sky was a diamond, even a normal person could not be mistaken about it.

It was a diamond cufflink.

Ding Xiaowei’s heart was moved, he rolled up the man’s sleeve. Sure enough, he found a shiny diamond watch, which was ridiculously expensive at first glance.

Although all his life Ding Xiaowei had never worn clothes worth more than 300 yuan, thanks to his job, he knew a lot about valuable stones.

Although their company made jewelry out of artificial glass, the boss had a lot of foresight, and everything is designed to resemble big international brands, maybe it can’t actually be called design, but rather copying. The big brand was good, both beautiful and fashionable, with a search on the official website a bunch of pictures would show up.[20] He has worked in the company for so many years, yet has never seen genuine precious stones, but he has seen a lot of pictures of them. Be it sapphires, rubies, diamonds, ice jadeites, he can even name one or two of them. He clearly knew how much the brightness of artificial rhinestones differed from that of real diamonds.

Ding Xiaowei was excited, on the forehead of this strange, unlucky ghost[21] two big characters were suddenly engraved in golden, sparkling light: “big money”

He realized that he was picking up a treasure. Wasn't this the legendary rich man who was in need of help and would be so grateful as to hold up gold in both hands to repay his kindness?

He hurriedly picked up the man from the ground with all his strength, carried him on his shoulders, and walked staggeringly up the stairs.

Several of the couples on the beach looked at him in surprise and asked what was wrong.

Ding Xiaowei smiled awkwardly, saying,”My friend, my friend got drunk and hit his head.”

After spending a tremendous effort getting the person into the car, Ding Xiaowei’s intestines immediately afterwards turned green with regret.

He had forgotten that this man was covered in seawater mixed with sand and blood was still trickling out from his head. If the leather seats were ruined, how could he explain it to the boss?!

Now it was too late to try to get the person up again. Ding Xiaowei kicked the tire with his foot in regret.

Now it was too late to think about this. Ding Xiaowei got into the car and drove the person to his own neighborhood.

There was a clinic near his home, and the doctor lived upstairs. The old doctor liked Lingling very much, and Ding Xiaowei was also very familiar with him.

In fact, even if the person hadn't said it, Ding Xiaowei still didn't plan to take him to the hospital. He’d seen that his injury wasn’t very serious. Not only could he speak, but he could grab Ding Xiaowei’s wrist and almost break it, so he would be fine. Going to the hospital would be a really foolish way to spend money.

On the way there, Ding Xiaowei's mind couldn’t help but run out of control in a mad direction.

He began to speculate about the man’s identity.

After summing up his appearance, clothing, and the man’s bitter experience, he thought the man must be a duck[22].

One couldn’t blame him for thinking that people didn’t have good thoughts, in reality it was because his city’s service industry was too flourishing. It is said that on average there were more young masters hard pressed for money here than in other parts of the country. Even he had once been given an offer[23]. Only at that time he was a decent person, just living the simple and good life with wife, child, and a warm bed [cue the title 老婆孩子热炕头, idiom meaning ‘wife, child, and a warm bed’ aka ‘the simple and good life’], so how would he dare, even if he wanted to do it now, no one would want him at this age. So not only are there a lot of young masters in this city, but also lots of wealthy women with money and empty lives. The things in this person’s hands were most likely given by rich women.

Then the duck must have been caught by the rich woman's husband, beaten up, and thrown on the beach.

Forgive him for his lack of imagination, but a man who was so handsome and liked to dress up like he was going to a party, but was thrown at the beach with a hole in his head, except for the possibility he thought of, he really couldn’t guess what had happened.

Ding Xiaowei didn’t care what profession he was in, he had done his best to save him anyway, so when the time came, he would definitely and affectionately repay him. It would be enough to give him whatever he had, and he would be too embarrassed to ask for more.

Ding Xiaowei was a little excited, he couldn't help being a little greedy[24]. Wasn’t he doing a good deed? Maybe he could use this to improve his and Lingling's lives.

[1] As far as I understand, those two areas have a lot of Africans? Don’t take my word for it though.

[2] 黑人哥哥们儿 – struggled with this one, GT says “black buddy”, but that sounds too awkward, so going with “bro” instead

[3] kinda racist, I know, but please bear with it – DXW isn’t a bad guy overall, just a bit naïve and ignorant

[4] cue ironic - they’re definitely just joking with him

[5] bra size

[6] 花- flower can also mean woman – I guess typical guys’ talk about women here

[7] Be industrious

[8] providing for his child

[9] lit. ‘flower girls’, as in women as beautiful as flowers

[10] 大老婆- pretty sure this is some local saying of slang, but can’t find the meaning except ‘primary/official wife’ which plays on the fact that in the old days, men could have both an official wife and concubines, so changed it to fit the overall meaning

[11] changed the sentence a bit here – a more accurate translation might be ‘the Ding Xiaowei who does what he does’ - 幻想完了丁小伟还是那个该干嘛干嘛的丁小伟

[12] lit. rise early and go to bed late - 起早贪黑

[13] unregistered work paid in cash where the worker doesn’t pay tax

[14] lit. burning joss paper

[15] lit. bag of milk, but that might just sound weird to many readers - at least in my country you pretty much always buy milk in cartons.

[16] roughly the equivalent of cents in USD or EUR

[17] Not 100% sure, but think DXW is asking if he’s trying to cheat him

[18] idiom: what the eye doesn’t see the heart doesn’t grieve over

[19] still literally ‘black buddy’ here, but changed it to something that sounds more natural in English

[20] this sentence nearly killed me – Chinese grammar ah! Not sure I got the real meaning of it, so here’s the raw sentence if you want to check it yourself: 大牌好呀，又漂亮又时尚，官网一搜，图片一堆

[21] 鬼 isn’t necessarily a literal ghost, can also be a sort of demon. Here’s it’s just a phrase to describe the mysterious man

[22] 鸭子slang for male escort/prostitute

[23] I’m guessing it means Ding Xiaowei has been offered escort work once

[24] changed this sentence to make sense in the context – not sure I got it correct though. The original phrase is 不能乖他爱贪小便宜