V2C1

Parsed with an automated reader. The content accuracy is not guranteed.

I don’t think there’s anything

more pointless than writing about an otaku offline meeting, so I’ll just

summarize the situation up to this point.

I became a pig when I arrived

in Mestria, a country of sword and magic, and embarked on a grand oinking

adventure to reach its capital with a cute, angelic blonde girl called

Jess. But after our journey, I

reluctantly parted from her and went back to modern-day Japan.

When I returned, I resumed being

an ordinary otaku and even started to believe that the matters regarding

Mestria and Jess were but simply a dream.

However, it was by no means a

dream.

Because I met three glasses

otakus that claimed to have also experienced being transported to Mestria as pigs.

It’s a bad habit of otakus

that we call each other by our handle names instead of our actual names.

Let me introduce them to you.

The first guy is Sanon, he’s a

mechanical engineer. He’s bearded man in

his thirties, and is particularly fond of anime that feature young girls. He’s a kind but perverted otaku.

Next is Kento, he attends a

prestigious private boys’ high school.

His original handle name is †The Dark Knight Who Dances Till His Demise†

keNto, but let’s not delve into that.

Putting aside the uniqueness of his handle name, he’s just an ordinary, proper

otaku.

Lastly, there’s Hiropon, a

female medical student. I won’t get into

her dangerous-sounding name, but she’s someone that likes social games, tends

to laugh a lot, and is a princess-like otaku.

>TL Note: Hiropon (Philopon) is the brand name for methamphetamine

in Japan…

By the way, my handle name is

Loli Pork. To avoid any kind of

misunderstanding, I’d like to clarify how I got this name. I’m neither a young girl, nor pork chops. I’m just an insignificant science college

student. When I wrote my oinking

adventures in Mestria into a slightly naughty, flirtatious, fantasy in another

world novel and posted it online, I changed my Twitter handle to “Scrawny Pork,”

but it got shortened at some point and became “Loli Pork.” Lately, that got condensed further into

“Lolipo,” and this strange abbreviation seems to have slowly been adopted by my

readers.

>TL Note: ヒョロガリポーク (hyorogari pork) → ロリポーク (rori pork) → ロリポ (roripo)

Also, regarding the slightly

naughty, flirtatious, fantasy in another world story, now that I know Mestria

is real, I privated the novel online to protect the royal dynasty’s

secrets. As a final tribute, I sent it in

to a certain newcomer award contest, but its title is quite strange, so I doubt

it’ll win anything.

>TL Note: Fourth wall break. Heat the Pig Liver won the 26th Dengeki Novel

Prize “Gold Award” and didn’t get its title changed when it was published.

But I digress.

Sanon couldn’t forget about his

experience in Mestria, so he used his extraordinary searching skills and the

power of parfaits to call upon his kindreds, which led to us four glasses

otakus gathering. After several

meetings, we drafted a plan to be transferred back to Mestria.

And today is the day we

execute that plan.

…You’re wondering how we’re

going to be transferred? Well everyone,

no need to rush me.

We glasses otakus put our heads

together, combined our knowledge, deduced the principle behind transferring to

Mestria, and crafted a plan based on it.

Fundamentally, we believe that

the transferring of otakus began because of me.

When my consciousness was brought to Mestria, it seems like some kind of

magic trace was left behind. Ever since

then, if a nerdy glasses-wearing otaku lost consciousness at the station where

I collapsed from a stomach ache, the unusual incident of that person’s

consciousness possessing a pig from Mestria would occur. The result is that Hiropon, Sanon, and Kento were

transferred there. And when their pigs

died, they returned to modern Japan.

To put it simply, if we pass

out somewhere near the station again, our consciousness might be brought over

to Mestria!

Here’s the plan:

Hiropon’s father actually owns

the large hospital near the station in question. We were all taken to that hospital the last

time we each were transferred, so we’re going to take advantage of that fact.

We’ll be doing whatever it

takes. Hiropon will threaten her father

to re-examine his patients, who, like her, have been unconscious for an

abnormally prolonged period of time. Under

that pretext, the three of us, excluding her, will be each provided a bed. Hiropon will then use a genuine stun gun that

Sanon procured via suspicious means to make sure we faint. If we’re able to arrive in Mestria without

any problems and not wake up, her father will be held responsible for taking

care of us. This is the strategy we came

up with.

As a side note, it seems like

Hiropon was transferred to Mestria soon after I got food poisoning, but because

she didn’t have fond memories of there and didn’t want to leave her younger

sister, who had an uncertain future due to her incurable disease, she won’t be

participating in this re-transfer. However,

she’s a key person, as she agreed to and willingly became the cornerstone of our

unreasonable plan.

“Are you ready, Mr. Lolipo?”

While wearing a pair of rubber

gloves and holding the stun gun, Hiropon looked down at me lying on the

bed. She had a gentle expression on her

short bob hairstyle and red-glasses-wearing face; it didn’t suit what she was

about to do.

“Yeah, thanks.”

I squeezed my eyes shut, pressed the side of my head

against the pillow, and only thought about one thing.

─Jess.

Will I be able to see you?

None of the three who have transferred to Mestria

after me have seen, nor heard of any news regarding Jess. That’s not surprising since she’s at the

closed off capital. Her happy life as a

relative of the king should be just starting.

Darkness enveloped my eyelids, darkening my vision

further. I felt something press against

the back of my neck.

Jess.

Is it alright for me to meet you?

Is it okay for a scrawny four-eyed shitty virgin like

me to step back into such a wonderful girl’s life again…?

“You can’t…”

I heard the voice of a girl speaking Mestria’s

language.

I woke up. The

pain was only momentarily. As I wondered

where I was, I looked at my surroundings.

It was a dim place.

I felt mud on my cheeks. When I

inhaled, the pigpen’s mixture of scents stroked my olfactory epithelium. This means…

“Stop, if you lick that much, I’m going to be all

sticky…”

I listened to the voice that came from beyond the

haystack and stood up. Looking at my

feet, I saw two split pink hooves. It

was a nostalgic feeling.

Although it’s weird to be able to say this, I turned

into a pig without a hitch. After three

months, I’ve succeeded in becoming a pig in Mestria again. Be it my color vision or body senses,

everything seems to be as perfectly adapted as they were back when Jess healed

me. Her magic appears to still be in

effect.

I trotted on all fours towards the direction of the

voice, and the first thing I saw was a large black pig. A slender girl in a dark brown one-piece

dress was sitting on some hay, and the black pig was licking her cheeks like a

dog.

“Ah… it tickles… not the neck… hya…”

“Oink oink…”

That pig and girl’s playful voices resounded through

the pigpen.

Uh, what’s going on here? What am I looking at right now?

The girl that was being preyed on by the black pig

suddenly looked at me. She had short

blonde hair, a slender neck, a small face, and large eyes. On the corner of her right eye was a tear

mole, and around her neck was a dimly glowing silver collar.

“Snort.”

I tried to speak and ended up making an otaku

noise. Right, I forgot.

(…You’re Celes, right?)

I

used parentheses to indicate that this was my dialogue and silently conveyed it

to her. The other party is the same race

as Jess, a Yesma – it’s a race that can communicate via their thoughts without

using their mouths or ears. She serves

the innkeeper lady who ran the inn at the first village Jess and I had stopped

by during our journey.

Celes, who gave the impression

of being a timid girl, and whose cheeks were wet from pig saliva, appeared a

little surprised. The black pig

immediately settled down dejectedly.

Celes finally opens her mouth.

“Erm… you’re from back then…”

(Yeah.)

“Mr. Shitty Virgin, right?”

……

Well, she’s not wrong, so I’ll

let it go.

(That’s right. I’m the scrawny four-eyed shitty virgin that

was with Jess. Long time no see.)

The black pig that was

observing the situation turned his head towards Celes. She nodded at him.

“Yes. The Mister Pig over there is also… Right, that seems to be the case.”

The black pig’s mouth was half

open, making an obvious “oh fuck” expression.

Ah, I see.

(Sorry for asking you a favor

so soon after my greetings, Celes, but do you mind relaying our thoughts? I have something I want to say to that black

pig.)

Yesmas can relay other

people’s thoughts like a router. That’s

why, as long as a Yesma is around, even people who have turned into pigs that

can only oink are able to communicate with each other.

“Erm… Understood.”

Celes nodded at me. I stared straight at the black pig that had

stopped moving and bluntly asked him a question.

(Why were you so eagerly

licking a thirteen-year-old girl, Mr. Sanon?)

……

The black pig didn’t respond.

(Admit it, Mr. Sanon.

I can tell it’s you even if you’re pretending to be a pig.)

─Y-you’re wrong, oink…

I heard the guy’s voice in my head. His verdict: Guilty.

(How could I be wrong, oink?)

─No, um, it’s a

misunderstanding. It was an accident.

The black pig acted suspiciously while pleading with

me.

(Mind explaining to me how any of that was an accident?)

─I didn’t do it on

purpose. My tongue just accidentally

touched her a little, I definitely wasn’t licking her eagerly…

Do you really think it’s possible to accidentally lick

a girl until her face is all sticky and wet?

(No matter how you look at it, there’s no way this was

on the level of just an accident.)

I looked at Celes.

Her fine strands of short hair were clinging to her face due to pig

saliva. She had a troubled expression as

she smiled with an “Ehe.”

─It’s that thing. You know, a pig’s habits…

It’s an excuse that I heard from somewhere else before,

and it left me dumbfounded, so I gave up arguing.

(There’s a lot I want to say, but… for the time being,

it looks like we managed to arrive in Mestria without any issues.)

As I conveyed that, the black pig’s ears twitched.

─That’s true… Although I was certain that Mr. Lolipo

would’ve been transferred to where Jess-taso was…

This incoherently speaking black pig was Sanon.

I was told that this lolicon bastard was previously

transferred near Celes. Since she was

here this time around as well when he was transferred, it’s reasonable for him to

assume that I, who was transferred near Jess last time, would also be where

Jess is this time too. For some reason, the

situation where I also arrived close to Celes was outside of his expectations.

Of course, this was unexpected for me as well.

I wasn’t transferred to Jess’ side. I won’t be able to meet her just yet…

Well, it can’t be helped. It’s not like my purpose for coming back was so

I could wholeheartedly lick Jess-taso.

And of course, it’s also not so I could lick Celes-taso. I returned to Mestria because I had left

behind some unfinished business.

According to Sanon and the others when I was eating my

parfait during the offline meeting in Japan, the situation in Mestria had

completely changed after I left, and it was thrown into an unprecedented

chaos. It was during this time that a

hero stepped forward to save the Yesmas who have been forced to bear such cruel

fates.

It was none other than the handsome huntsman, Nott.

We came back to help Nott and save the Yesma girls.

So I didn’t return for the sake of enjoying a

flirtatious fantasy story with Jess. Honestly. You all believe me, right? Who’d want to get all lovey-dovey again with

a cute blonde girl whom they had a tearful goodbye with? It’s not like I’m an otaku that has fallen in

love. It would be nice if we were to

meet – that’s the extent I’m willing to admit.

Well, with any luck, we’ll probably meet each other again somewhere in

this country.

I felt a gaze on me and turned around before realizing

Celes was watching me. The air in the

dim pigpen felt suffocatingly stagnant.

At this time, I still didn’t know how many twists and

turns were on the path to being reunited with Jess.

We checked the other pigs one by one, but Kento, who

should have arrived with us, was nowhere to be found. Although I was concerned about where he could

have gone, we had to worry about ourselves first. It’s good that a familiar face found us, but

the place we woke up in was Bapsas, the village where I met Celes for the first

time. It’s a peaceful village nestled in

the southern forest, far from the frontstage of Mestria. Let alone Jess, even Nott was no longer here.

Our first objective was to borrow Celes’ strength and

reunite with Nott. That was the plan.

…But before that, we had something else to take care

of. We pigs were covered in mud. And even though we’re pigs, as the bare

minimum etiquette for receiving skinship with a cute girl, we had to keep our

bodies as clean as possible.

Therefore, we decided to have Celes lead us to a

stream to take a bath. It was autumn season

in Mestria – the grass had withered and turned golden yellow, glistening under

the afternoon sun.

Jess and I had arrived at the capital three months ago

during the summer when the greenery was still lush.

I was told that on that day, after Nott separated from

us at the Forest of Needles surrounding the capital, he successfully killed the

muscular guy whom he held a grudge against.

“But Mr. Nott didn’t immediately return.”

Celes dipped just her feet into the stream as she

scooped up some water with her hands and carefully washed her nape while

explaining.

“I heard he was attacked by assassins on the way

back…”

We discussed Mestria’s current state of affairs while washing

ourselves.

(It sounds like the big guy that Nott killed was an

important figure in the underworld.)

“Yes. It seems

like even the royal dynasty kept tabs on him as he was the leader of the

underworld. He was known as En the Dismemberer

and was very influential. That’s why Mr.

Nott ended up being chased by those from the underworld.”

>TL Note: King of Hell (En) - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yama_(Buddhism)

You’re quite familiar with this, I thought.

While bathing in the water, Sanon the black pig

conveyed this to us.

─No-kun continued to flee

while avoiding the ruffians’ relentless pursuit, but running away wasn’t all he

did. During his escape travels, he

gathered companions that also hated the Yesma hunters and would sometimes fight

against his pursuers… After overcoming

many deadly battles, he became a household name as a hero in less than a month.

The battles between Nott and his assassins would

engulf their surroundings and end up rapidly escalating the situation.

While I was doing my otaku activities when I returned

to Japan, that handsome guy was accomplishing an unbelievable feat behind the

scenes. Why was there such a wide gap

between us? Complacency and difference

in environment…

(Nott formed the Liberation Army after that, right?)

When I confirmed it with Celes, she nodded.

“After the battles became evenly matched and the

situation stabilized, Mr. Nott finally returned here. But during this time, the underworld’s

actions became more and more radical… so to push back against it, he founded

the Liberation Army.”

A single attack from a young man can lead to a massive

conflict that involves the entire country.

Perhaps the gathering of the underworld’s forces was brought

about in an attempt to kill Nott. In the

northern region, which was already a hotbed of ruffians, a gem merchant by the

name of Arogan proclaimed himself to be the new king and declared independence

from the royal dynasty’s ruling. The

northern region is now under the control of the Northern Forces, which is comprised

of underworld ruffians.

And Nott, being who he is, formed the Liberation Army to

fight for the Yesmas with the support of his comrades and the populace. As a result, the three forces in Mestria –

the royal dynasty, the Northern Forces, and the Liberation Army, were in a

deadlock, creating a three-way standoff situation.

(That’s when Mr. Sanon arrived.)

The black pig turned to face us.

─Yeah. I collapsed from overwork, and when I woke

up, I met an angelic lo-… girl, and discovered I became a pig. That’s how we met, Cele-tan, right?

When the black pig snuggled up against Celes, she

shyly petted him. His tail danced with

joy.

“Yes. Mr. Sanon

listened to my selfish wish and came with me to where Mr. Nott-, no, where the

Liberation Army was. After that, we

acted as members of the Liberation Army for a while.”

I often heard Sanon talk about those times, and how he

made full use of his little grey cells to support Nott as a member of the

Liberation Army. Of course, judging by

his unusual expression of affection towards Celes, his mind wasn’t the only

thing that was active. I had no doubts about

him having thoroughly enjoyed his life in another world with a girl that was

less than half his age…

>TL Note: “Little grey cells” is a phrase from the

fictional detective Hercule Poirot.

However, his activities ended in under a month.

(During this time, there was the battle at the Rocklands,

right?)

Celes hung her head with a gloomy expression.

“Yes. The

Liberation Army lost the battle against the Northern Forces and everyone was scattered.”

Her eyes slowly shifted towards the black pig.

“I thought for sure Mr. Sanon died in the battle at

the Rocklands, but…”

─The pig certainly died,

but my consciousness was able to return to Mestria. No matter how many times this body may die, my

soul will forever follow Cele-tan, so everything’s alright!

The black pig shook his body to fling off the

water. It didn’t seem like he was alright

to me.

Well, whatever.

Let’s return to the subject at hand.

(Hey, Celes. Nott

was captured during the battle at the Rocklands, right?)

She slowly nodded at my question.

“Yes. Mr. Nott

is currently being held captive by the Northern Forces… I heard he’s been forced to become an arena

gladiator.”

It’s the same as what the Dark Knight Who Dances-,

correction, what Kento explained before.

After Sanon returned to Japan, Kento appeared to have

inhabited the body of a pig being raised by a Yesma called Nuris near the Northern

royal castle. While Nott became a slave

for the people’s entertainment and his life was being toyed with, the Northern

royal castle attempted to enlist Nuris.

But when the Dark Knight Who Dances Till His Demise stood up against

them, he was killed and sent back to Japan.

He then met Sanon and me, and informed us about the situation

in the north. Though his current

whereabouts are unknown, since he tried transferring here with us, he’s

probably somewhere in Mestria.

After bathing, our previously mud-covered bodies came

out of the stream all cleaned up, and we dried ourselves in the autumn breeze which

faintly carried the sweet fragrance of the forest.

Celes gently sat on a rock by the riverbank and gazed

at the northern sky. Her eyes moistened

in the wind. I approached her while

glancing at the black pig who was innocently chasing a butterfly – he was

probably overjoyed at being freed from being a corporate slave.

(Celes… I’m sorry. This all happened because I took Nott with

us…)

In response to my apology, she lightly shook her head

as if she had already given up.

“It’s not Mister Pig’s fault. Mr. Nott has always dreamed of changing

Mestria in this way. He was destined to

leave, sooner or later.”

Celes looked at me attentively.

“Um…”

(What’s wrong?)

“How is Ms. Jess doing?”

(Ah. With

Nott’s help, we managed to make it to the capital safely. Jess should be living happily over there.)

For whatever reason, I wasn’t in the mood to say

much. I-It’s not like I was shocked

about not being able to meet Jess or anything like that, you got it?

“Oh… I’m sorry!

Um, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.”

She read my monologue!

Speaking of which, this was that kind of world, wasn’t it?

(Don’t worry about it…

Oh right, I know the trick to getting into the capital, so once you turn

sixteen, I’ll help you enter it.)

“To the capital…

Yeah, it’ll be reassuring with Mr. Shitty Virgin around.”

Is that way of addressing me already set in stone…? While I was thinking about that, the black

pig suddenly approached me and snorted loudly.

─No, Cele-tan has plans to

live together with No-kun and me. Ok???

(Okay… Well, that works too…)

Although Sanon in many ways is kind of, you know… he’s

still a kind guy with integrity, and quite smart too. Since he said that, it might not be a bad

idea to leave Celes up to him.

After all, I have someone el-

─There’s only one thing

left for us to do now. Mr. Lolipo, you

should know what it is as well.

Sanon’s voice resounded in my head, snapping me out of

it. Did he notice the uneasiness in my

heart?

I nodded firmly and dispelled those dark thoughts.

Just as there was a good reason for why I was

transferred to Jess last time, there must be a reason why I was transferred to

Celes instead of Jess this time. The one

who needs help the most right now isn’t Jess. It’s Nott – the guy who became a gladiator in

the north and whose life is being toyed with, and Celes – whose loved one was

pulled away because of a shitty pig, resulting in them being separated.

(Of course. Let’s

go rescue Nott alongside Celes.)

＊＊＊

As soon as I raised my eyelids, the midday sunlight

scorched my eyes.

The sandy arena was extremely large. Thousands of ruthless spectators sat in the stone-built

audience seats that formed a slope. Today

was a clear blue sky. In front of me

were – that’s good, it’s not humans this time – three lions, baring their fangs

and roaring, chained up and waiting.

Though the arena is kept clean and tidy, people die

here every day. The dry sand on this

wooden stage is replaced after the performance is over, and they discard the

sand that’s been soaked in blood.

I came face-to-face with the lions inside the dry

arena. A low-pitched bell rang, and I

could hear the sound of their chains becoming undone. A deafening cry echoed through the

arena. Were they bellows, or perhaps

cheers?

My left hand didn’t move. I held one of my twin daggers with my right

hand and took a fighting stance.

Beasts are but lumps of meat before a huntsman.

“Sure enough, that was amazing! You were so cool, Master!”

A cheerful fourteen-year-old boy beamed from the other

side of the gold-plated cage. His name’s

Bart. He happily brought over the fodder

for this prisoner that could die at any moment.

Today’s a clump of husk-filled grains.

I silently grabbed it and sank my teeth into it. I haven’t eaten in a day.

“When you were being trampled on, I thought, even for

Master, it was all over. However! I couldn’t have imagined that the blade you tucked

underneath your arm would pierce the lion’s foot! That must’ve meant you read your opponent’s

movements, right? I must say, that move

made me feel pretty disgusting.”

He’s a chatty guy, almost like a puppy. I was told his job was to feed the prisoners

in the basement of the arena. He seemed

to like me a lot and would often talk to me.

It’s not like I had anyone else to talk to, so it didn’t bother me. As I swallowed the grains, the husks

scratched against my esophagus.

“A huntsman’s skill is defined by how far he can

predict a beast’s movements. For that

reason, it’s important to accumulate a lot of experience to be able to go up

against any number of different animals.

Keep at least this in mind if you want to be able to stand on your own.”

Bart’s eyes sparkled.

“I see! Master

sure is amazing.”

His response remained unchanged. It made me wonder how well he actually

understood my advice. He seemed to be

around the same age as Celes, but at that age, I think girls are more

thoughtful than this.

“Hurry up and get back to work. If you keep dawdling around this cage, you’ll

end up rousing unwarranted suspicions.”

“Got it! I’ll

see you tomorrow, Master!”

Bart grinned and skipped like a rabbit as he

disappeared into the darkness. I was

pulled back into the pitch-black solitude again.

This was the arena basement. Slaves like me are confined here until

death. The sun doesn’t reach here, and

rats scurry across the cold damp floor.

The only light around here comes from lanterns; the only way to tell

time is by sensing the presence of the prison guards who bring the slaves to

the stage, and by hearing the commotion caused by the audiences above. It’s a dark and damp place made of wood,

stone, and iron. My cage alone is

ironically decorated with gold. For some

reason, I appear to be given special treatment.

Since Bart left and I finished the fodder, there was

nothing left for me to do as my eyelids drooped down.

“Get up.”

As I laid on the floor about to doze off, I heard a

low female voice. I plucked the pebble

stuck on my arm and peered into the darkness outside the cage.

She was a girl with long blonde hair. She looked to be fifteen or sixteen, and was

dressed in dirty rags. She had thin

limbs, freckled cheeks, and emotionless eyes.

She wore a silver collar. She’s a

Yesma.

“…What is it?”

“I’ve been ordered to take you with me.”

“On whose order?”

“The new king’s.”

“King?”

“Yes.”

“Who are you?

Why is Arogan asking for me?”

“I am Nuris. I

am one of the Yesmas working in this arena.

I just happened to be ordered, so I don’t know the new king’s

intentions.”

She coldly spoke in an emotionless and indifferent

tone. She didn’t seem to be lying.

Nuris inserted a yellow rista into a rusty and

heavy-looking chain and shackles before dropping it over here through the cage’s

gaps. The shackles slid across the floor

and restrained my hands and feet from where I sat.

“I will guide you to the castle,” she said while

unlocking the cage with the key that was linked to the shackles.

I dragged my chains across the dark path and was

forced into a carriage just like that. The

Northern streets had few pedestrians and gave off a gloomy feel. Through the iron-barred window, I spotted a house

whose plaster, which must have been a soft color, had peeled off, revealing the

earthy color walls underneath. Nuris sat

opposite of me and maintained her expressionless freckled face as she

wordlessly gazed at the scenery outside.

I doubt this was a pleasant job.

It didn’t take long for the Northern

royal castle to come into view. The Ground

Spider Castle. It’s a sturdy stone

castle built atop a barren mountain with deformed towers haphazardly built from

wood and clay. After climbing the barren

mountain, the carriage passed through a black gate and entered the castle. I was dragged off the carriage and led

through the corridor by Nuris before stopping in front of a large iron door.

“My job here is done.”

Nuris said formally and stepped aside.

The door opened, and two prison guards with leather

masks covering their faces led me inside.

“Raise your head.”

I heard a hoarse voice and turned to look at its

owner.

An emaciated man sat on a stone throne. He had dry and grey skin, eyes so sunken that

they could hardly be seen, and wore a silver crown that looked like it was

stuck to his temple. It was like a mummy

being forced to dress up.

“You should have died in agony. But you’re tougher than I expected. You’re still alive.”

“Does it bother you?”

“Of course not.

You’ll only prolong your suffering before death.”

The shoulders of the new king Arogan shook as he

laughed unpleasantly. It was like he was

having a convulsion and a coughing fit at the same time.

“However, it won’t do to keep this as is. It’s been exactly a month since you arrived

here. I can’t have you becoming the

arena’s hero, now can I?”

“What are you planning?”

As I said that, Arogan pointed to the side using the

long staff in his hand.

The door opened, and I could see into the next

room. There was a strangely reclined

chair full of protrusions. It was a

torture chair. It’s something that holds

a person in place with restraints and continues to inflict pain on the target through

its physical shape and via rista magic without injuring them.

I could feel my arms convulse like they were having a

seizure as they were being held by the guards.

Standing next to the chair was a tall old man in a

grey robe and hood that covered his eyes.

He gave the impression of being a shadow. A piercing gaze came from the pair of golden

eyes glowing beyond this shadow.

I was carried into the next room and tied to the

torture chair. The shadowy old man

peered at my face, but all I could see was his long nose and golden eyes.

A low and terrifying voice came from underneath the

hood.

“Now then, Nott, leader of the Liberation Army, just

how much pain can you endure?”

＊＊＊

─That being said, I’m

quite envious of you.

Sanon directed that at me while we were en route

towards the mountain behind the village.

We had accepted Celes’ request to help her find something.

(Er, envious of what?)

─Mr. Lolipo’s nickname,

you know, “scrawny four-eyed shitty virgin.”

(It’s a pretty degrading nickname that I accidentally

established when I called myself that… What’s

there worth envying?)

─Wrong. Isn’t it quite rare to have an innocent girl

call you a shitty virgin?

Celes, who was relaying the otakus’ pointless

conversation, suddenly tilted her head.

“Um, is it good thing to be called a shitty virgin by

a girl…?”

An awkward silence followed after an innocent

thirteen-year-old girl asked us that.

(There are some otakus in the world that would enjoy

being scolded by girls.)

Confused, Celes tilted her head further at my

explanation.

“Eh…? Scolded…? Is ‘shitty virgin’ a bad word?”

I seemed to have dug my own grave. I turned to Sanon for help, and he nodded

confidently.

─Cele-tan, it doesn’t mean

something bad, but there are times where it can come across as bad. There’s nothing wrong with calling this guy a

shitty virgin, so there’s no problem for you to worry about.

…? Forget

it. Since I do call myself that, I’ll

have to accept his point.

Just when I figured the topic would end here, another

question came up in Celes’ mind and she asked, “By the way, what exactly makes

someone happy when they’re scolded by a girl?”

Urk. This girl

is a lot trickier than I expected. Would

you be able to provide a specific and logical explanation as to why you would enjoy

being scolded by a girl?

“Specifically what… huh.”

I handed off the onus of explaining things to Sanon

again.

─To scold someone,

Cele-tan, is to establish an asymmetrical relationship where there’s a scolder

and a scolded. There’s a clear hierarchy

in this relationship, which, in other words, makes it a domination relationship. As long as they are dominated, they are free

from all expectations and responsibilities.

And by being dominated by someone that they long for – a girl – a guy

can bask in the fundamental desire of a man being cared for by a girl, while

also reveling in the feeling of being liberated from the stress that they endure

every day. That’s why they enjoy it.

After hearing an otaku’s fast-talk explanation, Celes

pondered for a bit.

“Then… should I also be scolding Mr. Sanon as well?”

─I agree with that. I’d happily-

(Nonono, let’s forget about that. After all, it’s not in Celes’ character to be

scolding people, right?)

“That’s true,” Celes smiled and agreed whereas the

black pig snorted in dissatisfaction.

That being said, his explanation was quite

incisive. Is Sanon the type of person

that’s into this sort of thing? Well,

it’s not like I have the right to say anything since I oinked from excitement

when Jess called me a pig…

While we were having this conversation, we arrived at

the monastery ruins. This was once the

Bapsas monastery, but after the fire, only the stone foundation and parts of

the destroyed walls remained.

(So what are you looking for, Celes?)

At my question, she averted her eyes briefly before

responding.

“Erm… I’m not sure what I’m looking for.”

Hm?

“It’s something that Mr. Nott hid when he first

returned to Bapsas. He said it was

something important, and that I should dig it up if he were to disappear…”

─So this was before I even

met Cele-tan. Do you know where it’s

roughly located at?

With a lack of confidence, Celes pointed at the grassland

next to the monastery in response to Sanon’s question.

“It should be somewhere there.”

─Any markers?

“Um… I forgot.

There probably isn’t one. That’s

why I wanted to ask Mister Pigs to help me find it.”

She forgot?

(Without any clues, it’ll be hard to find it in a

meadow like this. Can you remember

anything?)

“Mr. Nott’s hands were smeared in dirt… so I believe

he must have buried it in the ground with his hands…”

That’s a pretty weird clue. I guess it’s fine, it might serve to help us

find it.

(Okay, so Nott must’ve buried it. As for when he first came back…)

“It was about two months ago.”

…Then it might be difficult to find via burying traces

or Nott’s scent.

─Mr. Lolipo, let’s start

by performing a pig wave attack and sweep across the meadow.

>TL Note: Human wave attack, except they’re pigs,

so it’s a pig wave attack.

I nodded at Sanon’s suggestion. It was evening already, so it won’t be long

before it gets dark.

Doubts arose while I was searching. Isn’t it odd that Nott told Celes to dig it

up if he were to disappear, but she forgot about the most crucial marker? Yet she appears to remember it was located

around the meadow next to the monastery ruins.

What kind of half-baked memory is this?

Not to mention, Celes doesn’t even know what the

important treasure is. Why didn’t he

tell her what is it?

Something didn’t sit right with me.

I should put that aside and stop nitpicking. I owe Celes, so let’s focus on figuring out

its burial spot.

Nott came to the monastery ruins in order to hide

“something important.” This place burned

down five years ago, and as a result, his loved one – Ys, was kidnapped and

murdered…

I get it now.

He chose this location which held a special meaning to him as his hiding

spot. The monastery ruins is quite far

from the village hub. Since he came all

the way here, wouldn’t it be more fitting for him to choose a symbolic place rather

than some random grass patch as the spot for burying something?

I tried looking around

us. This meadow was facing the monastery

ruins.

(Hey, Celes. Is

there anything left of the monastery ruins that carries traces from the past?)

She came over to me and replied, “Hm… it hasn’t been

used in a long time, but there’s an underground passageway that leads to the

village.”

(No, that’s not what I meant… I’m asking if there’s something that could

act as a marker for hiding things. Even

a trace will do.)

“In that case, it could be…”

Celes trotted towards the monastery ruins. Sanon and I followed suit.

“I was told nothing survived the fire from five years

ago. It was as if everything had been

burned down by magic… but this tile-”

As she said that, Celes pointed at a square stone tile

that was about 50 centimeters wide.

There were similar tiles strewn elsewhere, but this was the only one with

a circular mark left on it.

“It’s said that someone’s collar fell here and wasn’t

burned away, so only the spot where the collar covered remained

unscorched. Other than that, there’s not

much worth mentioning…”

I see. Although

it doesn’t meet the condition of Nott having buried it in the ground with his

hands, it’s worth a shot.

(Mr. Sanon, would you be capable of removing this

tile?)

The black pig nodded.

─The tile next to it is

gone, so it should be possible to move it to the side with No-kun’s or a pig’s

strength.

Sanon pushed against the tile with his big nose.

Pigs are animals that dig up dirt with their

snouts. They carry enough strength to

easily create holes in even the hardest soil.

The tile rumbled as it loosened. It grinded against the fine gravel and was

smoothly moved aside. Then-

(Celes, look!

There’s something there!)

The dirt that should have been underneath the tile was

instead a deep hole, and in it contained a jar of some sort.

Celes’ eyes widened and approached the hole before

carefully taking the jar out with her slender arms.

“This is…”

The white porcelain jar had a lid on it. The container was stout shaped, but the upper

part was slightly shrunken and had a pitch-black loop around it.

I had a bad feeling about this.

(Is this…?)

“It’s… a collar.

It’s someone’s… It’s a Yesma’s

silver collar.”

─Cele-tan, I think it’s

best not to open that lid.

However, Celes still placed the jar on the ground and

opened its lid.

We peeked inside.

It contained white ashes and some obvious bone fragments.

Looking unnerved, Celes placed the lid back on. The porcelain rubbed against each other, creating

a whinny-like noise.

“I-I’m so sorry.

I was curious, so I couldn’t help myself…”

Is this cremation urn the thing Nott hid? Judging by this blackened collar… the bones

belonged to a Yesma.

(May I take a closer look at it?)

I informed them before moving my face close to the

collar.

Suddenly-

As if it had been submerged in a reducing agent, the

blackened collar instantly regained its silvery luster.

I took a step back in surprise.

(Sorry, what did I…?)

Celes looked at me with her large eyes.

“This collar…

It was probably worn by someone that Mr. Shitty Virgin knew of.”

(How can you tell?)

“Once a collar has lost its bearer, it will only

regain its luster if someone adored by the Yesma who wore that collar comes

near it…”

I shuddered.

Don’t tell me Jess… No, that’s

impossible. That’s because her collar

was split in half in front of me…

In other words, by process of elimination, this silver

collar-

(I believe this belonged to a girl named Brace. She’s a Yesma whom we met during our travels,

and just before arriving at the capital, she lost her life at the Forest of

Needles.)

She was a taciturn girl that liked to pray and had big

breasts.

(Nott likely brought her collar and ashes back, and

buried them here.)

Celes remained silent for some time, possibly out of

shock, before muttering “I see…”

“Mr. Nott likes women with big breasts.”

She lowered her head and her gaze traced her upper

body that lacked curves down to the tips of her feet.

I didn’t understand what she meant until I realized,

she read my monologue!

(T-that’s not it, Celes! Nothing happened between Nott and Brace…)

“I-I’m sorry… Um, I get it. Sorry for… saying something so strange.”

While Celes apologized to me with her ears red, Sanon

asked.

─What do we do with this,

Cele-tan? Do we take it back to the inn?

Hearing this, she vaguely shook her head while

appearing a bit troubled.

Now I understand.

Judging by her confusion, it doesn’t look like this

urn needed to be dug up. I had something

I needed to confirm with her.

(Hey Celes, I was wondering about this, but… Nott

never actually told you to dig it up if he were to disappear, did he?)

─Um, Mr. Lolipo.

Sanon tried to stop me, but I persisted regardless.

(We’re your companions, Celes. I’m sure we’ll be sharing many secrets with

you from now on as well, so let’s not lie to each other. I won’t be mad, so can you tell me the

truth? You spied on Nott hiding

something around here and you got curious, so you wanted to find it, right?)

After a while, she nodded.

“…Yes. After

Mr. Nott left with Jess and Mister Pig, things got very serious, and when he

was finally able to return to Bapsas… he was furtively carrying something, so I

asked him what it was. He then told me

‘It’s something important, but it’s better that you don’t know about it.’ …It bothered me, so… I secretly followed

him. I spotted him standing near the

grass over there, but I was worried Mr. Rossi would notice me… so I…”

Nott had his dog partner, Rossi, with him. Celes must’ve ran back in a panic because it seemed

like Rossi was going to notice her. When

Nott returned, his hands were dirty from soil, so she tried searching the

meadow. However, she couldn’t find

anything because it was hidden under a tile.

─I get it. If the person you love is hiding something,

you’ll naturally worry about it.

Sanon tried to smooth things over.

“I-It’s not because of love or anything! It’s just that, when I think about how I

might never see Mr. Nott again, I get scared…

I wanted something connected to him, even if it was ever so slightly, so

I… I’m so sorry, I… lied so Mister Pigs

would help out…”

Celes’ eyes filled with tears.

(You don’t have to apologize. I understand how you feel.)

When I found out Jess was hiding something from me,

how restless was my heart? When Jess and

Nott were alone at the inn where Celes worked at, how did I feel?

Celes kept denying it, but I know the truth behind

those helpless emotions. Even if you

tell yourself not to worry about it, there are just some things that you can’t

do.

That’s why I must help Celes.

We placed the urn and collar back under the tile.

When we returned to the inn that had no guests, Celes’

mistress was there to greet us.

“I didn’t expect Mr. Sanon to return – and with Jess’

pig, no less.”

She was a plump redhead lady called Martha. She was also the mastermind behind hiding the

Yesmas in the monastery five years ago.

She appears to know Sanon very well, but I don’t believe we spoke to

each other at all when we last met, so I carefully avoided the words “shitty

virgin” and introduced myself.

Despite her gentle demeanor, Martha clearly denied our

request to take Celes to Nott.

“It’s not happening.

I understand how you feel, but I can’t leave Celes with you again.”

Celes’ shoulders dropped in dismay in front of Martha,

who had crossed her arms.

“It’s not because I have a problem with it… Of course, I also don’t want to put Celes in

danger again, but at the end of the day, a Yesma is supposed to be bound to the

‘house’ that she serves until she’s sixteen.

This is part of the contract with the royal dynasty. As long as this house still stands, it’s

normally not possible for Celes to leave her job and travel far away. I lost to Sanon’s enthusiasm last time and

ended up agreeing, but… there won’t be a second time.”

Celes hung her head and was more withdrawn than

usual. We weren’t able to come up with

anything persuasive enough to convince Martha either.

─Thank you. Let’s head back to my room.

Celes conveyed that to us and guided us two pigs to

her room.

Her bedroom was the corner room of the inn, and it was

much cleaner than the guest room that Jess had stayed in before. Although it didn’t contain much, there were some

neatly arranged girlish and fashionable furnishings.

The moment she entered her room, Celes walked straight

towards her bed and dove head first onto it with a thwump.

The pig and black pig silently exchanged glances.

Even without Celes’ help, we knew what each other

wanted to say. She couldn’t leave

Bapsas. In which case, why did we arrive

here? To become a thirteen-year-old

girl’s baby-sitter?

“Uu…”

A muffled voice broke the quiet atmosphere in the

room.

It felt really awkward, but leaving the room wouldn’t

do either. I would’ve liked for us two to

have a conversation to mask Celes’ voice, but unfortunately, we couldn’t talk.

“Oink?”

“…Oink.”

As expected, it was no good. We couldn’t have a conversation.

I then noticed Celes sit up and turn towards us. Her tears appeared to have been absorbed by

the pillow, but her large eyes were red from hyperaemia.

“It might be a boring story, but… would you two be

willing to listen to it…?”

(Sure, tell us.)

─Of course I’ll listen.

We responded.

Celes slowly opened her trembling lips.

“Um… it’s something that happened five years ago, when

I just came here. At the time, I was

only eight years old. I was in an

unfamiliar place, I wasn’t good at work, I was always nervous, and I kept

causing trouble for everyone.”

(That’s only natural.

Or rather, it’s abnormal for someone to be working at the age of eight.)

Celes lightly turned her head before continuing.

“I was a nuisance.

Everyone laughed at me and called me a skeleton or tree branch because I

was thin and bony. I was… really sad.”

She suddenly started monologuing, and I could only

listen fixedly.

“Then one day, a man returned to the village. He brought back the abducted Ms. Ys’ collar,

and gifted it to Martha-sama.”

I didn’t need to ask who he was. He’s the pride of this village, and currently

the revolution’s hero – Nott.

“When we first met, Mr. Nott told me, ‘Your eyes

remind me of the person I liked’ before roasting some delicious rabbit meat for

me. ‘But you’re too skinny, your boobs

won’t grow like that.’ He said after.”

Don’t you think you like boobs way too much, young

man?

“Ever since I met Mr. Nott, the people in the village looked

at me differently. Everyone began doting

on me. Mr. Nott is a hero. He’s the subject of conversations, and someone

that determines the atmosphere. I’m sure

it’s because he cared for me that everyone else did the same.”

Celes’ voice began to tremble again after finally

managing to calm down.

“Ever since then, I’ve always admired Mr. Nott. I know that as a Yesma, and as a child, I

don’t have the right to fall in love.

But I can’t forget about Mr. Nott…

Even though he’s somewhere far away and could die at any moment, there’s

nothing I can do here…”

She looked straight into my eyes.

“I can’t stand this.”

Celes abruptly ended her monologue, and after a wave

of tears, she fell asleep from the exhaustion of crying.