Chapter 8

It has been a month since the engagement was dissolved, on a certain day.

After finishing work and having dinner, I was about to read a book in my room when my father stopped me and led me to his study.

I sat down on the sofa in the study, and the butler, Marc, prepared tea and then left the room. The cookies served were made by the housemaid, Dorothea. She is an excellent woman who handles everything from cleaning and laundry to cooking.

“What’s the matter? You look so serious… Is it something to do with the Tostman family?”

When I pointed this out, my father, who sat next to me, smiled a little, looking troubled. In his hand was an envelope with a white background and a red rose drawn on it.

The logs in the fireplace behind him crackled.

“A letter has arrived for you from the Tostman Viscount’s son. I haven’t read it, but what do you want to do? I can read it if you want.”

“I’ll read it. I don’t expect anything good.”

I received the unusually thick envelope and a letter opener and cut the seal on the table in front of the sofa. The letter consisted of several sheets of paper, and I sighed at the thickness.

I began to read the words, which were not particularly neat. Although the letter was long, it was overly decorated, and I had to sift through it to find the necessary words.

“What does it say?”

“There are a lot of unnecessary words, but in summary, it says ‘I will make you my mistress.’”

“…What?”

My father’s anger intensified. I smiled wryly and threw the letter onto the table.

I wanted to throw it into the flickering fireplace, but I restrained myself, thinking it was a good thing.

“I don’t hate you. I believe we can build a good relationship. You can get along well with Kiera. I want you to become my second wife, but it doesn’t mean I love you less. I also need your family’s support for the Tostman family. …That’s about it.”

“That damn brat—”

“Watch your mouth.”

While my father’s face was red with anger, my heart was cold. More than cold, I was repulsed. Perhaps I would feel angry later, but right now, I felt only disgust. It was chilling.

“What kind of person does he think he is, offering to make you a second wife? Bigamy isn’t recognized, so he’s offering to make you a mistress?”

“I’ll inform the Tostman territory that we won’t supply our goods. I can’t stay silent after being treated like this.”

“Calm down.”

It’s strange how one can remain calm when someone else is more angry. I calmed my father, who seemed ready to storm out of the room, and tucked a strand of my light green hair behind my ear.

“Has the Tostman Viscount said anything?”

“He has asked if we can re-engage after breaking off the engagement with the Fritsche Baron’s daughter. I have refused all of his requests.”

“Please continue to refuse. I will write a refusal letter in response to this letter. …But please keep the protests to a minimum.”

My father was speechless at my words.

He and my brother were probably planning a grand protest and retaliation.

“I am the one being disrespected by Felix Tostman, not the Bloom family. If this escalates, we’ll have to reconsider, but I hope it doesn’t come to that.”

“Our family is being disrespected, and we can’t let it go.”

“The one talking about a mistress is Felix Tostman, not the Tostman family. But when you refuse them, please let them know what their son said.”

“Of course, but—”

“It’s just their son acting out. If the Tostman family can’t control him, I’ll rely on you and my brother.”

My father, still frowning, nodded reluctantly, not hiding his displeasure.

“I’ll write the response in my room. Can you send it to the Tostman family tomorrow?”

“Sure. …Alicia, I’m sorry. I didn’t expect the engagement to turn out like this.”

“I didn’t expect it either, and I don’t think the Tostman family did either. So there’s no need for you to worry.”

I placed the untouched tea and plate of cookies on the tray. My father added another plate to the tray for himself.

“Eat in your room.”

“Thank you. I’ll enjoy them without hesitation.”

Taking advantage of the fact that my hands were full with the tray, I left the envelope and letter on the table. My father would take care of them, and I didn’t want to bring such things into my room. I felt bad about it, but—

Back in my room, I placed the tray on my writing desk. The tea, though cold, was still delicious. I sipped it to moisten my throat and took a cookie. The middle of the cookie was filled with a cute, red strawberry jam, made by Dorothea.

The crispy texture and the subtle sweetness of the jam went well together. Yes, it was delicious.

I quickly finished the plate of cookies, took a deep breath, and opened a drawer. I took out a set of plain white paper and envelope.

I have more decorative ones, but this one is fine for this letter.

I will not be your mistress.

For both our sakes, I hope you will stop sending letters.

I wrote this politely but without unnecessary words, making sure the intention to reject was clear. …Would it be understood? I hoped it wouldn’t be misinterpreted as shyness, hesitation, or sulking.

I sealed the envelope and wrote the name.

Having finished the task, I pushed the letter to the side and reached for the book I had been reading. I opened the page where I had left a bookmark and started reading from a bit earlier.

With tea and cookies as companions, I enjoyed my favorite reading time.

…But the words kept slipping past me, and I couldn’t focus on the content. I couldn’t immerse myself as usual.

I sighed, placed the bookmark back, and closed the book.

It seems I was more angry than I thought.

I ate the cookies mindlessly, taking a big bite and swallowing quickly. I drank the tea in one gulp and dove into bed.

Hugging my favorite cushion, I took deep breaths repeatedly.

…It’s infuriating. As soon as the disgust from the letter subsided, anger rose up.

What is wrong with that man?

What does he mean by a second wife, a good relationship? He just wants the Bloom family’s support. He doesn’t care who it is as long as they have money. Of course, I will refuse.

No matter where I go, no matter how much time passes, I am only seen as the daughter of the Bloom family. It feels like I am only valued as the daughter of the Bloom family, which is frustrating, sad, and lonely.

I thought he saw me as Alicia, not just as the daughter of the Bloom family.

I know I haven’t been able to bring out my value beyond being the daughter of the Bloom family.

I also know that using the name of the Bloom family is an option.

Even though I am twenty and considered an adult, I haven’t become skilled enough to navigate these situations. I hate myself for this, and tears welled up.

I will let myself be consumed by these dark emotions, feel this intense frustration and sadness, and let my anger run its course just for now.

I will cry, get angry, take a bath, and go to bed.

Then, from tomorrow, I will be able to smile again.

I will remind myself that these feelings are my own fault, not his, and continue to bury my face in the cushion.

It was a cold night.

A very cold, windless night.

Happy New Year!

I hope you have a wonderful year.