Chapter 30

About my brother's childhood? And our sibling relationship?

"The Grand Waltz" is a piece with dramatic contrasts. It feels like a series of mountains and valleys that continue until the end. The valley parts are mostly repetitions of basic steps, creating a slow and steady pace.

And now, we are in a valley.

"……………………"

I was a bit careless with my footing, and my head was filled with many question marks.

The reason for my unusually long silence was because of this, but Derek, who seemed a bit different from usual, proposed something with a serious expression.

"――Can we have a heart-to-heart talk... no, can I talk to you honestly?"

Derek had referred to himself as "ore" in front of me since childhood.

"Just as a friend of Serius, and you as Serius' sister."

"......So, no lies or deceit, right?"

"Yes. I'll be honest too."

"That's a good thing."

I'm in!

This means I don't have to wear myself out with mind games and probing!

No lies! Be honest!

I love this kind of phrase!

-- Seriously, if it's about my brother, it might be something that affects me too.

It feels like this is the main topic for Derek.

But that's why it's a mystery why Derek would bring up childhood memories now.

"Shall we start with your answer to my previous question?"

"......I remember everything about my childhood and my relationship with my brother."

I'm not suffering from amnesia.

Then, Derek, with a serious expression, mentioned a certain event from the past.

"Your relationship with Serius, and the fact that you were bullied by me? The time when I and Serius had a big fight..."

"Of course I haven't forgotten."

I answered immediately.

This grudge, should I settle it! I hold grudges! I don't forget what I've been through! I clearly remember being bullied by Derek when I was a child!

...But, since my mental age has been eighteen since I was born, I didn't suffer any psychological damage.

After all, a ten-year-old Derek versus a six-year-old me with an eighteen-year-old mind was like a default win for me. There were no physical injuries from bullying either—ah, right, the story Derek mentioned about the big fight between my brother and him.

The trigger for that was when I tripped Derek.

I was supposed to dodge gracefully...! And then leave...!

-- But I ended up scraping my knee a little.

That was the first and last injury I got from Derek's bullying.

Even a scrape is an injury, so Uncle's wrath fell upon Derek, and from that point on, the bullying stopped. An apology and a superficial reconciliation were held in the presence of Uncle and my brother.

-- And now, I've long lost the advantage of my mental age.

Derek is around... twenty years old?

But my mental age remains eighteen.

...When I turn nineteen as Octavia, will my mind grow too?

Sometimes, I think about it.

If I had died as an adult, married, and had children, and then been reborn as Octavia.

Would I have been a proper adult and handled things better?

"But... I also regret taking Uncle away."

With a sigh, those words slipped out naturally.

This was one of the things I didn't handle well.

Because of the complicated relationship with my parents... Father, I got too attached to Uncle, who I felt a strong connection with from the start...

Duke Knightfellow, Uncle, couldn't ignore a princess—.

What Derek, his biological son, thought about it, and the fact that I wasn't a child in body, but my mind overlooked these things. Probably, the reason I still find Derek a bit difficult to deal with is due to the lingering resentment.

"......Uncle?"

As I was reflecting, a shocked voice reached my ears.

Lifting my gaze, which had been slightly lowered, I saw Derek trying to stifle a laugh.

...What's going on?

"Octavia, you call my father 'Uncle'?"

Oh no! I messed up! The "Uncle" call was only used when it was just the three of us—Uncle and his wife and me—or in my mind! ...But that's what Derek reacted to first?

"Uncle..."

As soon as I said it again, Derek started to laugh.

Ah! Seeing Derek's amused expression, I could sense shock and relief from the people who believe in the rumors about my dancing...

I can tell who wants Derek's downfall and who doesn't! The rumors are scary...! The world of nobles is terrifying!

And Derek! Still trying to laugh!

This made me a bit irritated. Calling him "Uncle" is fine!

"......Uncle is Uncle. It's a term of endearment."

Rather, what else would I call Uncle?

"Even if it's a term of endearment, it's hard to imagine that refined term fitting my father... 'Uncle'?"

He's clearly amused!

After a while, Derek, suppressing his laughter, finally spoke.

"Excuse me. You were reflecting, right?"

"......Yes."

I exhaled.

"Taking care of you was Father's will, so you're not at fault. If there were any complaints, it was my immature self who was jealous and bullied you. I took the wrong approach when there were other ways."

"......My brother tried to build a good relationship with me, but I kept my distance, which you didn't like, right?"

Back then, my brother, despite my snide remarks and keeping my distance, patiently dealt with me.

As my brother grew, he also kept his distance, and our current relationship was established.

But from Derek's perspective, seeing such a brother, I was probably a frustrating sister to his friend.

Derek has been my brother's friend since childhood.

...That's right, that's it.

-- Actually, there's something I've been secretly wondering about.

The music moved from a valley to a mountain, and it was the climax of "The Grand Waltz."

A time to focus on the partner's movements and match the rhythm. Even for a professional, there's no time to talk. Needless to say, I couldn't. Derek also kept quiet.

If we talked, we'd definitely bite our tongues.

As the flow brought us closer, our faces naturally came close.

He stared at me intently.

Derek's handsome face tensed a bit. Yet, he was still handsome. This super prime property that will eventually be with a man...!

No, no.

That's not it. Derek's position and everything, it's just... strange.

I could only tilt my head.

-- Derek Knightfellow doesn't appear in the original work.

But in reality, he's my brother's friend.

Of course, my brother has several friends, some of whom appear in the original work and some who don't. Derek might just be one of the latter.

An unnamed minor character not mentioned in the story.

...But I think Derek has a high chance of being mentioned as my brother's friend. His absence in "The Virtuous King" is what feels off.

I hadn't noticed this strangeness because we rarely interact, but now it's more apparent.

...Even if I wonder, I won't find an answer.

I shook my head internally.

First, the problem at hand. I need to clear the most challenging part of "The Grand Waltz." I can't ruin the opening dance.

-- And with dedication, I cleared it without a mistake! A sense of accomplishment!

"Another reason I bullied you was..."

As we moved from the climax to a valley, Derek immediately spoke.

"......Indeed, I didn't like it. Especially because Serius was friendly with you."

He answered the question I had asked just before the climax.

"But now it's clear that our memories align. ...Ours and Serius' memories didn't match."

The latter part was added bitterly.

"......Didn't match?"

"Serius doesn't remember bullying you or the big fight, or even being kind to his distant sister."

"Childhood memories can be forgotten or become vague."

Derek sighed briefly and shook his head slightly.

"It's not just that... It's as if those memories were completely erased and rewritten. Not just from childhood, but specifically about... you, Octavia."

"About me?"

I blinked.

"Yes. Moreover, he's not even aware of it. There are very few people who know about the relationship between you and your brother in childhood. The perception that the first prince and princess have always been distant and hostile has become the norm. If it were true, I wouldn't say anything. But if Octavia's memory is also altered—"

"......I'm fine."

Rather, I remember things I'd rather forget. Vile memories and all.

"......But, does this mean someone has harmed my brother?"

"It doesn't seem natural. ...I also find it hard to believe that Serius unconsciously forgot."

The last part sounded like a soliloquy.

"Why do you think so? If it's a bad memory, he might want to forget it."

"......Because I remember Serius from back then. The dreams he had. The fact that... those memories were gone was a shock to me."

Derek is much closer to my brother than I am.

According to Derek, someone has erased my brother's memories.

Specifically, the events involving me in childhood?

-- But who, and for what purpose?

Even with my knowledge from the original "The Virtuous King," I can't guess the culprit.

In the original novel, there was no mention of Serius having memory issues. I found myself pondering.

Derek's voice came down to me as I looked down.

"......Are you worried about Serius?"

"......He's my brother."

I looked up.

Sure, our relationship isn't great, and we've had our clashes, but I don't hate him. It's just complicated because of the succession issue.

"I'm relieved."

Derek probably smiled genuinely.

What Derek wanted to know was my reaction?

"I thought the people who admire my brother would see me as an enemy."

In other words, Derek too.

After the bullying stopped, there were no attacks from Derek, not even today's verbal jab. We just didn't interact much, but talking to Derek now, it seems he's doing this for my brother. If I had to guess, Derek isn't particularly against me.

Derek's smile turned into a wry one.

"Well, that's mostly correct."

There you go!

"Oops, I'm not an enemy. ...But I'm not an ally either."

"Even though you're my brother's friend? -- Helping Sir Sil for this semi-ball, isn't that a betrayal to my brother?"

"Friends don't always have to agree. Sometimes, it's necessary to disagree, especially when you're friends."

"What about Sir Sil and me becoming close?"

"......I don't see a problem with that."

Casually. Lightly. Too light, Derek!

"Just as Derek, I can say that. Sil has always wanted to talk to you. Besides, you can't limit Sil's personal relationships. I didn't expect Sil to escort you to this ball, though."

"Oh, did you forget that Clifford was also my escort?"

"......Right. Alderton's presence is another issue for Serius."

Derek looked thoughtful.

My brother has a bad impression of Clifford? Hmm. This is new information.

Considering his talent, my brother, who prefers meritocracy, would likely recruit someone like Clifford.

The music became softer.

While we were talking, we safely navigated the remaining peaks, and "The Grand Waltz" was nearing its end. The melody became delicate, leaving a lingering impression.

In the hall, the people watching us perform the opening dance came back into view.

Derek took my hand, and we spun once.

Then, we let go and ended. The music also stopped.

From here, the male guests and couples would start dancing—.

But the unfair rumors about my dancing came to mind.

I might have an idea.

...Yeah. If I'm going to say it, now's the time!

Before the guests started moving, I took a step forward from where I was standing and spoke to them.

"--- I would like to use this opportunity to tell everyone something."

Eh... The hall fell silent?

Well, if they're listening, that's not bad!

Let's say it!

"Most people who dance with me end up in ruin—so I've been told."

The hall is packed with guests. Countless eyes are on me.

They're staring at me with such intensity!

...At a time like this, I wish I had a fan.

I want to hide half my face with a fan and block the view...! A fan...! My strongest ally...!

But I left it with Clifford... I left it...

I had another idea. Since Clifford is in the same hall, I could ask him to return it. In addition to addressing the rumors, if I have the actual fan and say, "It's fine to use it!" it could be a two-for-one deal! I'd feel more secure with the fan in my hands!

I scanned the area for Clifford. The royal seats... and there, next to Rosa, who was looking excited, I saw Uncle, who wasn't there before we started dancing.

I quickly found Clifford.

Our eyes met, his deep blue gaze locking with mine.

"--- Clifford, the fan, please."

I extended my right hand.

I was sweating inside, but I smiled regally.

Thanks to the dress, I looked composed... or at least I hoped so!