Chapter 11

This time, the mood is a bit more serious. A slight crack and change occur in the relationship between Alber and his servant.

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Julius has had special feelings for Alber for quite some time, but basically, Alber is in a state where he is afraid of love and death flags, and is overshadowed by his formidable father.

The same goes for Kishutaria.

However, Kishutaria is almost aware of everything except Alber. Hang in there, little brother.

With a *tsun* sound, he poked the origami.

After that, the two returned to the Dimitrius earldom surprisingly easily and without much fuss, and Kishutaria and Julius returned to the Latitche ducal mansion.

Despite returning after a long time, the days passed awkwardly.

Even though I had been waiting for so long, something felt off even when we were together. Kishutaria is as kind as ever, and Julius is as capable as ever.

The difference in gender that had become apparent during the time apart. If we had been together all along, I wouldn't have noticed the gradual changes.

Especially Mikaeris had changed a lot. He had become such a strong and handsome man. His good looks are almost too much.

I playfully got a little closer to him, and he wrapped his arm around my body—just to support me when I stumbled, as I was making strange noises and wriggling.

That's right, it must be just that. It's not good to misunderstand. After all, I'm not the heroine but the villainess.

If I get carried away, I don't know when the death flag will be raised. At least, I need to be quiet until Kishutaria and the others graduate from the academy.

But why is this subtle atmosphere? I wanted to involve them in my whims and have a lively time when they returned.

And I wanted Mikaeris to get involved occasionally, and for Gibril to join in—such days were supposed to continue.

Our relationship, which has become subtle, is now in a delicate balance.

I can't act like a dull heroine.

Because I've noticed. Mikaeris sees me not as a childhood friend or a sister, but as a member of the opposite sex.

This must have spread, and even the sensitive step-brother Kishutaria and surprisingly Julius are creating a bit of a subtle atmosphere.

Raven, who is oblivious to such subtleties, tilts his head in confusion, sensing the changes in the senior and the ducal heir. Damn, what a cute guy. He's so soothing. I was petting his round, well-shaped head, and Julius looked unamused.

It's fine, isn't it? Just a little. It's okay to dote on a servant a bit. Kishutaria doesn't let me pet his head anymore these days.

Julius and Raven both have black hair. But Julius's hair is a glossy, jet-black, while Raven's is a matte, charcoal-gray black.

Albertina also has black hair, but thanks to the meticulous care of the maids, including Anna, it has a distinct luster and angel ring.

To be honest, if she were silent, I would think Albertina is a living work of art.

However, her inner self is far from that of a typical young lady. She is a naive girl, despite her prestigious title. She is just dozing in the safe birdcage of Latitche.

Perhaps she will be sent to a convent in the future. Not getting married and staying in the Latitche family as a widow would be a burden to Kishutaria and his wife.

How long will I be allowed to live off my father's name?

Maybe I should start looking for a good convent now, a bit early.

Anna and Lady Latitche might be a little excited by the signs of young love, but unfortunately, that's not possible.

In this world, love is a death flag. Albertina has various endings depending on the situation. I don't want to be raped, exiled, stripped, and brutally killed. The more she burns with jealousy, the more tragic it becomes.

I can't make a choice that will ruin my life based on a momentary emotion. I would be fine with being a virgin for life, as long as I can live in peace—besides, if someone did something to me without my father's knowledge, he would go all out to catch the culprit, toy with them, and thoroughly make an example of them.

Did something happen to my father?

To the all-powerful father? A situation that would render him immobile must be quite extreme. ...I should carry more amulets from my father. The absence of the ultimate weapon, my father, is a matter of life and death for the current bumbling Albert.

I feel like I'm becoming negative. I can't stop thinking about bad things.

Wanting to heal my troubled heart, I sneaked out of the room. Moping won't do any good. I was picking flowers in the backyard like a child. Daisies exist in this world too. Maybe I should make a crown for Raven. It would suit his black hair.

Unexpectedly, it didn't go well, and I was staining my fingers green while trying to make it. Suddenly, a shadow fell over me.

"......What are you doing, Miss Albert?"

Julius, holding a parasol, looked at me with a puzzled expression.

The white parasol, made with layers of lace, has a polished wooden handle with a white lacquer and a matching lace ribbon, one of my favorites.

It's obvious what I'm doing—making a daisy crown.

"It's not good for a young lady to be in the sun. Please move to the indoors or the shade."

Young lady—indeed, I am a duchess's daughter, but I am a valueless existence as a true young lady. I can only smile bitterly at Julius's words.

"Miss?"

Julius, kneeling and tilting the parasol, extends his free hand to me.

His straight, beautiful black hair. A white daisy crown would suit this black hair too. His deep purple eyes, behind the glasses, look at me curiously.

I placed the daisy crown on his unguarded head.

It was a bit tilted, but the white flowers and green stems stood out against his glossy black hair.

His eyes behind the lenses widened in surprise, making me feel the most "gotcha!" moment. A perfect servant, surprised by such a trivial thing.

"It suits you."

"......Does it?"

He turned his gaze away, which looked cute, and I laughed. Hearing this, Julius lowered his head even more.

For the sake of the adorable face of the unapproachable Julius, I will obediently return to the mansion.

When I tried to place my hand on his, slightly stained with grass juice, his hand slipped away.

"......What......"

The daisy crown on his head was crushed by Julius's hand.

The unexpected action made me feel as if my heart was being crushed too.

"Why...... Why......! Why are you......!"

"Julius?"

"Unless you are......! Unless you are, I......!"

The crushed daisy crown fell apart, and the petals scattered. Scratching his hair, Julius was a sight I had never seen before.

"Unless you are...... I wouldn't have...... I wouldn't have loved you......!"

A confession like spitting blood. A wailing like rejection. Intense emotions.

What does this mean? Love? Me? What is Julius saying?

Julius didn't want to love me. Didn't want to love me? Why do you have such feelings for me?

He trampled the remains of the crushed flowers with passion. The petals were mercilessly crushed under the slightly better leather shoes than those of other servants.

His eyes, behind the glasses, glowed with a deep purple, like a bolt of lightning.

Julius's handsome face, twisted with anguish, was filled with more sorrow than anger.

Albertina is in a complex environment. The distortion of the Latitche family, with its immense power, must have involved him. I tried not to make Julius do harsh tasks, but I am aware of my frequent whims.

He is very capable, but he is not much older than me. How many times has he been subjected to insults and unfair treatment?

This is the first time I have seen Julius express such intense emotions.

"......Julius"

His usual composed voice did not return.

He might be surprised by the sudden emotional outburst.

I am also surprised. The Julius I know is always calm and composed. He is very capable and hides his true feelings behind a beautiful smile. He handles my whims and difficulties with ease. He is actually very interested in new things, especially when I try to create something with my modern knowledge from another world.

He is a bit mischievous, but he is really very kind.

I reach out to his cheek, which is bowed down on his knees.

"I'm sorry, Julius. I've caused you so much trouble."

He trembled. Julius slowly raised his head and looked at me with disbelief.

I tried not to involve him in the "misdeeds" of "Albertina." However, by taking different actions from the original villainess, I might have created a distortion that involved him.

I don't know what role he was forced to play as Albertina's servant. It might be a different issue.

Still, the fact that I have caused him pain is true.

"......I'll tell you first, Julius."

This choice must be right.

I have always thought so. I should have done it—yet I was being selfish.

More than my father, I have been a greater burden to him.

"I will enter a convent after Kishutaria and the others graduate."

His purple eyes widened almost to the point of spilling out.

The me reflected in his eyes was calm. I am smiling. It's okay.

"I am a duchess's daughter, yet I have not fulfilled my role.

I believe my father has been working hard and taking many risks for my sake.

This house will be inherited by Kishutaria. I have burdened him with a great responsibility because of my inadequacy.

However, as a duchess's daughter, I should properly conclude my role.

I can't remain a child forever. I know that."

Unbelievable? But I have always thought so. A sense of inevitability is necessary. I should step away from the spotlight.

While knowing that my whims might be pushing and hurting those around me, I didn't want to see it. I thought that if things didn't go as in the original story, no one would get hurt.

I was afraid that if I said it out loud, it would become definitive. But I need to be prepared.

"......You must be joking......?"

Is this really Julius, looking at me with a trembling voice, clinging to me?

He is in shock. Unfortunately, it's not a joke.

"No, it's true."

"Was my work insufficient? Was I inadequate as a servant, as someone who serves by your side?"

"No, it's not your fault. I can assure you of that. You have done a wonderful job. I am grateful."

"Then, why!? Why are you rejecting me!?"

"You are important to me, Julius."

But

"I don't want to see anyone's life go astray because of me.

I don't want my father to run without taking care of himself. I don't want anyone to be involved or to be forced into a role in his place.

I don't want to hurt anyone or be hurt.

Please live freely. I want you to see the wider world I don't know."

I don't know if this feeling is friendship, affection, or romantic love.

The time I spent as "Albertina von Latitche" was short, intense, and distorted.

"Your feelings are precious to me. I was very surprised, but... thank you for liking me.

But, I have a bloodline that makes people want to use me, even if I don't want it.

There are many who want it, even if I don't.

If I fail, if I marry and have children... there are people like that.

Many want to infiltrate the Latitche family.

I don't want to burden Kishutaria and Lady Latitche."

The kind stepmother, the kind stepbrother.

The "family" my father gathered for me—these toys. How much trouble they must have gone through when they were suddenly brought in.

The etiquette of the top nobility is stricter than that of the lower nobility. They must have struggled to fit into the ducal family.

"Lord Kishutaria! He is, after all, a branch family and a bastard. If he marries you, it will become solid......"

"Would you make my cute little brother, who is already useless, marry a woman with a bad reputation and flaws? I want him to have a happy marriage—I want him to be happy. I want a lady who can navigate society and support him, like Lady Latitche."

"......Why not marry Lord Mikaeris?"

"A young lady with flaws like me can't marry a proper noble. This story is too well-known.

Even if I were to, the difference in status between a count and a duke, between the Dimitrius and Latitche families, is too great.

Most importantly, the Latitche family has too much power concentrated. Too much, in terms of bloodline and authority."

"You are not useless! How many have been saved by you......"

"Thank you, your words are enough for me. I can go with peace."

"Miss Albert...... Are my words not reaching you......?"

They are reaching you, Julius. Clearly.

But I don't have the confidence to face something that will make you suffer so much.

Even if you say you love me, I can't answer with the same passion. I don't think I should be by your side.

It would be unfair to give you false hope, to keep you waiting and toying with you.

I am not that selfless, nor that wicked.

If I take your hand, I will undoubtedly drag you into my karma. Not just you, but anyone whose hand I take.

If we had met at a different time, in a different position, it might have been different. But that's just wishful thinking.

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