Chapter 2

I do not think that all the years I spent in Arudina were unhappy.

At the very least, the time I spent with Filo was absolutely not unhappy.

However, if I were asked whether the days in Arudina were happy, I could not affirm it.

The days I was born and raised, living while thinking about many things.

I am sure I will never return to this country.

Is that why the past came to mind so strangely?

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"Here, Lord Rium, please have some tea."

"Thank you, Filo."

I take a sip of the tea he offers with a smile. The wind that blew in from the open window stirred my hair. At the same time, a high-pitched, sweet laugh and a deep, joyful laugh came from outside the window and entered the room. After hearing those voices, Filo frowned and closed the window. The white curtains that had been fluttering in the pleasant breeze stopped moving. The two voices that had been heard also disappeared.

"…That person, despite being Lord Rium's fiancée…"

I take a sip of the tea, feeling a mix of anger and envy in his softly spoken words. I can feel my lips smiling. The ones walking hand in hand outside, looking so affectionate, are the prince of this country, Lord Yuto, who is my fiancé, and my younger sister, Plum. Normally, a fiancé going on a public date with his fiancée's sister would be something to be criticized, and it would be natural to frown upon it. However, in this country, it is allowed if the person is Plum. Plum's position is not special, but in this country, it is as if it is common knowledge, a fixed system, that she is favored. Even if it is allowed in this country, she is still looked at with disapproval by other countries. Personally, I do not care if they love each other or if Plum becomes Lord Yuto's second fiancée. I just want the proper procedures to be followed. If they were officially announced as the second fiancée, it would not invite ridicule from other countries. After all, Lord Yuto is allowed to have multiple wives, and I, too, have someone else in my heart. Filo turns back from the window, looks at me, and smiles gently. The heat that gathers in my cheeks just from seeing his smile. I return his smile and take a sip of the tea to hide the heat. I, too, would like to walk hand in hand with Filo, just like them. I would like to lean in close and laugh together, as if sharing a secret. Given my position, that is not allowed now, so all I have are the small moments I find in our daily interactions. Every moment I spend with him, whether our eyes meet or our hands touch slightly, is both happy and unhappy. I want to say "I love you." I have been carrying these two words, which I am not allowed to say, in my heart since the day I met Filo. It is like a smoldering flame, a desire that I want to scream out. …Still, even though the person we love is different, my marriage to Lord Yuto is a decided matter. The political marriage between Lord Yuto and me, which was promised when we were young, is for the sake of this country, not for us. Therefore, I think it is mutual that we have someone else in our hearts. No matter who I fall in love with, no matter how dissatisfied I am with the other person, I will marry Lord Yuto as the daughter of this country, with the responsibility I was born with. I have lived with this resolve since my childhood, and even after regaining the memories of my previous life, I did not change my resolve. It did not change, but…

I regained the memories of my previous life when I was eleven, before I met Filo, the night before my first diplomatic mission was assigned by my parents. Diplomatic apprenticeship usually starts around the age of fifteen. However, because my marriage to the first prince, Lord Yuto, was decided, my parents decided to teach me diplomatic work earlier.

My first diplomatic mission was to the country of Fakur, the land of monsters.

A country with the strongest power, capable of producing everything it needs. They declared that they would not attack the designated places of the countries they allied with, but they would do as they pleased in other places. They do not care if humans are injured in battles outside the designated areas or if their own monsters are killed. They are thorough realists and do not get angry even if they are defeated in battle. Still, their power is overwhelming. Every country wants to form an alliance with them, even if it means a burden to offer something. Once an alliance is formed, not only can the country be safe, but even the designated roads can be safely traveled. However, the king of Fakur will not form an alliance unless something valuable is offered. And our country, Arudina, has nothing to offer. We have few special products, a poor location, and a small land. We have nothing to offer, and from the perspective of other countries, we are so militarily weak that we could be conquered at any time. We have been able to live in peace without being attacked by other countries, but it is probably only a matter of time. If we can form an alliance with Fakur, we will be less likely to be attacked by other countries. Therefore, it makes sense that Fakur is my first diplomatic mission. The problem is that it is my first diplomatic mission, and I am still young. If I fail and the king of Fakur dislikes me or deems me worthless, I might be killed on the spot. The alliance with Fakur is somewhat special. The king of Fakur forms an alliance not with the country but with the individual diplomat. It is more like a favor to a favorite person. If the diplomat is not liked, even good conditions will be rejected, and if the conditions are bad, the diplomat might be killed on the spot. Fakur is not a place for a young, inexperienced child. The diplomat is not allowed to bring attendants and must go before the king alone and negotiate without any help. Even my parents, who work as diplomats, could not do it, so there is no way I, who only studied domestically, could succeed. Before my memory returned, I had no doubts about this, but this is a diplomatic mission that could endanger not only my life but also the country. I have been troubled by why my parents made such a choice until I found an answer.

The night before the diplomatic mission, when I was prepared to die.

The dinner table with my family was as usual, eerily so.

No one paid attention to my tension and fear of death, and the laughter of my younger sister, who is three years younger, echoed. My parents and the servants, who surrounded her, all smiled. I remember quietly standing up, feeling like I was at a funeral. I returned to my room, hugged my knees on the bed, and looked up at the stars through the window. As soon as I saw a shooting star, the memories of my previous life came to mind one after another, as if by divine revelation. If I had not seen that shooting star, if my memory had not returned, I would not be here now.