Chapter 48

People with strong empathy might find this painful, I just wanted to give you a heads up.

Today is a bit bitter.

When I was in second grade.

She transferred to our school.

She was a very cute and beautiful girl.

At first sight, I fell in love with her.

When she sat next to me, I was very happy.

I even thought it might be fate.

She always had a cool expression and never seemed to be affected by anything.

But she wasn't cold at all; she was kind to everyone and treated everyone equally.

When I forgot my textbook and asked her to lend me hers, she did so without any complaint.

She was such a good girl.

Because I liked her... I wanted to know more about her.

Once, I went to see her house.

It was a winter day in fourth grade, I think.

On a whim, I climbed the high stone wall and peeked into her house.

That's when I saw it.

Her mother slapping her cheek.

She was dragged out to the garden by her mother.

The sound of the glass door slamming shut was particularly memorable.

Even though it was a winter evening, she was shivering in her underwear.

I rushed to her side.

I don't remember what I said to her at that moment.

No, I probably couldn't say anything, just rushed to her.

She looked at me with cold eyes and said one word.

"Please don't get involved with me."

That's what she said.

I had no choice but to run away.

Later, I heard from her cousin, or rather, her older cousin.

I learned that she was a very pitiful girl.

It was a world I, from an ordinary family, couldn't even imagine.

I wanted to protect her, to help her.

But as just a child, I had no power.

I didn't even know what to do.

Still, I kept thinking if there was something I could do for her.

I tried talking to her and helping her with class duties.

Each time, she would smile beautifully and say, "Thank you."

If I could close the distance little by little.

And when I grew up...

Thinking about such things, I became a sixth grader.

I heard from her cousin that she would be attending a private junior high school.

It was about a forty to fifty-minute train ride away.

A prestigious school, but not one of the top-ranked ones in the country.

However, comparing my grades with the required scores and recommendations for that school, there was a significant gap.

I tried hard to get into the same school, but it didn't go as smoothly as the junior high school entrance exam.

I fell short by just a little.

I was devastated.

But we were neighbors.

We would still see each other.

There was still a chance.

Even if we couldn't go to the same high school, we could go to the same university.

But that hope was too optimistic.

I learned that once people lose their connection, they quickly become distant.

We would occasionally pass each other and nod in greeting.

That's all our relationship had become.

A month passed, and it was early May.

During the holiday, I saw her getting into a car in a beautiful kimono.

She looked very sad and miserable.

I hadn't seen her with such an expression since elementary school.

More time passed, and it was July.

On my way back from the cram school, I passed by her house and ran into her.

But she seemed a bit different from usual.

There was an unfamiliar man standing next to her.

He was a bit taller than me, well-groomed, and had a calm demeanor.

At first, I thought he might be a relative.

He seemed too mature to be a high school student.

He probably looked like a college student.

I didn't think a high school girl like her would have any connection with a college student, so I assumed he was a well-off young man from the "Amagase family."

He introduced himself as her classmate with a very composed voice and expression.

I was surprised that he was my age.

But upon closer inspection, he still had a hint of youth in his well-groomed appearance.

He had just been a middle school student not long ago, like me.

His speech and attitude were very gentle and polite.

She stood a step behind him, behaving properly.

It was as if she was following him.

She kept glancing at him, as if waiting for his mood, opinion, or instructions.

I thought he was a bad guy.

I don't remember what I said.

The only thing I remember is making an excuse and running away.

Just a classmate.

So, for her, he was just a male friend.

She had received many confessions from boys but had turned them all down.

There was no way she would start dating just a classmate now.

I kept telling myself that.

But... I couldn't help but worry.

Was he really just a classmate?

A friend?

Or maybe, just maybe...

Just thinking about it made me anxious and unable to sleep.

But I didn't have the courage to ask her directly.

We would just nod in greeting when we passed each other.

Days passed...

And it was September.

One day, I went out with my family to buy clothes.

And there she was.

I was about to call out to her, but the man was there with her.

She was happily choosing men's accessories...

She pointed to one of them.

The man held the accessory up to his neck.

Then she...

Lowered her eyes shyly, blushed, and fidgeted, as if she had a crush on the man.

I had never seen her make such an expression before.

She looked so pure, cute, beautiful, and... seductive.

It was shocking to see her, who was usually quiet, mature, cool, and composed, showing such ordinary girl-like emotions.

My heart raced.

My chest thumped.

If she made such an expression, any man would fall in love with her.

It was that charming.

I was lucky to see it.

It would be a memory I would cherish for life.

But...

That's why it was so painful that the expression wasn't directed at me.

I wanted to look away.

But I couldn't.

Before I knew it, I was following them.

They were happily looking at the accessories.

Pointing at expensive, gaudy decorations, she talked to the man.

I couldn't hear their conversation.

But I could guess what they were talking about and what they were doing.

Probably, she was telling him about the gems she liked.

Maybe she was asking for a favor.

To give her presents on her birthday or Christmas.

The man listened to her with a serious but relaxed expression.

Occasionally, he looked a bit troubled.

He was a bit exasperated by her whims...

But still, he would buy what she asked for.

It wasn't a big deal for something of that price.

That's what his face and conversation suggested.

At least, that's what I thought.

After they left, I checked the price of the accessory she had pointed to.

It was an astronomical price.

Even as a high school student, or a college student, or even as an adult, I wasn't sure if I could afford it.

Feeling dizzy.

Feeling like I was drunk on alcohol or drugs, I followed them.

They entered the clothing section.

She picked up an autumn coat with a mature design.

She sighed, probably because it was too expensive for her allowance.

Then she talked to the man.

They had a brief conversation.

She talked to a salesperson, tried on the coat, and then talked to the man again.

The man said something, and she smiled happily.

Then... I could hear her voice a little.

"Are you buying it for me?"

It was a playful, almost insistent voice.

She was asking the man.

I understood.

She was asking the man to buy the coat, and he had nodded.

The man took out a credit card from his wallet and bought the expensive, branded coat without hesitation.

She received the coat in a paper bag from the salesperson.

She hugged it happily with both hands.

She never got along with anyone.

A high and mighty flower.

A solitary, beautiful lone wolf.

But... she was wagging her tail like a dog or a cat that had been given food by its owner.

The man slowly reached out to her.

He stroked her silky, beautiful hair.

She didn't resist at all.

Instead, she leaned into him, closing her eyes and looking content.

She looked like a dog or a cat.

I couldn't bear to see her melted expression.

So I looked at the man's face.

The man... had a lecherous smile on his face.

He looked like he was planning something sinister.

I wanted to shout, "Don't be fooled!"

I actually tried to shout.

But... I didn't have the courage.

I felt nauseous.

When I realized it, I was in the men's restroom.

I washed my face at the sink.

In the mirror, I saw a haggard man... myself.

My love had ended before it even began.

This is quite biased.

The lovey-dovey part is correct, so that's accurate.

By the way, this is called BSS (I liked you first, but...).

In short, it's just a breakup.

If you keep thinking that opportunities will come if you wait, it will end up like this. I hope Yugen will not be satisfied with the lukewarm comfort and will burn even more.

By the way, there is someone who seems even more twisted than Kobayashi.

I'll talk about that next time.

The next update will be for the sports festival.

It's scheduled for the day after tomorrow.

If you find it interesting and want to read more, I would appreciate it if you could bookmark it and rate it (change the stars below the table of contents from ☆☆☆☆☆ to ★★★★★).