Chapter 51

It was the seventh day of my visit home. Since I’m supposed to return to the capital by tomorrow’s carriage, this is essentially my last day of vacation.

What should I do with my final day? As I pondered this, the existence of the notebook I had taken from my master’s study came to mind. I should properly apologize and ask if I could borrow it. It would be dishonest to my master to return to the capital without saying anything, and it would also keep me up at night, worrying.

I got ready with more determination than usual and left the house. I made sure to bring the small hemp bag containing the notebook, and I forced my feet, which felt heavier than usual, to move.

Just as I was about to sigh and stop, I noticed two familiar figures a little distance away. It was Lukas and—Petra!

I had run into them unexpectedly. I tried to sneak past without being noticed, so as not to disturb them, but—

“Oh…”

I had made eye contact with Lukas.

He was about to run over, but I stopped him with a gesture and approached them. I thought it would be better for me to approach Lukas and Petra and let her hear the conversation, rather than have Lukas leave Petra and talk to me from a distance, to avoid any unnecessary worry or misunderstanding.

“Laura! Where are you going?”

“To see my master. I’m leaving tomorrow, and there’s something I need to talk to him about.”

I emphasized the part about "talking to him." For a moment, Lukas’s lips pouted as if he was sulking. He must have been planning to follow me, so it was good that I took the initiative.

I met Petra’s gaze over Lukas’s shoulder. She smiled awkwardly. I needed to leave them quickly.

“Petra, see you later.”

As I said this, Lukas turned to Petra. I mouthed “good luck” to her. She blushed slightly and nodded. It seemed she understood.

I quickened my pace to leave them. As I did, I naturally got closer to my master’s house. Perhaps my body remembered the way, because before I knew it, I was standing in front of my master’s house.

I took a deep breath and tried to knock on the door, but I hesitated. I repeated this a few times, and as the day was about to end, I knocked on the old door with a bit of frustration.

“M-Master?”

My voice cracked. I cleared my throat, which was already dry.

My master peeked out from the bedroom.

“Oh, Laura. You’re leaving tomorrow, right?”

“Yes. I came to say goodbye.”

“Foh foh, you’re still so formal. Here, it’s a parting gift.”

He tossed me an old, worn notebook. I almost dropped it but managed to catch it. I flipped through a few pages and saw my master’s familiar handwriting, filled with some kind of concoction methods.

I thought it might be notes on how to make healing potions, but when I saw the ingredients, I realized it was something different. Most of the ingredients were poisons.

“What is this?”

“Berta’s work! It’s a notebook on poison concoctions. I was quite into making poisons for a while.”

My master’s notebook on poison concoctions. I was surprised by its existence, but I also heard something unsettling. I looked up at my master hesitantly.

“…You haven’t committed any crimes, have you?”

“I haven’t! How rude, my disciple! The art of making poisons is as deep as that of making healing potions. It’s just a matter of intellectual curiosity. …It might come in handy for you, given your tendency to get involved in things.”

It seemed he was worried about me. I felt a warm feeling spread in my chest, but at the same time, the notebook in the hemp bag in my right hand felt even heavier.

My conscience was gnawing at me. I couldn’t just take it without saying anything.

I took a deep breath and opened my mouth, my legs trembling with nervousness.

“Thank you! …Master.”

“Hm?” My master tilted his head, and I bowed deeply, offering him the hemp bag.

I could feel him tilting his head in confusion, but I couldn’t bring myself to look up. I kept my eyes on the old floor as I continued.

“I’m sorry for not saying anything! I found this in your study the day before yesterday…!”

The weight in my hand disappeared. My master must have taken the hemp bag.

The sound of the fabric rustling gently reached my ears. I had taken out the notebook. Then I heard the sound of pages being turned. My master didn’t say a word during this time.

The silence was painful. It felt like an eternity. It was broken by my master’s deep sigh.

—I had disappointed him.

I bit my lower lip to hold back the rising emotions.

“…You’re a fool. You should have just taken it without saying anything.”

His voice was much gentler than I had expected, and I looked up.

I met his eyes, and he smiled bitterly. In his red eyes, I saw what I hoped was affection for his disciple.

Relief washed over me, and I opened my mouth to apologize again.

“I couldn’t have done that. I would have been restless… I’m really sorry.”

My master laughed softly at my honest words. He really did laugh.

The tension in my body eased. My master laughed out loud at my obvious relief and then handed me the notebook.

“Take it. It might be useful. …But, can you give me a little time to talk about it?”

The relaxed atmosphere tightened again.

He was definitely talking about what was written in the notebook. Was this something my master had written?—

I shook my head a few times to clear my thoughts. My master would tell me when he was ready, so I shouldn’t pry.

I nodded silently, and my master lowered his eyes.

“I’m sorry for keeping it from you. But… it wasn’t a pleasant past for me. I’ll set up a time to talk about it soon.”

I was taken aback by the exhausted look on my master’s face, which I had never seen before. I couldn’t think of anything to say. I scolded myself for being such a useless disciple, but a question—or rather, a request—began to form in my chest. I hesitated to ask it in this setting, but I was afraid I would miss the opportunity if I didn’t, so I spoke up hesitantly.

“Um… can I invite someone else to that meeting?”

If possible, I wanted to invite Arnold to listen to the story with me.

My master didn’t ask who I wanted to invite; he just nodded.

“Master, t-thank you.”

I almost apologized but decided that gratitude was more appropriate, so I bowed deeply. My master didn’t react and said, “I’m going to get some fresh air. Watch the house,” before passing by me and leaving the cottage.

Left alone, I plopped down into a nearby chair. The chair creaked, but I didn’t have the energy or strength to care.

I looked at the notebook my master had given me again. I would read it carefully on the way back and consult Arnold when I returned to the capital.

As I thought this, I stared blankly at the door my master had just gone through.